ive recently come out of something and am trying to meet someone new. but i've discovered that as soon as i find out someone doesn't do drugs i feel instantly repulsed. i just assume anyone who doesn't is close minded, boring and won't understand me. however i'm finding that this really narrows the pool of eligible people. what have your experiences been in dating non drug users? have they been positive or negative? would you recommend it? do you like to do drugs with people you're dating, or do u prefer to keep it separate?
would u date a non drug user?
- Thread starter luxma
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I would tolerate a bit of cannabis smoking now and then, or the once in a blue moon psychedelic experience perhaps.. a lady who might dabble in it now and then such as during a gathering or party, I could deal with that. But regular use, or someone who is currently hooked on a substance.. nope. Too much baggage and potential for turbulence down the line. Can't be dealing with that. I want someone who is focused and happy with who they are now.
CosmicG
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The girl that I have been with for the last five years doesn't use any drugs, and rarely drinks alcohol. When we first got together she was in an experimental stage with drugs. She smoked weed and tried LSD and mushrooms. Ultimately she made the decision that it was not for her. Although she had fun, she failed to see any benefit from these experiences spiritually speaking.
I still use psyhoactive chemicals on a pretty regular basis, and for the most part she is okay with it, though deep down she would rather me just be content without them like her. It is nice sometimes to have her to keep me in line, but there are certainly some things that we will never be able to agree on unfortunately.
I still use psyhoactive chemicals on a pretty regular basis, and for the most part she is okay with it, though deep down she would rather me just be content without them like her. It is nice sometimes to have her to keep me in line, but there are certainly some things that we will never be able to agree on unfortunately.
I'd be okay with it as long as my so was accepting of my drug use. I smoke weed and occasionally indulge in psychedelics and mdma. I don't think I'd ever date somebody who had a substance abuse problem or addiction though, it just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Oh, and tripping/rolling/smoking with my partner is lots of fun, like I said I'd date a straight edge but it's more fun to share the experience with your love 
PriestTheyCalledHim
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Yes I would. I no longer use drugs, and I've dated and had relationships with people who are addicts, people who casually used drugs every so often like MDMA, cannabis, or alcohol, social drinkers, and people who just happened not to be into drugs at all or who no longer used them.
Codeine Demon
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I struggle with this myself, I've had a few girlfriends but only one serious one of 2 years, she herself used but that was chaotic as she liked stimulants and I like depressants. I've had a couple non user girlfriends, the first I left because she was really intrigued by my use and I just couldn't be the person to escort her down the rabbit hole.
The second left me because I wouldn't quit, I fear all non user partners would reach that point.
The life of an addict is a solitary one indeed.
The second left me because I wouldn't quit, I fear all non user partners would reach that point.
The life of an addict is a solitary one indeed.
JessFR
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My bf is totally straight edge, doesn't use drugs, doesn't smoke, and never has, used to drink but doesn't anymore.
Not only am I happy being with him, I think it's very important for my well being. If I dated another hard drug user wed both probably be totally fucked. Being with him helps keep in check my self destructive habits. And I know it's not easy on him, it's not always easy on me. But we stick it out cause we love eachother and have for nearly 5 years.
Not only am I happy being with him, I think it's very important for my well being. If I dated another hard drug user wed both probably be totally fucked. Being with him helps keep in check my self destructive habits. And I know it's not easy on him, it's not always easy on me. But we stick it out cause we love eachother and have for nearly 5 years.
SluttyPeach
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This. Most of the people I've dated at least smoke weed, and the ones who didn't had a problem with it and of course they shit a brick house when they found out I was an IV user.
MUSHET
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Funnily enough, I posted this in another thread earlier:
Has anyone here ever been in a relationship with someone who doesn't take anything, or even have an understanding of drugs at all. I've always considered myself to be a 'psychonaut', or even a 'sailor of the mind'. She thinks that all drugs are 'bad'.
I've never been in this situation before, and frankly never thought I would have. All of my previous partners have indulged with me.
Yeah, I've fallen in love with her, she's ten years younger too, but drugs or drug culture have no interest to her. She also knows about everything I've taken, but it seems like that she no longer wants me to be part of that kind of scene at all. We did chat a month or so ago, I have said to her that LSD and magic mushrooms are too special to me and I will always indulge in those as I see them as a tool rather than a drug, she seemed cool with that.
Although, there I am on Friday out my tits at work on opiates, I really don't want to be in a relationship where I have to hide or lie about my drug abuse. I've seen this before with mates and It just seems ridiculous, the woman seems controlling and the guys are deceitful liars - what good is that?
I think she will be good for me though, it's time for me to grow up a bit anyway (even though she is the one ten years younger she has her shit together). However, as she has no drug experience at all it's difficult to even have a sensible conversation about them to her, the disadvantages and the benefits. She's never even smoked a cigarette.
Has anyone here ever been in a relationship with someone who doesn't take anything, or even have an understanding of drugs at all. I've always considered myself to be a 'psychonaut', or even a 'sailor of the mind'. She thinks that all drugs are 'bad'.
I've never been in this situation before, and frankly never thought I would have. All of my previous partners have indulged with me.
Yeah, I've fallen in love with her, she's ten years younger too, but drugs or drug culture have no interest to her. She also knows about everything I've taken, but it seems like that she no longer wants me to be part of that kind of scene at all. We did chat a month or so ago, I have said to her that LSD and magic mushrooms are too special to me and I will always indulge in those as I see them as a tool rather than a drug, she seemed cool with that.
Although, there I am on Friday out my tits at work on opiates, I really don't want to be in a relationship where I have to hide or lie about my drug abuse. I've seen this before with mates and It just seems ridiculous, the woman seems controlling and the guys are deceitful liars - what good is that?
I think she will be good for me though, it's time for me to grow up a bit anyway (even though she is the one ten years younger she has her shit together). However, as she has no drug experience at all it's difficult to even have a sensible conversation about them to her, the disadvantages and the benefits. She's never even smoked a cigarette.
interesting responses everyone thank you!
ha, probably not. i wouldn't want them to be concerned about me or have to lie to them.
if i was going to quit i would want it to be for myself i think, not for my partner. which leads me to
can i clarify this referring to users dating non users and possibly causing them to use in this scenario? i feel like it would be really bizarre using without my partner, like having a double life.
i think if you want to quit, like you say 'grow up' then why not pursue the relationship, it would probably encourage you to do less, you would be placed in more non using situations. but if you identify so strongly with being a psychonaut, thats a big part of your identity you're having to suppress. you might become resentful later on. could you possibly get her to understand from a theoretical viewpoint at least why its important to you? i know i have friends who dont use because they're too scared of the risks but fully understand and appreciate why i do.
dopemaster
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I date non users sometimes.
I don't tell them I use and then they get a lil mad when you shooting up in their bathroom but usually they can be tricked or at least tricked into thinking you are not using much or you can say some shit like you are trying to quit.
If I date someone who uses, she better have as much income as me cuz I am not paying for anyone else's habit.
So nonusers are good if they accept it or if you can hide it the first option being the better.
There is usually less drama with nonusers but you might want to keep your distance to some degree or you might end up stuck doing some lame shit like meeting her family or going hiking. People that don't do drugs occupy themselves with all sorts of shit like shopping at the mall or appreciating nature.
So yeah I mean if they cool with what you do and they into the same things you do like if you have the same hobbies.
So it would depend on the nature of the person and your nature. If you are out chasing drugs all day forget about a serious relationship. They are not going to put up with it. They might have sex with you but that is about it.
Also you might be faced with someone asking you to change for them. So there are ups and downs to getting involved with what I would call an "innocent" and also the other thing is you don't want to put innocents in harms way so it depends on your lifestyle and the degree of risks you take and realizing only a fool would get involved with someone who would drag them down so if your use drags a person down, they ain't gonna be having that.
I don't tell them I use and then they get a lil mad when you shooting up in their bathroom but usually they can be tricked or at least tricked into thinking you are not using much or you can say some shit like you are trying to quit.
If I date someone who uses, she better have as much income as me cuz I am not paying for anyone else's habit.
So nonusers are good if they accept it or if you can hide it the first option being the better.
There is usually less drama with nonusers but you might want to keep your distance to some degree or you might end up stuck doing some lame shit like meeting her family or going hiking. People that don't do drugs occupy themselves with all sorts of shit like shopping at the mall or appreciating nature.
So yeah I mean if they cool with what you do and they into the same things you do like if you have the same hobbies.
So it would depend on the nature of the person and your nature. If you are out chasing drugs all day forget about a serious relationship. They are not going to put up with it. They might have sex with you but that is about it.
Also you might be faced with someone asking you to change for them. So there are ups and downs to getting involved with what I would call an "innocent" and also the other thing is you don't want to put innocents in harms way so it depends on your lifestyle and the degree of risks you take and realizing only a fool would get involved with someone who would drag them down so if your use drags a person down, they ain't gonna be having that.
Pretty_Diamonds
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Hm, I actually have never dated a nondrug user. And honestly, I don't know if I would. Drugs are such a big part of my life and I hate judgmental people (which usually nondrug users are). Plus, what would you do together? Chilling and getting high is obv #1.
Codeine Demon
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^ This
MUSHET
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There's loads of things you can do, depending what you're into:
Pub
Walk
Swimming
Museum
Chill and not get high (or secretly disappear into the toilet for the '4th shit' that day and hoover up your drug of choice)
Watch a film
Play a board game
Develop a gambling addiction together
Become alcoholics
Take up cooking (start spiking your partners food with your DOC)
You'll have more money, go on weekends away rather than sitting about fucked up
Etc...
Etc
dopemaster
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I just kinda sneak around my drug use if a woman has a problem with most drugs in general.
There are some that are so very socially acceptable like prescriptions (just always insist you need it but don't like it), alcohol, weed, and sometimes strangely enough some people that do not really get high are really into club drugs like coke and mdma.
So I suppose when I think non user I think someone who doesn't have a habit let alone a problem.
There are plenty of people that use a drug and insist and half the time probably need it so there is room for empathy especially if you are discrete with your personal drug use.
I suppose it also depends on how serious the relationship is. I mean you could go on a few dates and hook up once or twice a week, straight up just fucking, or in a heavy duty co-habitation thing.
I probably come off as rather flaky as my unwillingness to jump into a long term relationship. Personally I suppose most the times I just straight bullshit at times.
In the rare occasion I meet a woman I truly like I might stop this or that substance but I would never date someone who would say I couldn't take prescription drugs so I always avoid explaining what I am exactly prescribed in most cases.
I suppose I am not willing to break other people off with drugs on the regular. I mean I hate to spend more than 15-30 dollars on a date. Sometimes with users you kind of have to just to hangout if you are both substance dependent. So often I find with users dating one essentially procurs the drug the other person needs and then they buy some later when they have money so it is either a back and forth or one way street and the latter not being what I want.
The last factor is despite drug use I have taken rather decent care of myself so I dabble with non drug user pussy. If they can't deal with the level of bullshit (which isn't that bad) I have in my life, well fuck it, I still got laid.
I have had serious relationships and one was with a chick who didn't do any drugs. I was rather young and she was very young but we dated for a prolonged period of time. I drank alot and I found that was never a problem but she would not appreciate me using something like cocaine. In the end I left her because she was fucking boring.
There are some that are so very socially acceptable like prescriptions (just always insist you need it but don't like it), alcohol, weed, and sometimes strangely enough some people that do not really get high are really into club drugs like coke and mdma.
So I suppose when I think non user I think someone who doesn't have a habit let alone a problem.
There are plenty of people that use a drug and insist and half the time probably need it so there is room for empathy especially if you are discrete with your personal drug use.
I suppose it also depends on how serious the relationship is. I mean you could go on a few dates and hook up once or twice a week, straight up just fucking, or in a heavy duty co-habitation thing.
I probably come off as rather flaky as my unwillingness to jump into a long term relationship. Personally I suppose most the times I just straight bullshit at times.
In the rare occasion I meet a woman I truly like I might stop this or that substance but I would never date someone who would say I couldn't take prescription drugs so I always avoid explaining what I am exactly prescribed in most cases.
I suppose I am not willing to break other people off with drugs on the regular. I mean I hate to spend more than 15-30 dollars on a date. Sometimes with users you kind of have to just to hangout if you are both substance dependent. So often I find with users dating one essentially procurs the drug the other person needs and then they buy some later when they have money so it is either a back and forth or one way street and the latter not being what I want.
The last factor is despite drug use I have taken rather decent care of myself so I dabble with non drug user pussy. If they can't deal with the level of bullshit (which isn't that bad) I have in my life, well fuck it, I still got laid.
I have had serious relationships and one was with a chick who didn't do any drugs. I was rather young and she was very young but we dated for a prolonged period of time. I drank alot and I found that was never a problem but she would not appreciate me using something like cocaine. In the end I left her because she was fucking boring.
MUSHET
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I find this with a lot of coke users in general - it's like a drug for people who don't really take drugs. I mean this is the case amongst certain scenes, it makes them look cool without getting too fucked up, plus because it is so expensive it makes them feel important, like they are a celebrity or something. Those kind of people make we want to puke, how fucking pretentious.