Think back to when you were younger, did you feel like this when you were 10, 8, 5, 3? Don't you remember that you were once carefree and happy? Are you willing to throw away any chance of getting back there, and shed these problems onto those who you love for them to deal with? This too shall pass, your struggles are significant, yes, but they will not last forever. You may suffer for a long period of time but one day the pain will subside and you're the only one who can see this out to the end.
Can't you at least let yourself have a few more days, and try something radically different? Some of the resources here on blue light will make you see things from a different perspective.
You can PM me if you'd like someone to talk to, just know you're not alone.