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Opioids As many of you know I have been absent

I'm confused. So your methadone clinic kicked you out cause the VA was supposed to provide care? Then why in gods name isn't the VA providing a taper? If they aren't willing to do so why didn't the clinic taper you?

You're not supposed to switch from doses that high of methadone to bupe. You are supposed to be at 30 mgs or less. I'm sure you're aware of this, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around how they just flippantly put you in such a situation. And I have detoxed methadone both cold turkey and tapered. As for cold turkey, it's not quite as intense as heroin wd but it's so long lasting. It took about 2 weeks to feel half normal and 32 days to feel human. The RLS is bad as is the fatigue , but the GI isn't quite as bad. Still it's not fun and I'm not understanding why you're not pushing them to taper you (either the clinic or the VA). Contact a methadone advocate of necessary. You should NOT be going through this.

I will say though, if you avoid the fent RC and hang in there, the absolute worst is over. It will very slowly improve. If you can't take subs till the second week of wd, I would honestly say screw getting onto another maintenance regimen. If you make it two weeks just hang in. It'll improve.
 
It's not a bad idea to get on the RC fent.. make it last like 2 weeks.. the withdrawals are pretty brutal but quick. u can knock yourself out with xanax for 2 days, and its pretty much over.. and by then your subs will be perfect.
U will have a nice 2 weeks, then u can switch to subs.
its not as bad as everyone says..
i was on BF for like 3 months straight.. doing a gram every 5 days. and it lasts way longer than real fent.. and its about 10 times more euphoric.. totally different drug IMO
 
namnoc16 said:
I went to prison for 1 month on 60mg methadone maintenance and full wds after a month is not exaggeration. To me methadone wasn't as intense wd as say the first week of heroin wd(not much better) but it lasts forever(seemingly). Your body is covered in a nasty layer of oily sweat even if it's cold,no sleeping at all,and the feeling of your soul being sucked from your body. It's horrible and I am so sorry to see a person I truly respect an admire going through this.
MD I hope things get better for you soon. I'm sure you already know this but will state it anyway,your BP can get dangerously high or if your not keeping hydrated(when I was had methadone wds didn't want to drink anything) it can get dangerously low. Go to a clinic or local doctors office and get some clonidine it will make you feel somewhat better but it could also save you from stroking out(due to BP).
You are a tough dude MD don't you forget that and draw from that inner strength that I know you have and have seen shine through while you were helping others!
Click to expand...

Precisely MD!
I've also come off methadone. Have done it last February.
I've experienced withdrawal for almost a month. And was depressed for quite sometime.
I did not think I was going to make it.
But this inner strength namnoc mentioned is real. And you can do this.
Make sure you go to a clinic so you can be medicated accordingly.
Good luck!
 
All valid points only problem this had to happen over the holidays, no doctors are in house to make decisions they all on vacation so I went to the ER last night cause I could not walk move or speak properly. I hate that it came to this but they gave me 12 mg IV morphine push and I feel SO much better even still today I am up and about. Is that it? Or is the morphine still in my system ready to beat me back into methadone submission?
 
Mad Dash i remember you posting in one of my previous threads, I'm sorry to here you've been in such bad shape. As bad as you think it may be, it gets better. I'm feeling much better today than 2 days ago. That night, I had an intense cravings to use at around midnight. I tried finding friends to talk to, but almost all of them were sleeping. I found one who wasn't, but was extremely high and trying to sleep so I'd only get short answers. I, being in an emotional state I can't explain from withdrawals (but I'm sure you know), I took those short answers the wrong way. I didn't know she was high, I thought she hated me for some reason for relapsing. She cut me off to go to sleep, and I took that as a loss of a friend. I couldn't get it in myself to wake anyone else up, I was already so low I felt like scum on earth and a burden to everyone who was trying to help me. I used that night, and it made all those symptoms ten times worse. The depression, loneliness, feeling like I'm a burden. All were intensified.

I wanted to kill myself so badly that night. So you know what I did? After smoking the amount of heroin I'd normally smoke, I snorted some more. And before the snorted heroin hit me I smoked even more. I then threw the rest out. I wouldn't need it, I wasn't planning on waking back up. I wanted to tell my friends goodbye and thankyou before I OD'd. I was only able to type "goodbye" before I passed out on the floor. I don't know how I didn't overdose and die that night. Call or a Christmas miracle or whatever, I have no clue. But I woke up that morning, and albeit still pretty down I was so happy that it didn't kill me. I can't even explain how happy I was that I had lived. Even while passing out I still wanted to die, but I was also mad at myself I wasn't able to say thankyou to my friends. Think about the things you'll never get to do or say.

It's kind of a long post, but what I'm saying is I've been there. I'm in a better place now I think, but I've literally experienced those suicidal thoughts and I even gave in to them, and it isn't something you should do too. Don't make the mistake I made.
 
I don't think I am going to do that I just want the pain to go away. I was doing so much better on the methadone and then this happened I even had a job and was making good money. FUCK.
 
Mad Dash, I know you are suffering in pain that I can't imagine right now. It will pass. It may be awhile, but it will all work out. Pain is weakness leaving the body. You are tough guy Mad Dash. Remember that. Too many people like you more than you know. We plain care about you. You are a kick ass Mod. This is a set back. Soon, life will be back on track. We will pray and support you all the way. This is the Mad Dash thread. It's time we continue to band together and help one of our own out. May it be constant words of support, prayers, an ear to hear vents and complaints, or even sourcing, links to help for him. Mad, buddy, any time you want to talk or vent, or whatever, PM me. Any time you want support in real time, you post here or wherever you post, or PM me and I will drop everything when possible for you. That is all I can offer atm, but it's yours. Speed King
 
Hey man, just letting you know my thoughts are with you and your situation.
You have provided so many people with advice in rapid time here on BL, and I am sure you will get the help you need sooner than you think.
Until then lean on us here, we don't want you feeling like you are alone in any way.

SL
 
Hey Mad, Ive been following along. I'm kinda new here but know you from just hanging out. Ive been down the road. Ive been to the edge and know how you are feeling. Right now I'm on the safe side and that could change tomorrow it's how we live. But lots of people here support you and need you. I'm sending you prayers and words of encouragement. I know you will find your way and get through this, I wish I could take it away.

Please hang in man "WE NEED YOU"

Hang in there man we need your help.

VMC
 
Was wondering where you been MadDash. I'm very sympathetic to your situation and I've read most of your other series stories about the military and PTSD and what not. Hang in there man. You are strong.
 
Don't know where in VA you're living, but i grew up in NOVA. Used to head into anacostia to cop. Could always find spit-back at the very least. Hope you feel better soon.
 
If you could get some Nuerotinin (brand name Gabapentin) or Pregabalin ( Lyrica) I found out with staggered doses they get rid of 90% of WD symptoms. I had a 5-6 80mg Oxy habit a day smoked for a few years and one time had no subs but ended up with some gabapentins and followed people's instructions on the best way to get the most out of them and suffered almost no symptoms. I know how much WDs suck, I've had my body covered in 2nd and 3rd degree burns, people would always ask about the scars that they left all over and to me I'd rather get burned again than go through WDs again. I'm surprised the VA doesn't have anything better to give you, but getting Gabapentin shouldn't be too hard I never have a problem finding it. Another thing that helped me feel better temporarily was beer just 1 or 2. Good luck
 
Mad Dash, I hope you are doing better and managed to get some Gaba or Pregaba or comfort meds. I just wanted to add my support and wish you a better New Year.
 
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