- Joined
- Oct 26, 2022
- Messages
- 4,456
Yeah there is no doubt in my mind. I function better as a father ,husband, employee ect when I’m not on it. I feel good about myself and my accomplishments. I know that in a few day to a week my hobbies will become joyful and interesting to me again. Like stated above. Some part of me loves to suffer, loves to punish myself. See me as nothing more than an imposter that doesn’t deserve what he has.
Same - I even go as far as to use masochism to intentionally regulate my ego.
Regarding ones ability to function, so happy to hear that you're better off sober.
Personally, I often feel that I have no place. Sometimes I even feel I functioned better as an addict, in a fringe society. Maybe even enjoyed the characters better.
It's times like these, where I feel under appreciated by the prosocial world, after walking out of a corporate job, and putting so much effort into doing the right thing my whole life.. inordinate amounts of mental gymnastics just to merely fit it.. these are the things that make me glorify drug use.
Not to hijack the thread. Just needed to get that thought out if my head. My question of if I'm even supposed to be trying to fit into society. Maybe I should accept the stark differences.
Of course I could twist and leverage my strengths, try to minimize or improve on weaknesses, right?
Or, I could just fucking get high.