Benzos Benzo wd right after sub wds and could use some help

[JackARoe]

Well, it's been another week and I feel absolutely amazing!!
......is what I wish I was saying

Man you keep that sense of humor and you will heal heal heal. Another 6 weeks you will never have to do again in this life.

Quick question OCD2DOC, when you were taking alprazolam daily did you know about dependence and withdrawal or did it sneak up on you. I know you said you were scripted but wondering if you went into this with your eyes open of just following doctors orders.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Man you keep that sense of humor and you will heal heal heal. Another 6 weeks you will never have to do again in this life.

Quick question OCD2DOC, when you were taking alprazolam daily did you know about dependence and withdrawal or did it sneak up on you. I know you said you were scripted but wondering if you went into this with your eyes open of just following doctors orders.

I sure hope so, JackARoe. I'm a lot better than when I started this thing, so I know I am healing even if it isn't in a linear fashion.
But yeah, keeping my sense of humor keeps me attached to some core of who I once was before I ever even got hooked on anything. I've been addicted to something most of my adult life, so that's long time to supress my intrinsic self.

Yeah, I knew benzos were addictive, and I knew wds weren't to be played with when I started the xanax.
What I didn't know is precisely how bad they were. I also definitely didn't know all the side effects from the use of xanax and the problems that can come from discontinuation.
Should I have known? Yeah I should've ( the information is out there), but you live and you learn I guess.

I can say with almost a 100% confidence I won't be taking them ever again.

 

[Nas47]

Congrats.fuck.hard are benzos.Can not to quitt fully benzos

 

[OCD2DOC]

Congrats.fuck.hard are benzos.Can not to quitt fully benzos

Thx again, Nas47.
yeah, I have to agree. Hard on many levels.
I believe getting to the point of being ready to kick could be the hardest part in terms of beating them, tho.
I mean once you have got on the roller coaster (are in the actual wds) your're just going for a ride you have no real control of, and the tendency of most people is to just accept they're going on a little trip whether they like it or not. The fear of the unexpected can play some real tricks on you mentally, though.
Don't get me wrong, the actual wds have their own set of contrivances that will assault you mentally. Having said that, I think you'll do yourself a big favor knowing what to expect and to have the gaba to help with those mental strikes.
That, and eating all the right things that your body needs to repair and rebuild whilst staying away from all the things that inhibit this.


Well, 5 weeks and another birthday in the books. I know for sure too many birthdays is going to necessarily kill me, I just hope the former doesn't get me first

I have to say I am feeling better. Definitely not out of the woods per se, but I am starting to notice the symptoms that are still lingering are really lessening in duration.

As far as intensity, they still can have quite a bite when they do hit.
I only had two days this week that I got 'attacked'. One was bad, and one was mild.
The mild one lasted couple hours in the morning, and the bad one was about 4-6 hours in the afternoon. With the rougher one I had a bad migraine, that specific to benzo wd neck pain/head pressure, and whole body restlessness ( feels like being plugged into a wall outlet). After an excedrin migraine and couple hours in the dark I pulled out of it, though.

The other days I was relatively symptom free. I read where other people say their wds take months, and I am hoping ( as far as I am concerned) they mean they had periodic symptoms during that time. This I believe I can deal with.

I guess it's always possible I could dip back into a few days at a time of wds, but if I had to guess I would say the to waxing and waning is beginning to fade.
I had something similar happen when I CT'd methadone.
It took me 3-6 months to be somewhat back to what I would call normal.
Honestly, I feel further along at the same point I am at now than when I did that wd.

I'll report back in another week and hopefully that report will continue to have improvement. My short-term goal was to be back functional by July/midsummer, and my long-term goal is to have a lot of the sides from the xanax reversed in this next year.
Fingers on both.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Quick update for the last week ( 6 weeks off benzo now)....
More of the same I guess. I had a rougher first part of the week, but the second half I have felt pretty good. When the waves hit they are mainly just anxiety and restlessness now.
Energy and stanima has improved some.
I've only had one headache in last 8 days, and it was mild and possibly allergy related.

Starting another week today. So far so good.
Looking forward to waking up one day and the waves be a distant memory.
I have a feeling the waves are going to go on for a bit longer tho.
At the point I am at now I feel anyone that makes it this far will be able to soldier on.

 

[Nas47]

Bravo!Good fight.You pass it.Never look back man.Only forward.Amen!

 

[vision conquest]

@OCD2DOC congratulations, I have read the thread from the begining and found it very helpful as I'm sure many will.

You have done something amazing and I am sorry to go kind of off topic but can I ask, you mention you came off methadone ct, how long were you on the program when you jumped.

 

[OCD2DOC]

@OCD2DOC congratulations, I have read the thread from the begining and found it very helpful as I'm sure many will.

You have done something amazing and I am sorry to go kind of off topic but can I ask, you mention you came off methadone ct, how long were you on the program when you jumped.

No worries, I don't mind answering questions in regards.
I was on Methadone twice. One time I wasn't on for long, tho. Few months or so. That time I went up to like 45 mg and weaned back down pretty quick then back on to pills for a few months and subsequently kicked those. I did us a little suboxone coming off the pills, but only for a couple weeks or so.

Second time was the real doozy. I got up to 80 mg and stayed on it for like close to 3 years.
I CT'd off that dose and it was absolutely hellish. I managd to stay clean for almost 3 years, and that was the the longest tperiod of sobriety in my life since I started using.
I learned my lesson about weaning down long half-life opiods, so when I did this suboxone jump I made sure to taper for couple months or so. If you (meaning you or anyone reading this) ever have to detox sub or methadone you will be wise to taper. Same for the benzos.
I cut thos strips into smallest little pieces I could. Wds from the subs wasn't all that bad all things considered. I thought I was going to get out a little easier this go around until I made the choice to cut the xanax. I just wasn't prepared for the benzo wds. Thank God for the gabapentin.

It's been an 8 week ordeal so far this go around ( will be the last go around, too) , but if I had to say which is harder from my personal experience I would say the methadone was harder than the xanax or suboxone.
Maybe if you combine the sub and xanax wds it would beat the methadone CT wds, but I'd say that's a close one.

All I know is I have had enough. Doing drugs just isn't fun anymore for me. I've outgrown them in terms of enjoying getting high. I'm no longer willing to pay the price it costs to get f'd up. Absolutely no part of me ever wants to use again. I can't say I have ever felt like that since I started doing drugs a very long time ago. Truly liberating.

Let me know if you have anymore specific questions.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Bravo!Good fight.You pass it.Never look back man.Only forward.Amen!

Thanks Nas47, I wholeheartedly appreciate the support!

 

[vision conquest]

No worries, I don't mind answering questions in regards.
I was on Methadone twice. One time I wasn't on for long, tho. Few months or so. That time I went up to like 45 mg and weaned back down pretty quick then back on to pills for a few months and subsequently kicked those. I did us a little suboxone coming off the pills, but only for a couple weeks or so.

Second time was the real doozy. I got up to 80 mg and stayed on it for like close to 3 years.
I CT'd off that dose and it was absolutely hellish. I managd to stay clean for almost 3 years, and that was the the longest ngest period of sobriety in my life since I started using.
I learned my lesson about weaning down long half-life opiods, so when I did this suboxone jump I made sure to taper for couple months or so. If you (meaning you or anyone reading this) ever have to detox sub or methadone you will be wise to taper. Same for the benzos.
I cut thos strips into smallest little pieces I could. Wds from the subs wasn't all that bad all things considered. I thought I was going to get out a little easier this go around until I made the choice to cut the xanax. I just wasn't prepared for the benzo wds. Thank God for the gabapentin.

It's been an 8 week ordeal so far this go around ( will be the last go around, too) , but if I had to say which is harder from my personal experience I would say the methadone was harder than the xanax or suboxone.
Maybe if you combine the sub and xanax wds it would beat the methadone CT wds, but I'd say that's a close one.

All I know is I have had enough. Doing drugs just isn't fun anymore for me. I've outgrown them in terms of enjoying getting high. I'm no longer willing to pay the price it costs to get f'd up. Absolutely no part of me ever wants to use again. I can't say I have ever felt like that since I started doing drugs a very long time ago. Truly liberating.

Let me know if you have anymore specific questions.

Thanks for your reply and for following this thread through.

I have been on methadone for 22 years straight so not sure if I well ever come off.

I am down to a low dose, 35mg and don't feel it has any negetive effect on my life other than the fact that I can't take off on the spur of the moment.

I know exactly what you mean about just being over it, I am in a similar place.

Again congratulations and keep marching forward mate.

 

[Señor Moreno]

No worries, I don't mind answering questions in regards.
I was on Methadone twice. One time I wasn't on for long, tho. Few months or so. That time I went up to like 45 mg and weaned back down pretty quick then back on to pills for a few months and subsequently kicked those. I did us a little suboxone coming off the pills, but only for a couple weeks or so.

Second time was the real doozy. I got up to 80 mg and stayed on it for like close to 3 years.
I CT'd off that dose and it was absolutely hellish. I managd to stay clean for almost 3 years, and that was the the longest tperiod of sobriety in my life since I started using.
I learned my lesson about weaning down long half-life opiods, so when I did this suboxone jump I made sure to taper for couple months or so. If you (meaning you or anyone reading this) ever have to detox sub or methadone you will be wise to taper. Same for the benzos.
I cut thos strips into smallest little pieces I could. Wds from the subs wasn't all that bad all things considered. I thought I was going to get out a little easier this go around until I made the choice to cut the xanax. I just wasn't prepared for the benzo wds. Thank God for the gabapentin.

It's been an 8 week ordeal so far this go around ( will be the last go around, too) , but if I had to say which is harder from my personal experience I would say the methadone was harder than the xanax or suboxone.
Maybe if you combine the sub and xanax wds it would beat the methadone CT wds, but I'd say that's a close one.

All I know is I have had enough. Doing drugs just isn't fun anymore for me. I've outgrown them in terms of enjoying getting high. I'm no longer willing to pay the price it costs to get f'd up. Absolutely no part of me ever wants to use again. I can't say I have ever felt like that since I started doing drugs a very long time ago. Truly liberating.

Let me know if you have anymore specific questions.

So you CTed 80 mds methadone some time ago and now you quit suboxone and xanax toguether?
You are a true warrior, mate.
All my respect.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Thanks for your reply and for following this thread through.

I have been on methadone for 22 years straight so not sure if I well ever come off.

I am down to a low dose, 35mg and don't feel it has any negetive effect on my life other than the fact that I can't take off on the spur of the moment.

I know exactly what you mean about just being over it, I am in a similar place.

Again congratulations and keep marching forward mate.

No problem, and thanks you for the encouragement.
I decided to continue updating this thread when I noticed while searching for benzo wd stories that not many people followed up with how their experience turned out. I guess you could look it it two ways, they either didn't make it or healed up and went on with their life. My guess is their is a fair amount on both sides.

I know how it is to be on methadone. You definitely are tethered to your clinic.
That's something I think everyone on methadone hates. What I didn't really like was how it made me emotionless and how the days just seem to blurr by.
That's one of the biggest things you'll notice coming off methadone or suboxone ( even more if you were doing benzos along with) is time seems to slow down. I woke up at dawn this weekend and went fishing with a buddy for a couple hours. I came home did some work in my garage, showered, and did some stuff inside all before 11:30 a.m. I was like, holy shit what am I going to do with the rest of my day?

But yeah, I understand the feeling that you may need to stay on a low maintenance dose. I'm not really here to persuade you one way or the other.
Having said that, if you do ever decide to stop the methadone I would definitely taper and maybe use some Kratom for the first few days to take the edge off the wds.

I know you've been on the methadone for quite some time now, but I firmly believe the wds are worsened by abruptly stopping and not necessarily the duration you've been on the methadone. It's entirely possible the duration of your wds my be a little longer the longer you've been on it, but as far as intensity I think that is directly proportional to coming off the methadone slowly/weaning all the way down to less than 5 mg. That's my two cents anyways.

 

[OCD2DOC]

So you CTed 80 mds methadone some time ago and now you quit suboxone and xanax toguether?
You are a true warrior, mate.
All my respect.

Yeah, I got some war stories and mental scars that's for sure 8)
I will say one thing tho, the old saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger rings true.
After going through this last round of intense round of wds the little things that used to trigger my anxiety ( reason I generally self-medicated) don't seem to be that big of a deal these days.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Been a couple weeks since last update. 8 weeks off benzos and 10 weeks off subs.
Improving slowly but surely. Duration and intensity still varying, but progress is coming bi-weekly.

Looking back I was better at 4 weeks than 2 weeks, 6 weeks than 4 weeks, and now 8 weeks than 6 weeks. I know a lot of people report their symptoms go on for months and even years, but I bet if you investigated they've seen improvement relatively speaking.
Still yet, it's for sure a roller coaster ride up and down through hell.
I'm sure the suboxone wds haven't helped the dips down into the belly of the beast.
I can distinguish the sub wds from the xanax wds, though. Benzo wds are very specific.

These benzos wds are tricky. When a wave hits you can feel as if your starting all over again, but I can definitely feel the healing in the periods directly after and in between waves. The windows seem to laster longer and longer now. I'm having a little easier time pushing through the waves.

Overall I'm feeling ok. Symptoms are still fatigue, agitation, and general mild benzo wd symptoms early in the morning. Couple hours of head ring, ringing ears, light sensitivity, and that specific to benzo wd head pressure/headache ( been through benzo wd you know what I mean) are the big ones. Good news is symptoms do subside after a couple hours of when they hit ( generally early or late) . I believe the longest it has lasted in last couple weeks was 8 hours. That was a bad day. I had like 4 good days following that, so I'm definitely not complaining.
I'll continue to report back.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Well, dammit. I was cruising along feeling halfway normal this week and last night out of nowhere I got hit by a train pulling a load of Mack trucks.
I was like what the hell, this can't be starting all over again?!
I started just feeling worse and worse through the night and a cough developed.
I knew most likely what it was, and I was correct.... covid

Went to doctor this morning and didn't really do much of anything.
I guees I'm going to ride it out on the couch smh...

Anybody else recently had ( or know someone that has) the vid in last few weeks?
I'd be curious to know if anything helps, and possibly what strain is floating around.
Right now I have a small dry cough, fatigue, headache, and bit of a temperature.
I trust this site more than any other, and I appreciate in advance if anyone does happen to have any advice.
Sub wd, benzo wd, and now corona....oh man, I'm batting a 1000

 

[Xorkoth]

Covid shouldn't be too bad, this omicron variant is much less severe for pretty much everyone. I have had it twice, the first time was the alpha variant (the original). I got really sick that time, it sucked. The second time, it was like having a moderately bad cold, except it went away faster than most colds I've had. I felt kinda shitty for a couple of days and then a little under the weather for another day or two. Ibuprofen helps with the aches, and just relaxing and resting. Not really sure there's anything else you can do. Just be thankful it wasn't a resurgence of withdrawal, that would have been far worse.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Well, I'm already feeling better. I had a really rough last 18 hours though.
All day fever and headache that never left. Only relief I got was about 30 minutes after I would take an excedrin. I'm positive it was the omicron variant.
My neighbor I was around had it at the same time. He didn't have the high fever like me, tho. He is having a couple other minor issues I didn't have. I'd say since most all my symptoms already gone that the high fever/strong immune response helped. My fever broke about 3 this morning and I knew I was out the woods.
I know with the original Covid a high immune response is what made it so dangerous, so definitely glad I didn't get that variant.
Anywho, thx for the reply.

 

[JackARoe]

Hopefully Covid is passed and you came out yet even stronger OCD. I think when a person is kicking anything it takes so much energy their immune system is affected. But that is just part of the body healing and getting stronger.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Hopefully Covid is passed and you came out yet even stronger OCD. I think when a person is kicking anything it takes so much energy their immune system is affected. But that is just part of the body healing and getting stronger.

Thanks for checking on me, JackARoe. Covid kicked my arse for about 5-6 days.
I'm better now. 12 days later and almost back to normal.
Definitely kicked my wds back in, tho.
I didn't sleep more than 3-4 hours for a week.
Hopefully I'll pick back up where Ieft off before covid now that the symptoms are gone.
I was feeling pretty good before this plague hit.

I've got a few months behind me now , so I'm definitely counting the days off anymore.
I think I'm little over 3 months off the benzos now and almost 4 months off the subs.
Still no desire to use either. I'll continue to post progress.
Hope you and everyone else that's been keeping up with this thread are doing well

 

[Señor Moreno]

How are things going, mate?
Is the fuckery 100% over?