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Almost 23 and have never gotten laid

Lately I have been getting extremely sexually frustrated to the extent that it is destroying my quality of life entirely. I am a very good looking man in my late 20's and there is no reason I should have to go years without sex when I am quite open-minded, kinky and fun as hell, and sociable. I don't go out to parties and I never get a chance to meet anyone. But, I talk to people everywhere. Maybe this year will be different but it totally sucks. In fact, it is worse than either my extreme chronic agonizing back pain and my panic disorder. It is also worse than both my heroin and benzo addictions to deal with. I just can't handle it, I really like romance in my life. That's what it's about for me and just having kinky fun. Depressed. I'm a kinky and romantic person ,very much so, and it is fucking hell to go through life without this. I really take it seriously and it makes me so fucking anxious that I'm getting older and nothing is happening anymore. I wouldn't worry about your appearance man it will mess up your confidence and do whatever you want with your facial hair or whatev. I can't give you advice as I am in the same boat apart from one girlfriend although i DO know what I'm doing now. I'm just socially isolated and it's killing me. I dyed my hair a subtle dark reddish colour, well kinda purply-red exactly how kurt cobain did it but without the coolaid lol, and I have pretty short hair, but you can only see it when light shines on it as I wanted it to be very subtle as I have black hair and I think it looks great.

The girls, well a lot of them I can tell really crush on my appearance. So, I should do something about that. Smiling is important, and so is eye contact. I got a tattoo and stretched my ears out a little, and have a goatee. I don't give a fuck man like just be yourself and make yourself different somehow. That made me more comfortable in my own skin. I'm getting a second tattoo and I really love my appearance, it's about time I meet another girl. I'm sick of being lonely and doing hard drugs to try and escape those feelings of self-loathing. It really sucks but I definitely have faith in myself. You are still young man, and have plenty of time to figure things out. Don't worry about being a virgin it doesn't mean shit unless you allow it to fuck with you. I'm speaking as a very confident man in my late 20's, smart and good looking but it's still a huge struggle. I'm not sure why but it's hard finding someone really special. I have the attraction part down, now I need to figure out the social part haha. But yeah like make yourself stand out somehow man, your appearance is transient. I also used to be 215lbs of muscle and I am 170lbs now, a medium-skinny weight for my height. I get more attention now than I did when I was really into athletics, as I have a chronic back injury now. I think guys peak a little older and I changed my appearance as well as figured out the type of girl who is a good match on me.

So I am on a journey of loneliness of my own. I will certainly end up okay, I'm just an impatient bastard and at this point I just need to fuck someone cute and it will do me wonders. It will do you wonders too. Try meeting someone through a common interest, it doesn't have to be friday night at the bar. I don't like that, I never go to bars or parties. But then again I don't get laid, haha. I'm just on my way to pleasing some very sexy women in the future, I truly believe that. It's tough when you're frustrated.

Oh and good luck.
 
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Just some of my thoughts about how to get laid. I often noticed as since I am not the most best looking guy I instead should try to get my other good parts to use.

What I started doing while going to clubs is that I get into contact with girls and started discussing on the stuff they opened up and tried to be nice for them and compliment their looks and often said that I was having fun while talking with them and then started getting into the part about what if we went to do something nice between us two.

At first I needed to go to talk to a lot of girls to gain a little success and everytime I managed to score I looked up on the process afterwards and checked what might have worked in this case and refined my tactic and I was getting more success after each success.

It is like trying to sell stuff by the phone. The more repetitions you get the more probable it is to find the one who is looking to getting laid.

So get active and contact as many girls as you can and you'll finally find one looking for having sex with you.
 
jr6654 said:
Like what?
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You seem to be pre-occupied with cultivating this "image" that you feel women will be attracted by (like facial hair, oddly enough...) but you're going about it all wrong. I'd be willing to bet that the real reason you haven't gotten laid has nothing to do with how you look because, as I said, there's nothing wrong with how you look. It seems like you're just trying to "trick" people (or the "most carnal and shallow women") into sleeping with you, just to get the initial experience over with...you should just chill out dude. Stop worrying about "what women like" in an effort to have sex with them because, as I said before, 1 of 2 people on planet earth are female and therefore have a wide range of interests, preferences etc. There is undoubtedly someone out there who is into the same kind of stuff that you're into, and the kind of person you are

It really is a numbers game. There are women out there who'll fuck just about anyone. It's a crass way to put it but it's true...I guess you just haven't been "lucky" enough to meet such people? I dunno. I also agree with MrRoot's point regarding complimenting people/flattery...people love that shit. They may say they don't but they do, everyone does, everyone loves to hear about how awesome they are.
 
Burnt Offerings said:
You seem to be pre-occupied with cultivating this "image" that you feel women will be attracted by (like facial hair, oddly enough...) but you're going about it all wrong. I'd be willing to bet that the real reason you haven't gotten laid has nothing to do with how you look because, as I said, there's nothing wrong with how you look. It seems like you're just trying to "trick" people (or the "most carnal and shallow women") into sleeping with you, just to get the initial experience over with...you should just chill out dude. Stop worrying about "what women like" in an effort to have sex with them because, as I said before, 1 of 2 people on planet earth are female and therefore have a wide range of interests, preferences etc. There is undoubtedly someone out there who is into the same kind of stuff that you're into, and the kind of person you are

It really is a numbers game. There are women out there who'll fuck just about anyone. It's a crass way to put it but it's true...I guess you just haven't been "lucky" enough to meet such people? I dunno. I also agree with MrRoot's point regarding complimenting people/flattery...people love that shit. They may say they don't but they do, everyone does, everyone loves to hear about how awesome they are.
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Thanks, I agree with MrRoot too and I've sort of come to the same conclusion as I grow up. When you are trying so hard at something and it isn't working, chances are you are defeating yourself and the solution is to try harder but not trying harder, if that makes sense lol.

To Shroomy, I understand sex without meaning could be empty, but I think if that's understood between partners I have no problem with it. I just want to have some good experiences hopefully, gain a bit of experience both in bed and attracting women, and go on to have a meaningful relationship with more wisdom.
 
Sex without meaning?? There's no such thing. If there was nothing else involved just sex then it still has meaning.
There's nothing wrong with no strings sex or friends with benefits if both people are ok with it.
I think sex is like anything, some people enjoy it more than others.
 
Soso78 said:
Sex without meaning?? There's no such thing. If there was nothing else involved just sex then it still has meaning.
There's nothing wrong with no strings sex or friends with benefits if both people are ok with it.
I think sex is like anything, some people enjoy it more than others.
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Basically what I was trying to say, just worded better haha
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P7mVa4vhkc
jr6654 said:
I'm turning 23 in may and still a virgin. It's just never happened. It's really something that is on my mind a lot and has got me really bummed out. I'm not awkward with girls but i don't think i'm the best looking guy either and i don't know what to think anymore. The pic below is me. What should I do?
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Its not about looks, yes it has a part to do with it. Its about being in your masculine centre. Be the alpha male be confident and you shall attract.

Read this book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-Corey-Wayne/dp/1411673360

Watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhq9A9px2Iw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7xqck7u1ag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P7mVa4vhkc
 
qsbl said:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P7mVa4vhkc
Its not about looks, yes it has a part to do with it. Its about being in your masculine centre. Be the alpha male be confident and you shall attract.

Read this book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-Corey-Wayne/dp/1411673360

Watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhq9A9px2Iw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7xqck7u1ag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P7mVa4vhkc
Click to expand...
I can dig that. I've seen guys who looked nothing like Duck Dynasty or who were even ugly with hot ass chicks, it has to do with how secure you are in you and how you own your own vibe and your personality.

Quitting jerking off and porn a year ago was a good step in the right direction for me, but there's a lot more to it. You have to be strong in that inner masculine core yet subtle in the right ways
 
Dude you aren't ugly, believe me i'm not hear to boost your ego or spair feelings. I think the pedo stash can go and yu'll be good. its all about confidence. I have seen the hottest girls with some fat ugly guys, and they just have the balls to go for it and dont care about rejection. Not having sex at 23 isnt a big deal either, some of my friends i lift with are good looking, muscular but it just hasnt happened and they are 25, who cares. When you find the right girl it will happen, dont stress it.
 
By the way, I live in an apartment and my neighbor who is probably 2 or 3 years younger than me has girls over all the time and it gets loud, shall we say. To guy such as me this is no less than a form of psychological torture
 
Here are two more pictures of me to give you an idea of who this virgin loser is.

Front, in which I look about 12 lol:

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Side, in which i still look 12

X6wL6JH.jpg


fuck my life
 
You look a lot like my old pot dealer. He was gettin' poon left n' right, so I'm certain you can to :)

That's some weird shit about your neighbor, why the heck does it have to be so loud? In my experience, women being loud during the act is an act just to make the guy think he's a stud. Is it the guy who's shouting? Even weirder...

You're gonna hate it, and I'm certain it's cliche, and someone has likely said it, but confidence (read: disinterest) is key to early attractions from a female. Women (and men) want what they can't have. If you want a girl, and it's too clear to her that you're desperate, she'll sense it.

Be physically fit (read: not buffy-McDousche-buff), dress to your personality, and be you. You can't fake it. There are millions of girls out there, chances are there's one who likes the same stuff as you, and if she does, then that's a major bonus. The only good relationships I've been in have been forged upon having similar interests. For instance, my girl and I both like video games and reptiles. This has been a major point of our relationship, we both keep pet reptiles and both play games together; it's a social connection women want. We as men have to realize that female attraction is maybe 30% physical, while the other 70% is are you interesting. I remember when I was a radio DJ at my university, when I told that to girls, they'd suddenly think I was some cool dude rather than a scrawny pothead who jerked off before coming to the party. You must exude a comfort in your own body.

I know it's hard, I'm about your age. Don't give up. Find a passion in your life, and stick with it, and girls who share your passion will flock to you. Remember, be aloof. Don't just ignore them, but act like if they reject you, it's no biggie. Plenty of fish in the sea my friend.

Keep your chin up <3
 
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Cream Gravy? said:
You look a lot like my old pot dealer. He was gettin' poon left n' right, so I'm certain you can to :)

That's some weird shit about your neighbor, why the heck does it have to be so loud? In my experience, women being loud during the act is an act just to make the guy think he's a stud. Is it the guy who's shouting? Even weirder...

You're gonna hate it, and I'm certain it's cliche, and someone has likely said it, but confidence (read: disinterest) is key to early attractions from a female. Women (and men) want what they can't have. If you want a girl, and it's too clear to her that you're desperate, she'll sense it.
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no it's her lol and yeah she is probably faking it

pot dealer? ehhh i'll try to grow a beard eventually. it would look good

and yes losing desperation is key
 
I know it's hard to lose that desperation. It plagued me most of my teenage years and even into college.

You don't have to have a beard lol, I know it's the 'in' thing right now, but it comes in cycles, and a year or two from now beards won't mean shit.

They say it's about loving yourself first; I don't love myself, never have, that's bollocks. It's about looking like you love yourself. Like I said, girls like to talk, find common ground and go from there. And never, ever think that picking up a chick at any drinking establishment is possible unless you're douschey mc douschkins, from the frat Kappa Fratta Douscha. Go to places that you enjoy being in, chances are the girls there like it too. Boom, instant connection, you both like this place. "Why so?" you ask, "Oh, I see you like Jack Kerhuac, I liked On the Road the best of his works, what about you?" etc. etc.

If asking a girl on a date, always pick a nice public venue. I always ask if they wana go out for coffee - one, it tastes good, two, it gets the talking going, and three, it's a dimly lit unassuming place to meet up.
 
i started going to pubs regularly at the age of 18-19 and in the space of 2 years i shagged over 40+ women of all ages lesbians dogging the lot im not saying get yourself out n turn into a pisshead just socialise get chatting even if they are pig ugly a fanny is a fanny at the end of the day mate although i dislike the hairy ones, but who knows where i live its the slut capital of the uk i think,im now settled and engaged for 6 years aged 27 so ive had my fun...get yourself out mate have a shave be confident look smart what have you got to loose if you get knocked down get back up itl only make you stronger! all the best mate and if you live by me i can pass you on to some doggers they love cock no matter what you look like ;)
 
Cream Gravy? said:
I know it's hard to lose that desperation. It plagued me most of my teenage years and even into college.

You don't have to have a beard lol, I know it's the 'in' thing right now, but it comes in cycles, and a year or two from now beards won't mean shit.

They say it's about loving yourself first; I don't love myself, never have, that's bollocks. It's about looking like you love yourself. Like I said, girls like to talk, find common ground and go from there. And never, ever think that picking up a chick at any drinking establishment is possible unless you're douschey mc douschkins, from the frat Kappa Fratta Douscha. Go to places that you enjoy being in, chances are the girls there like it too. Boom, instant connection, you both like this place. "Why so?" you ask, "Oh, I see you like Jack Kerhuac, I liked On the Road the best of his works, what about you?" etc. etc.

If asking a girl on a date, always pick a nice public venue. I always ask if they wana go out for coffee - one, it tastes good, two, it gets the talking going, and three, it's a dimly lit unassuming place to meet up.
Click to expand...
I don't believe in loving yourself. There are enough narcissistic and conceited people out there already to make self-love completely overblown, you hear so much about it but I don't think it will get you anywhere in the world. What I do think gets you far in the world are: self-respect, which is entirely different than self love, - humility and kindness, which can be tough to maintain but are worth it in the end ( I smoke weed because it helps me stay positive and peaceful), and - yes, that image that you are confident and secure in yourself even if you are not. At the end of the day, you are what you project.

And id like a beard even if they're not "in" in a few years lol, at least i will have a choice between looking 27 and 12 that way :p
 
dicko89 said:
i started going to pubs regularly at the age of 18-19 and in the space of 2 years i shagged over 40+ women of all ages lesbians dogging the lot im not saying get yourself out n turn into a pisshead just socialise get chatting even if they are pig ugly a fanny is a fanny at the end of the day mate although i dislike the hairy ones, but who knows where i live its the slut capital of the uk i think,im now settled and engaged for 6 years aged 27 so ive had my fun...get yourself out mate have a shave be confident look smart what have you got to loose if you get knocked down get back up itl only make you stronger! all the best mate and if you live by me i can pass you on to some doggers they love cock no matter what you look like ;)
Click to expand...

Haha thanks man, I wish I lived near you, I'm actually in the states
 
By the way, i've gotten more attention from women in their 30s and 40s than girls in their 20s....WTF?
 
Girls in their 20s are part of the 'me me me' generation, sometimes called millennials. They all think they're a Disney princess and special so they're often picky bitches. Older women already know what they want and go after it.

I blame cell phones and the internet. Oh yeah and Disney.

The wider your spread, the more ducks you'll shoot, you dig?
 
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