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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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Nobody posted since the 19th. !?
Hopefully, they are not in one of three places that AA is tirelessly advertises. (Jails, institutions or death) Like a Jim Jones commune.
...Or maybe...They're all cured?
Be good folks.
 
I quit today!!...April fools!!!
well, I kind of quit today. ...I didn't drink today, simply because I didn't want to. Whenever I feel like 'un'quiting, I just have a drink. Still amazed that I've reached a point in my life, where I can have a drink or not have a drink. It's not the end of the world whatever choice I make. It wasnt too long ago when I would be happy to drink myself into the gutter. I don't feel I'm any different from a lot of people on this thread,except I stopped treating alcohol like such a taboo, living entity, that's out to "get" you. Ultimately, it's completely up to the individual to make the choice to drink or not to drink.
Never been a firm believer of that "powerless" and a "sickness" that you are going to die with...
To me, it's a choice.
But whatever works, I guess.
 
Uh...as do I. Oh wait, were you referring to people's inability to take control and accept responsibility for their actions? Cause that's what I find disgusting. Just a tad above animalistic instinctual behavior. You were vague and very generalizing, which prompted me to draw my own conclusion.
If you were referring to the actual taste of alcoholic beverages, it depends on what it is and who's your mixologist.
 
This can be a bit of a tricky one. In my opinion, addiction is primarily a psychological disease of motivation (and as a neurological correlate, addicts have structurally distinctive dopaminergic reward pathways, these pathways also adapting differently to exposure to substances), whereby moment to moment urges to use substances come to be experienced as compulsions that override and undermine longer-term desires, goals, aspirations, etc. Because this is an affliction of motivation itself, it's a lot more complex than just deciding to take "responsibility" or "control". One needs specific cognitive and behavioral strategies to manage this conflicted motivational system and its neurological mechanisms. Now, there are many models, many tools from which one may choose to attack this problem; however, people tend to very rarely find success without employing such tools, pushing against the activity of runaway neurological circuits with their "bare hands" as it were.

That doesn't mean that one has to choose a cognitive tool that defines them as powerless though.

ebola
 
itchyscratchy said:
Uh...as do I. Oh wait, were you referring to people's inability to take control and accept responsibility for their actions? Cause that's what I find disgusting. Just a tad above animalistic instinctual behavior. You were vague and very generalizing, which prompted me to draw my own conclusion.
If you were referring to the actual taste of alcoholic beverages, it depends on what it is and who's your mixologist.
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Disgusting overall it's the drug that causes the most problems.
 
^^^Agreed. But let me play devil's advocate for a second by saying that alcohol, is the only drug that's readily available, legal and very socially accepted. Lets entertain the idea of not worrying about legal and social ramifications of being able to legally obtain and consume crack. That's just one drug that came to mind as having extremely destructive properties. You see where I'm going with this?
But I agree alcohol is very destructive.
 
itchyscratchy said:
I quit today!!...April fools!!!
well, I kind of quit today. ...I didn't drink today, simply because I didn't want to. Whenever I feel like 'un'quiting, I just have a drink. Still amazed that I've reached a point in my life, where I can have a drink or not have a drink. It's not the end of the world whatever choice I make. It wasnt too long ago when I would be happy to drink myself into the gutter. I don't feel I'm any different from a lot of people on this thread,except I stopped treating alcohol like such a taboo, living entity, that's out to "get" you. Ultimately, it's completely up to the individual to make the choice to drink or not to drink.
Never been a firm believer of that "powerless" and a "sickness" that you are going to die with...
To me, it's a choice.
But whatever works, I guess.
Click to expand...

I used to think the same, but for me personally it was something I wanted to use to rationalize.

As for addiction being a "taboo" or a "living entity" I never thought of it as such. Its just something I engage in because I am an addict. Not engaging it is not normal for me (though it becomes easier), because of this, I need to put work into not using. I have never been able to take or leave a drink. If I am drinking, I am doing it every day. It started this way almost immediately and I spent 15 years trying to control it. I had periodic success but it didn't last and I was miserable.

> But whatever works, I guess.

Why "I guess"? Frankly, I don't care how someone stays clean, as long as they are happy. I am not going to judge someone based on something as personal as methods of recovery.
 
A year sober today, was hard but I made it, alcohol is a tricky substance and wherever I go its always there staring at me. Was just in Japan and Hong Kong and the damn mini-bars in my hotel room were stocked. I was somehow able to make it through that without a drink, probably because my sister and I were sharing a room and if I drank she would've smacked me and told my parents, who would have crucified me upside down. Note my sister and I had separate beds, don't think weird things. Being surrounded by good people made all the difference for me to be successful in remaining sober. I will say that prior to getting clean this time I was completely function, going to school, making the grade, going to all my therapy appointments, cleaning my apartment, always driving sober, etc... but I did drink at night after I finished all my homework, Well my roommate told the therapy program that I was in about my drinking ( fucker smoked pot all the time) and I was shipped of to a glamorous rehab and my spirit was broken, ever since I've had no confidence, can barely get out of bed in the morning, it's tiresome to take care of my dog (I do it anyways), i escaped that evil rehab and moved home with my parents where I've been able to stay sober. I think my life was better drinking at night, gave me something to look forward to, and I never really had more than 8 drinks over 6 hours, oh well, it is what it is, I'm sober and somewhat proud of it despite wanting to return to drinking in a controlled manner, thus is life, I'll be fine, best of luck to everyone trying to stay sober or control their drinking
 
I'm a 'hardcore' AA also known as a Big Book thumper, there is nothing wrong with cooking with wine. The alcohol cooks out.
 
hydroazuanacaine said:
one year today.
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Congratulations. When I reached 10 years I thought it would be a good idea to get my sobriety date tattooed on my arm. Well at 18 years and 6months I got drunk and kept drinking for about 18 months. I've been sober now for several months this time I didn't notice the date because it really doesn't matter. Moral of the story? No, not one day at a time, none of that. The moral is don't tattoo the date :)
 
Alcohol is by far the hardest, one of the most harmful substances I've been addicted to.
It's also the only drug that's distinctively caused me the most problems in the past with employment.

Coming out of alcoholism is like pulling a deeply embedded hook out of my body. From that 4 hour mark without a drink to the next week, the experience was nothing but frightening and painful. Who knew that a bottle of liquor could have such a devilish influence?

It's so easily rationalized to go get another and another and another. One moment I am having a couple of drinks for breakfast, the next, I'm phasing in and out of my own memories at the liquor store. There was no confidence or pride in what was going on. It was true loneliness.

Upon cessation: I am pretty sure every organ in my body was in pretty bad shape. My pee was a dark brown color, I had zero energy, my face was bright red, heart rate sped up, could not sleep and I could not stop shaking.

The first few nights I took massive amounts of herbal sleep supplements with benadryl to help me fall asleep. Nothing worked. I couldn't stop fearing that something in my room was going to get me. I would finally doze off into a terrible living nightmare.

I was fortunate to have friends and family to help me out during the withdrawal and craving phase otherwise I would not have made it. Quitting was very worth it. There is a lot more on the outside world than there ever is inside a bottle of liquor.
 
8 months without alcohol. I also finally got funding for my PhD thesis project and have been working as a researcher for a month. :)
 
polymath said:
8 months without alcohol. I also finally got funding for my PhD thesis project and have been working as a researcher for a month. :)
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Awesome man. I remember when you first started posting about getting out of treatment.
 
^ I relapsed almost immediately when I got out of rehab last July, but then I started using disulfiram and haven't drunk alcohol since August.

The problem is, I've now been doing other drugs to "replace" alcohol. The alcohol addiction still exists in my brain, and I'm occasionally trying to use other substances to get a feeling similar to being drunk. Mostly DXM and opioids (codeine, poppy tea and even megadoses of loperamide). I don't use every day and I have no physical dependence, but I have 4-5-day long binges using opioids and my work performance is rather poor during those periods. Actually I feel I'm craving poppy pod tea right now when I'm writing this. I told my doctor and addiction therapist about this and we discussed the option of implanting a subcutaneous naltrexone capsule to prevent me from getting a high from opioids. I still haven't decided whether I want that.
 
polymath said:
^ I relapsed almost immediately when I got out of rehab last July, but then I started using disulfiram and haven't drunk alcohol since August.

The problem is, I've now been doing other drugs to "replace" alcohol. The alcohol addiction still exists in my brain, and I'm occasionally trying to use other substances to get a feeling similar to being drunk. Mostly DXM and opioids (codeine, poppy tea and even megadoses of loperamide). I don't use every day and I have no physical dependence, but I have 4-5-day long binges using opioids and my work performance is rather poor during those periods. Actually I feel I'm craving poppy pod tea right now when I'm writing this. I told my doctor and addiction therapist about this and we discussed the option of implanting a subcutaneous naltrexone capsule to prevent me from getting a high from opioids. I still haven't decided whether I want that.
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Few things:

1. Do you see yourself being able to use any of those substances successfully and without consequences. I know I couldn't. I fucking tried though. 100s of times.

2. Do you think you can use any substance successfully?

3. What is stopping you from getting that implant? Do you think that some day you can use them?

I cannot use drugs at all. Doesn't matter the type. If I can abuse it, I will. I abused the hell out of alcohol, I abused opiates, I abused coke. I abused weed. Shit, I have to be careful nowadays when I have a cold and really watch it if I need DXM. I was getting altered because I hated myself.
 
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