Any full recovery stories from a single night of E-abuse/bad E?

[Jerry_999]

Hey guys, approx 15 weeks ago i had the most traumatic experience of my life. Im 19 years old about 180, going through uni and i decided to go to a rave. I had an energy drink, about five-six shots worth of vodka right in a row, and ended up buying and taking a cap of what I believed to be molly at the show about 30 mins later. I had done ex about 8-10 times prior to this experience, but nothing compared to what this felt like. It was WAY too intense! after the show I kept hearing the music in my head over and over and over again, I had crazy anxiety on the ride home, and I just wanted it to stop. The next day my head was RINGING, my anxiety/fear was still running super high, my heart would NOT stop racing, I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I spent all night searching the internet for ex overdoses etc. I just wanted it to stop.

Fast - forward 15 weeks and im doing MUCH BETTER. I think i battled through an episode of depression, (took st. johns wort), what i think was depresionalization/derealism, and im doing fine in school. I had been drinking on and off (off at the moment)(a couple of binges that FUCKED me up for a while), ive smoked weed ONCE (was an occasional user before incident), and ive smoked tobacco sparsely. However, I recently went home for thanksgiving and my anxiety came back for a couple days, but now it seems to have gone away. I still have some lingering "spaceyness" or "cloudy" mind, i feel like im awkward around other people, my sleeping schedule is all out of whack, but most of all it seems that my life has become somewhat centered around this incident, I constantly think about how i feel and if i will get any better, how i let down my parents who gave me their unending support, and how my life will play out if this effect is permanent (causes MUCH ANXIETY/FEAR) There are times, like now, where i feel almost myself again and happy.

My questions to yall are - Do you think I will ever make a FULL RECOVERY? If there is anyone out there that has made a full recovery, how long did it take you?

My regards, luck, to FBC, who has greatly helped me with this.

 

[laugh]

yes you will make a full recovery. look after yourself (eat well, sleep well, and exercise) and try not to stress or think about it too much. focus on your study not on a cap you ate 15+ weeks ago.

I kept hearing the music in my head over and over and over again

typical stim comedown / 'psychosis'

i bet there was something else besides mdma in that cap. somesort of stimulant could of been anything with all the shit floating around these days.

test your gear before eating random caps at raves.

play a little safer in the future. all the best.

 

[Dawglaw]

You will be fine. Might take a long time but one day you will forget it even happened. Been exactly 6 months and my derealization is finally fading away. I remember people telling me that I had to wait six months, it was overwhelming. Don't worry it goes by quickly. Keep busy and stay positive.

 

[dezz]

I hear "music" in my head all the time after taking E. How is this strictly related to other stimulants? MDMA can be overwhelming aswell, and believe it or not, can cause anxiety...
From 16 to 19 years old is about the age when people who have anxiety issues start having to face up to them.

Theres a real possibility that you triggered it and screwed yourself over. 18 is the excact time when I got a panic attack for the first time. Same story with my dad, and my grandfather, and I'm pretty sure they didn't take drugs. Anxiety that lasts that long isn't a reaction caused by drugs, it's YOU. Derealization is more often a RESULT of anxiety then a disorder by itself. However the effects can give you more anxiety so the cycle continues.

The fact that you think you are happy and over it is a very good sign and shows that you can think your way out of this, asking on this forum however isn't a good idea. The thing is, the more you think about these kinds of problems, the worse they will become. I suggest you accept that this is happening to you, STOP fussing about it, stop reading about it and FORGET it. Only then will it fade away, you are the exact same person before that drug experience, you just have a different mindset now and the only one who is causing these problems is you. Please take this advice and trust me on this as I've been around the block anxiety wise..

 

[slackhands]

I hear "music" in my head all the time after taking E. How is this strictly related to other stimulants? MDMA can be overwhelming aswell, and believe it or not, can cause anxiety...
From 16 to 19 years old is about the age when people who have anxiety issues start having to face up to them.

Theres a real possibility that you triggered it and screwed yourself over. 18 is the excact time when I got a panic attack for the first time. Same story with my dad, and my grandfather, and I'm pretty sure they didn't take drugs. Anxiety that lasts that long isn't a reaction caused by drugs, it's YOU. Derealization is more often a RESULT of anxiety then a disorder by itself. However the effects can give you more anxiety so the cycle continues.

The fact that you think you are happy and over it is a very good sign and shows that you can think your way out of this, asking on this forum however isn't a good idea. The thing is, the more you think about these kinds of problems, the worse they will become. I suggest you accept that this is happening to you, STOP fussing about it, stop reading about it and FORGET it. Only then will it fade away, you are the exact same person before that drug experience, you just have a different mindset now and the only one who is causing these problems is you. Please take this advice and trust me on this as I've been around the block anxiety wise..

Excellent post. A few months ago (who am I kidding... it was 182 days to this day plus 4 hrs, ahaha) I took some mdma(not tested, but seemed very pure) and I honestly went to hell and back that night. I honestly felt like I was gonna do something very stupid that day, I 99.999% convinced myself I would. All I can say is that time is a great healer. No matter how bad you are feeling, I can almost guarantee you will feel better even if you can't see it right now. Take your mind of it all is the only way. Now Sleep!

 

[Jerry_999]

Thanks alot for your posts guys. I guess Im just looking for reassurances. I'm still suffering from anxiety, insomnia, A kind of mental cloudiness where i just dont feel right, i feel my heartbeat is fast and pounding. I just learned a month ago that my mom suffers from anxiety. have i just triggered what she has? she only has it under times of high stress but then again i dont really know too much about it. I guess i know i will get better, but I always see people saying that theyre getting better, but not quite there yet. I guess I just want to hear about someone that went through exactly what i went through and they are now perfectly fine. after six, eight months. I know im worrying way too much and i know i spend way too much time on forums like this but i honestly just cant help it.

 

[dezz]

Jerry, I have had what you are experiencing. I'm now also dealing with the aftermath of an anxiety ridden time. This wasn't from an ecstasy experience, but from WEED. It happened out of the blue one night and previous to that I was a heavy smoker for a LONG time without problems, yet from that one experience I suffered from daily panic attacks, DP/DR, depression insomnia and a feeling of hopelessness I wouldn't wish on ANYONE. Just goes to show what "just weed" can do huh

I searched everywhere for "reassurance" and couldn't find one. Because the cure can not and has not ever been found. Why? It's because that cure is inside of you. If I tell you right now: "Jerry, I have been fully recovered and you will too." Will that lay your mind at ease? Will it allow you to rest? Will it destroy all the anxiety you have left? No. You'll read it and be like "meh.." and search for further answers.

The mental cloudiness stems from you analyzing your body ALL THE DAMN TIME. How do you expect to focus when you are constantly monitoring every sensation in your body? (That you had since a kid but are now aware of by the way...). Overcoming anxiety is a mindgame my friend, and the first step is truly believing that these sensations can not hurt you. Once you overcome your fear, your focus should shift and the DP/DR should fade away.

One last thing, if you are struggling and want to find awnsers I'd suggest that you try the Linden Method. Find a torrent or something. It's basically a guide about what I just told you, and it will teach you ways to deal with thoughts, sensations, fears and combines it with meditation techniques and proper diet, without you having to read horror story's on the web which will allow more symptoms to manifest... For now, good luck

 

[ravergirl42]

Last month i over heated pretty badly ended up in the hospital with a 103 -106 fever after taking only .5 of a g, but the rave was pretty awesome otherwise. Still have really bad anxiety about it and thinking about whether or not i'm gunna touch molly again in the future because it was so good to me so many times before. I'm right here with ya with the whole anxiety thing.

 

[Folley]

after taking only .5 of a g

UHHHH, only? That's WAY too much.

 

[ravergirl42]

Half of a gram for molly is pretty average for most of the kids i go to raves with

 

[Folley]

Sorry to say but most of the kids you rave with are probably stupid E Tards who you really shouldn't be taking advice from



I'll make a post in your thread.

Wait... didn't you make a thread? I can't see it anymore, must have gotten caught up by the spam blocker..

 

[ravergirl42]

I erased it because i thought i would get more comments on how stupid i may have just been acting.. I just dont understand how i got effected so much worse than everyone around me who took more seems almost unfair, but i guess thats just how it goes. I just wanted to know if anyone else took any type of mdma after having a bad experience with it.

 

[ravergirl42]

Every other time i have rolled it was on .2 of a g and those were at big festivals and i was fine

 

[Folley]

I erased it because i thought i would get more comments on how stupid i may have just been acting.. I just dont understand how i got effected so much worse than everyone around me who took more seems almost unfair, but i guess thats just how it goes. I just wanted to know if anyone else took any type of mdma after having a bad experience with it.

How do you know it's MDMA? In fact, I would bet MONEY that if you buy it as "Molly" and you are in America, it is anything BUT MDMA.

You ever heard of "bath salts"? The same chemicals in those (methylone, MDPV, A-PVP and other gross research chemicals) are what gets sold as Molly these days, which explains why you overheated.




Your "friends" sounds stupid as hell. They are taking more than .5 of untested "Molly"? How often? I'd bet just about every week.


Don't ever listen to your "friends", especially when it comes to drugs. They don't know what they're talking about.

Every other time i have rolled it was on .2 of a g and those were at big festivals and i was fine

Just because you can take .2 and be fine doesn't mean you can take more than double that and be fine... that's common sense!!

 

[thizzlemonster86]

Folley speaks the truth. ravergirl42 you should really listen to Folley on this. what you are doing is dangerous and could kill you. you dont really know what you are taking. there are hella chems that look alot like "molly". really please be more careful. obviously its not a good idea since you possibly almost died and had to go to the hospital right? what you kids need to start doing is testing your drugs. test kits arent that much $$$. if i remember correctly you can make your own testing solution pretty easy, google it. and .5 is a lot. thats half a gram. the average dose is like 150mg and a heavy dose being 200+mg. you took 500mg! and i agree that i bet you both you and the OP jerry took bunk "molley" and most likly wasnt MDMA. Folley is right, if your in america than its hard to get decent MDMA or "molley" its getting worse and worse i think. because the dealers are making hella money selling bunk or cut to shit drugs. so you end up taking hella more to feel it but your also taking shit load of some random nasty research chem he could get for the cheapest price. that shit is toxic garbage that can kill you!

 

[lightforce]

I've done some stupid things with MDMA. Doing over 5 capsules (over .5g) in a night, going on a weekend bender doing over 1.5 grams (that one made me feel shitty for a while, only time I've ever had brain zaps). I was able to fully recover but it probably took a good 2 weeks to stop feeling depressed and over a month for the fuzzy head and derealization/depersonalization to go away. I also had some short term memory problems but again those seem to have gone away with abstinence.

Since these times, and others, I only do MDMA a few times a year. I can't stand to feel like an empty shell after abusing it even though I have some of the best times ever on it. Respect it and enjoy it for years to come.

 

[Folley]

Brain zaps are scary things to think about. It's a direct re-wiring of the brain... it's really a good thing, it's your brain adapting to the changes you put it through.. but for it to get that bad you have to put it through a LOT of damage.

 

[Jerry_999]

Hey guys its me again, just thought I'd drop by to let you guys know how im doing... about five and a half months in and things are different. I went home for christmas break and was doing SOOOO much better at the end of the break. Came back to school and (STUPID) had a pretty heavy binge on alcohol and now my anxiety is back along with what I think is depression. Anyways guys my symptoms as of now

-anxiety - was gone, came back in a different way, hard to explain

-depression - idk if I'm suffering from this but i feel like im just kinda floating through life, these past couple days I've been thinking about what would happen if I died or if I commited suicide (scares me so bad) I feel like my life is just a blur. I really wasn't depressed this break, but now that I'm back at school its really bad guys. I think it's because I really dont have any friends here at school, so I end up sitting around thinking.

-sleep - OUTTA WHACK, but getting better, sometimes I sleep for like 12 hours, I try not to but it happens

-I keep thinking about how I feel, like I'm CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT MY SITUATION. I can't stop. This is the worst,

-I keep popping my jaw. This just recently surfaced in teh past two weeks. I wanted to ask the BL community if this has happened to them? It's like whenever I think about it I HAVE to pop it. Is this bruxism?

Things that have improved

-My heart quit being a little shit, I would get these weird fluctuations in heart rate and (I'm assuming) pressure.

-My short term memory has pretty much fully come back.

I think what I got def wasn't mdma, or it was cut. God I was such an idiot for doing drugs. Please post guys, I want to find someone who made it through this... Thanks

 

[thizzlemonster86]

hey jerry, i suggest you go see a doctor and tell him what happened because he not gonna tell the cops or anything like that. maybe you will need the take some anti anxiety meds for a while. i hate to suggest resorting to drugs as thats whats fucked you up to begin with. but opiates and things like xanax are good for anxiety, but dont mix them. see what your doctor thinks. remeber just tell him whats up and how you feel. i dont think there are many doctors on BL, not to say that the BL community is dumb. but i think its best to get an opinion from a doctor. but on the flipside, its all true that this whole thing all in your head man. your over thinking it. i have experienced some crazy panic attacks before. you jus gotta remeber to breathe and remember that your ok an your gonna be fine. its crazy how bad drugs can fuck with you mentally. i personally have done some damage to my physical and mental health over the years of abuse. so trust me man, your fine.

 

[laugh]

yeh it sounds like you may/MAY as in might have some underlying mental health issue/not necessarily though. instead of asking us make an appointment to see a health care professional. i would start with your gp/general practitioner/family doctor and see what he says about it all. he may put your mind at ease or he may refer you to a psychologist. either way try not to stress and just take it easy until you have spoken to a professional, that means no more bending the fuck out of your psyche with any substance being legal or not.

im sure it will all work out for you mate.