Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

[Erikmen]

For some people it takes a while until rock bottom, I had a friend who used heroin recreationally for years, he OD’ed with a ridiculous low dose after quitting for a couple of weeks. Sometimes the nausea is just like when we first start smoking - for days in a roll you feel dizy, a bit sick and even disgusted by the taste, but years later there’s a different habit but also quite difficult to quit.

As I always say, it’s different with cigarettes as it’s available, legal and you do it hourly without having any social issues or problems with the family, etc. Still, it can kill you. But on a different perspective it’s tricky to quit when it’s everywhere else.

 

[ShroomySatori]

You should try it if you despise every aspect of yourself, and are so selfish to the extent that no family or friend nor lover has any meaning to you, and you wish to die a slow, viciously painful death and lose your spirit and awareness in the process. You seriously lose EVERYTHING. Everyone pays a very serious price and only the strongest survive. And everyone who lives to tell the tale regrets it immensely.

That being said, I can't say I regret it personally because once I got clean I will never be the same. I can never take life for granted again, and I am enjoying every moment being OFF this satanic bullshit. I will have two weeks this Friday. I am never going back, ever. And if it happens, I will pick myself right back up again if I even survive.

DO NOT DO THIS YOU FOOLISH FOOL WHO IS EVEN SO MUCH AS THINKING OF TRYING IT. DO NOT, YOU WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE AND IT ISN'T WHAT IT SEEMS.

Do you really want to find out for yourself? Are you that much of a masochist?

 

[Runningfox]

^^^^ shroomy
Sometimes I think individuals are drawn to Whatever seems the most Dark, most sinister, most challenging, most rebellious.
But oh my.... all our dear BL friends who have suffered down this road. ... hundreds? Thousands? Advising, warning, even begging others NEVER to touch heroin.

What an awesome and selfless and decent and loving community.

 

[SheWasLvL18]

Do you guys think that just trying it once is kind of the point-of-no-return? I accidentally tried it last week not knowing it was heroin, it was in an Afrin bottle and because we were in Las Vegas I assumed it would be cocaine. After trying it I used it a few more times throughout the few days we were there and while I don't think I used much, I can't deny I liked it and I worry that even though I am not seeking it now, a week later, I now have the rest of my life to go back to it. I have tried a most of the common drugs: cocaine, amphetamines, weaker opioids, benzos, etc. What are my chances of coming back to this one? I know I have to not think about it because I have found that I always seem to find what I think about the most, whether that's good or bad for me. However, the only drugs that have ever truly caused me struggles were benzos.

 

[Erikmen]

It can be a point of no return, but it can also take years to get the habit. As a street rule, at the end one always end up addicted or suffering trying to be sober. We are all different but this is a powerful drug so try to distance yourself from what may harm your life entirely.

 

[SheWasLvL18]

It can be a point of no return, but it can also take years to get the habit. As a street rule, at the end one always end up addicted or suffering trying to be sober. We are all different but this is a powerful drug so try to distance yourself from what may harm your life entirely.

Oh yeah I'm fully aware I can't even attempt to control this drug. What I'm afraid of is 3-5 years down the road trying it again and not having the same thought process I have now of "stay the hell away"

 

[keeping]

= What I'm afraid of is 3-5 years down the road trying it again and not having the same thought process I have now of "stay the hell away"

then just don't take it 3 or 5 years down the road, or ever again if that what worried you/

 

[ShroomySatori]

Oh yeah I'm fully aware I can't even attempt to control this drug. What I'm afraid of is 3-5 years down the road trying it again and not having the same thought process I have now of "stay the hell away"

If I were you I'd be more worried about using any sort of opiate or opioid 3 - 5 weeks down the road. Keep in mind if its vice or percs or heroin, it's all the same spirit stealing garbage.

I would recommend watching a documentary on youtube entitled Brian on the Boulevard, and also one called Black Tar Heroin.

Since the seed of Satan has been planted, you need to be careful today, and every day for the rest of your life.

 

[SheWasLvL18]

If I were you I'd be more worried about using any sort of opiate or opioid 3 - 5 weeks down the road. Keep in mind if its vice or percs or heroin, it's all the same spirit stealing garbage.

I would recommend watching a documentary on youtube entitled Brian on the Boulevard, and also one called Black Tar Heroin.

Since the seed of Satan has been planted, you need to be careful today, and every day for the rest of your life.

good point and I will check those out. 1 week down, 2700 more to go 8(

 

[Erikmen]

Oh yeah I'm fully aware I can't even attempt to control this drug. What I'm afraid of is 3-5 years down the road trying it again and not having the same thought process I have now of "stay the hell away"

It’s up to you! Only you can prevent that. Appreciate the freedom you have in your life, the friends you make. Life can be fun. You don’t need heroin to achieve anything. You are so much better without it. Trust in yourself.

 

[Tubbs]

In a fucked up way im glad i ended up on meth. the night i started doing meth i actually went looking for heroin. i know for me opiates have always been harder to control than stimulants. i am 100% positive that if i had gotten h that night i'd still be using

 

[Erikmen]

Meth is not easy either. Be careful there, especially if you are young. Seriously, it can do a lot of harm as well and it’s difficult to quit. Why are you using? Have you done it for a long time already?

I don’t want to be the one who preaches - there’s no judgment from me at all. When we are young the future is not as scary. A young person addicted to drugs is one thing but when you are on your 30s or even 40s is way more depressing and IMO- much more difficult to quit. Seek for your motivations, different groups.

 

[Tubbs]

im actually 3 months clean almost 4. i used heavily for 2 years. like i said stimulants have always been easier for me walk away from than opiates. did coke and morphine speedballs back in high school, walked away from the coke pretty easy, the morphine was a much different story. im gladly substance free at the moment, no drugs, no alcohol, no cigs.

 

[Erikmen]

That’s great bptubbs!

I have also started very young reason for which I sort of hope that you go on like you are doing now until you are older. There are certain things that happens early in life that set a tone in you forever. For me it was falling in love and then work. If I had not experienced these things I don’t know how I would have managed to quit.

 

[Tubbs]

yeah losing the love of my life because of my struggles with mental illness, which were exacerbated heavily by the meth usage, is what convinced me to quit. its true what they say, sometimes you have to lose everything to find the right path.

 

[ShroomySatori]

good point and I will check those out. 1 week down, 2700 more to go 8(

I am just shy of three weeks after not only wasting 5 years of my 20's, but suffered so unbearably that it has traumatized me, there will always be a risk of relapse for the rest of my life, and after a couple years I couldn't catch so much of a buzz anymore. I was using around 100 times the dose I started off with not to get high, but to be able to get out of bed. If I had any sort of responsibility and didn't have opiates, I wouldn't even understand the word commitment at the time. All I would know is excruciating pain. I sniffed it the whole time, doesn't matter which way you use it really except IV in my opinion is wishing for a suicide.

I know at this point that I will never go back. It got so bad, that I would rather die than take so much as a percocet for as long as I live. I also have back problems so there was an initial "reason" for using, but I suffered so much that I hardly notice what used to be excruciating chronic pain in my spine anymore.

Don't make the same mistake. You already made a huge mistake be trying it. Those documentaries will give you a glimpse of what can happen at the end of the line. I was personally very lucky in regards to my habit in which "all" that ended up happening was I blew 10's of thousands of dollars - all my savings from career jobs - found myself unable to work (after 2 weeks clean I had a job again and I'm loving it), I lost interest in all my hobbies, I not only lost interest in sex but was incapable of even having it, and all I cared about was getting high. I didn't even realize what was going on because for the first 18 months or so before I ran myself broke, I was doing really well for myself - holding jobs, was in school, etc. I just wasn't ever truly myself, and I'm sure people could sense it but I was fucked up to begin with and all but my brother had given up on me anyway. So, luckily nobody except him and a couple lady friends knew about this as the shame of being discovered for what I was... even if I got clean like I am today, nobody would ever look at me the same way again.

It can bring me to tears just thinking about it sometimes. When I think about opiates, I don't think I have ever felt so much hatred towards anyone or anything in all my life. I haven't had a single craving yet, but thing is that snake will return to strike when you least expect it. When you're in your sleep.

I cannot begin to describe how miserable an experience I was. I wanted to die at the time, I have myself on video and also writing explaining how worthless my life was and how I wished cancer upon myself to put me out of my misery. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life these days. I would just try to let go of the idea entirely instead of counting the days. If you count the days, it will remind you of Satan.

 

[SheWasLvL18]

I am just shy of three weeks after not only wasting 5 years of my 20's, but suffered so unbearably that it has traumatized me, there will always be a risk of relapse for the rest of my life, and after a couple years I couldn't catch so much of a buzz anymore. I was using around 100 times the dose I started off with not to get high, but to be able to get out of bed. If I had any sort of responsibility and didn't have opiates, I wouldn't even understand the word commitment at the time. All I would know is excruciating pain. I sniffed it the whole time, doesn't matter which way you use it really except IV in my opinion is wishing for a suicide.

I know at this point that I will never go back. It got so bad, that I would rather die than take so much as a percocet for as long as I live. I also have back problems so there was an initial "reason" for using, but I suffered so much that I hardly notice what used to be excruciating chronic pain in my spine anymore.

Don't make the same mistake. You already made a huge mistake be trying it. Those documentaries will give you a glimpse of what can happen at the end of the line. I was personally very lucky in regards to my habit in which "all" that ended up happening was I blew 10's of thousands of dollars - all my savings from career jobs - found myself unable to work (after 2 weeks clean I had a job again and I'm loving it), I lost interest in all my hobbies, I not only lost interest in sex but was incapable of even having it, and all I cared about was getting high. I didn't even realize what was going on because for the first 18 months or so before I ran myself broke, I was doing really well for myself - holding jobs, was in school, etc. I just wasn't ever truly myself, and I'm sure people could sense it but I was fucked up to begin with and all but my brother had given up on me anyway. So, luckily nobody except him and a couple lady friends knew about this as the shame of being discovered for what I was... even if I got clean like I am today, nobody would ever look at me the same way again.

It can bring me to tears just thinking about it sometimes. When I think about opiates, I don't think I have ever felt so much hatred towards anyone or anything in all my life. I haven't had a single craving yet, but thing is that snake will return to strike when you least expect it. When you're in your sleep.

I cannot begin to describe how miserable an experience I was. I wanted to die at the time, I have myself on video and also writing explaining how worthless my life was and how I wished cancer upon myself to put me out of my misery. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life these days. I would just try to let go of the idea entirely instead of counting the days. If you count the days, it will remind you of Satan.

Thank you for sharing that story, I'm glad things have been going better for you and I hope you continue leading happier days. I think you're right about "counting the days" as well, I now realize how insanely foolish it is to be constantly reminding yourself of something like that and I think just fantasizing about it would somehow bring it back into my life.

I really appreciate what you guys said (Erikmen, Shroomy Satori, and bptubbs) and I think I need to rethink my priorities and what I want out of life, so again thank you all.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Let it be... whatever it is you want out of life, it is not H. Trust. Go with the flow, you might be overthinking things a little.

Things are wonderful for me these days, I have a new job that I really love. I'm helping a lot of people, working from home, and since I work with asians the job practically necessitates tripping out all the time on psychedelics as I am up all hours of the night working and I have withdrawal insomnia still... I've been doing a ton of 2C-C anyway to help distance myself from the error of my ways. It's like the perfect job somehow found me when I least expected it and just went for it... I feel like the same thing is happening with women too but that is harder to find than a job... well maybe not. I think I am overthinking that way too much LOL.

So many things have improved, I've met so many amazing people lately too (including several beautiful women... H suppresses sexuality right in a pernicious way, but when it gradually starts to happen and you lose control, it is totally emasculating. As a junkie I couldn't have had sex if I wanted to, which I didn't... now, well I suppose you can see what is on my mind LOL.

I am super happy with my life, everything is as perfect as can be. I want a hot chick though and I am going to get one. No rush though... I already have enough material to work with and I seem to be attracting all different kinds of beauty in my life through the power of subtly psychedelic and powerfully positive thinking. My reality is like looking into a mirror. An external manifestation of how I feel internally, and with heroin there was nothing but darkness... now there is nothing but Light and Beauty and everything is falling into place for me.

Never been happier in my life... I better not fuck it up this time or tbh I deserve to be dead. If I don't get it this time, I'm going to lose everything including my life.

Haven't had a single craving yet. The very thought of it is vile and disgusting, despicable and beyond regret. However, once you get clean this deadly snake seems to bite you in your sleep, when you least expect it. Similar to how you are counting the days... the Monstrosity is already getting you thinking bad thoughts... let it go... just forget about that shit and move on.

You can't be foolish if you are posting here and already aware of the predicament by the way. Yes... trying it was very foolish, but you seem to have recognized a lot more quickly than others, even having enjoyed it (a lot of people don't, but if you do enjoy it... better watch out if you give a fuck about your life).

 

[SheWasLvL18]

That was a fun read and it put a smile on my face Also for some reason the part about 2C-C and asian businessmen, created an image of an asian willie nelson in my head lol. I'm glad you are doing well, it really helps to see someone doing well after such a hard time. Also, I'm sure in time you will find the right person you have a warm spirit so it will draw people to you. Despite the subject matter you have an infectious optimism and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

 

[ShroomySatori]

lol, that made me smile as well. Even giggle a bit as I am tripping... had to stay up all night and work til 630am. Making dinner now at 7am LOL I am seriously on an other planet and just loving it. It is not just women (that is the most confusing part, that has my mind confounded and brains scrambled presently)... it's the new job, the creative outlets I never even knew existed... it's just everything is so fucking beautiful. My relationship with my younger brother has been phenomenal... we are the only people who actually really know and understand each other. Everyone else in our family doesn't have the slightest clue, and we tell each other silly secrets that our parents would murder us over.

I have no doubt about everything working out, I do not even need to try in order to attract so much beautiful energy and positivity into my life. I have several new creative outlets and ways to express myself that I picked up while getting clean and are sticking around as lifelong passions. I have never been so creative and active in all my life.
The job is hilarious because I am really helping a lot of asians, who in turn have provided me the research chemicals that are practically a necessity at this point anyway for me to be good at my job. So I get paid for my work which is really nice and chill stuff, it's so fascinating I don't think I could describe it online, apart from it being so trippy that I would feel bad about my life if I wasn't tripping out during working hours to get the best experience out of it. It is the first job I have had that I truly adore.
Plus, I am working all hours of the night so the 2C-C helps me keep alert and awake... and it's super nice to spend money on something other than dope for once. As a dope fiend, by the end of it every single penny I had went to smack. Tens of thousands of dollars. I spent like $400 at the mall the other day while meeting chicks (I already know, and also a cute new little foxy surprise who I chatted up for an hour or so while she was working LOL) and it was just lovely... I have no regret about spending money on stuff that I really like and isn't self destructive behaviour and allows me to express myself creatively further and further until I am orbiting the planet in an ethereal realm and my body is on autopilot just untying all the knots for me to release my spirit into infinity and beyond.

I have such a joyous love for every moment of my existence, and looking forward to my lovely future (especially the hot chick, I am getting way too confused because I am attracting too many of them... and I am attracted my "type" by reflecting my personality through my appearance. It's really no wonder that I am attracting without even trying the most attractive women of my dreams... there are just too many now that I am getting confused so I am just going to let things work out on there own, sit back and go with the flow of the ever changing manifestation of conscious energy that is existence in The Void.

I think I have lost my marbles a little but nobody seems to notice and I'm just lovin it so I don't even care... insanity is sanity and sanity is insanity. I am bouncing back with some sort of vengeance composed of psychedelia, hardcore electric guitar, lovely photography, journal writing, flying through literature, staying up all night every night because I love life so much I don't even want to sleep anymore (and I'm still "withdrawing" apparently)...my life is perfect to me, I have never actually been happy like this. Took nearly 30 years and I can't deny I am killing it with these ladies but I'm not even trying or really flirting. Actually forming really chill connections and friendship is the basis of any good relationship, really... so I'm not in a rush but I hope I don't have to wait too long as I can only trip out for so long and I am so ready for that like a healthy relationship that won't turn to cold metal and stardust over time... plus if you get off H you become a horny little fucker as you've been numb down there for so long. It can lead to embarrassment LOL as the average male junkie has around 25% of normal testosterone levels... it made me asexual. It was the most emasculating thing ever.

I don't care about the past anymore though. I learned from it, now it is time to enjoy life to the max before it's too late!!! I am so happy and ecstatic these days that I am making new friends at rapid fire pace... on H I was so miserable I wanted to be alone with my dope. It was FUCKED, that shit seriously fries your brain.