I gotta contribute, this thread is priceless.
Almost half a year ago during her spring semester I was visiting my now fiance at her (at the time) chosen educational institution in upstate New York. The college in question has one end-of-the-year rager where they allow public drinking, huge outdoor partying, whatever. The campus police are present but are VERY chill. Basically it became a crowd of several thousand kids in a field by a lake getting absolutely trashed and creating a sort of floating dubstep concert barge on the lake. There was also a police horse that was quickly surrounded by fucked up kids who wanted to pet it. That was awkward for the cop, I could tell even from a distance (on A LOT of super clean doses). Anyway, we got off the dubstep barge after having our lives significantly improved by Flux Pavilion's remix of Gold Dust, and were laying under an enormous old elm and chain smoking cigarettes and peaking. And for some reason we got involved in the trunk of the tree and forgot how to use a lighter, I can't even remember what the train of thought was very clearly, but it involved very sexual elves living in the tree and us crawling around in worship. This dissolved into laughter and then into perma-grin sobbing and falling in the grass trying to stand. About this time a female campus cop came upon us. I dropped my cig on her foot, grabbed it, and looked up like a child, making eye contact with tears pouring down my face and eyes like saucers. My fiance was topless. The cop gave this look of amusement and complete understanding, and then asked us about the tree. We explained its otherworldly beauty. Then my fiance's friend explained that we had to be sure the tree didn't go anywhere. The campus cop laughed in our faces, lit our cigarettes, returned our lighter, and explained that she would be just over the next hill and would apprehend the wayward tree if it did in fact evade us.
It became a wonderful, wonderful day.