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MDPV Megathread 5: Waiting for Jesus to show up

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Dedbeet said:
Hey, did that meph ever come in, Smokea? I think I'm through with peevee for now at ca. 16 hours into the party... just been no fun this time around, and would definitely prefer a break at this point. Nice cup 'o kratom to warm up with in a few hours, and mebbe restart the party in a day or two. Now we get to see if there's actually such a thing as "willpower" with peevee =D. Actually, there damn well better be, cuz at the rate I'm going I could have half my shit left in a week.
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ok yeah, the meph came in. Came in in a big way. I got it from a new supplier, and the product is right on point. I've been going so fucking hard, I'm not sure how to come down lol.

I even freebased some and smoked it. Holy shit balls! I died and went to mephedrone heaven!
 
You know what I hate about peevee? It isn't the binging, isn't sleep deprivation, isn't not eating right, isn't the effects of the drug.

It's getting lost in a single activity in front of the computer for like 8 hours, and suddenly realize I've been repeating the same meaningless nonsense over and over (forgetting even food and water) trying to "get something perfect" that was fine in the fucking first place.

Single minded, obsessive focus utterly free of perspective. Fuck, I hate that. There's a bat-like blindness to this drug that hears nothing but high pitched squeaks beyond range of hearing -- missing both the "whoosh" of the hunter's net and the music of the lover's harp. It's both gainless and lossless, caring nothing for either -- just those inaudible squeaks.

This drug is empty, and not in any zen/spiritual sense (e.g. simultaneously full, cup runneth over). It's just plain empty -- exclusive of/sacrificing fullness for the sake of emptiness, meaning for the sake of the meaningless, and caring about that fact for the sake of not giving a fuck. Once consciousness lands solidly in this drug's universe, why *not* binge beyond all reason? At least until you've done enough hits to have taken a significant hit.
 
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yeah i wish my computer would spontaneously crash when on pv.
 
hmm, ive been up for 24 hours now, and i don't like waking up in the afternoon. pondering the idea of staying up one more day
 
T-36 hours straight here, and I've been in "hyperfocusine" never-land for at least 24 of those. The fucking punding might as well be unconsciousness, IME (unless perhaps it involves self-harm for someone, like skin picking).

I never, ever had punding so bad from peevee until I ventured into smoking it -- now it gets heavy-duty to the point of just not being there at all on an unpredictable basis. Is this what peeps vape peevee for, so they can lose touch with reality in favor of captioning and re-captioning photoshop images several hundred times in a row? Strange. "Smoking it is such a rush". Really? Even when you aren't there? :?
 
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--- said:
hmm, ive been up for 24 hours now, and i don't like waking up in the afternoon. pondering the idea of staying up one more day
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Might as well make it an even 48... that may be what I end up doing, until it becomes an even 48 and it's time to make it an even 72 :?

Smoking it always does this to me, every time... even if I only smoke it on and off while using it. And it speeds up the party's eventual deterioration by anywhere from a factor of two to ten, and makes the eventual "crash landing" anywhere from two to ten times worse. Yet I seem stupid enough to consider it a worthwhile or fun component of a peevee party. WTF?
 
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i fell asleep anyway, but it was shit, heh. had some kind of terrible dream involving my mother.
 
Coming down off PV, I'm really suprised how little I care... about anything or anyone. I felt like I could watch a close friend die in front of me and have no qualms.

Thats why I like this mephedrone so! Such a happy, ego softening drug. I actually got to sleep last night and managed to put away the powder so I could save it for later. Later being right now! Well, I'm gonna smoke a couple bowls, cuz \its impossible to get stoned on RC stimulants. Then I'm railing some bubbles and going to school and see if anyone can tell. Fuck yes, and I got a speech in poly sci today!
 
SmokeaJoint said:
Coming down off PV, I'm really suprised how little I care... about anything or anyone. I felt like I could watch a close friend die in front of me and have no qualms.
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Indeed -- although I couldn't personally say how (much) dopamine affects emotions, because I'm not ordinarily an emotion-based personality - having essentially transcended my own emotive psyche (most emotional needing and fearing).

Not saying I don't feel anything, or that peevee doesn't feel different than baseline (it damn well does). Ordinarily I care about everything in a carefree way, if that makes any sense, living moment to moment. On PV I neither care, nor care that I don't care, despite life still occurring on a moment to moment basis.

Normally I see life as its own meaning and purpose just as it arises, moment to moment. On PV I see life as meaningless and purposeless just as it arises, moment to moment. That's the basic difference.
SmokeaJoint said:
Thats why I like this mephedrone so! Such a happy, ego softening drug.
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Have heard that about it, and also that it can turn evil and malicious. No real worries there with PV... maliciousness and evil require you to care, and that doesn't happen with PV til sleep deprivation gets critical.

P.S. despite popping plenty of L-Arginine, I've got ye olde "red stim hands" going again... in fact the arginine seems to have made it worse. If it isn't vasoconstriction, I just don't get what it could be from.
 
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SmokeaJoint said:
ok yeah, the meph came in. Came in in a big way. I got it from a new supplier, and the product is right on point. I've been going so fucking hard, I'm not sure how to come down lol.

I even freebased some and smoked it. Holy shit balls! I died and went to mephedrone heaven!
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Same feeling often with PV... "going so fucking hard, I'm not sure how to come down". Unfortunately this run has been anything but heaven... started off poorly mixing kratom with peevee and getting awful jitters, then a friend came over with coke, beer and cigarettes and I proceeded to mix in even more poor mixers. Now it's ca. 44 hours in and feels like 88, easy. Pfft... I'm not complaining, just 'reporting', which for some reason is something I particularly enjoy on PV. I guess it's the crystalline mental focus, which is one of its few really strong points... seems to stick around for me even when perception goes haywire.
 
Hi Dedbeet.

I dont mean to appear to come across as rude, but I have to ask this...

Are you an achiever in life? Do you have a career or your own buisness or something, or are you happy within yourself?

Im not judging but you cant help but wonder by reading this if theres anything else you actually do in life other than take this stuff permanently if you see what I mean, lol. :)

I mean come on now, it had to be asked, this threads pretty extreme.

Dee
 
Its a perfectly normal and logical question, does he have anything else to do in his life thats of any relevance other than just take this stuff, its common sense really.
 
Hi dee_dee,

dee_dee said:
Hi Dedbeet.

I dont mean to appear to come across as rude, but I have to ask this...

Are you an achiever in life?
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Decidedly not -- I'm an almost pure "be-er" rather than doer, a pure "type B personality" (if you will). So type B that I'm currently uninterested in a career or business and am utterly contented on the public dole and happy with whatever may arise.

Im not judging but you cant help but wonder by reading this if theres anything else you actually do in life other than take this stuff permanently if you see what I mean, lol. :)

Dee
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Well, I've got a few friends, but only a few... normally I like to listen to music, or even the refrigerator motor or kitchen fluorescents humming without taking my own subjective thought-patterns to represent an objective reality.

I'm actually not much of a peevee user, having binged on it once or twice a year at most since first running into it in '03/'04. It's just that I love to *gabbing endlessly about it* when on it, it seems ;). I also post somewhat regularly on a number of "non-dual" (e.g. zen, advaita vedanta, taoism, etc) spiritual-type forums, which you could say is my other main interest of note.

P.S. I never get bored, because boredom is just too active a doing to be of any interest here. It takes freakin' work! ;).

Peace...
 
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Thanks very much for answering and hopefully not taking offence. It had to be asked, I sometimes catch glimpses of your posts and its like your permanentley on this stuff or something, lol.

Peace out.

Dee
 
dee_dee said:
Thanks very much for answering and hopefully not taking offence.
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Nope, none at all. Despite you doing the writing, your words are "heard" here as my own thoughts as I read them, appearing on my own computer screen... what's there to take offense to? Offense only happens when one other-izes and then projects one's own reaction onto that other.
It had to be asked, I sometimes catch glimpses of your posts and its like your permanentley on this stuff or something, lol.
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I can see by my posting pattern how someone could get that impression... and find it ironic that I actually use it so rarely, taken on an "overall basis".

Peace...
 
@ Hr. 50 and doing PV *very* lightly... oughtta just stop & go to bed, but as usual I don't feel like stopping and yet can't deal with moderate to large peevee doses at this point... so's it gradually starts becoming "peeveeing for the sake of staying awake" (we probably all know that familiar yellow "dead end" sign). Got 1.1g Monday and there's at least 800mg of that left, easy.
 
Questioning smoking/vaping again

I continued to be puzzled by the attraction of binging on smoked/vaped MDPV, aside from the absolutely immediate rush to be had.

The whole thing is a state of mild to moderate dopamine psychosis from beginning to end, in my experience, starting on the first day of smoking it -- and that's not even touching on the insane levels of punding (getting totally lost in meaningless, obsessive activity) that are involved.

I figure everyone reacts to it differently, so this post of course is meant to reflect only my own experience. The shit is just too goddamn powerful and simultaneously moreish when smoked, meaning you're in a state of continual dopamine overload/borderline psychosis from start to finish.
 
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