Hi
So I found this thread because I have been medically diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and am curious about having a DMT experience.
The reason why I want to try it is to have a breakthrough experience. My illness manifests itself into me perceiving 'cosmic' coincidences in my life that seem to guide me, also I have visual hallucinatory phenomena that is of the same kind of thing, and I also hear other people's voices / hallucinate their thoughts audio-way. Basically I am super interested in the shamanic point of view, because sometimes the coincidences get so freaking crazy that the divine (for lack of a better, more humble word) nature of them seems undeniable. Also I have figured that the voices I hear / thoughts of others that I perceive is something like me being able to talk or rather have an information exchange with their subconsciousness without them knowing. But the scenarios I perceive often contradict themselves, so I tend to get sceptical when they do. When this happens, I enter a phase were I completely deny the existence of higher powers. But my mind is usually not satisfied with this because I realize how bizarre life really is and how we have no explanation for the existence of it (I am also heavily into science and stuff). DMT seems to me like it could be some kind of a powerful insight into the 'divine-theory' of my hallucinatory experiences. It could provide an answer to the question "So are our lives special in a divine way?", which is actually the catalyst for me getting back into the psychotic crazy mode most of the time, since the answer is unknown. This theist-atheist on-off game is driving my life now. Ehh. Humans live in the extremes.
What do you guys think?
Btw, I got my schizophrenia induced by cannabis. I have a vivid and alive imagination by nature, but cannabis seems to have turned on an automatic engine in my imagination, which drives the psychotic experiences. It's like having another being in your mind, which cannot be terminated even if you can genuinely understand all the evidence for it's non-existence. One person here put it really on-point - it's like having your subconsciousness rebelling against your normal consciousness. A lot of the psychotic visions and stuff comes from psychological reasons as well (insecurities in my case). The others are just fantasy being manifested in a weirdly automatic and intense way.