tazz20
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
- Messages
- 167
You might just really enjoy masturbating more than sex with others... due to social anxiety. OCD is about compulsively doing things to prevent obsessive thoughts causing anxiety/worries. Imagine you may not "have OCD" but are doing an OCD-like pattern to avoid rejection or anxiety of intimacy or... whatever (there's many other "phenomena" that may prevent you from naturally seeking out sex with others? I can't know as I seek sex out with others and haven't all the personal knowledge I could on such a subject?).
I will relate this to post getting clean "using dreams" I get. They will become less frequent with time.
Wet dreams normally happen more when you're younger, less when you're older. At your age I'm not surprised you're getting them but, how many times a month are you having an orgasm?
Like how many days will you go between orgasms no matter how achieved?
How long can you go on average before a wet dream happens in your sleep?
Part of good sex is creating a feeling of being at ease in yourself and between you and your partner to help them become at ease, forming a connection while having sex, respecting each other's boundaries, doing what feels good for both of you etc. A lot of this is 100% "unnecessary" in masturbation. Sex might be seen as "work, psychologically trying" etc. to people who are not "into it".
It's important to have sexual experiences at appropriate ages/times in your life to start learning how to have an interpersonal connection with someone on that level. A lot of it is "lost on someone" with a rich inner life (which porn pushes you further into and normally does not draw you out of).
Honestly porn does not "do it for me" and I'd have to be frustrated beyond belief and backed up to want to jerk it off to porn now.
It would be really disappointing to fool around with another guy only to find out that you don't like it, are still sexually-socially anxious and feel trapped more into a "jerking off routine".
Let yourself have fantasies about what you want. Don't be afraid to experiment or fool around with men or women that you want to and feel comfortable with / are open and honest with.
There might be a bigger "expectation" on sex with women for whatever reason; I cannot know (because I'm not actively aiming for sex with women... I'm really not, nor have I had sex with women in ... a long time...).
If your thoughts are mostly on you/your body during sex it is possible you are gay (but again I cannot know, I'm not straight) but when I had sex with women normally my thoughts were on both of our bodies, not just mine... if that makes sense. The same goes for now (if I was just thinking about my body during sex I wouldn't have sex, I would just masturbate). I really get off with someone else thinking about both of us.
Do you have problems socializing or talking to people you know as friends or family? How about strangers? Is it easy for you to strike up a random conversation with someone?
I would not consider myself generally socially anxious. There are those times where conversing with anyone can be awkward if I don't know them well or not in the best mindstate. But in general I would not say I have issues talking to friends and family. I would say I have definitely have had confidence issues talking to women however. I just feel my brain at this point only really knows porn and what my hand feels like. I guess it's because there is less pressure on me. I have never actually brought a girl to bed with me that I was attracted to when seeing her naked. That combined with the pressure to perform can't be good for me. I know ever since I was 13 there were probably some guys who I felt a certain way towards. It's hard for me to explain. I never got off at the thought of actually having sex with another guy. I have googled images of big penises before so I'm not sure what that actually means lol and I enjoy the site of it when I watch heterosexual porn. I find having a drink or 2 in me can do something do my libido. I made out with a girl once who I wasn't totally attracted to but this was with some alcohol in me. I also had my first actual case of blue balls and I'm pretty sure I was precumming a bit during the act. I'd say I'd have an orgasm maybe a few times a week if I'm masturbating. However, it's not really the same sexual enjoyment it used to be for me when I was younger.You might just really enjoy masturbating more than sex with others... due to social anxiety. OCD is about compulsively doing things to prevent obsessive thoughts causing anxiety/worries. Imagine you may not "have OCD" but are doing an OCD-like pattern to avoid rejection or anxiety of intimacy or... whatever (there's many other "phenomena" that may prevent you from naturally seeking out sex with others? I can't know as I seek sex out with others and haven't all the personal knowledge I could on such a subject?).
I will relate this to post getting clean "using dreams" I get. They will become less frequent with time.
Wet dreams normally happen more when you're younger, less when you're older. At your age I'm not surprised you're getting them but, how many times a month are you having an orgasm?
Like how many days will you go between orgasms no matter how achieved?
How long can you go on average before a wet dream happens in your sleep?
Part of good sex is creating a feeling of being at ease in yourself and between you and your partner to help them become at ease, forming a connection while having sex, respecting each other's boundaries, doing what feels good for both of you etc. A lot of this is 100% "unnecessary" in masturbation. Sex might be seen as "work, psychologically trying" etc. to people who are not "into it".
It's important to have sexual experiences at appropriate ages/times in your life to start learning how to have an interpersonal connection with someone on that level. A lot of it is "lost on someone" with a rich inner life (which porn pushes you further into and normally does not draw you out of).
Honestly porn does not "do it for me" and I'd have to be frustrated beyond belief and backed up to want to jerk it off to porn now.
It would be really disappointing to fool around with another guy only to find out that you don't like it, are still sexually-socially anxious and feel trapped more into a "jerking off routine".
Let yourself have fantasies about what you want. Don't be afraid to experiment or fool around with men or women that you want to and feel comfortable with / are open and honest with.
There might be a bigger "expectation" on sex with women for whatever reason; I cannot know (because I'm not actively aiming for sex with women... I'm really not, nor have I had sex with women in ... a long time...).
If your thoughts are mostly on you/your body during sex it is possible you are gay (but again I cannot know, I'm not straight) but when I had sex with women normally my thoughts were on both of our bodies, not just mine... if that makes sense. The same goes for now (if I was just thinking about my body during sex I wouldn't have sex, I would just masturbate). I really get off with someone else thinking about both of us.
Do you have problems socializing or talking to people you know as friends or family? How about strangers? Is it easy for you to strike up a random conversation with someone?
I agree with the feeling of ease. I would try to bring girls back to my room just for the sake of "getting it in" and even with foreplay there was always a lot of pressure on me. I'd like to believe with the right girl with the possible help of cialis/viagra I will be able to make it happen, but I probably need to be in a good mindstate. I am not convinced I am quote on quote gay because I feel like I still like women. I always enjoy porn with women in it. I think my brain is just on burnout right now so my feeling for sex are confused.