ruraltiger
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 26, 2014
- Messages
- 9
So last night I took probably around 200mg of MDMA orally. It was a group of 5 of us and everyone else had a pretty good time.
However, my experience was very strange compared to the other 3 times I've ever done it. I sat chatting to others for a good while and then felt a little something, a bit like coming up. It felt floaty and nice but nowhere near the usual euphoric state I get into. In contrast to the usual, very chatty state I get into, I was very withdrawn giving one word answers and just listening to everyone else. I took mine around an hour after everyone else so I'm guessing this next effect happened around an hour and a half after ingesting it as it was not too long before others' comedowns. It felt nothing like a comedown as it was nowhere near as significant or slow as usual. I suddenly bawled my eyes out for a good hour and started getting dark thoughts... I had hallucinations (like I usually do) but this time they included a scream mask charging at me a bit like a dementor, for example. There isn't really anything repressed in my mind that I could be upset about.
This morning most of the dark thoughts have gone but I still feel very low. Other than that I don't really feel anything that I would do the following day (I feel hungry, skin to skin contact which usually feels especially nice just feels normal to me).
I am very curious as to what this could be. I took it 2 and a half weeks ago so could it be that my serotonin hasn't sorted itself out yet? Another thought is that maybe I didn't take enough?
However, my experience was very strange compared to the other 3 times I've ever done it. I sat chatting to others for a good while and then felt a little something, a bit like coming up. It felt floaty and nice but nowhere near the usual euphoric state I get into. In contrast to the usual, very chatty state I get into, I was very withdrawn giving one word answers and just listening to everyone else. I took mine around an hour after everyone else so I'm guessing this next effect happened around an hour and a half after ingesting it as it was not too long before others' comedowns. It felt nothing like a comedown as it was nowhere near as significant or slow as usual. I suddenly bawled my eyes out for a good hour and started getting dark thoughts... I had hallucinations (like I usually do) but this time they included a scream mask charging at me a bit like a dementor, for example. There isn't really anything repressed in my mind that I could be upset about.
This morning most of the dark thoughts have gone but I still feel very low. Other than that I don't really feel anything that I would do the following day (I feel hungry, skin to skin contact which usually feels especially nice just feels normal to me).
I am very curious as to what this could be. I took it 2 and a half weeks ago so could it be that my serotonin hasn't sorted itself out yet? Another thought is that maybe I didn't take enough?