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Boyfriend doesn't come via vaginal sex....help!

Watching too much porn can definitely do that. i dont see a problem with it taking 10 15 mins to finish tho...
 
I've never been with a guy that came in <10 minutes, believe it or not but most guys like to last longer than that. Have a look at how many 'I cum too fast/how can I last longer' threads there are on BL, it might put it into perspective for you. If you want a guy that blows his load as soon as he sticks his dick in your pussy then you should start scouring high schools.
 
Oh and for the record, a 'quickie' in my experience still lasts at least 10-15 minutes.
 
You guys don't get this!
It's not me saying stop fucking me for 10 minutes it's too long.....its him that stops!!
He does it for a while then just stops! ! Why doesn't he carry on until he comes
I'm saying it takes 10 to 15 mins and that's a long time because him stopping makes me feel like he can't be arsed to carry on...so he lies on his back then waiting for me to finish him off
But really I have never been with amy other guy like this!!
Out of interest how old are you guys...maybe it's a new generation thing and im from the old !!
 
I've had quickies where I've gone into the garage with tea for my man...took one look at him all mucked up....had sex there and then...over in under 2 minutes...you don't know what your missing...the frenzy is amazing!
 
Sex and the fact your guy likes porn are the least of your worries OP, you posted about how he is verbally and psychological abusing you. You deserve better and I wouldn't be surprised if you are being beat up by him. FFS the guy said he would snap your neck!!! You are in danger girl!
 
No he hasn't hit me
He is very moody and bit manic depressive..jealous and suspicious
I don't mind the porn at all as long as he wants me too!
I know this relationship is hard going and I know I give more than I get
I was just trying everything to improve it before I make any big decisions about it
Thanks for your concern x
 
Sarah Daisy said:
No he hasn't hit me
He is very moody and bit manic depressive..jealous and suspicious
I don't mind the porn at all as long as he wants me too!
I know this relationship is hard going and I know I give more than I get
I was just trying everything to improve it before I make any big decisions about it
Thanks for your concern x
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I think there's threee apparent problems:
- The porn addiction
- The lack of communication between you two
- A lack of (sexual) self confidence for both of you

Any addiction isn't healthy. Your boyfriend has convinced himself he needs a sexual outlet through porn. The brings me to the second point: you both clearly have problem in communicating about this. I suppose, (I could be off, correct me if I'm wrong) that these discussions usually start in a bout of frustration, escalate into reproaches and end with anger? Or, not at all.
Instead of feeling personally offended, try to understand or talk to him why exactly your boyfriend feels offended when you try to spice things up? IF I had to guess, I think it's because of a lack of self-esteem on his part. I think he feels pressurized into sex, which leads him conflicted about needing to "perform". That's an issue a lot of males have, whether we would like to admit it or not. I think if you take away that underlying issue, sex would be more spontaneous, more honest, more pleasant. To me, it seems he has a monumental struggle with himself and his own image. Porn is a very easy release, in that matter, to the point you might become dependent of it.
In turn, this makes you feel underrated, unappreciated and very disconnected. I can fully understand this (mis)leads you to believe you're unattractive and frustrated. Don't, there's no need. You're fine.

Grab him by his shoulders, sit him down and try to have a conversation that doesn't turn into a conflict because your ego's got in the way. Neither of you have anything to prove to each other, right?
 
Sarah Daisy said:
No he hasn't hit me
He is very moody and bit manic depressive..jealous and suspicious
I don't mind the porn at all as long as he wants me too!
I know this relationship is hard going and I know I give more than I get
I was just trying everything to improve it before I make any big decisions about it
Thanks for your concern x
Click to expand...
That's good he has not hit you but the threats about hurting you/verbal abuse need to stop.

He also should get help for his depression or being manic/bipolar if he actually is diagnosed as bipolar and isn't taking meds for it, or even seeing a therapist specializing in mental health. Good luck.

Have the two of you ever seen a relationship counselor?
 
porn dependence LOL DSM 6 in the making :)
go easy on him OK Is he still watching porn ?
how much and when ?
have you ever talked dirty to him that would help
the art of ejaculation is 90 % cerebral and 10 % physical
you can help him come fast if you study how he comes after a pornocourse :)
 
Alpha centauri......no he would never agree to talk to anyone about personal stuff....he doesn't really mix with people. ...he never goes to see friends....he goes to work...goes home and stays in alone....or works on his car in garage....he is a real loner
 
Doctordetox.....I do go easy on him....I am not bothered by porn....I just want to be as important as the porn! Yes I've tried everything.....when he masturbates his grip is so tight....and when I do it for him he is always saying do it really hard/tight........think that's prob the problem
 
Sarah Daisy said:
Sigh......as I've said before when I try surprising him....randomly initiating....surprising him dressed up etc....he gets defensive like saying he can't just perform and what if his dick doesn't work properly or accuses me of being sex mad .....both these reactions are a turn off!! And we are not twenty something!!!
A few weeks into our relationship we were kissing once heavily in his kitchen. ....he was hard so I whispered in his ear "show me what you've got" he just went limp straight away and called me sex mad and walked off!!!

He is so sexually insecure he can't be pleased...he's always telling me not to put pressure on him sexually!
I've never had a problem in any relationship before but then I've never had a man before who was afraid of his own dick before!
I think he prefers porn cuz it's easy....nobody else to please but himself.....cuz he's terrified!
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Re-read what you've written and tell me his anxiety is cured. Sounds like has some issues that he needs to sort out, he might not be anxious as he was but I'm guessing from what I've read in this thread he is still not exactly on top of the world. Sounds like this is a big deal for you so if you don't get things sorted somehow by him taking action I imagine this will cause a rift. You should confront him.
 
Sarah Daisy said:
Well maybe I've been with some quick guys then!! ... 99% of woman only come from clitoral stimulation
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Yea me too (as in 1-3 pumps & it's 'OOOOH BABY I WANT TO CUM')

Ok ok ok, this is simple... Very bloody simple (I don't do games but then I'm not in your situation... I think this might help you ?)

1. As I'm sure you have a 'back massager' - if you don't, they are fairly cheap

2. (Does he watch DVDs? Or straight off the net?) Anywho, find some very soft, vanilla lesbian porn... No guys, no hardcore shit

3. Watch it & get off... Trust me it's fucking hot & with your trusty 'back massager' you'll be able to clock up on some 'you' time

4. When he catches you - do it often enough & he will - you'll be genuinely surprised, hot & ready to go.

5. Use the massager when he's fucking you from behind

Bloody hell, I'm wet just thinking about it
 
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Bottom line is that you aren't happy. No one gets to dictate what fulfills you sexually but you. You can't change him. Shouldn't have to change yourself. Might be time to start thinking about either moving on or changing the nature of your agreement to include multiple partners. The alternative is sitting quietly in resentment and walking through life unfulfilled. Fuck that..
 
I've decided I'm going to behave sexually like I would normally.....so be spontaneous when I want....be as sexual as I feel... whenever I feel like it....I'm not going to tailor my sex life to fit him anymore....he's gonna have to deal with himself
 
Sarah Daisy said:
I've decided I'm going to behave sexually like I would normally.....so be spontaneous when I want....be as sexual as I feel... whenever I feel like it....I'm not going to tailor my sex life to fit him anymore....he's gonna have to deal with himself
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Good luck, don't cheat on the guy though, and stay safe since you did post about how he got mean at you in various ways when you would watch porn or say a guy on TV was good looking.
 
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