This makes me really sad... I can see how I progressed through these stages indefinitely cycling between trying to get some use out of amphetamines, and being completely dependent on them. It really did drive me insane in the end and changed me permanently. At this point I don't know if I'll ever be the same, the massive amount of sleep deprivation with amphetamines has caused a strange blur in my vision. My thoughts are scattered, almost as much as my emotions. One minute I can't even imagine leaving my apartments because I hate everyone I know, then I'm in a group of people overjoyed and sociable. I have no idea what's going on with my life, I just keep obsessing over amphetamines because "they will solve ALL my problems".
People who are in this cycle need help... Serious, professional, comprehensive help. Someone like myself needs to learn how to live again, without amphetamines. Normal motivation has completely evaporated, leaving me with an emptiness I didn't know existed. This shit sucks.
Just a warning to anyone in this cycle, it will get worse. You may be permanently addicted, even when not taking the drug, constantly contemplating picking up again. I wish I had never been introduced to these robotizing phenylamines..
I binged last night on a gram of dexamphetamine sulphate, since my last use it has been a rough six months and either the purity was very low (which I doubt) or my tolerance has survived thusfar... Or maybe i'm just too much cognitively aware; i'm too much of an euphoria chaser...
Anyway no matter how much time I leave between usage (even a halfyear) amphetamines still fall on my mind week after week -> they will solve ALL my problems... I know that emptiness all too well same as not wanting to go on the streets and meet people and then suddenly I find myself partying my ass off with my friends.
Very strange, quite depressing but I can't seem to put a solid reason on it but to just solely blame the amphetamines, no can do! I take other drugs aswell and XI intelligence already leaves me feeling not right... Amphetamine binges completely reset me though AND I don't have ADHD yet I have adverse reactions; they calm me indefinitely and leave a strong feeling of mind over matter behind, I have no problems whatsoever with going to sleep and eating either ... I did abuse them briefly last summer so I suddenly do recognize a lot of things in this thread that affect me.
Yet I don't take any supplements to prevent neurotoxicity but i'd expect a healthy bookreading habit, intensive working out and a variated diet to definetly overcome most of the negatives; heck I survived brain zaps from abusing too much mdma.citrate daily and I could pretty much relativize most of those negative mood effects.
I should get my hands on some racemic amphetamine again; it always left me more euphoric, makes sense (to me) because apparently the isomer does potentiate the other one.
jaguraguguru...
9) Leyton M, aan het Rot M, Booij L, Baker GB, Young SN, Benkelfat C
Mood-elevating effects of d-amphetamine and incentive salience: the effect of acute dopamine precursor depletion.
J Psychiatry Neurosci. 2007 Mar;32(2):129-36.
OBJECTIVE: Midbrain dopamine transmission is thought to regulate responses to rewarding drugs and drug-paired stimuli; however, the exact contribution, particularly in humans, remains unclear. In the present study, we tested whether decreasing dopamine synthesis, as produced by acute phenylalanine/tyrosine depletion (APTD), would alter responses to the stimulant drug, d-amphetamine. METHODS: On 3 separate days, 14 healthy men received d-amphetamine (0.3 mg/kg, given orally) plus a nutritionally balanced amino acid mixture, the phenylalanine/tyrosine-deficient mixture or the phenylalanine/tyrosine-deficient mixture followed by the immediate dopamine precursor, L-DOPA (Sinemet, 2 x 100 mg/25 mg). Responses to these treatments were assessed with visual analog scales, the Profile of Mood States, and a computerized Go/No-Go task. RESULTS: d-Amphetamine elicited its prototypical subjective effects, but these were not altered by APTD. In comparison, APTD significantly increased commission errors on the Go/No-Go task and did so uniquely in conditions where subjects were rewarded for making correct responses; this effect of APTD was prevented by L-DOPA. CONCLUSIONS: Together these results support the hypothesis that, in healthy men, dopamine is not closely linked to euphorogenic effects of abused substances but does affect the salience of reward-related cues and the ability to respond to them preferentially.
Alas I am (not yet) no chemist/pharmacologist/doctor but if I interpret this right, dopamine in the end has nothing to do with it's euphoric effects... Anyone can shed some light on this?