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  • Film & TV Moderators: ghostfreak

Best monologues in movie history

The Wire

With Kima talking to her son and her son repeating everything.

"Goodnight moon
Goodnight stars
Goodnight po-pos
Goodnight fiends
Goodnight hoppers
Goodnight hustlers
Goodnight scammers
Goodnight to everybody
Goodnight to one and all."


I know it's not a film, but I always thought this was a fucking awesome (kind of) monologue.
 
Not so much a monologue this one but nevertheless...

" Sometimes Delores, sometimes you have to be a high-riding Bitch to survive, sometimes being a bitch is is all a woman has to hang on to"

~- Vera Donovan, Dolores Claiborne.

~ Some of us have great stories: pretty stories that take place at lakes, with boats, and friends, and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story: good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

~ Melvin Udall, As Good as it Gets

(speaking to Marie in bed while she sleeps) "I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."
~ Navin R. Johnson, The Jerk

John Laroche: Point is, what's so wonderful is that every one of these flowers has a specific relationship with the insect that pollinates it. There's a certain orchid look exactly like a certain insect so the insect is drawn to this flower, its double, its soul mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it. And after the insect flies off, spots another soul-mate flower and makes love to it, thus pollinating it. And neither the flower nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that because of their little dance the world lives? But it does. By simply doing what they're designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live -- how the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can't let anything get in your way. ~Adaptation
 
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^ the character of melvin udall is great. i love this quote from the same:
as good as it gets said:
Melvin Udall: I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.
Carol Connelly: I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.
Melvin Udall: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.
Carol Connelly: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.
apologies for the fact that this is dialogue and not monologue but it's just so good :)

alasdair
 
Fight Club
Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

i still remember getting fucking chills..
 
Full Metal Jacket
"I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be: "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that?...If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f--kin' beings! You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian s--t! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?...Who said that? Who the f--k said that? Who's the slimy little Communist s--t twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy f--king godmother said it! Out-f--king-standing! I will P.T. you all until you f--king die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungy little f--k, huh?!...(Joker: "Sir, I said it, Sir.") Well, no s--t. What have we got here, a f--king comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and f--k my sister. (Sergeant Hartman punches Joker in the stomach) You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unf--k yourself or I will unscrew your head and s--t down your neck!"...Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?... Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face... Well, any f--king time, sweetheart!... Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three-f--king seconds to wipe that stupid-lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f--k you!"
 
^ the character of melvin udall is great. i love this quote from the same:apologies for the fact that this is dialogue and not monologue but it's just so good :)

alasdair

Definitely, like that dialogue too. Melvin is a hugely, endearing character!...and Verdell!- that Dog melted me with his cuteness. :)
1043272.jpg
 
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A Jewish Barber(Charlie Chaplin): I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite! Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hannah! The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light! We are coming into a new world; a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality. Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow! Into the light of hope, into the future! The glorious future, that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up!

--The Great Dictator

yes
 
You look ridiculous in that make-up. Like the caricature of a whore. A little touch of mommy in the night. Fake Ophelia drowned in the bathtub. I wish you could see yourself. You’d really laugh. You’re your mother’s masterpiece. Christ. There are too many fucking flowers in this place. I can’t breathe. You know on the top of the closet? The cardboard box, I found all your, I found all your little goodies. Pens, key chains, foreign money, French ticklers, the whole shot. Even a clergyman’s collar. I didn’t know you collected all those little knick-knacks left behind. Even if a husband lives two hundred fucking years, he’s never going to be able to discover his wife’s real nature. I mean, I, I might be able to comprehend the universe, but I’ll never discover the truth about you. Never. I mean, who the hell were you? Remember that day, the first day I was there? I knew that I couldn’t get into your pants unless I said, what did I say? Oh, yeah. “May I have my bill, please? I have to leave.” Remember? Last night, I ripped off the lights on your mother.

And the whole joint went bananas. All your guests as you used to call them. Well, I guess that includes me, doesn’t it? It does include me, doesn’t it? For five years, I was more a guest in this fucking flophouse than a husband. With privileges of course. And then, to help me understand you, you let me inherit Marcel. The husband’s double, whose room was the double of ours. And you know what? I didn’t even have the guts to ask him. Didn’t have the guts to ask him if the same numbers you and I did were the same numbers you did with him. Our marriage was nothing more than a foxhole for you. And all it took for you to get out was a 35-cent razor and a tub full of water. You cheap, goddamn, fucking, godforsaken whore. I hope you rot in hell. You’re worse than the dirtiest street pig anybody could find, and you know why? You know why? Because you lied. You lied to me and I trusted you. You lied. You knew you were lying! Go on, tell me you didn’t lie. Haven’t you got anything to say about that? You can think up something, can’t you? Go on, tell me something! Smile, you cunt. Go on, tell me, tell me something sweet. Smile at me and say I just misunderstood. Go on, tell me. You pig fucker. You goddamn, fucking, pig fucking liar. Rosa, I’m sorry. I just can’t, I can’t stand it, to see these goddamn things on your face. You never wore make-up. This fucking shit. I’m gonna take this off your mouth. This lipstick. Rosa. Oh, God. I’m sorry. I don’t know why you did it. I’d do it too, if I knew how. I just don’t know how. I have to, I have to find a way.

~Last Tango In Paris, Marlon Brando as Paul

"You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. "

~ The Green Mile, Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey

Carlito: Sorry boys, all the stitches in the world can't sew me together again. Lay down... lay down. Gonna stretch me out in Fernandez funeral home on hun and ninth street. Always knew I'd make a stop there, but a lot later than a whole gang of people thought. Last of the Mo-Ricans, well maybe not the last. Gail's gonna be a good mom. New improved Carlito Brigante. Hope she uses the money to get out. No room in this city for big hearts like us... Sorry baby, I tried the best I could. Honest. Can't come with me on this trip loaf. Getting the shakes now, Last call for drinks, Bars closing down... Sun's out... Where are we going for breakfast, don't wanna go far.. Rough night.. Tired baby... Tired...
~Carlito's Way, Al Pachino

Now this here story I’m about to unfold took place in the early ’90s – just about the time of our conflict with Sad’m and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? Sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Dude here – the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if he’s a lazy man – and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I’ve done introduced it enough.
~The Big Lebowski, The Stranger, Sam Elliot. :)
 
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I'm sure this is already here somewhere but I don't have time to read all the posts. Dennis Hopper's monogue in "True Romance" to Christopher Walken's character "I read alot. Especially history. I find that shit facinating...You...are an eggplant" and it goes on. Sorry for the paraphrase, but I'm sure many are familiar with it. Also, while not a monologue per se, some of the narration in "Goodfellas". "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster...."
 
Just a minute - just a minute. Now, hold on, Mr. Potter. You're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap, penny-ante Building and Loan, I'll never know.

But neither you nor anyone else can say anything against his character, because his whole life was - why, in the twenty-five years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy?

He didn't save enough money to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter, and what's wrong with that?

Why - here, you're all businessmen here. Doesn't it make them better citizens? Doesn't it make them better customers? You - you said - what'd you say a minute ago? They had to wait and save their money before they even ought to think of a decent home.

Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down that they... Do you know how long it takes a working man to save five thousand dollars? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?

Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle. Well, in my book he died a much richer man than you'll ever be.

I know very well what you're talking about. You're talking about something you can't get your fingers on, and it's galling you. That's what you're talking about, I know. Well...I've said too much. I -- You're the Board here. You do what you want with this thing. There's just one thing more, though. This town needs this measly one-horse institution if only to have some place where people can come without crawling to Potter...

- It's a Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey
 
^Nice one Amor!:);)

I'm sure this is already here somewhere but I don't have time to read all the posts. Dennis Hopper's monogue in "True Romance" to Christopher Walken's character "I read alot. Especially history. I find that shit facinating...You...are an eggplant" and it goes on. Sorry for the paraphrase, but I'm sure many are familiar with it. Also, while not a monologue per se, some of the narration in "Goodfellas". "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster...."

Ya, tis but a cool one!:D I've always had fantasys of 'verbally' destroying my enemy in such a powerful and eloquent fashion!*Evil Laugh* ;)(..ah, the plight of the Nerd!:eek: lol)
 
If you think about it, freedom is all that there really is. You know, it used to scare me so much when I didn’t know what was coming in my life. You know, like, like, I would always think, you know, what if I might make the wrong move? But maybe there isn’t any right move. You know, I mean, look at us. You know, we all dress the same, we all talk the same, we all fuck the same, we all watch the same TV. Nobody’s really different, even if they think they’re different. “Oh boy, look at my tattoo,” you know? And see, that’s what makes me free. Because I can do anything I want, as long I don’t care about the result. Anything is possible. It is night on planet Earth, and I’m alive. And someday I’ll be dead. Someday I’ll just be bones in a box. But right now I’m not. And anything is possible. And that’s why I can go to New York with Suz, because each moment can just be what it is. There’s no failure. There’s no mistake. I just go there, and live there. And what happens happens. And so right now, I’m getting naked. And I’m not afraid.
--SubUrbia, Giovanni Ribisi as Jeff.
 
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This is from Don't Come Knocking" with Tim Roth as Sutter.

Howard Spence: Mind if I turn the radio on?
Sutter: Yes, I do, as a matter of fact. I don't like outside influence.
Howard Spence: Outside?
Sutter: That's right. The world at large. It's a nasty place. Why allow it in? Livestalk reports, Navajo chanting, beheadings, bestiality. Nothing's changed. Black Death, the Inquisition, the Crusades, conquest of Mexico. What's changed?
Howard Spence: I was thinking...
Sutter: What?
Howard Spence: I don't know.
Sutter: Nothing's changed.
Howard Spence: Guess not.
 
One: You two are divorced. So love failed. Two: Mom, your a New Ager, clinging to every scrap of Eastern religion that may justify why the above said love failed. Three: Dad, you're a slick, corporate, preppy-ass lawyer. I don't really have to say anything else about you do I dad? Four: You move from New York City, the Mecca and hub of the cultural world to Utah! Nowhere! To change nothing! More to perpetuate this cycle of greed, fascism and triviality. Your movement of the people, by and for the people got you... nothing! You just hide behind some lost sense of drugs, sex and rock and roll. Ooooh, Kumbaya!

I am the future! I am the future of this great nation which you, father, so arrogantly saved this world for. Look, I have my own agenda. Harvard, out. University of Utah, in. I'm gonna get a 4.0 in damage. I love you guys! Don't get me wrong, it's all about this. But for the first time in my life, I'm 18 and I can say "FUUUUUCK YOU!"

SLC Punk! (couple of good ones in this flick)


You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!

The Hudsucker Proxy


A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.

Se7en
 
Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corruption. Every fucking day, somewhere in the world, somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else. Every fucking day, someone, somewhere takes a conscious decision to destroy someone else. People find love, people lose it. For Christ's sake, a child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church. Someone goes hungry. Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman. If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know crap about life! And why the FUCK are you wasting my two precious hours with your movie? I don't have any use for it! I don't have any bloody use for it!

-Adaptation, Brian Cox as Robert McKee
 
Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine — the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than 400 years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
-V, V for Vendetta

So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


-Danny, American History X

Also from American History X but not because its significant just cuz it shows Norton being a BAMF

Nigger, you just fucked with the wrong bull! You should've learned your lesson on the fuckin' basketball court! But you fuckin' monkey's never get the message. My father gave me that truck motherfucker! You ever shoot at fireman? You come here and shoot at my family? I'm gonna teach you a real lesson now motherfucker. Put your fuckin' mouth on the curb
 
^I own that movie, but have not seen it in over 5 years. Back in high school when we first discovered it, I thought that movie was damn good and damn important. just here now it has been bumped up high on my "need to re-watch" list.
 
^Wow Everything that a woman finds attractive in a man right here. 8)

I was continuing to shrink, to become... what? The infinitesimal? What was I? Still a human being? Or was I the man of the future? If there were other bursts of radiation, other clouds drifting across seas and continents, would other beings follow me into this vast new world? So close - the infinitesimal and the infinite. But suddenly, I knew they were really the two ends of the same concept. The unbelievably small and the unbelievably vast eventually meet - like the closing of a gigantic circle. I looked up, as if somehow I would grasp the heavens. The universe, worlds beyond number, God's silver tapestry spread across the night. And in that moment, I knew the answer to the riddle of the infinite. I had thought in terms of Man's own limited dimension. I had presumed upon nature. That existence begins and ends is man's conception, not nature's. And I felt my body dwindling, melting, becoming nothing. My fears melted away and in their place came acceptance. All this vast majesty of creation, it had to mean something. And then I meant something, too. Yes, smaller than the smallest, I meant something, too. To God, there is no zero. I STILL EXIST!


The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)
 
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