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Boyfriend and porn

Qzly7r said:
i have such a high libido and I rub up on him with my ass every night but he doesn't do anything about it and it makes me feel inadequate and yeah, I have, hence why he stopped watching it for a week but after that he hid it from me. I have't spoken to him about it making me feel like my needs aren't being met cause that'd make him feel bad but whenever I do he makes me feel bad about it.
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Ok. You have a problem. He isnt being a good boyfriend to you and youre better off without him.


Sure porn is porn. But hes not being a good bf regardless so yeah. Dump him.

You dont even need a reason.
 
Best I can tell most of the people in here have not bothered to read your replies. If they had they wouldn't be jumping on you so much.

Bottom line is this guy is a loser and a complete waste of your time. Leave him and move on.
 
The watching porn thing really isn't a problem. But the way you describe how he's acting towards you seems like a problem to me. If you're trying to initiate sex and he's "too tired", and he tells you that going to porn chat rooms is "easier" than looking at pictures of you, that's strange and it suggests that he isn't really that into you, or else he has some sort of internal issue he's dealing with maybe. Combine that with him getting all insecure and forbidding you to look at porn, while he says it's fine because he's a guy... well, he sounds like kind of a douche to be honest. I think you deserve better. You should try to talk to him about this, and if he won't have a conversation with you about it and nothing improves, you should probably move on because there are plenty of guys who would being way more attention to you than to porn. I'm down to have sex any time at all that my girlfriend lets me know she wants it, well I mean there are times here and there where I am feeling sad or like for example for a little bit after my good friend died recently. But even if I'm tired, and she starts rubbing on me... yeah I'm gonna go for it. To me, porn is something I occasionally use if she's gone and I'm horny. My girlfriend doesn't have a problem with that, but if I acted like how your boyfriend is acting, she'd have a big problem with it, and rightfully so. It shows some sort of combination of lack of respect for you and lack of being able to feel close with you. Sounds sketchy to me.

You deserve better.
 
Is it just me who doesn't get the whole 'I have a gf but I'd rather wank' thing? If there is poon right there and actually demanding to be fucked how can beating one off be the logical choice :? Porn is a substitute when the real thing is not available, it should never be the preference when it is available. Something is wrong with your bf and/or the relationship, sorry.
 
Not just you, I don't get it at all. I don't even think about wanking normally because me and my girl have sex almost every day we see each other, which is usually 4-5 days of the week. The only times I do it are when she's out of town extendedly (which happens at least once a year for 2 months), or if I did some dopaminergic stimulants that night, and I find myself at home alone feeling all stim-frisky.
 
Healthy or active sex doesn't rule out a porn addiction, I'm just uncertain how negative it really is.

My partner uses chatterbate both when I'm away for work (1-4 weeks at a time) and when I'm home. We have sex at least once per day usually twice and sometimes more. He is still on chatterbate a few times per week. I use porn as well, more often when I'm home vs away despite month long solo periods. Porn doesn't replace meals for me it's more like a side dish when I'm eating well.

We both say we are in an open relationship but have become monogamous along the way, we decided to use less rules in our relationship and I think it made it much better. Perhaps it's simply hard to be disappointed when you lower your expectations but I'm really not sure that setting a high bar and then failing is really any good at all.
 
^^ The difference in your experience is that you remain interested in each other and (it seems) have a healthy closeness, while the OP's subsequent replies make it obvious this is not the case for them.
 
hmmmm??

send me your pics

Qzly7r said:
Hi, my bf likes to go on chaturbate where he watches other girls play with themselves and the girls are usually very pretty and have really nice boobs, asses and bodies in general. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him going on the site so he said "I respect your opinion and I'll stop" then I found out a week or so later that he'd been going on it behind my back. I feel like it's cheating because he's seeing other girls' private parts and getting aroused by it but I know that if I was on that site looking at guys' penises, he would not agree with it at all because he's insecure about his penis size as well as his body, so in respect I don't do it. When I confronted him about it, he said "I'm a guy, it's natural for me to do it so you need to start accepting that I will watch porn" am I crazy for STILL feeling betrayed by him and getting paranoid and scared that whenever I'm not with him, he's just going to go on chaturbate to get himself off. The thing that gets me is that I send him nudes and pics in lingerie but he chooses to go on chaturbate because "it's easier"...I feel really hurt and betrayed that he keeps going on this site to get himself off instead of asking me to sext him or send him pictures or skype sex/phone sex him... HELP please... I feel like it is a form of cheating because... well... he's looking at other women and getting aroused by them so he has to find them sexy and hot, he's looking at girls that don't look like me so he obviously can't say "oh, I'm looking at them ad imagining you" because that's obviously bullshit and he's most likely imagining what it's like to fuck them... Am I right to feel this way?
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Small update, we broke up because of certain issues but we are still talking as friends and he told me that he's now realised that he has been selfish and hasn't paid me enough attention in bed and that it was because he got lazy.
 
Watching porn is not a form of cheating to me.

Chatting live with another person, naked and talking dirty is a form of cheating and you have every right to call him out on his lack of committment and betrayal.

Op, I would steer clear of rekindling the relationship and being friends with him is not healthy when you are fresh out of the relationship.

Cheer up and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve.

I am willing to bet that you're not ugly, at all.

Chin up and don't lose yourself to this selfish idiot ex of yours.
 
Hi,

I like the video and basically all the input fractalgenie offered.

Based off my experience in being a male, watching porn and investing in live cam fantasies does indeed have an effect on the brain and causes a distortion to degrees in how one can receive more fulfilling pleasure from all areas of life; hobbies, family, relationships, from the opposite sex etc.

It's easy to settle for a lesser experience while being caught up in a habit, or some term it addiction, to whatever, and all of which happens to gain a greater portion of the mind.

To note, I really can't effectively say much in regards to your particular situation here due to the many variables involved and unknown factors. But I will say as fractalgenie noted, no one is really right or wrong but rather it's more of an issue of what works for the individual while each makes any necessary life adjustments.

Take care.
 
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Asclepius said:
Riiiight..... She should be very ashamed of herself for going with her gut and finding out that her mate is more interested in pleasuring himself to live-cam girls, than her.8) He isn't suplementing her here - he is neglecting her.

Wtf are you, the fucking spanish inquisition?? lol People check up on their spouses when they are made to feel uncomfortable and shut-out - its not abuse - it's just not being a gullible, brain-washed moron!



He is neglecting her and her needs.
She states that. He is a selfish wanker... literaly.

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If he has more interest in on-line porn or cams, leave him. He is not interested in you and will drain what shred of self-esteem you have left.
You deserve better. Watching porn, in lieu of your presence, is one thing, but if he is replacing you with porn, its not worth your energy.

Find someone better - plenty better out there - life is too short to waste it trying to please some guy who only cares about himself imo :)
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I like the content from both of these responses.
 
Let me add this. And in no way is it based on truth. Merely my current perception.

When a guy is actively watching by habit a variety of different women act and get off in many many unique ways, it sets him up to want more and more of the same diversity and the desire simply takes on a huge life of its on. He's giving and sharing all his affections with all these images and chicks in videos and at some point he may be running out of steam when it comes to being with you in person? If all this holds any power then yes it can be a personal decision to determine if his company is worth it any longer with the current state of things. And maybe this insight can be backed in part at least by the video that fractalgenie shared?
 
Too much jacking off is his problem, when you masturbate too much it will desensitize his duck, making it harder to orgasm with intercourse...
 
All I know is I would bet a large portion of the male population would give their left arm (I was going to say nut but...) to have a woman who constantly initiated sex. I mean having my lady rubbing up on me in bed all the time, damn I don't think there would ever be much sleep going on in that bed. He should count himself a very lucky man. That is unless the problem is something much worse than anyone has mentioned. I mean does he actually love the OP? I just can't tell at this point. Good luck though.
 
Hi,

I am sorry you are having this problem. I can tell it is tearing you up. Your "boyfriend" sounds like someone who is more invested in his live porn than in you. Personally, I do not think porn is wrong for anyone to view, but if you are doing it at the exclusion of a real relationship with a significant other that is right next to you, it is a REAL problem. You have done everything you can do to get his attention and to try to get him to interact with you like a normal man would want to do. However, he is not able to do that. This is not going to change unless he wants to, and I do not think he wants to or he would have done it already. You deserve better in life than to settle for the boyfriend you have now. From what you have said about your relationship with him, you are basically getting nothing from your endless amount of effort. You need to move on and find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
 
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