Neither. Even if my Benzo tolerance weren't so high that I can no longer feel 40mg of Valium, which means that Xanax would probably have a slight impact, all it ever did was make me extremely tired. In the realm of Benzos or anything related to them, Ambien at a modest dose is far better for this sort of thing in my experience.
Tramadol doesn't go with antidepressants so many on them cannot take it at, which is one con, and that I would need to take a considerably large amount is another.
I'd go with Kratom for an opioid serving as a "social lubricant".