Beginning with a "joke" that says "go fuck yourself"... I wonder how that could be considered crude
Ah... I was trying to make the "yer too young to do ______" point but I see where it could have been misinterpreted.. and come on. You laughed.
Guys lets be serious here, this kid is probably not going to read our responses and say, "Well gee willicker I will wait a few more years before I try pyschedelics." He is 16. We all know how it felt to be at that age.
First off, if you're going to do something, please lay off the mescaline. I've done a ton of LSD and mushies in my day, but mescaline is saved for a rare night. You have your whole life to dabble in psychedelics, don't drive the race car before you get your license.
I say...... again. Stay safe and trip safe. Have a comfortable environment which includes not only the people you surround yourself with but also the location in which you drop. My buddies and I had an awesome time at the San Diego Zoo one time... but I wouldn't recommend that for your first time you get my meaning?
Do it somewhere with lots of couch cushions and preferably with someone who has done it before and can watch you. The last thing you want is to think that flaming zombie unicorns are stampeding your house and you need to call the fire department.
Your trip is either going to be good or bad or just kinda mehhh if you're one of those extremely rare types that doesn't get a kick out of psychs. It will all be about mental state. Hopefully because it's your birthday, you'll be in a good mood.... but if you have repressed feelings, things you hold back from everyone, a dark side, yadda yadda.. that may come out in the worst of ways and give you a bad trip. Nobody likes a bad trip, but that is why you do it in a comfortable place. You can always get rid of a bad trip with help from your friends or sleep it off. Keep your brain in a good place all day.... shit.. just think to yourself, "dude I'm going to drop acid wooohooo."
These are just my experiences so take them as you want. Acid is a long mental, visual, and physical trip... you're in for the ride all night and won't sleep until the next day if the stuff is good. Take a tab, work up from there. Never take too much, always take a little because with LSD if you don't feel high enough, you can always take more and it WILL use your previous dose as a stepping stone. No loss there. The come up is different for everyone but you should be good about 30 minutes to an hour after you take it. The come down is not very bad in my opinion. Maybe some restlessness both physically and mentally, but most of the time I've been so tired I just crash for 12 hours and wake up a bit groggy, but ready to get back to life.
Mushrooms are also intense physically and visually. I don't get as much of the mental soul searching with mushrooms as I do with LSD. You have to eat mushrooms. This sucks. They do taste like poop. You also have to make sure your mushrooms are good quality and not moldy. I used to eat my mushrooms with a can of Arizona Peace Tea to wash them down.. it always worked well. The first time I did them I did about 1/16. Like with LSD you can always work your way up. Mushrooms can come back up.. not fun, you won't lose your trip, but sometimes it puts your mental state into a bit of a depressive one.... see above for mental states. The come up is pretty quick and the high is shorter than LSD for me... the comedown on shrooms for me is always one of those "everything is yellow, why can't I sleep yet" comedowns... so they are good for groups and music later at times.
Whatever you do choose, just have fun and be safe. Don't surround yourself with assholes or extreme type A personalities. You want to have a good trip, something that you can look forward to again.
Also... that shit is almost a year away. Update us closer to the real date so we remember.
Peace, man.