Best of luck man. Been following your thread and it has provided a lot of insight. You should know that it has helped steer me away from lope when it very likely would have become an issue for me. I recently kicked a kratom habit and was using lope moderately to help with wd's. I know how hard this shit is so just wanted to pass on some encouragement and let you know your honesty and courage has helped someone out. Thanks for sharing your story and hang in there. You'll be on the other side soon. I've wd from benzos and phenibut and recently kratom. I know what hell it is but when you finally reach the other side you will be a new man. That feeling when new life is breathed into you is going to be worth all the pain. Also, the place you got your phenibut from sells absolutely terrible stuff.. almost to the point that I wouldn't even call it phenibut. Stay away from it at all costs and from what I've read about how much you've been using it you should be in the clear from withdrawling from it. All the best and thanks for the help you provided me and others by sharing.
Thanks, buddy...that means a lot me, it does.
"I know what hell it is but when you finally reach the other side you will be a new man. That feeling when new life is breathed into you is going to be worth all the pain." That quote actually summed things up perfectly! I've WDed off my fair share of opiates and I know that feeling when you've been going through it so long and nothing seems like it'll get better, but one morning, down the road, you get up and feel an actual real happy glow and know you've made it out (or at least through the worst). For me it's just getting over that damn hump! It has been a long while since I have been able to. Almost two years ago now I made it through heroin WD after a move of 4,000 miles. Albeit I turned to cocaine then, but for a few weeks it was hell because I was still able to get lope which only prolonged it. I'd barely sleep and wake with a cracked out mind and wouldn't have the energy to even go get lope most days, so more often than not I was off it and eventually stopped everything I felt so much better.
I dunno if I'll be in the clear with the phenibut...I haven't gone more than three days without it in over two weeks now. Hences my thoughts on the lyrica for WD from both. These past couple weeks or so of trying to get off lope have left me whacked out...my girl has mentioned that I seem different and distant. In the past I was real good about sucking it up and putting on a happy face, but over the years that condition has deteriorated. I'm constantly up or down, it's a rollercoaster of a life right now and I'm bummed I have to break back to lope for two days. Feels like another setback. Sometimes I sit and think that times were better just being on lope and having a steady mood...but then I reflect on this thread and realize the negative aspects. It feels hopeless if I dwell on it too long. Good thing I'm normally a positive person. I just have a hard time looking forward to the future.
I'm up now at 12:36 am, been up for over an hour in a restless hell once again. The lope I got for the next two days I just broke into...took about 20-30 pills as well and scraped together the last of my tianeptine which I consumed in three doses one by one waiting for some effect.
Anyway, may I refer anyone to this song that I've jammed more than my fair share of times while going through this:
The Streets - Stay Positive: Seems to be about this very situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk5Df_lDD38
Lyrics:
Cause this world swallows souls
And when the blues unfold
It gets cold silence burns holes
You're going mad
Perhaps you always were
But when things was good you just didn't care
This is called irony
When you most need to get up you got no energy
Time and time shit'll happen
The dark shit's unwrapping
But no-one's listening your mates are laughing
Your brethren's fucking and then you start hating
Your stomach starts churning and you mind starts turning.
So smoke another draw
It won't matter no more but the next day still feels sore
Rain taps on your window
Always did though but you didn't hear it when things were so-so
You're on your own now
Your little zone you were born alone and believe me you'll die alone
Weed becomes a chore
You want the buzz back so you follow the others onto smack
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Feels nice and still
Good thing about brown is it always will
It's easy, no-one blames you
It's that world out there that's fucked you
You know less of a person and if God exists
He still loves you
Just remember that - the more you sink the further back from that brink
Maybe you've lifetime scars and you think tattoos might be more fitting
But who's picking?
Searching for yourself you find demons
Try and be a freeman and grasp that talisman
Cause your the same as I am
We all need our fellow man
We all need our samaritan.
Maybe I'm better looking than you though
Maybe I've got more dough - but am I happier... no.
Get the love of a good girl and your world will be much richer than my world
And your happiness will uncurl
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Stop dreaming
People who say that are blaspheming
They're doing nine to five and moaning
And they don't want you succeeding when they've blown it
And you idols - who are they?
They too dreamt about their day
Positive steps will see your goals.
Whether it's dollars or control, feel the gold.
I ain't helping you climb the ladder
I'm busy climbing mine.
That's how it's been since the dawn of time
If you reach a cul-de-sac
The world turns it's back
This is you zone, it's like blackjack
He might get the ace or the top one
So organise your two's and three's into a run then you'll have fucked him son
And for that you'll be the better one
One last thing before you go though
When you feel better tommorow you'll be a hero
But never forget today. you could be back here
Things can stray
What if you see me in that window?
You won't help me I know.
That's cool, just keep walking where you go.
Carry on through the estate, stare at the geezers so they know you aint lightweight
And go see your mates
And when they don't look happy
Play them this tape
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
I hope you understand me
Just trying to stay positive
I ain't no preaching fucker and I ain't no do-goody-goody either
This is about when shit goes pear-shaped
And if you aren't or never have been at rock bottom then good luck to you in the big wide world
But remember that one day shit might just start crumbling
Your bird might fuck off or you might lose your job
It's when that happens that what I'm talking about will feel much more important to you
So if you ain't feeling it, just be thankful that everything's cool in your world
Respect to BC
Positivity
Positivity
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Just trying to stay positive
Anyway, try to stay positive!
My fav snippets from the song:
"
This is called irony, When you most need to get up you got no energy"
"Rain taps on your window always did though, But you didn't hear it when things were so-so"
"Weed becomes a chore, You want the buzz back so you follow the others onto smack"
"Feels nice and still, Good thing about brown is it always will"
"You're no less of a person and if God exists he still loves you"
"
Just remember that - The more you sink you're further back from that brink"
AND LASTLY:
"
One last thing before you go though, When you feel better tomorrow you'll be a hero, But never forget today, You could be back here
Things can stray"
Marinate on that until my return.
