Being sober gets easier with time. I've been using drugs (and/or alcohol) on a daily basis for 20+ years. Recently - over the past couple of years - I have been learning to moderate. At first, it seemed impossible... but that's just an illusion. That is your addiction tricking you into feeling helpless so you keep using.
Sobriety is actually great and drugs are better, too, when you're not relying on them to escape from the reality of your sober life... because that's not healthy.
Life shouldn't be too hard to cope with when you're sober. If drugs are being used like that, they are preventing you from being happy without them.
I definitely needed to self-medicate when I was younger, but I don't need it (as much) now. My addiction - and my fear of sobriety - stems from trauma now. It is the remnant of the man I once was... and it is time to shed it.
The process of removing yourself from an addiction can take years. With opiates, it is often lifelong.
Don't underestimate how clever your addiction is.
Take your time. Making progress one excruciating step at a time (even if you also take two steps backwards) is better than giving up because you can't sprint to the finish line.
Remember, withdrawals distort reality. During the peak of withdrawals is when you are the most vulnerable... and your addiction knows this.
Don't trust yourself emotionally when withdrawing. Easier said than done, I know. Last time I withdrew from benzos I had very strong suicidal ideation and I'm not a suicidal person. Two days later, I looked back and thought WTF but it seemed so real at the time.
Try to remember: these feelings will pass.
Sobriety is honestly like a drug. I have been on drugs for so long, that it feels alien to me... and it feels good. I feel healthier. I am more engaged with people. I am happier. I honestly think I enjoy it as much as a drug, but there is still that association I built for decades telling me that drugs are recreational and sobriety isn't.
Life is more important than drugs. Drugs - like television - are a luxury that we don't need to be happy. We think these things make us happy, but do they?
Daily (heavy) use of anything becomes miserable after a while... but (since dissecting my addiction problems) I realize that this extends beyond drugs. We are - all - addicted to technology. This shouldn't be overlooked in terms of sobriety. I look at screens (computers / phones / TV) because that's where I get my dopamine hits. Again, I associate this with happiness but I actually prefer doing almost anything physical and/or with people IRL.
Modern technology has the same function as drugs. Escapism.
I realize now that I don't want to want to escape.
I have started working on moderating technology in my life. This (like learning to moderate my drug/alcohol use) is probably going to take me years, but that's okay. If that's how long it takes, it is what it is. I can wait.
@ChemicallyEnhanced
TL/DR: I wouldn't have believed this if somebody said to me ten years ago, but sobriety isn't so bad.
