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12 days clean and just texted my dealer....

I got a couple of hours of sleep last night and I am feeling really good and refreshed. Its strange but I enjoy the next few days after doing shrooms way more than the actual experience itself. I always get a fantastic after glow. When I was riding home on Saturday night my friend started blasting U2 "Beautiful Day" when it came on the radio and I gotta admit that I was feeling fantastic in that moment. Well when I woke up this morning I got a surge of happiness and that song was playing in my head. I never wake up feeling like that. I have a lot to be excited and about. I will be starting a new job, getting my tax return and then I can start to pull myself out of the hole I dug for myself. I feel so blessed to have yet another chance at a fresh start and a new life. I feel like anything is possible in this moment and I even have my own personal sound track that will not seem to stop playing in my head....lol,
 
JessFR said:
That's awesome. I love music too. It's probably the only thing apart from drugs that can so profoundly and readily affect my emotions. :)
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Most people don't appreciate music for what it is
 
Atelier3 said:
@GetMeOutOfThisCRAP and @JessFR I like your metaphors and I'll add one I call piece of the puzzle

I tried a large variety of drugs over the years before I settled on d-amp and m-amp as my DOC. It seems to me that I always felt an important piece of me was missing or unknowable and I had trouble being genuine self and feeling my genuine feelings and I always felt a bit lost. However, and no douby related to my ADHD diagnosis, these drugs seem to close the loop and complete my sense of self. Each time they hit I pretty much say " ah there you are Atelier, nice to see you again, where have you been hiding". It's like a reunion. All the missing or disconnected bits of my mind just feel like they have slipped into the correct place.

The problem with giving up these drugs, which I would of course like to do and sooner rather than later, is that I feel I'll be watching my whole self disappear into the abyss like Leonardo di Caprio in that Titanic scene - never to be found again.

I always wondered if people on opiates had a similar kind of feeling?
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I love that titanic anagram that's how I felt the first time I got high on opiates I felt so good but guilty because I'm smart and I knew I should not be feeling that good and I probably just fucked my life up well 6 years later I've used daily for all those 6 years
 
thefirm said:
@jose ribas da silva in brazil in the bocas from the favelas, are cocaine and weed really sold for only 5 bucks? I saw some documentary about the scene and I was surprised to see coke at 5 bucks, it's probably cut to shit I suppose
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you can have almost whatever you want in Brazil at a good price, except education, healthcare, security.. but we don't have corona virus, suck that bitches.
 
jose ribas da silva said:
you can have almost whatever you want in Brazil at a good price, except education, healthcare, security.. but we don't have corona virus, suck that bitches.
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well, it does not matter if there is a good price, anyway no one will have money to buy it, because no one has money in Brazil, you know, we eat from the trash, sharing bananas with monkeys
 
I have an anteater in my house and I use it to control the ants that use to dominate my cannabis plants but they have a hidden ability that most people don't know, it can find succulent larvae which I use to eat when I don't have money to buy food
 
at least we have naked woman on the street corners, swinging the purse to call attention, you know? things happen like that.. have i mentioned the huge amount of ladyboys? Thailand is for the weak, those who like small dicks.
 
boobs man I see boobs all the time, jumping in my face.. . because of that I have developed incredible sexual approaches for nipples, that's the secret, listen to this poor brazilian don juan, nipples can be explored easily, with hands and tongue, in public places, once jose's tongue or fingers reach there, there will not be a comedown, from there to bed
 
in bed it is necessary to take care with the coke dick that is, one cannot drive one's train high on cocaine, otherwise, you know? disappointment
 
jose ribas da silva said:
in bed it is necessary to take care with the coke dick that is, one cannot drive one's train high on cocaine, otherwise, you know? disappointment
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I have seen, nevertheless, the coke-dick does not apply in situations where there is sex with ladyboys, midgets, or bizarre stuff... it is the contrary, strange, cocaine make you stronger, prompt to suffer and get the desired pleasure
 
JessFR said:
That's awesome. I love music too. It's probably the only thing apart from drugs that can so profoundly and readily affect my emotions. :)
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Music is incredible. The thing I like most about music is its ability to impart euphoric recall and transport me back to different moments in my life. I can remember first loves, being a child, breakups or feeling lost and found.... any range of emotion. I can access the most freeing and painful moments of my life at the press of a button. My friend put on U2 beautiful day right after I had my first DMT experience this weekend and I woke up with the song playing in my head this morning. Now I cant stop listening to it because it has been transporting me over and over again back to how I felt in that moment and I feel like my soul is being transcribed by the message. The song truly was apropos for the moment and my life in general right now as I climb out of addiction.
 
jose ribas da silva said:
I have seen, nevertheless, the coke-dick does not apply in situations where there is sex with ladyboys, midgets, or bizarre stuff... it is the contrary, strange, cocaine make you stronger, prompt to suffer and get the desired pleasure
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What the hell's wrong with you? Stop flooding people's serious threads with delusional nonsense.
 
somnilicious said:
Music is incredible. The thing I like most about music is its ability to impart euphoric recall and transport me back to different moments in my life. I can remember first loves, being a child, breakups or feeling lost and found.... any range of emotion. I can access the most freeing and painful moments of my life at the press of a button. My friend put on U2 beautiful day right after I had my first DMT experience this weekend and I woke up with the song playing in my head this morning. Now I cant stop listening to it because it has been transporting me over and over again back to how I felt in that moment and I feel like my soul is being transcribed by the message. The song truly was apropos for the moment and my life in general right now as I climb out of addiction.
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Hey Brother,
It IS a Beautiful Day!!
❤💋
 
I start my new job today and I'm still a mess from the opies. I only got about 1hr 45 minutes of sleep and awoke in a cold sweat from a dream where a panther was chasing me around a tree house and a bunch of trees. Really nervous because this is a customer service type position so I will be interacting with people a lot. I am still just so insecure about myself in so many ways. It's going to be a good day though. I just gotta reframe my anxiety as excitement.... Good luck with that one...lol.

I hope everybody else has a good day.
 
somnilicious said:
I start my new job today and I'm still a mess from the opies. I only got about 1hr 45 minutes of sleep and awoke in a cold sweat from a dream where a panther was chasing me around a tree house and a bunch of trees. Really nervous because this is a customer service type position so I will be interacting with people a lot. I am still just so insecure about myself in so many ways. It's going to be a good day though. I just gotta reframe my anxiety as excitement.... Good luck with that one...lol.

I hope everybody else has a good day.
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Good luck I hope everything goes well!

Be careful in your consumption of psychedelic drugs, you are in a vulnerable state at the moment and you need to trust the people you are around if you do them. I'm glad you had a good experience though.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I also had this weird experience where an alien being told me everything was going to be okay on DMT so that's far out you got experience that 2
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I would elaborate but I've written it up in a trip report.

I've had some crazier times since then as DMT is a bit too... like scary and feels like dying and it's like an unpleasant death. There's "pleasant death-like" psychedelic experiences I'd rather do to be honest. DMT Is just like... way far out.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I would elaborate but I've written it up in a trip report.

I've had some crazier times since then as DMT is a bit too... like scary and feels like dying and it's like an unpleasant death. There's "pleasant death-like" psychedelic experiences I'd rather do to be honest. DMT Is just like... way far out.
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Not going to lie.... I have been thinking about it a lot and I already plan on going back. I loved it. It was like going home to the place that I have always wanted to go. I will however not be doing shrooms anytime soon. I actually prefer doing psychedelics by myself and though it won't be soon, I will probably be taking LSD again sometime in the future but I have consistantly good effects from it.
 
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