Most people would say alcohol. But alcohol does not affect me the same way as most people.
I'm too much in my head with alcohol - instead of pumping me up and lowering my inhibitions, it mellows me out even more than my already mellow self, and it increases my inhibitions because now I have this part of me that is like an auto pilot that is working on overdrive to steer me back on track. It must be the best auto pilot there ever is or will be because it does its job really well. Thing is though, I can't shut the damn thing off! So I keep drinking to shut it off until eventually, not long afterwards, I just end up feeling tired, and fall asleep. Drunk people call it passing out. I call it sleeping because I don't really get drunk...per se.
So yeah, can't really let go on it. I don't think I can stagger on alcohol too, no matter how much I drink. I can walk a straight line, up until the point I pass out (sleep).
Weed makes me even more mellow...only now I am mellow and paranoid. Not a fun combination. Hate social settings high off weed.
So I guess I am looking for something that has the effect (on normal people) of alcohol, MDMA and Coke.
Let me explain...
I think I do have social anxiety because I have a mental block in social settings. I am looking for something that would take away that block, thus eliminating my inhibitions. Social butterfly comes to mind. At the same time, and most importantly, I need the "speed" aspect of coke (or meth?). Meaning: I am very mellow and low energy by nature. Completely different than everyone else in a high energy party setting. I need to be able to switch to high energy, physically.
I've already tried Gabapentin and Xanax. All they did was increase what I already am...mellow. So basically, they accomplished the opposite of what I wanted.
I need this substance to be in the form of a "prescription drug". I also need it to be able to work within the same day because I will just be taking it probably just once or two times to just see how things would be with me in that state.
TL;DR: Again, I have a metal block in social settings, too much in my head, can't really let go. Looking for a prescription drug that would make me high energy, social, talkative, inhibitions free, carefree.
Appreciate your input guys!
I'm too much in my head with alcohol - instead of pumping me up and lowering my inhibitions, it mellows me out even more than my already mellow self, and it increases my inhibitions because now I have this part of me that is like an auto pilot that is working on overdrive to steer me back on track. It must be the best auto pilot there ever is or will be because it does its job really well. Thing is though, I can't shut the damn thing off! So I keep drinking to shut it off until eventually, not long afterwards, I just end up feeling tired, and fall asleep. Drunk people call it passing out. I call it sleeping because I don't really get drunk...per se.
So yeah, can't really let go on it. I don't think I can stagger on alcohol too, no matter how much I drink. I can walk a straight line, up until the point I pass out (sleep).
Weed makes me even more mellow...only now I am mellow and paranoid. Not a fun combination. Hate social settings high off weed.
So I guess I am looking for something that has the effect (on normal people) of alcohol, MDMA and Coke.
Let me explain...
I think I do have social anxiety because I have a mental block in social settings. I am looking for something that would take away that block, thus eliminating my inhibitions. Social butterfly comes to mind. At the same time, and most importantly, I need the "speed" aspect of coke (or meth?). Meaning: I am very mellow and low energy by nature. Completely different than everyone else in a high energy party setting. I need to be able to switch to high energy, physically.
I've already tried Gabapentin and Xanax. All they did was increase what I already am...mellow. So basically, they accomplished the opposite of what I wanted.
I need this substance to be in the form of a "prescription drug". I also need it to be able to work within the same day because I will just be taking it probably just once or two times to just see how things would be with me in that state.
TL;DR: Again, I have a metal block in social settings, too much in my head, can't really let go. Looking for a prescription drug that would make me high energy, social, talkative, inhibitions free, carefree.
Appreciate your input guys!