Thanks I'm trying. I wish I had gotten the borderline personality diagnosed sooner it might have made me consider some different decisions in my past treatment.
I wish I could check back into the hospital but they told me if I got admitted again they would petition to send me to the state hospital which has a gnarly reputation for neglect and violence. So I kinda feel like I'm out of options.
Besides the more I read about borderline personality disorder the more it seems medication isn't the Frontline treatment. Medication is all the hospital phych wards around here have to offer. I guess DBT therapy is the gold standard for treatment but it's expensive and time consuming. Then again the alternative sucks. I'm just trying to figure this shit out in my head.
DBT is some amazing stuff, even for other disorder. But for DBT it's phenomenal.
That's pretty fucked up about your hospital. I've been really impressed with how much more accessible DBT has become in CA over the last five years. Pretty cool.
I think a friend of mine with BPD did DBT therapy (if not exactly DBT, something very very similar). You'd NEVER guess she ever had this kind of problem from the encounters I've had with her. Very strong, cool, calm and collected individual.
I don't want to promote anything unrealistic, but is there no way your mom would send you out of state for treatment? If you have insurance, or if you get insurance in another state, it wouldn't necessarily be too expensive given her limited finances right now.
Also, it seems like it would be a really good idea for you to really try getting on disability.
With you diagnosis of BPD and history of trauma, it shouldn't be too hard to get onto it with if you can just find a compassionate/understanding doctor to support you. That would also help give you more options of finding care, because Alabama sounds like it has really poor mental health treatment options (like, shit all, if you'll excuse my language and the fact I've never been to your home state).