In other forums, when people ask questions about trying heroin or just trying heroin, the majority of the thread becomes about stopping while you can, about heroin is a terrible idea, etc. Well, the fact that the op's poly-drug use always turns negative, sometimes very negative, I think it's my duty to step in here. Poly-drug use, especially escalating this fast, with the outcomes like the OP's, is a recipe for disaster and this is an HR forum.
I've seen a lot of people get chewed up by drug use when they tried to 'force it,' for lack of a better term. I saw it a lot of in the first year of college, and though Lauren might not be there, I think she is doing something similar. Either way, at her age people start experimenting with drugs, a lot. It becomes one of the cool things to do. A lot of people really like them, but a lot of people really don't like them and move on. Every once in awhile you get someone who all their friends like 'em, but they do not.
I've never seen
anything good come from people trying to like drugs when they don't. I know it's hard and I don't blame a lot of people who tend to do this. Peer pressure, even indirect, is very powerful at 18.
I saw so many kids move from one substance to the next and try most everything, hoping that the next drug they do is the one they'll like. They brave panic attacks, serious mental and physical issues, and even legal problems amongst many others, just to be associated with the drug culture. I've also seen so many kids compromise their own beliefs as well, and in the end of the day, that can be just as devastating.
It's sad to see when it is so glaringly obvious what the problem is. I'll take whatever heat people throw at me, but I'm sticking to my guns. Lauren, for the sake of HR, you should stop using before things get out of hand. Even if you don't you should at least slow down. I applaud you for seeking help on BL, but too many times your posts are about the issues AFTER you've partaken, not before. The times when it is before you usually get a fair amount of warnings that you don't heed. You wrote that you had a terrible comedown the first time you did MDMA, then someone told you it would only get worse the more you do, now you're surprised you are having such a negative reaction? These negative reactions are really serious too. Some of the weird feelings you talk about, like not being able to separate out reality, the inability to control your emotions, your super anxiety, and the physical side effects you report is a really big deal (
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/696315-Weird-feelings-thoughts) I'm not belittling you, and if it sounds like that, I apologize. I'm just trying to point out the obvious warning signs that you should look for.
I know you just started college and want to fit in, but don't succumb to this indirect peer pressure. You're too old for that. The adverse effects from using are potentially fatal. Don't let drugs ruin college for you.
Drugs are not a game. When you first start, they're so fun, and people have yet to do serious damage to themselves. Sure there are a few people who've done stupid things, and there are stories going around, but shit gets real when you start to see what drug use becomes. When you start to see the dark side of stuff, you'll start to understand more. The stuff you're dealing with, and most likely the stuff you've seen, is nothing compared to what can happen. To use a metaphor: You don't like the water and you're diving into the deep end headfirst, even though you can barely swim.
Please don't be mad. I'm trying to help you. So far you've experienced some serious mental and physical side-effects and you just started with the drugs. Think about the consequences of what you're doing. This is literally a deadly game you're playing... and based on what I read, the only logical HR tips is for you to slow the f@%* down. My only other HR tip for you if you're still going to use is to stop taking such big doses. They aren't huge and I know all your friends are taking the doses you talk about, but you're not your friends. You obviously are very sensitive and you are new to this stuff.
