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Heroin Any way to stop cravings/temptation?

Leading a double life is exhausting. I did it for two years. Not a day went by that i wasn't terrified that today would be tbe day i would get caught. Not to mention feeling guilty all of the time for being a big fat lying drug addict! When i finally did get caught the 2nd time it was a relief and gave me the push i needed to go get help. You dont have to do bad things to your family in order to break their hearts just being a drug addict in itself is enough to do the job. I never did anything to my family but the constant worrying and wondering where they went wrong is enough. As a parent you wonder what did i do to make her like this. If i had done this differently maybe things would be different. It very embarrassing when you get caught. I was at tbe point where i would rather die than get caught because i felt so much shame. However, i wouldn't kill myself bc that would only break their hearts more. You would be surprised how forgiving and supportive people can be when you think they will not love you anymore. I couldn't have been more wrong and wish i had gone to my family earlier instead of being to embarrassed. No one is perfect.
 
shadowstryker said:
No, the way junkies are portrayed I wouldn't consider myself one.


All of that is actually really helpful, thanks. I find that not only do I crave it, but any time something bad happens (such as my car breaking down) I use that as an excuse to use, so I'll have to find a way around that as well.


I know the cravings are powerful and all, but I can't see myself hurting my family intentionally regardless of how bad my addiction gets. I'd probably be homeless before I let myself start doing anything like that. I also don't think I'm at a point where I need to go get help though, I feel like there's a chance I could handle it myself still. Also same thing as the original thread, I can't even imagine what my family would think of me if they found out.
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Not many of us want to hurt their family intentionally but once you become addicted you are not the same person anymore. It changes the way you think and it makes you justify doing bad things to good people. It turns you into a cancer and you will eat up all that his good and healthy in your life. If I thought for one second you could get around all of the bad stuff that comes with an addiction I'd supply you with the instructions but I promise you once you become addicted there is no getting around the pain that you will cause yourself and everyone you care about. The pain addiction causes is always included in the package there is no way around it. I keep posting back to your threads is because I desperately want to spare you from this but at the same time I know most of us need to learn the hard way. I was warned by many people and to me the warnings were like hearing Charlie Browns teacher"Whaa,Whaa,Whaa, Whaa" because we all think we are smarter then that and can handle what others couldn't because they were just weaker then us. It's not an intellectual thing or a willpower thing it is a disease,could you control cancer if you had it
 
namnoc16 said:
You are trying to control the uncontrollable! I said it in previous thread and it's an AA/NA staple(if not fact) admitting you are powerless over this substance.
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I'd either admit myself for an inpatient detox or see a doctor for outpatient detox, and I'll probably catch hell for saying this, but get to a NA meeting and find someone you like with a lot of clean time and ask them to be your sponsor. This is coming from a recovering alcoholic who resisted AA for many years until I got sick of relapsing and had to admit that just trying not to drink on my own wasn't working.
 
aihfl said:
I'd either admit myself for an inpatient detox or see a doctor for outpatient detox, and I'll probably catch hell for saying this, but get to a NA meeting and find someone you like with a lot of clean time and ask them to be your sponsor. This is coming from a recovering alcoholic who resisted AA for many years until I got sick of relapsing and had to admit that just trying not to drink on my own wasn't working.
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You won't catch hell for saying that because many of us have much respect for AA/NA and realize their help is invaluable. I myself no longer go the meetings and feel they aren't a necessity for sobriety but for some they are!
 
shadowstryker said:
I know the cravings are powerful and all, but I can't see myself hurting my family intentionally regardless of how bad my addiction gets. I'd probably be homeless before I let myself start doing anything like that. I also don't think I'm at a point where I need to go get help though, I feel like there's a chance I could handle it myself still. Also same thing as the original thread, I can't even imagine what my family would think of me if they found out.
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Eh...I couldn't learn from other peoples mistakes either, had to make my own too. Ima be a nerd and explain it to u if u saw lord of the rings...Your a happy hobbit, then you find a treasure* that makes u happy..Then it slowly fucking consumes you and you turn into golem... #1 Your on the path to shooting up #2 You will* lose all of your real friends #3 You will hurt your family, and you wont even realize how bad until you have done a terrible amount of damage. #4 No one ever thinks they will be a junky or lose everything. #5 You don't believe a word of this, which is fine.. none of us did, at least you realize you have a problem that's a start. #6 Good luck, and stay as safe as you can don't share rigs or equipment*...aye and jail is worse than rehab, you'll eventually go to one or the other unless u are the .001% which might be you.... just kidding, everyone thinks their special. Really though, take care of yourself...people like us make life harder than what it really is. Give yourself a break before it gets worse than you can imagine.
 
Unfortunately i made the mistake of buying more today as I am about to run out. Although in my defense the reason I used today is because I was in a accident and needed the pain killing properties of it rather than just the recreational properties.

I'm really sorry that most of your posts/advice was in vain (although not all of them), as well as my attempt to reach out. I guess I'm just not ready to make a step towards quitting yet...
 
At least , early in your using, you know you can reach out and there are others who have been there and completely understand that. So when the shit hits the fan down the road, you know where you can get solid advice / help

I wasn't ready for a long time either. My family found out I used when my dad found me one morning blue after using and getting a fentanyl laced bag and ODing in my childhood bedroom. Was home for the summer from college--21 years old. I didn't stop then either.


Opiates make us feel good-- and your brain will tell you anything to rationalize you giving it more of the good stuff. Until eventually the consequences become so bad you have to quit in spite of yourself.

Listen to yourself. You didn't use cause you were sore from an accident. You used cause you want to feel that blissful opiate nothingness.

Most of us know you're not going to understand until you spiral down. Yet you are a young intelligent person and we see ourselves at an early stage of use--one where we wish we could go back and know then what we know now--and we are trying to save you from yourself. We clearly see where you are and what's coming and try to tell you. But no one really gets it until they've been there. Ask yourself though-- have we not been spot on so far??

It really isn't too late for you to achieve your dreams :)

One other thing I did to stop -- I would plan out a day to use when I had nothing else to do , like a Saturday at end of week. Then when that came i would find a reason not to, and push it back to a different day... Back then I had like a 2 hr ride to go cop. Basically I lied to my craving brain lol. But by doing thAt I wouldn't crave all week cause I would think I was going Saturday... Sounds dumb but it helped with the cravings. My own version of a day at a time lol
 
crzydiamond said:
At least , early in your using, you know you can reach out and there are others who have been there and completely understand that. So when the shit hits the fan down the road, you know where you can get solid advice / help
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I still say get to a meeting when you are ready.

crzydiamond said:
You didn't use cause you were sore from an accident. You used cause you want to feel that blissful opiate nothingness.
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When I was actively drinking and taking pain meds, I used anything as an excuse. If I was having a great day, it was time to celebrate with wine and a percocet. If I was having a bad day, it was time to have some wine and percocet to make myself numb. It wasn't until I had destroyed my career, finances and marriage that I finally saw the writing on the wall. We all have to hit our bottom and I hope for your sake your bottom is much higher than mine.
 
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