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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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AA works for me.

No matter what qualms people have about the program, I recommend you go to a meeting and introduce yourself.

People DO care, and you can find some there.

It's at least worth a try

:)
 
do they care if your drunk when you go in, liike if go in with halve a fith are they going to trip, i realy want to stop somehow. i dont need any court slips but somewhow i need to stop
 
I think I'm on a "leaner" at the moment... you know not quite a bender, just, it's probably not normal or healthy keeping a buzz drinking before uni.
My therapist asked why I can't just deal with the emotions, if they're always going to be bad times why not ride them out? I finally have an reasonable answer other than "I can't" or "I don't want to"... I have to get shit done, I need to go to lectures and study and while it may not be ideal if it's the difference between lying in bed and dropping out or drinking to keep going... It's not a choice for me.
 
oh yes plenty of reasons to drink but we are the sick ones lol

Most employers or teachers prefer us functional even if slowly killing ourselves

We are intentionally put through more stress than is healthy to see if we can still be INNOVATIVE

But oh my...we must grow up and be responsible!
 
well to be honest, ive gone3 thrught at least a fith today and still got a half, thats yet to be cracked. if im alive/sober tomorrow i think im going to try some inpatiend rehab. otherwhise theres agood chnce im giong to kill myself
 
^ I want to just post and give you my support. Its nice to read that you realize this pattern of drinking is an issue, and that you are wanting help. Alcoholism is no joke, and should be treated just as severally as any other addiction. If treatment is what your wanting to do, I really hope you make it in.

Best of luck! Please be safe, and I wouldn't go cold turkey off a daily habit that large.
 
im contemplating going to a meeting today but the only one close to me a the moment says its a closed meeting, am i allowed to show up. i realy dont want to go if their just going to tell me to leave
 
Glitter, closed meeting means you must be an alcoholic to attend, that's all. Open meetings anyone with an interest can attend, alcoholic or no. Most meetings are closed meetings. Nothing more is required of you than a desire to stop drinking, that's your only entry requirement. I take it you've not been to a meeting before? Give it a go, what can it hurt? Doesn't work for everybody, works for some. I'm a pragmatist, very much a what works approach. Suck it and see.
 
Before going anywhere drunk, it would be nice if an alcoholic would think about the people he or she will interact with. The smell or the sight of alcohol might derail some poor soul who has been sober for a week and full of cravings right then.

My mother is 74 and an alcoholic. If she sees or smells booze... she is done. She HAS to drink after that.

My daughter freakin married an alcoholic. After almost 10 years together, they had a kid, who is now six months old. My daughter all of a sudden sees her husband's drinking as a problem. In fact, her husband has gotten steadily worse since his beautiful baby boy was born. HE wanted them to have a baby. Now he's a wreck... I just do not understand it. My daughter has left him several times in the last six months because he is 100% asshole while drunk. He apologizes and he acts terrific for a few days then he gets drunk and fucks with my daughter's head.

My little grandson even knows when his dad is drunk. Already. He cries when he looks in his father's eyes when the man is drunk. He cries when they fight. My daughter does not want their son to grow up without a dad. That is a huge factor in her husband's life. But she does not want my grandson to have an alcoholic father.

It just kills me to have my daughter and the baby so trashed by alcohol that my son in law abuses.
 
I'm really sad to hear the effect that has on your and your daughters life, and their kid ^^^

I've vowed never to bring a kid into this world until I can at least look after myself.

Just an opinion question, how serious a symptom do you think "the shakes" are? I mean as a daily thing, they're just sticking around.
I've had a few drinks by now (~3-5?) and I'm not feeling anything.
Gah, to think I was sober for a few months, and then "handling it" and now... eh what did I tell myself.
 
Booze and benzos. Maintaining. I seem like a total winner at the office, with the case workers, getting everything done, busy all day every day, yet I am falling apart and I am in fact a loser. I make terrible choices all the time.

I recommend the movie Flight to any alcoholic, unless movies about alcoholism are a trigger. I feel I'm a less successful, less "important" (professionally) version of Whip lately. Keeping a buzz at all times, overdoing it all too often, and having learned to keep a poker face and act like everything's great. I don't think anyone suspects a thing. The k-pins help. But I've already had seizures, and I'm on seizure meds. All of this is a bad idea. Juggling too much at once.

Always back and forth with me. Just got out of detox a month ago after a seizure in front of my coworkers and my solution is adding another downer. I maintain because if I don't, when I'm sober I mean, it's like I'm immobile. It's like emotionally, even physically, I'm doomed.
 
I cant function with my drinking. I spend all morning afternoon and mostly evenings in bed just to be persuaded to finally get up by the phone call "wanna drink tonight?" None of my friends have problems but I do. I don't spend a dime on beer yet I can be and usually am drunk each night.
(edit - thats because im poor as fuck. when i do have money its no question to where its going... but to make the situation worse, not having money doesnt solve my problem)

Each morning its the same excuse for putting off important tasks. Today I realize it has been a month since I was supposed to pick up a script from the Dr. and apply to jobs in neighboring towns, each day putting it off because I am unable to function with the hangover. That means to me an entire month of being a bum. So I'm sober tonight, in the mindset of being "sick and tired of being sick and tired"


Do you think the initiative to stay sober and go balls to the wall in temp agencies until I get a full time job would be the biggest first step for someone like me? someone who CANT function as an alcoholic, but someone who is not physically dependent yet.

its soon that time of the year again where i'm supposed to go back to college but Im not sure it would be wise to invest more money knowing i might piss my grades away and be unable to return to another school. think im just going to start with the job. long hours heavy labor. something to keep me busy and tired and have money to reward myself.


does anyone else notice how you can just keep typing when youre writing a desperation post...therapeutic at least


edit: going to use this as a little journal to help me cope being that its now 2 am and i havent talked to anyone today and right now is the hardest. feeling extremely hopeless almost as if to die would be better. it keeps crossing my mind not that I want a drink now, but that I will indefinitely crave drinks. this makes me so sick. i cant grasp the term alcoholic. i wish when i started to party heavily around age 17 i understood how it would progress into addiction. back when it was cool to drink ~30 drinks a night and be so shit faced not sobering for 14+ hours after my slumber. 5 years of moderate drinking and only the last being heavy 3-6 days a week.

i knew before i was old enough to purchase my own shit, that when i went through my entire phone data and couldnt find a friend of a friend of a friend to get us alcohol, and i was extremely frustrated and let down... i guess thats when i really realized i was going to have a problem. Sure fucking didnt sink in! Heres to today after being drunk 5 or 6 nights in a row wanting to slow down... but thats what hurts the worse

I realize i cant slow down, I have to stop completely. I can't live with that right now. When i was 20 I did get so bad that I tried suicide often but always gave up on giving up at the last second, which really just ended up with a cutting habit. Thankfully that was short lived and I now value life, after the last and serious attempt at stabbing my wrist, waking up in a pool of blood just wondering how i was still here. Thats what really did it I guess, my will to live was stronger than my desire to bite the bullet and cut deep enough, or at least put a gun in my mouth. All of these ugly scars that everyone sees over my wrist, prejudging me as a lunatic, and then questioning the shit out of them, its all the fault of alcohol. This of course gives me some kind of strength and desire to push forward. I now treasure sadness and depression because I know how bad it could be, and how important these moments are in the development of my mind and also for the appreciation of happy times.

I just dont want to feel the craving. the 2-3 days of being sick in the stomach and having minor shakes and anxiety and shit, thats easy. I dont have a HUGE phsical dependence, but I guess if I said earlier that I have no physical dependence, I was lying to myself. running to the bathroom to be sick for less than a week is easy. Snapping out and cursing at the very air that I breathe simply because I desire a fucking beer that badly is the hard part.

Going to do some research on here about the whole alcohol cold turkey thing and go from there.
edit edit: search feature on this website for the terms Alcoholic, Alcoholism ... yields bullshit!
 
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Hello friends, hope all is well. double post yadda yadda, but I would just like to say that I'm working through day two and I got myself a job interview for friday!

I'm currently experiencing some anxiety and chest pain, minor shakes, decreased appetite, and facial warmth/flush. Feels feverish but I'm quite certain i dont have a fever. No flu like symptoms, I did spend a huge part of the morning hiking and doing camping activities to stay busy.

Not bad, however I want to ask if you think I'm in any danger of DT? I doubt it, but for peace of mind I would just ask clarification from experienced/knowledgeable folk. Habit was 20-60 beers a week, most times off and on days, never a HUGE binge longer than the one I'm just over now, which was only 4 or 6 days.
 
Alcohol, oh alcohol, oh how I struggle with this. I know I'm an alcoholic. And I know it stems a lot of wanting to block things out of my mind... anxiety/past experiences, etc...

I've been trying to cut back a lot recently; I'm taking psychiatric meds (mirtazapine and klonopin)... I don't abuse the klonopin, I take it for anxiety purposes (daily), but I know I'm soon gonna be weaned off it, and there's no way that's happening successfully if I get drunk almost every night.

I've been doing better, I no longer drink in the mornings, and the mirtazapine is subtly brightening my mood and helping me.

And now, today I'm sober, I think of the damage I've done drunk, the relationships I've destroyed, the people I hurt from all the nasty things I would say drunk... productivity during the day lost as I isolated myself (I preferred to drink alone).... and think, was it worth it for the temporary numbness it caused?

Of course it wasn't. But it's still an ongoing struggle. I do see a doctor about my mental health, and I really want my psychiatric meds to work, and I know I have to quit drinking.

It's hard. I never thought alcohol could be so powerful over someone. But it was over my mom, and now over myself.
 
Hi everyone :) I'm just another alcoholic/drug addict. There are a lot of us. Aside from coffee, I've been completely sober for over 2 years. It is possible. There are millions who were just like you and have now recovered. I worked the twelve steps and my life has improved drastically. If you have any questions please ask here or send me an IM.

peace, love and light
 
Hey there. This is my first post here and was looking for a little advice from ye guys who have been down the same path
Started drinking about 15 years ago. Pretty normal stuff, going out partying with friends and getting smashed. About eight or so years ago I started drinking daily, or nightly really, and this has persisted since then. The thing is I dont binge , I dont get smashed, have 2 or 3 beers every night. Other nights might be 3 or four glassed of wine. I dont feel it that much I guess my tolerence is fairly high at this stage anyway. I have a good job and the drinking doesnt effect that. The problem is I couldnt even consider not having a few beers every night. Its like my brain has been programmed to demand it. I have tried to quit a couple of times before but it only lasts a few weeks and then im back to the old routine... The other factor that scares me is that I have a family history of alcoholism and its only ending up one way. I need to stop drinking, just scared I just wont be able to make it last !
 
Hello, this is my first post. I joined mainly for the mental health and sober living sections of bluelight so I guess I will just dive in. Congratulations to everyone here who has been able to put some time between themselves and their drinking, right now it seems like you must have more willpower than I will ever posses.
Recently I have been drinking an average of 400 to 600 ml of vodka a day. I have been diagnosed with an enlarged liver, yet continue to be a fairly heavy alcoholic. So it's probably accurate to say I am drinking myself to death, but I really don't feel much emotion about that, or really anything recently. I have been depressed nearly my whole life, so compared to how I usually feel I am actually somewhat content feeling so blank and emotionless. I am sort of indifferent to living or dying, which I think is the main reason I have never had any success in therapy. However I don't want to hurt my parents. This is the main reason I know I need to stop, but when I wrote out the pros and cons of my drinking I realized there are a lot of other negative effects from my drinking, such as wasting all my money. I'm a anti social person and really, really want to just quit on my own and not seek help from any situation I would have to attend in person, but I am now facing a lot of pressure from my family to seek help after a recent incident where they caught me heavily drunk. So I may have to do so just to ease their minds.

I have tried many different therapists and councilors without ever getting much benefit. I have tried "smart" recovery meetings but did not feel welcome at all, possibly due to my anti social nature. I'm open to any suggestions, but I also accept there may not be any help for me because I can not seem to make myself want to live. Sorry to be a downer and thanks to anyone who trudged through my post anyway.
 
Blank bones, have you ever been to an AA meeting? Go to a small one with a bunch of grumpy old dudes. They were drunks just like you and have been sober for many years now. It works for many and in my opinion is very easy. If you have already given up then half of step 1 is finished.
 
Mehm, thanks for the reply, I am going to try an AA meeting out tonight which I think is bound to have some cranky old men due to the location. Somehow I have been expecting it to be too dogmatic for me, but I also recognize I should give it a try before forming an opinion. You post actually is making me feel a little more positive about it. Also, congratulations on your two years.
 
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