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Am I the asshole?

FunctionalJnkieGrl

FunctionalJnkieGrl

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Mar 22, 2020
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So I was set to get either blues or op 40's by today or even earlier, but my dealer's best friend died in a car accident a couple of days ago, so now he's saying that scoring for people isn't a priority right now. He needs time to grieve and whatnot. Me, annoyed that getting my stuff "sooner rather than later" has become "later rather than sooner", reluctantly said "I'm sorry for your loss. I won't bother you for a few days" (til Dec. 31st). I feel bad for not feeling bad enough for his loss, but my addiction takes no breaks and my withdrawals won't be put on hold just because someone died. He told me this yesterday. Is a few days enough time to wait before I hit him up for more? Am I the asshole for prioritizing my addiction before someone's grieving process? I mean, he was all set to hook me up but then his best friend dies in a car accident, then suddenly it's "tough shit" for me. I have the money ready and everything. He just simply doesn't wanna fuck with it right now and as an addict, I can't help but feel irritated and a bit selfish.
 
Doesn't make you an asshole for feeling those things. If you said something like "tough shit, get my shit" lol an argument could be made for that being pretty shitty behavior. But feeling those things is natural when you're contending with physical withdrawal.

I would get more sources for things, or figure out how to operate the dark net so that you're not beholden to one individual.
 
Yeah it is a bit selfish, but I would be irritated too if I was addicted.

You've only got 2 days left anyways, at least he didn't get caught up and leave you with no plug whatsoever.
 
A
Kingoffrogs said:
Yeah it is a bit selfish, but I would be irritated too if I was addicted.

You've only got 2 days left anyways, at least he didn't get caught up and leave you with no plug whatsoever.
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Unfortunately as of now, he is my only plug. So if he doesn't get my shit by the 31st, I'm gonna have a REALLY bad time.
 
Also, is a few days an appropriate amount of time to leave him alone? If it was the loss of a child, parent, or close relative, I could see needing a longer period of bereavement, but this was a close friend of his. I'm gonna have to bother him about by the 31st regardless, unless by some odd chance he contacts me before that.
 
Not an asshole for feeling that way, but I would def try to have more than one plug on the line. That’s fucked me many times before, my one and only plug being out, unable to reach, etc. so I know it’s not really helpful right this second, try to get more than one plug to save this situation in future (cause I’ve been there many times)
 
Also, I personally think a few days is good.. esp if being a dealer is how he makes money.. I would think he wouldn’t want to stop his business for too long, even through grief.. but maybe I’m just an asshole lol
 
Not an asshole, us addicts will prioritize not getting sick before most things. Just give him a bit to grieve and don't give him a hard time if he's still not ready in a few days.

As said above that's his business so he won't go very long not making money. Just be patient with him, sudden deaths of someone close is pretty traumatic. I'd also try to get another back up plug if possible.

Can you access any kratom just in case?
 
Do you trust him enough to propose a contactless delivery? And vice versa? I know that's sometimes a rare relationship to have with a dealer, but it's been a thing for me so it might not hurt to try. Especially if you are a consistent customer that brings him a lot of money. There is also a good chance he's using what supply he is currently in possession of to cope with the death of his friend, and not trying to go seek out more in his current state of mind, unless he is a non-user.
 
FunctionalJnkieGrl said:
So I was set to get either blues or op 40's by today or even earlier, but my dealer's best friend died in a car accident a couple of days ago, so now he's saying that scoring for people isn't a priority right now. He needs time to grieve and whatnot. Me, annoyed that getting my stuff "sooner rather than later" has become "later rather than sooner", reluctantly said "I'm sorry for your loss. I won't bother you for a few days" (til Dec. 31st). I feel bad for not feeling bad enough for his loss, but my addiction takes no breaks and my withdrawals won't be put on hold just because someone died. He told me this yesterday. Is a few days enough time to wait before I hit him up for more? Am I the asshole for prioritizing my addiction before someone's grieving process? I mean, he was all set to hook me up but then his best friend dies in a car accident, then suddenly it's "tough shit" for me. I have the money ready and everything. He just simply doesn't wanna fuck with it right now and as an addict, I can't help but feel irritated and a bit selfish.
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yea you are being an asshole

leave him the fuck alone for now
 
dosesfromcinco said:
Do you trust him enough to propose a contactless delivery? And vice versa? I know that's sometimes a rare relationship to have with a dealer, but it's been a thing for me so it might not hurt to try. Especially if you are a consistent customer that brings him a lot of money. There is also a good chance he's using what supply he is currently in possession of to cope with the death of his friend, and not trying to go seek out more in his current state of mind, unless he is a non-user.
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This is a good proposal imo and sensible. Like he is probably struggling himself and doesn't want to see anyone. Potentially using himself to cope with the grief (if he is not a regular user already anyway).

Ask him would a contactless delivery be better for him if he is having a bad time right now. Say you understand what it's like and hope he is ok, are willing to make whatever arrangement with the money like either wire it to them or stash the cash somewhere and he can leave the stuff. Once again apologise for asking at this time but say you are struggling for what stuff is left.
 
i wouldn't call him over and over again, but if you try to call or text him probably only do it once and let him decide if he wants to answer or call back, i don't see how any normal person is going to get upset with one call. it's actually really easy to ignore a text too. just find a way to word it where you are showing him respect, but also maybe letting him know how desperate you are... maybe this will cause him to hike the prices up in the future or something, but he may also be okay with it if he has enough sense to realize your situation. everyone knows being addicted to opiates sucks, so he will probably have some compassion.

i've actually stopped dealing with this one kid i know because i asked him to not call me repeatedly and he would never listen... if your friend was real specific saying not to call don't listen to my first paragraph, but if i'm reading right, you just said you wouldn't call till the 31st...
 
^^^^if he's in a certain state of mind, he might take that as trying to brown nose him and think your a bad person... maybe i just think too much, but a friend dying could cause a person to get kind of psychotic... ...... just be honest and don't call a lot... nothing is more annoying than when a person is calling you over and over.
 
I’d let him be for a couple days.

But in all honesty, when I was using, I can’t/couldn’t imagine depending on just one plug.
I had many different plugs and multiple open air drug markets near me.
Going without was never an option. All Bad problems to have when you’re a junkie.

Always, fair winds and following seas
 
CaptnRon said:
I’d let him be for a couple days.

But in all honesty, when I was using, I can’t/couldn’t imagine depending on just one plug.
I had many different plugs and multiple open air drug markets near me.
Going without was never an option. All Bad problems to have when you’re a junkie.

Always, fair winds and following seas
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Unfortunately depression and anxiety whether from drug use or not can wreak havoc on your ability to do that. Pretty much everyone I know and am friends with looks down on opiates, which put me in a really weird spot of trying to hide my addiction from people I cared about.
 
FunctionalJnkieGrl said:
Also, is a few days an appropriate amount of time to leave him alone? If it was the loss of a child, parent, or close relative, I could see needing a longer period of bereavement, but this was a close friend of his.
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Friends can be closer to you than relatives. The death of my best friend hit me harder than that of some members of my immediate family.
 
He is the asshole. You said he is a addict himself. He should know how painful waiting can be. How much of a chore is getting you, your stuff and taking the money? If he is an addict, he should know how infuriating this is. He has probably lost other friends. I remember when I drank how frustrating it was until they changed the law and allowed liquor sales on Sundays from noon to 7am. Even that( I am an insomniac) annoyed me.
I have changed a lot from when I was younger. But if I was dopesick, I am scared to think what I would do if he fucks you over and sells them to someone else. He should know better, he is the asshole.
 
Yeah I have very few inhibitions that are gonna keep me from getting my shit. I also do have some sociopathic tendencies especially when it comes to death, so I'm probably not the best person to take advice from on the best way to approach this. I'd have finessed him to link already or made him block me by now.
 
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