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Adderall GF

professoracid

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 10, 2016
Messages
26
LT lurker, here, so not really a n00b, per se. I think I had a profile years ago, but forgot my login, username, et al... Awkward first hellos have been posted in the new members' forum, so hopefully I'm initiated:

Anyway my long-term GF has got a really bad problem with the kiddie coke, plus I had always taken 30mg ER for ADD, which she'd steal if desperate enough.

Recently I switched to using Vyvanse, which she'd have no use for because she knows it's impossible to break the time release. Before the switch an Adderall script got filled, helped herself to a few of them, got confronted, copped to having "really messed up with my script this month.”

Felt really bad for her & doled them out until she could fill her new script (really only because if she were given the whole bottle she'd take them too quickly & didn't want to be responsible). Of course milady has her script now & binged heavily on them, so only has (unless there's a stash) like, twenty-odd count out of the original 90 after a mere two days of being filled – excessive.

She's prescribed a really over the top amount (60mg pd, IR), which is broken down as three 20mg pd & only ends up snorting the entire count within a week after filling - that's a pretty large dose for someone who doesn't have ADD or narcolepsy, so was thinking that maybe at some point there was some weird “under the desk" exchange to sweeten the pot for pdoc.

Likely that kind of thing only happens in the movies, but what the hell do I know.

Her behavior is wicked obvious to anyone, so not sure why pdoc would continue to write IR scripts & look the other way unless he'd some motivation to – which isn't cool, because she's got other MH related problems that are real intense. Taking advantage of a sick patient = WAY fucked.

Totally contemplating filing an anonymous report questioning the dose prescribed, and also even contemplated blackmailing the dude... but that's really unlikely. Overall I've no issue whatsoever with her ah, preferred sport & likely wouldn't act like such an uptight narc if she weren't so dishonest about it.
 
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Nobody uses SWIM anymore here. It does not protect you from prosecution. Sounds like your girl needs rehab, bad. She's heading down a badd path. Tell her she stops, goes to rehab or your gone. Simple.
 
Nobody uses SWIM anymore here. It does not protect you from prosecution. Sounds like your girl needs rehab, bad. She's heading down a badd path. Tell her she stops, goes to rehab or your gone. Simple.

Ah -- as mentioned I've not frequented this board for some number of years, was only using this acronym mostly out of shame felt alongside my absolute dickish behavior. Edit: totally edited that.

Yeah she wicked needs rehab, but is one of those addicts who doesn't even know or acknowledge that she's using to get high. I mean, I was a pretty raging drunk & milady insisted upon "Antabuse or GTFO" -- which probably saved my life, but still... I neither appreciate the hypocrisy, nor do I particularly like that I can't have a conversation with her about her own drug use, instead it's a stupid cat and mouse game of finding & throwing away straws, or coating the inside of them with Vaseline, blahblahblah - or whatever; all of which are pretty much again, dickish things to do.

Pretty much the the only part I really find off-putting is that she can't handle her shit: she's like up all night & then crashes for days, when she's tweaking she's a fucking monster bitch from hell -- totally has gotten violent with me on more than one occasion. Obviously I'm not going anywhere, though. Five years, I've proven I can handle it, just kinda wish she'd chill the heck out a bit.
 
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Sorry if I missed it, but what exactly is your question ?
I think you should check out The Dark Side and Sober Living for more helpfull advice :)


Yeah, guess I don't necessarily have a question. Maybe just venting & hoping someone will chime in with some of that "advice" unsolicited - that's pretty much how the Internet works, right? You know -- someone hones in on a few buzz words/points brought up here & thinks, "ahahaha, I totally blew my shrink for drugs once. I'm a' taunt this clown" - or something like that. Which, perhaps in the process of being completely cut down or whatever I get helped out somewhat. Weird how it happens that way, but it so very often does.

No - I put a ton of time, thought & research before putting this up. I'm completely & utterly serious about that. The word "amphetemine" should be enough to attract like minded thinkers, or trolls even. Or "Adderall" no?

Sorry but it totally belongs in this forum.
 
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Definitely sit down, and have a talk with her. Having her steal your medication for ADD/ADHD, and abuse you while she's high on it is not cool. Can you hide your stimulant meds, and put them into a lockbox where only you have the key? Or tell her how if she doesn't go to rehab you're going to break up? Ultimately, as I'm sure you know you can do these things but she has to want to get sober. What is she like when she's not on any stimulants?

Do check out the sober living forum, it's helpful.
 
Definitely sit down, and have a talk with her. Having her steal your medication for ADD/ADHD, and abuse you while she's high on it is not cool. Can you hide your stimulant meds, and put them into a lockbox where only you have the key? What is she like when she's not on any stimulants?

Really hard to tell "what she is like", per se... I'm not sure that anyone truly "knows her" at all. Her thing before stimulants used to be opiates - Oxy, morphine sulfate & Dilaudid, mostly. Honestly I much preferred her when she was practically comatose all of the time. Not that she's got nothing to contribute, but the anger, paranoia, hostility, blahblahblah, I'd rather not deal with.

As I'm sure you know it's all about the dopamine rush. So pretty much 'empty' is what I'd say best describes her affect: Sociopathic.

Like in some cop show or b-horror movie, where some cold emotionless serial killer snaps into a psychotic rage for a minute. Then that's over & she has no recollection of ever having been that way. Very dissociative; like hard to tell where the highs end & the underlying imbalances start. This is where the shrink is royally fucking up. He totally sees it - prescribed an antipsychotic when she was in the grip of a psychotic & delusional period, but didn't connect the stimulant dots. She went back worse & he only upped the dose on the antipsychotic.

Nah, I replaced the 30mg ER capsules with tumeric supplement. If it's dark enough, they're passable. She'll get the message. Other than that she dropped her stash in exhaustion after this last binge, so I tucked it away... I'll eventually put it somewhere she can find it, but she needs a break right now. Seems pretty gestapo-like, but really I'm not sure what else works - we can't "sit down and have a talk" -- she won't hear any of it.

EDIT: felt horrid about pinching her little "stash-box" and told her I "found it" behind the toilet.

That's all I've got to say, really -- again, I'm pretty much just venting. Anyone feels like piping in, cool; otherwise it's really my cross to bear.
 
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This isn't what you want to hear but don't lend her any cash, hide all your valuables and any prescriptions you have, find a new place to live and move in there and move all your stuff there, and then break up with her. Stay safe.
 
This isn't what you want to hear but don't lend her any cash, hide all your valuables and any prescriptions you have, find a new place to live and move in there and move all your stuff there, and then break up with her. Stay safe.

Nothing I've not heard before & thank you, that's very kind. But it's been five years & I know what's what -- she's a sociopath. For legit reals, not like some made-up Dexter nonsense... and it is pretty hard to care about someone who's not capable of returning those feelings, but to her credit, she really does try.

It's like, she wants to be that person & feel those feelings she tries so hard to project that this & the personality disorder almost cancel each other out. I can live with it -- the drugs are only part of reaching for those emotions she wants so badly. Just a matter of knowing what I can & cannot trust her with.
 
Nothing I've not heard before & thank you, that's very kind. But it's been five years & I know what's what -- she's a sociopath. For legit reals, not like some made-up Dexter nonsense... and it is pretty hard to care about someone who's not capable of returning those feelings, but to her credit, she really does try.

It's like, she wants to be that person & feel those feelings she tries so hard to project that this & the personality disorder almost cancel each other out. I can live with it -- the drugs are only part of reaching for those emotions she wants so badly. Just a matter of knowing what I can & cannot trust her with.

Get out of this relationship now while you still can. I speak from experience. You can PM (private message) me if you want to. Stay safe.
 
Man this doctor around where I lived killed himself because he was accepting handies and what not for any script a women could get and then he got caught. And I'm sure a ton of doctors do that. I would be just left. But I don't care about a bitch either. Lmao
 
Man this doctor around where I lived killed himself because he was accepting handies and what not for any script a women could get and then he got caught. And I'm sure a ton of doctors do that. I would be just left. But I don't care about a bitch either. Lmao

My own pdoc's helping me draft the report. We aren't going to lob any sexual misconduct allegations (as of yet, anyway), because even if the doc is found completely innocent - which he may be - it would ruin him.

Overprescribing meds, one can prob get off with fines & a lengthy patient safety course. Maybe. I don't know.

And of course there is that I DO care about a bitch. And very much.
 
Lol yeah it would be wrong to just throw allegations around. But I guess I can see where you're coming from. I can't stand that stuff and I just have known others in my life who have went through a similar situation and it's an incredible nuisance. I hope she finds help though and she can turn her life around though. :)
 
Lol yeah it would be wrong to just throw allegations around. But I guess I can see where you're coming from. I can't stand that stuff and I just have known others in my life who have went through a similar situation and it's an incredible nuisance. I hope she finds help though and she can turn her life around though. :)
The crap part is that I really wouldn't give two fucks if she weren't such a damn jerk when she's high.
 
The crap part is that I really wouldn't give two fucks if she weren't such a damn jerk when she's high.
fuck i hate that, my girls straightedge which for me is strange because being sober is the worst. either way maybe you should confront her about this shit and tell her she needs to cut the shit out since she is a jerk or you could just get out of the relationship lol.
 
It's your girlfriends fault though! Why blackmail the doctor and ruin things for the rest of us?


You need to be having a talk with your girlfriend because she needs help.
 
It's your girlfriends fault though! Why blackmail the doctor and ruin things for the rest of us?
You need to be having a talk with your girlfriend because she needs help.

Hrm. Why the hell shouldn't I blackmail this jerk - and how exactly does this "ruin things for the rest of [you]"?

I mean, I'm not actually going to, but it would be a lot of satisfaction in watching the maggot squirm... meaning of course, if anything like that ever really did happen. I'm certainly not about to make an accusation like that if the guy's done nothing wrong.

HOWEVER: what this person HAS done wrong is prescribing this dosage of an amphetemine-based medication to a patient who's been suffering visual hallucinations & to not even question that this Adderall she's taking may have something to do with it!
As said, she went to an appointment suffering from delusory parasitosis - substandard "matchbox" in tow and all - a patient with NO HISTORY OF SUCH DELUSIONS, and all the pdoc did was prescribed her the Seroquel.
(ALSO: another antipsychotic would have been FAR more effective- Seroquel is like fricking Candy Corn to delusionals.)

Yes, yes, yes -- the Seroquel helped FOR ABOUT FIVE DAYS - give or take, I don't know... WHEN did she begin seeing "bugs" & "worms" everyplace again? Yup. Probably guessed it:

As soon as she filled her next Adderall prescription.

Methamphetamines are the drugs du jour, currently... there's sooo much published research out there & this particular dude is published well, and no doubt reads a lot of peer-reviewed shit. SOOO he's at very least completely, utterly fucking lax in his duty as one of her 'trusted' MH providers in not connecting the Speed Dots.

Dude should've knocked that dose right the hell down once she came back worse a month later & he only got short with her because she was late, upped the Seroquel dose. NO. BADDD PDOC. VERY BAD.

Look, I realize it's easy for some people to talk shrinks into writing max dose scripts & then, there's a shit-ton of pdocs who, well... just don't fucking care. That doesn't make anything better -- it makes the entire profession look bad. No, my own pdoc agreed that this guy's being irresponsible, and we're drafting an anonymous report. No sex allegations, only a concerned question of "this particular psychiatrist may or may not be aware of at least one of his patients abusing their meds, also, patient(s) have/has been prescribed a rather excessive dosage for their particular ailments."

--- or some shit like that.

Yeah - as also said, I really can't have this "talk" with her. We've already had it, many times. She lies - and so very poorly - right through her teeth about her overuse. Of course pathological lying is another nifty sidebar ailment that so very often comes with antisocial personality disorder --- and my poor SO has the sad, fucking cursed misfortune of NOT BEING ABLE TO LIE HER WAY OUT OF A BOX OF FRICKING HAIR. Sucks to be her. Quite badly.

Really? I totally appreciate the advice, and I'm not sure at all what I'd hoped to hear/read in posting about this crap... maybe nothing -- maybe just needed to vent. So there is that... and so then there's the follow-up "thank yous".
 
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