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28 year old male. libido pretty much gone since I was around 23

PrincessDiz said:
I would definitely also cut back the MDMA use. Once a month is a bit much and it will definitely effect you negatively.

Also you said you seen a urologist? Did you ever get your test levels checked? If you’re low in test you’ll have less desire and libido.
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testosterone came back normal. I think he's still looking into some things if I remember but I'm apparently "normal and healthy." I mean I do obviously suffer from anxiety but I guess I got the gist of what he meant. I would agree that my issues with erections is probably mostly psychological but I really need that libido back :/
 
atara said:
Your body is working; your mind isn't.

My guess would be to give your mind a little help. Sex happens in context, but not in your context. Try reading or watching some kind of romantic fiction or movie, anything with a well-developed storyline. It might help you recover the association between sex and positive feelings.
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yep this is how I see it. I can still wake up pretty stiff and if I'm relaxed enough I still have some form of sexual mood in the morning but it will often diminish in the evening sadly
 
Captain.Heroin said:
giving up porn should definitely help. there is reason to believe viewing porn/history of porn watching can interrupt sexuality. I can't exactly explain or put it into words well.
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I think it must rewire the brain somehow. I know a lot of this is probably theory but it makes total sense.
 
tazz20 said:
I think it must rewire the brain somehow. I know a lot of this is probably theory but it makes total sense.
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How you relate and act to others is largely or entirely learned behavior. Watching porn is training your brain for minimal input like a woman (subject is already naked on a digital screen, ultimate protection from rejection) and maximal affected action (increased chances for orgasm). This may change how you mentally view, picture, think about, etc. the opposite/same sex, yourself, the partner etc.
 
a few perforated stamps you wet them stick them to your flaccid dick, go to sleep, if they are unbroken implies ED issues. If they are broken implies psychological hang ups.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
How you relate and act to others is largely or entirely learned behavior. Watching porn is training your brain for minimal input like a woman (subject is already naked on a digital screen, ultimate protection from rejection) and maximal affected action (increased chances for orgasm). This may change how you mentally view, picture, think about, etc. the opposite/same sex, yourself, the partner etc.
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Do you think I'll ever be able to reverse this issue?
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
Are you depressed? That can effect someone's libido or sex drive.
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I've definitely had depressive symptoms throughout the years. There were plenty of times where I would feel pretty ok on medication (little anxiety and depression) but I debated if I didn't have a sex drive/libido at the time because I know it's known to be a potential side effect of that drug class(ssri's). During this quarantine and a bit before it I have not felt amazing either and I blame that on my body adjusting to being off the meds and indulging in mdma usage more than I should (probably not always the more pure stuff either)
 
Stay off MDMA. Stay off antidepressants. Let yourself accept your feelings and let them move on naturally don't fight them and see if you can rotate naturally to sexual feelings.
 
I notice that if
Captain.Heroin said:
Stay off MDMA. Stay off antidepressants. Let yourself accept your feelings and let them move on naturally don't fight them and see if you can rotate naturally to sexual feelings.
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I noticed that if I don't masturbate for several days I will still have "wet dreams" where I cum in my sleep. These are however dreams of me masturbating, not dreams of having sex. I guess that is probably a positive sign
 
I also often question my sexuality itself. Like maybe I'm bi curious. can be a bit confusing, especially with my anxiety and overthinking of everything
 
tazz20 said:
I notice that if

I noticed that if I don't masturbate for several days I will still have "wet dreams" where I cum in my sleep. These are however dreams of me masturbating, not dreams of having sex. I guess that is probably a positive sign
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You might just really enjoy masturbating more than sex with others... due to social anxiety. OCD is about compulsively doing things to prevent obsessive thoughts causing anxiety/worries. Imagine you may not "have OCD" but are doing an OCD-like pattern to avoid rejection or anxiety of intimacy or... whatever (there's many other "phenomena" that may prevent you from naturally seeking out sex with others? I can't know as I seek sex out with others and haven't all the personal knowledge I could on such a subject?).

I will relate this to post getting clean "using dreams" I get. They will become less frequent with time.

Wet dreams normally happen more when you're younger, less when you're older. At your age I'm not surprised you're getting them but, how many times a month are you having an orgasm?

Like how many days will you go between orgasms no matter how achieved?

How long can you go on average before a wet dream happens in your sleep?

Part of good sex is creating a feeling of being at ease in yourself and between you and your partner to help them become at ease, forming a connection while having sex, respecting each other's boundaries, doing what feels good for both of you etc. A lot of this is 100% "unnecessary" in masturbation. Sex might be seen as "work, psychologically trying" etc. to people who are not "into it".

It's important to have sexual experiences at appropriate ages/times in your life to start learning how to have an interpersonal connection with someone on that level. A lot of it is "lost on someone" with a rich inner life (which porn pushes you further into and normally does not draw you out of).

Honestly porn does not "do it for me" and I'd have to be frustrated beyond belief and backed up to want to jerk it off to porn now.

tazz20 said:
I also often question my sexuality itself. Like maybe I'm bi curious. can be a bit confusing, especially with my anxiety and overthinking of everything
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It would be really disappointing to fool around with another guy only to find out that you don't like it, are still sexually-socially anxious and feel trapped more into a "jerking off routine".

Let yourself have fantasies about what you want. Don't be afraid to experiment or fool around with men or women that you want to and feel comfortable with / are open and honest with.

There might be a bigger "expectation" on sex with women for whatever reason; I cannot know (because I'm not actively aiming for sex with women... I'm really not, nor have I had sex with women in ... a long time...).

If your thoughts are mostly on you/your body during sex it is possible you are gay (but again I cannot know, I'm not straight) but when I had sex with women normally my thoughts were on both of our bodies, not just mine... if that makes sense. The same goes for now (if I was just thinking about my body during sex I wouldn't have sex, I would just masturbate). I really get off with someone else thinking about both of us.

Do you have problems socializing or talking to people you know as friends or family? How about strangers? Is it easy for you to strike up a random conversation with someone?
 
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