Anorexia, Bulimia, or maybe not.
- Thread starter CrankItUp077420
- Start date
Well im an asshole(or at least pretend to be one online...we all have our issues don't we) so I will post an asshole response.
What the fuck was that reasoning crank? All the guys hate you, you have no friends therefore you need to eat nothing and become super skinny. What the fuck? Where did you get the idea that they don't like you because you are too fat?
Let us deal with the guy situation later. Look around, fat people, even grossly overweight people have friends. At fifteen everyone gets made fun of, and those who are overweight take alot more of a beating than others, but this is because they are easy targets usually they have friends. I know this is going to sound really cruel but the reason you don't have friends is because of the way you interact with other people and has NOTHING to do with your weight...especially not the way you have described it here online. Unless you are grossly lying you are quite skinny.
As for the crank. Once or twice a week probably isn't stopping you from eating but it isn't doing any good with your mental health. Obviously you have a severe self confidence issue which is manifesting itself in terms of an obsession with your weight. Add some stims (or even pot) to this mix and of course your paranoia is going to convince you that people are mocking you/disliking you because of your weight. Hell I am quite well aware of these effects, experienced with all of them, and even knowing it is all in your head often you still can't convince yourself it isn't happening.
Of course I don't mean to suggest that people aren't making fun of you because of your weight. My second axiom of life (after never underestimate how much how innacurate your perception of the world is especially on drugs) is never underestimate the cruelty of teenagers. If you show weakness or sensitivity to a subject, valid or invalid, they will discover it and exploit it to make you feel bad. It is not, however, your actual weight which is making them complain (try comparing your actual weight objectively measured on a scale to others of your same height who are not so mocked...bet it won't be higher) but rather the fact you are sensitive to it.
They are all convinced their dicks are too short so if they can make you feel bad at least they are better than someone. If you want revenge at some point seduce one of these shitty guys (I don't know how to do it for the shitty women) then once he is naked and pulls his penis out stop and say "ohh, is that how small it normally is?" That will fuck him up for years.
The guys not liking you has *nothing* to do with not being skinny enough. I know plenty of girls who are actually fairly fat who leave men drooling (good exposure of large breasts does wonders...if you are really worried about catching men in the long run get a breast implant its healthier and will work way better). It probably has to do with their impression you are on the bottom of the social ladder and your lack of confidence in yourself. An amazing thing is that 90% of being attractive is thinking that you are (life is a real bitch that way).
You probably have no friends because you are always fucking obsessing "do they like me?" "Are they making fun of me because I am too fat?" "What do they think of me?"
Finally you are only 15. Jesus christ why are you so worried about the guys. My first girlfriend didn't even come close to dating anyone until she was older than you. She also thought she was unattractive. Now that she knows men want to fuck her she is damn hot (unfortunately I am now out of the running but hey that is the way life goes).
Just work on your school work. Spend your free time making friends on BL or online somewhere else (not as good as ones in person but some of the people other than me might be more mature and not dicks). Go to college after the first frat boy gets you drunk and pops your cherry you will know men find you attractive.
Dear god I just went back and looked at ungratefulninjas post. Jesus christ she is disgusting...I really didn't need to see that(I was planning on jerking off tonight but the picture kinda killed that plan) but I think you did.
[ 03 July 2002: Message edited by: quale ]
What the fuck was that reasoning crank? All the guys hate you, you have no friends therefore you need to eat nothing and become super skinny. What the fuck? Where did you get the idea that they don't like you because you are too fat?
Let us deal with the guy situation later. Look around, fat people, even grossly overweight people have friends. At fifteen everyone gets made fun of, and those who are overweight take alot more of a beating than others, but this is because they are easy targets usually they have friends. I know this is going to sound really cruel but the reason you don't have friends is because of the way you interact with other people and has NOTHING to do with your weight...especially not the way you have described it here online. Unless you are grossly lying you are quite skinny.
As for the crank. Once or twice a week probably isn't stopping you from eating but it isn't doing any good with your mental health. Obviously you have a severe self confidence issue which is manifesting itself in terms of an obsession with your weight. Add some stims (or even pot) to this mix and of course your paranoia is going to convince you that people are mocking you/disliking you because of your weight. Hell I am quite well aware of these effects, experienced with all of them, and even knowing it is all in your head often you still can't convince yourself it isn't happening.
Of course I don't mean to suggest that people aren't making fun of you because of your weight. My second axiom of life (after never underestimate how much how innacurate your perception of the world is especially on drugs) is never underestimate the cruelty of teenagers. If you show weakness or sensitivity to a subject, valid or invalid, they will discover it and exploit it to make you feel bad. It is not, however, your actual weight which is making them complain (try comparing your actual weight objectively measured on a scale to others of your same height who are not so mocked...bet it won't be higher) but rather the fact you are sensitive to it.
They are all convinced their dicks are too short so if they can make you feel bad at least they are better than someone. If you want revenge at some point seduce one of these shitty guys (I don't know how to do it for the shitty women) then once he is naked and pulls his penis out stop and say "ohh, is that how small it normally is?" That will fuck him up for years.
The guys not liking you has *nothing* to do with not being skinny enough. I know plenty of girls who are actually fairly fat who leave men drooling (good exposure of large breasts does wonders...if you are really worried about catching men in the long run get a breast implant its healthier and will work way better). It probably has to do with their impression you are on the bottom of the social ladder and your lack of confidence in yourself. An amazing thing is that 90% of being attractive is thinking that you are (life is a real bitch that way).
You probably have no friends because you are always fucking obsessing "do they like me?" "Are they making fun of me because I am too fat?" "What do they think of me?"
Finally you are only 15. Jesus christ why are you so worried about the guys. My first girlfriend didn't even come close to dating anyone until she was older than you. She also thought she was unattractive. Now that she knows men want to fuck her she is damn hot (unfortunately I am now out of the running but hey that is the way life goes).
Just work on your school work. Spend your free time making friends on BL or online somewhere else (not as good as ones in person but some of the people other than me might be more mature and not dicks). Go to college after the first frat boy gets you drunk and pops your cherry you will know men find you attractive.
Dear god I just went back and looked at ungratefulninjas post. Jesus christ she is disgusting...I really didn't need to see that(I was planning on jerking off tonight but the picture kinda killed that plan) but I think you did.
[ 03 July 2002: Message edited by: quale ]
DazedAndConfused
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2002
- Messages
- 300
^^^^^^ Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind..
Has it occured to anyone that just a couple weeks ago CrankItUp reported weighing 179 lbs and now she is 150? 29 pounds in two weeks. Even the cheap ads stapled to telephone poles don't advertise that rapid of a weight loss. Please prove to me that this amount of weight could be lost in two weeks. Unless CrankItUp is severely dehydrated, something's not calculated right.
Oh and I may seem a bit insensitive here, but due to the psychological nature of eating disorders the patient usually needs a swift kick in the ass more than a lovey-dovey environment. And yes I am speaking from experience. 99% of the time when someone has an eating disorder, it is very little about the disorder and very much about expectations of other people, feeling accepted, perfectionism, anxiety, escapism, need for attention, fear of closeness, and a general fear of other people. I've seen an entire family broken up over one member's eating disorder. The only way a person with an eating disorder is going to get better is when they learn to like themselves and when they genuinely want to change. And not change other people, but change themselves.
Oh and I may seem a bit insensitive here, but due to the psychological nature of eating disorders the patient usually needs a swift kick in the ass more than a lovey-dovey environment. And yes I am speaking from experience. 99% of the time when someone has an eating disorder, it is very little about the disorder and very much about expectations of other people, feeling accepted, perfectionism, anxiety, escapism, need for attention, fear of closeness, and a general fear of other people. I've seen an entire family broken up over one member's eating disorder. The only way a person with an eating disorder is going to get better is when they learn to like themselves and when they genuinely want to change. And not change other people, but change themselves.
Ohh I am sure it can be done!! She is continuing to do strenous activity and not eating at all. The change in the mass of her shit alone is probably a good 10 pounds. Probably dropped alot of water as well. She could be faking it but seems sorta unlikely.
Of course the underlying problem is a self confidence one. As she is 15 however it isn't unreasonable to suspect that time will eventually help with this issue.
That is why I am attempting to convince her that people will like her less (which is true) if she is severly anorexic. If she comes to believe this she might stop doing immenently dangerous things to herself and have some time to heal emotionally.
Of course the underlying problem is a self confidence one. As she is 15 however it isn't unreasonable to suspect that time will eventually help with this issue.
That is why I am attempting to convince her that people will like her less (which is true) if she is severly anorexic. If she comes to believe this she might stop doing immenently dangerous things to herself and have some time to heal emotionally.
CrankItUp077420
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2002
- Messages
- 195
Hello everyone. I f you would like to see a picture of me i am in the Bluelight memeber photo thingy and that picture is before this all happend. i really am trying to do better its just I like not eating for some odd reason but I do make myself eat at least 1 good meal a day no less. I have started t gain around 2 lbs back which is really hard for me to grasp b/c it upsets me so and it is making me want to starve myself a lot so I can lose it back. I guess I am doing good. Like I have a lot of family problems. i don't have any parents they are all drug addicts liveing in ditches off the side of the road . i live with my grandparents who could really give a shit about me. my papa trys to molest me and purposly runs into me in the shower thinking I am his wife when he knows for a fact that its me. uh he is soo damn grose and there isn't much phy. abuse then there is verbal a lot of verbal abuse and I guess that might be triggering my distaste for food. I dunno.
*chaoscat*
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2000
- Messages
- 957
^^^ Sounds like you feel helpless about your home life? I have heard that a lot of the time eating disorders can be an attempt to control an aspect of your life when you feel helpless. Are you seeing a therapist? You have told us enough problems that show you need to regularly talk to someone. Even if your family doesn't show you they care, there are many caring people who will help you get out of a situation where you can be physically or psychologically abused.
I have lost quite a lot of weight this year, and rather than improving my self-esteem it has had the opposite effect. When I used to go out and be around skinny girls I would think that I felt insecure because of my weight. Now I am thinner I still feel that same insecurity, so my mind thinks that since it's not weight that is my problem anymore, there must be a problem with me! This isn't a problem for me as I realise that it is just my mind playing tricks on me, but for someone like you who has real problems it could be terrible. What are you going to do when you get really skinny but still feel exactly the same? You're just going to be physically worse off than when you started!
Work on your mind to overcome your problems and have a happy life, you will feel good rergardless of what you look like. Wouldn't you like to feel like that? Get help dammit
I have lost quite a lot of weight this year, and rather than improving my self-esteem it has had the opposite effect. When I used to go out and be around skinny girls I would think that I felt insecure because of my weight. Now I am thinner I still feel that same insecurity, so my mind thinks that since it's not weight that is my problem anymore, there must be a problem with me! This isn't a problem for me as I realise that it is just my mind playing tricks on me, but for someone like you who has real problems it could be terrible. What are you going to do when you get really skinny but still feel exactly the same? You're just going to be physically worse off than when you started!
Work on your mind to overcome your problems and have a happy life, you will feel good rergardless of what you look like. Wouldn't you like to feel like that? Get help dammit
Yeah, agree with above...
I went down to 95 lbs at one time, and by that time I was so far gone and had wasted so much of my life that I hated the way I looked. I looked like a 12 year old...and probably acted like one. Yeah, you think changing something on the outer shell is going to solve your problems, but you gotta realize that if people care about you it's because they care about your soul not your body, and if they really cared about you they wouldn't really care if your body wasn't "perfect"...they would care about your health. You probably should reach out to others, find a hobby where you can make friends, talk to a therapist.
Oh yeah and if you choose to obsess about your looks you will lose your soul. To scary dimensions.
I went down to 95 lbs at one time, and by that time I was so far gone and had wasted so much of my life that I hated the way I looked. I looked like a 12 year old...and probably acted like one. Yeah, you think changing something on the outer shell is going to solve your problems, but you gotta realize that if people care about you it's because they care about your soul not your body, and if they really cared about you they wouldn't really care if your body wasn't "perfect"...they would care about your health. You probably should reach out to others, find a hobby where you can make friends, talk to a therapist.
Oh yeah and if you choose to obsess about your looks you will lose your soul. To scary dimensions.
CrankItUp077420
Bluelighter
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- Feb 23, 2002
- Messages
- 195
^^^^ well thankyou!
Quicksilverchameleon7
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fizzygirl
Bluelighter
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- Jul 21, 2000
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One thing to keep in mind is that the faster one loses weight--as in crash diets, the more likely that person is to put it back on. This yo-yoing can do awful things to a person's metabolism.
At your age you are in the perfect stage to start some healty eating patterns and be a normal weight all throughout your life--especially with the physical activity you have available to you. You could totally take this need for control over something and turn it into the most perfect fitness routine. I remember being larger than I wanted to be when I was around your age. I was a couple of inches shorter so it showed as well. What I did was to start studying every legitimate dietary book that I could get my hand on. Not the fad diets, but the scientific diety guidelines. I was honestly the person that ate the most healthy of anyone I knew. I knew all about what type of exercise was good for what, etc. I also became a fairly good chef as far as nutritious food went. The pounds melted off, and I'd never felt stronger. I only loosely counted calories, but I remember it was around 1200 a day--basically I just cut down on fattening spreads and dressings.
It's important too, to remember that when you drop below a certain calorie count, your body goes into 'starvation mode' and conserves fat b/c it is basically starving. In this way, a crash diet can work against you. You're also more likely to get sick with a diet like you've described, and be less likely to fight off the illness. Without proper vitamins your hair doesn't look as shiny, and your skin doesn't look as bright. At my lowest, I was 5ft6, and weighed around 128 (in 11th grade). After that I actually gained a little bit of the weight back after I started working out more and went off to college. When I came home to visit, and was around 15 lbs heavier, I actually got a great deal more compliments. I even had people confiding to me that I had looked sick before, and just looked way more healthy where I was now. Many people wouldn't think that being around 145 or so would be their ideal--but apparently for me it brought out the best. It was also the weight that at which I could easily stabilize. In the same way that we think outside of the box in reference to drug use, so should you try to do with weight. There are people that are going to try to force a stereotype onto you, but you don't have to accept it. You apparently aren't feeling happy with your attitude towards food right now. If nothing else, I would speak to a counselor about this.
I understand your desire to be thin as much as the next girl, believe me--but there are better ways. Aside from that, on a personal note, I believe that food it one of the great joys of life. It's not just some sustenance I have to get by. Believe it or not, the more you learn about preparing foods with seasonings and different ethnic ingredients, the easier it is to eat healthy and lose weight in a steady, healthy way.
I'm on aim (fizzyg23) if you ever need someone to talk with. Listen to the people around you though---if they are all telling you the same thing, it might have some truth to it.
And...a couple of websites:
body positive
eating disorder resource
eating disorders awareness and prevention
At your age you are in the perfect stage to start some healty eating patterns and be a normal weight all throughout your life--especially with the physical activity you have available to you. You could totally take this need for control over something and turn it into the most perfect fitness routine. I remember being larger than I wanted to be when I was around your age. I was a couple of inches shorter so it showed as well. What I did was to start studying every legitimate dietary book that I could get my hand on. Not the fad diets, but the scientific diety guidelines. I was honestly the person that ate the most healthy of anyone I knew. I knew all about what type of exercise was good for what, etc. I also became a fairly good chef as far as nutritious food went. The pounds melted off, and I'd never felt stronger. I only loosely counted calories, but I remember it was around 1200 a day--basically I just cut down on fattening spreads and dressings.
It's important too, to remember that when you drop below a certain calorie count, your body goes into 'starvation mode' and conserves fat b/c it is basically starving. In this way, a crash diet can work against you. You're also more likely to get sick with a diet like you've described, and be less likely to fight off the illness. Without proper vitamins your hair doesn't look as shiny, and your skin doesn't look as bright. At my lowest, I was 5ft6, and weighed around 128 (in 11th grade). After that I actually gained a little bit of the weight back after I started working out more and went off to college. When I came home to visit, and was around 15 lbs heavier, I actually got a great deal more compliments. I even had people confiding to me that I had looked sick before, and just looked way more healthy where I was now. Many people wouldn't think that being around 145 or so would be their ideal--but apparently for me it brought out the best. It was also the weight that at which I could easily stabilize. In the same way that we think outside of the box in reference to drug use, so should you try to do with weight. There are people that are going to try to force a stereotype onto you, but you don't have to accept it. You apparently aren't feeling happy with your attitude towards food right now. If nothing else, I would speak to a counselor about this.
I understand your desire to be thin as much as the next girl, believe me--but there are better ways. Aside from that, on a personal note, I believe that food it one of the great joys of life. It's not just some sustenance I have to get by. Believe it or not, the more you learn about preparing foods with seasonings and different ethnic ingredients, the easier it is to eat healthy and lose weight in a steady, healthy way.
I'm on aim (fizzyg23) if you ever need someone to talk with. Listen to the people around you though---if they are all telling you the same thing, it might have some truth to it.
And...a couple of websites:
body positive
eating disorder resource
eating disorders awareness and prevention
xXx_JeNnErS_xXx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2002
- Messages
- 234
well whatever is 'wrong' with you i seem to have the same problem...
*chaoscat*
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2000
- Messages
- 957
^ Whatever is 'wrong' with her? We've already established that she has an eating disorder.
Put simply:
Potentially life threatening problem --> get psychological/medical help now!
Put simply:
Potentially life threatening problem --> get psychological/medical help now!