Cotcha Yankinov
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Low blood pressure upon standing up (hypotension) can be common after taking some drugs, and will cause these visuals with regularity.
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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)
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Low blood pressure upon standing up (hypotension) can be common after taking some drugs, and will cause these visuals with regularity.
I usually have a "light headed" feeling, feels like I'm floating and bobbing. It's worse when I don't sleep well.
I'm not sure how to describe it, its a combination I think. Moving my head produces dizziness that kind of feels like the high when I was on MDMA (I was pretty gone when I last dropped, whole word was spinning around) but like if I'm walking up the stairs when I'm feeling particularly bad I'll sometimes lose track of the steps and nearly miss one because I'm so light headed, if I concentrate the room will breathe as well. I've tried paracetamol which seems to help slightly but it's still pretty bad
Myh1234. I had really bad dizziness and balance issues, when I tilted my head or when objects where close to my eyes which caused dizziness. I'm 6.5 months in also. Mine has substantially got better. It's still there but it's reduced to the point where it's no longer a problem. Mine only stared to get better when I started to weightlift 3/4 a week
hope this helps
hope this helps
yeah that's probably it, it's actually a bit entertaining for the minute it's happening, but not something I'd want permanently! Do you think all these mini relapses I'm having are delaying my recovery? This sucks so bad.
Clonodine hadn't been doing much for sleep either, granted it's only .1mg. It maybe has a slight calming effect but that's it.
Got better in my case after 10-11 months, especially after I took a SSRI for 1 month. Now I only experience it when I feel very stressed or drink too much coffee.
Cotcha Yankinov
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If you're getting lightheadedness I think you could really benefit from some consistent cardio and a solid diet (sorry I can't remember if you're into cardio - if you are great, keep it up and it will improve along with a lot of other symptoms that may not seem related)
I wouldn't worry about the mini relapses. It seems like the scatter plot of recovery that got posted forever ago here is really spot on - good times and bad times, but on a long enough timeline, an overall positive trend.
Just FYI, .1mg is an extremely low dose. I don't know if you would start to get very tolerant or dependent on a .3mg etc dose or if the lightheadedness would become a bigger problem but that's something to talk to a doc about.
Hang in there.
Cotcha Yankinov
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
- Messages
- 2,952
The current mental illness theory is essentially that its a mix of environment and genes - some genes are more deterministic than others (especially in stressful environments) but there can be an environmental component even to things like schizophrenia.
Stress might also just speed along the onset or worsen severity in people who would develop bipolar or schizophrenia anyways.
I started a Vitamin D therapy yesterday because I realized that I hadnt spent a lot of time in the sun this summer and have low weight so there is less storage capacity and it's also now about 5 months without UV-B light in austria.
Initial dose were 50.000IE Vitamin D3 together with 300 micrograms of Vitamin K2 and 500mg Magnesium.
Today I feel really better, my mood is definetly lifted but not in an unpleasant way and I can concentrate much better and also relax faster. The next few days I'll stick to 10.000IE/day together with the other 2 supplements in the same dose and then reduce to 5.000IE/day.
Vitamin D deficiency can cause depressions and also concentration problems and may be the reason why some of us feel bad especially in the colder months.
To see how much Vitamin D you have in your blood take a blood check and then calculate how much Vitamin D you need.
Lower doses among a longer period of time are safer to the body but then it also takes longer to show effects. Dosages up to 4.000-10.000IE/day are tested safe in adults if taken in winter months for several months. When the UV-B wave concentration is high enough again, supplementation is not needed.
Always use Magnesium with it to antagonize the higher calcium levels and avoid muscle spasms and calcium plaques. The protective effect of Vitamin K2 together with D3 is not proven, but K2 is not toxic even in higher doses so it's definetly not bad to take it.
This is only a RECOMMENDATION, to be sure always ask your doctor!
Initial dose were 50.000IE Vitamin D3 together with 300 micrograms of Vitamin K2 and 500mg Magnesium.
Today I feel really better, my mood is definetly lifted but not in an unpleasant way and I can concentrate much better and also relax faster. The next few days I'll stick to 10.000IE/day together with the other 2 supplements in the same dose and then reduce to 5.000IE/day.
Vitamin D deficiency can cause depressions and also concentration problems and may be the reason why some of us feel bad especially in the colder months.
To see how much Vitamin D you have in your blood take a blood check and then calculate how much Vitamin D you need.
Lower doses among a longer period of time are safer to the body but then it also takes longer to show effects. Dosages up to 4.000-10.000IE/day are tested safe in adults if taken in winter months for several months. When the UV-B wave concentration is high enough again, supplementation is not needed.
Always use Magnesium with it to antagonize the higher calcium levels and avoid muscle spasms and calcium plaques. The protective effect of Vitamin K2 together with D3 is not proven, but K2 is not toxic even in higher doses so it's definetly not bad to take it.
This is only a RECOMMENDATION, to be sure always ask your doctor!
Last edited:
So I don't seem to react well to direct norepinephrine reduction. I Tried a Clonidine-like med Tenex and it does nothing for the more depressive type aspects of the LTC. Actually I think I feel more depressed and sexual desire is also lower. I could see a naked girl and I won't even care. Kinda scary...
Does this mean that high norepinephrine is probably not the issue *right now*?
Does this mean that high norepinephrine is probably not the issue *right now*?
Sure that's possible, I'll look how it's going the next few weeks.
Just dropping in to share my story and tips from over the past few months!
My journey with (what I believe to be) the LTC began in August last year. Rolled for the first time with a friend I thought was experienced but turns out he wasn't. Although I'd been on BL browsing a lot it was mainly around opiates as I've bounced between various opiate addictions over the past few years. I stupidly didn't research harm reduction in advance and had ~700mg of MDMA powder over the course of the night. It was great! Didn't have any issues afterwards as such and in part because of my enjoyment of euphoria I'd known over the years from Opiates (but so much more intense) but also naivety rolled again about 3 weeks later. This time I rolled over 2 nights and based on how much we brought I estimate I had close to 4g over that weekend. In hindsight I know how stupid this was! Over the course of the second night I went into this phase that lasted about 3 hours where every 20 seconds or so I'd get a feeling of intense heat run through the body and have trouble breathing. The person at the time said "oh you're just rushing" but I now know in hindsight that these were hot flushes from panic attacks.
A couple of weeks went by and things seemed okay. During those 2 weeks I went cold turkey from the current opiate (codeine - 800mg a day) with the help of Pregabalin (which I had from existing GAD diagnosed by the GP) and things went okay for a week or so.
Then I did something very stupid - In my search for a "high" I spent another weekend/2 nights rolling with someone else. This time I had around 3g over the 2 days. The comedown from this was harsh and when the problems began. The next day I was bedbound for ~6 hours with the hot flushes and panic attacks not that that's what I knew they were at the time.
After this things were completely different in my life. I noticed I had visual snow. Not to intense but enough to be noticeable enough. The main issue for me though was an intense DP/DR. I had no idea this was related to the MDMA I didn't make the connection and instead thought it was PAWS. I also started to develop real anxiety. These symptoms stayed fairly constant and I was able to manage the DP/DR by binging on the Pregabalin when I could.
About a month after that weekend I got so sick of the feelings and just wanted to feel happy again I went and blew it again....this time ~6g in one night. There was no elation at all this time and I only felt amphetamine like effects.
2 days after then when I was in therapy (for opiate addiction) I started having the hot flushes again and had a panic attack during the session. I put it down to the Sertraline I started that morning (50mg starting dose) but of course the therapist knew what it was and pointed it out immediately. I didn't believe her and became convinced that the SSRI was giving me serotonin syndrome from that one pill (even though part of me knew the mdma would of been largely out of my system being 60odd hours later at this point).
The drive home is when shit hit the fan. I was convinced death was imminent and called an ambulance. I now know this was a panic attack but at the time I thought I was dying.
After that day the main problem became the anxiety for me along with increased further VS, DP & DR. I ended up relapsing on the codeine in an attempt to escape the feelings but if anything it just made it worse as any slight change in body feeling (even taking a paracetamol) I would notice and this would trigger an errant thought that would lead to anxiety and feelings of impending doom.
It was a couple weeks after the ambulance event that I discovered this thread and the past ones! - Everything suddenly made sense and clicked into place.
I was able to talk to the GP - who upped the Pregabalin to 900mg a day to help with the anxiety (and it really does help for me - although it increases my DP/DR but I find I care about that less now!) and gave me the info to take up mindfulness and know what to ask my therapist.
There's so many stories in between (as I'm sure you all have!) and so much pain BUT I now feel the end is in sight!
Although it doesnt feel like it day to day I completely agree with the person that said it flows up and down overall but with a positive trend over time! - Week to week I'm different but if I look back to where I was months ago I'm a world away and it makes me feel positive for the future.
I'm lucky now that my husband moved to the UK from the Middle East a month ago and this has helped massively! - I find company and distracting social interaction to be the best non-pharmaceutical remedy for anxiety and these LTC problems.
I would say now that I'm at 75-80%. I'm also clean and sober again (20 days and counting) and that of course helps massively. I can only imagine what the opiate addiction and subsequent cessation has done to harm my recovery with all the dopamine flying all over the place.
Other things I find that help/I take in case anyone's interested:
- Lyrica/Pregabalin: The best for my anxiety. I have tried benzos but I could have 2mg Xanax and it would have no impact just make things worse as it would change the body feel and make the anxiety worse. Lyrica just makes me....not care as much about the anxiety
- Exercise: Recently started this since husband arrived and I think it's gotten me from 60% to 75% in just a month so yes...definitely do this! - I find when were depressed and anxious we end up having bad diets and become sedentary. If our brains are damaged or trying to adjust and recover I think exercise can only be a benefit to this!
- Mindfulness: A lifesaver I think and not something I ever would of believed if I hadn't experienced the positive benefits. Even if it's recognising why I'm anxious that's a bonus
- Motorbike: Since the ambulance incident I've been unable to drive a car. I still have a panic attack to this day if I drive faster than 50mph and I've accepted that I may never be able to drive a car again (but still hold out hope). So I had motorbike lessons, passed the test and ride a bike now. For some reason it has the opposite effect of driving a car! - For me I think it's that you have to be so "in the moment" on a motorbike compared to a car you don't have the chance to dwell on thoughts as much so they don't escalate to anything more. That and it's just....fun!!
- Lions Mane, B Complex and Magnesium. After discovering this thread and the forums on dp/dr and VS I settled on just these supplements. Many others cause me panic attacks or don't give benefit for me over a few weeks. I think people should experiment and find the right combinations and diets for them
- Coming off other drugs - I abstain from all other mind altering substances aside from the prescribed lyrica. Anything that alters how I feel physically triggers a massive panic attack (like alcohol) so I avoid it like a plague!
Thinks that cause me issues
- Alcohol. Big no no. Learnt this the hard way. A hangover can last a week for me and set me back massively
- 5HTP - Tried this a few times and every time it has screwed me over
- Iron suppliments - I needed these from the massive amounts of damage caused by consuming like 8g of ibuprofen a day (nurofen plus without CWE). But they really messed with my head. I persisted as long as I could until the HB was back above 5 and of course now I'm not abusing the stomach anymore I'm letting my body heal that. I'm not sure if this was a mental or physical issue.
- More MDMDA - Never, Never, NEVER do this. Each time it has made things worse for me. I now realise that I had some form of this since the 2nd time I ever had MDMA but oh boy...was that a breeze in the park compared to what I suffered each time after I had more. It has made it exponentially worse for me.
- Carrots. No idea why but carrots cause the DP/DR to soar through the roof!
Things I want to try:
- SSRI/SNRI - I now know I was having a panic attack and not a reaction to the Sertraline. I've read so many success stories on here and some loose scientific data that may indicate it can help repair some of the damage caused so would like to give this a go again to help propel me through the final 25%. I still struggle with apathy and other things relating to the opiate addiction and this could help in this area also! - I just want to be able to experience emotion again. I found this LTC to of seemed to remove my ability to feel most emotions and although I'm getting some things back perhaps this may be the answer. I also don't want to be on 900mg Pregabalin a day for ever given it's addictive potential so perhaps a SNRI could help here with my existing GAD.
Anyways....apologies for the length but I've never sat down and typed this out! - It feels good to do so as well as to read everyone elses recovery stories so yeah....thanks for reading and look forward to chatt
My journey with (what I believe to be) the LTC began in August last year. Rolled for the first time with a friend I thought was experienced but turns out he wasn't. Although I'd been on BL browsing a lot it was mainly around opiates as I've bounced between various opiate addictions over the past few years. I stupidly didn't research harm reduction in advance and had ~700mg of MDMA powder over the course of the night. It was great! Didn't have any issues afterwards as such and in part because of my enjoyment of euphoria I'd known over the years from Opiates (but so much more intense) but also naivety rolled again about 3 weeks later. This time I rolled over 2 nights and based on how much we brought I estimate I had close to 4g over that weekend. In hindsight I know how stupid this was! Over the course of the second night I went into this phase that lasted about 3 hours where every 20 seconds or so I'd get a feeling of intense heat run through the body and have trouble breathing. The person at the time said "oh you're just rushing" but I now know in hindsight that these were hot flushes from panic attacks.
A couple of weeks went by and things seemed okay. During those 2 weeks I went cold turkey from the current opiate (codeine - 800mg a day) with the help of Pregabalin (which I had from existing GAD diagnosed by the GP) and things went okay for a week or so.
Then I did something very stupid - In my search for a "high" I spent another weekend/2 nights rolling with someone else. This time I had around 3g over the 2 days. The comedown from this was harsh and when the problems began. The next day I was bedbound for ~6 hours with the hot flushes and panic attacks not that that's what I knew they were at the time.
After this things were completely different in my life. I noticed I had visual snow. Not to intense but enough to be noticeable enough. The main issue for me though was an intense DP/DR. I had no idea this was related to the MDMA I didn't make the connection and instead thought it was PAWS. I also started to develop real anxiety. These symptoms stayed fairly constant and I was able to manage the DP/DR by binging on the Pregabalin when I could.
About a month after that weekend I got so sick of the feelings and just wanted to feel happy again I went and blew it again....this time ~6g in one night. There was no elation at all this time and I only felt amphetamine like effects.
2 days after then when I was in therapy (for opiate addiction) I started having the hot flushes again and had a panic attack during the session. I put it down to the Sertraline I started that morning (50mg starting dose) but of course the therapist knew what it was and pointed it out immediately. I didn't believe her and became convinced that the SSRI was giving me serotonin syndrome from that one pill (even though part of me knew the mdma would of been largely out of my system being 60odd hours later at this point).
The drive home is when shit hit the fan. I was convinced death was imminent and called an ambulance. I now know this was a panic attack but at the time I thought I was dying.
After that day the main problem became the anxiety for me along with increased further VS, DP & DR. I ended up relapsing on the codeine in an attempt to escape the feelings but if anything it just made it worse as any slight change in body feeling (even taking a paracetamol) I would notice and this would trigger an errant thought that would lead to anxiety and feelings of impending doom.
It was a couple weeks after the ambulance event that I discovered this thread and the past ones! - Everything suddenly made sense and clicked into place.
I was able to talk to the GP - who upped the Pregabalin to 900mg a day to help with the anxiety (and it really does help for me - although it increases my DP/DR but I find I care about that less now!) and gave me the info to take up mindfulness and know what to ask my therapist.
There's so many stories in between (as I'm sure you all have!) and so much pain BUT I now feel the end is in sight!
Although it doesnt feel like it day to day I completely agree with the person that said it flows up and down overall but with a positive trend over time! - Week to week I'm different but if I look back to where I was months ago I'm a world away and it makes me feel positive for the future.
I'm lucky now that my husband moved to the UK from the Middle East a month ago and this has helped massively! - I find company and distracting social interaction to be the best non-pharmaceutical remedy for anxiety and these LTC problems.
I would say now that I'm at 75-80%. I'm also clean and sober again (20 days and counting) and that of course helps massively. I can only imagine what the opiate addiction and subsequent cessation has done to harm my recovery with all the dopamine flying all over the place.
Other things I find that help/I take in case anyone's interested:
- Lyrica/Pregabalin: The best for my anxiety. I have tried benzos but I could have 2mg Xanax and it would have no impact just make things worse as it would change the body feel and make the anxiety worse. Lyrica just makes me....not care as much about the anxiety
- Exercise: Recently started this since husband arrived and I think it's gotten me from 60% to 75% in just a month so yes...definitely do this! - I find when were depressed and anxious we end up having bad diets and become sedentary. If our brains are damaged or trying to adjust and recover I think exercise can only be a benefit to this!
- Mindfulness: A lifesaver I think and not something I ever would of believed if I hadn't experienced the positive benefits. Even if it's recognising why I'm anxious that's a bonus
- Motorbike: Since the ambulance incident I've been unable to drive a car. I still have a panic attack to this day if I drive faster than 50mph and I've accepted that I may never be able to drive a car again (but still hold out hope). So I had motorbike lessons, passed the test and ride a bike now. For some reason it has the opposite effect of driving a car! - For me I think it's that you have to be so "in the moment" on a motorbike compared to a car you don't have the chance to dwell on thoughts as much so they don't escalate to anything more. That and it's just....fun!!
- Lions Mane, B Complex and Magnesium. After discovering this thread and the forums on dp/dr and VS I settled on just these supplements. Many others cause me panic attacks or don't give benefit for me over a few weeks. I think people should experiment and find the right combinations and diets for them
- Coming off other drugs - I abstain from all other mind altering substances aside from the prescribed lyrica. Anything that alters how I feel physically triggers a massive panic attack (like alcohol) so I avoid it like a plague!
Thinks that cause me issues
- Alcohol. Big no no. Learnt this the hard way. A hangover can last a week for me and set me back massively
- 5HTP - Tried this a few times and every time it has screwed me over
- Iron suppliments - I needed these from the massive amounts of damage caused by consuming like 8g of ibuprofen a day (nurofen plus without CWE). But they really messed with my head. I persisted as long as I could until the HB was back above 5 and of course now I'm not abusing the stomach anymore I'm letting my body heal that. I'm not sure if this was a mental or physical issue.
- More MDMDA - Never, Never, NEVER do this. Each time it has made things worse for me. I now realise that I had some form of this since the 2nd time I ever had MDMA but oh boy...was that a breeze in the park compared to what I suffered each time after I had more. It has made it exponentially worse for me.
- Carrots. No idea why but carrots cause the DP/DR to soar through the roof!
Things I want to try:
- SSRI/SNRI - I now know I was having a panic attack and not a reaction to the Sertraline. I've read so many success stories on here and some loose scientific data that may indicate it can help repair some of the damage caused so would like to give this a go again to help propel me through the final 25%. I still struggle with apathy and other things relating to the opiate addiction and this could help in this area also! - I just want to be able to experience emotion again. I found this LTC to of seemed to remove my ability to feel most emotions and although I'm getting some things back perhaps this may be the answer. I also don't want to be on 900mg Pregabalin a day for ever given it's addictive potential so perhaps a SNRI could help here with my existing GAD.
Anyways....apologies for the length but I've never sat down and typed this out! - It feels good to do so as well as to read everyone elses recovery stories so yeah....thanks for reading and look forward to chatt
Agreed it seems to be more an anti-anxiety type thing. I think my doc just wanted to try it based on how I felt on benzos which even though are technically anti-anxiety still do have an anti-depressant effect on me. So maybe he wanted to rule out anxiety as being the cause of the depression stuff and I'd say that is pretty much ruled out.
I think benzos only help cause of their effects on GABA.
Never considered Mirtazapine cause of the "HPPD" stuff (though I only have VS/tinnitus) and don't want to aggravate those things. And I never looked into Lamictal I think cause of the SJS or rash issue (since I am kind of prone to dry skin eczema type rashes and was even before the LTC).
Cotcha Yankinov
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
- Messages
- 2,952
Clonidine and such will also reduce serotonin - the agonism at a2 autoreceptors will decrease the release of serotonin as well as norepinephrine
Mirtazapine will have the opposite effect, but Mirtazapine is different at various doses and can also cause sedation for some weeks until the anti-histamine effect desensitized
Brain_fog88
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2016
- Messages
- 24
Hey guys I found some promising results regarding lamotrigine. There is a forum that is dedicated to discussing dp/dr and I found a thread that consolidated users positive and negative experiences with lamotrigine.
Naturally, not everyone was cured but the ones that were described experiencing a flood of memories returning to them that they thought were gone forever, improved cognitive function and more access to their emotions.
I've been hesitant to start my prescription but I think I'm going to give it a try now. I'll keep you guys updated as I titrate up over the next couple months. Fingers crossed!
Heres the link: http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/53497-lamotrigine/
Naturally, not everyone was cured but the ones that were described experiencing a flood of memories returning to them that they thought were gone forever, improved cognitive function and more access to their emotions.
I've been hesitant to start my prescription but I think I'm going to give it a try now. I'll keep you guys updated as I titrate up over the next couple months. Fingers crossed!
Heres the link: http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/53497-lamotrigine/
ScaredFirstTimer
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2013
- Messages
- 317
Keep us updated. Exactly what symptoms are you suffering from?
The sedation does not look fun at all. But even that isn't a huge deal if it gets desensitized. The bigger concern is what effect it will have on tinnitus or visual snow.
And I didn't know about the serotonin reduction. Serotonin isn't always "good" anyways so I still think the issue was that it was lowering NE levels which like ADubbs said seems more useful for anxiety+sleep than depression.
That being said Benzos do help the depression even though they are "anti-anxiety". Kpin provides a rapid antidepressant effect for me which lasts 24 hours. Which again brings me to the whole neurosteroid theory (since GABA/allopregnenolone/etc are all connected) and whether that really is a potential issue.
@Brain_fog88
Good luck and yea do keep us updated about it!
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