any doctors who specialize in MDMA around the world?

[pmz]

Is there a doctor who I could possibly try to contact who had a specialty in MDMA? Or any specialist in general?

 

[Shambles]

For what reason?

 

[pmz]

Having a pretty bad lasting negative reaction. I know everyone says to just chill out and wait, but I really want to talk to a professional who has experience in this.

 

[Shambles]

A bad, long-lasting negative reaction to MDMA? If that's really the case I'm gonna have to wonder if maybe it's more of an issue with you rather than the substance then? And in no way mean anything bad by that

Have had plenty issues with both myself

In either case it sounds like it's more that you need to find happiness yourself - the drug has simply brought such things to your attention is all. You'd be best off seeking treatment for any underlying issues if it's those underlying issues which irk you

But really though, how long since you last used? Frequent user? Outstanding life issues before, during after use?

 

[pmz]

Naw, its def not that. I live the best life ever prior to by last "incedent". No anxiety or depression issues. This fucked with my chemistry hard time. I went in to work the weekend after and immediately went, Oh no, there is something not right with me.

Its been 2 months ago, Once a month, nothing really outstanding except a high pressure job but I dont think that is the problem

 

[Folley]

Possibly, but I'm sure it would cost many tens of thousands of dollars.. maybe take that money and go to disney land and try and make yourself happy again? Just a suggestion..

 

[Dawglaw]

Pmz - I had ZERO anxiety issues prior to my experience.

The technology to go deep in your brain and mind to figure out what exactly is the source of the anxiety is just not there. The best that any doctor can do is provide palliative care. The more you look for MDMA specialists, the more likely you are to run into some quack that will sell you a bill of goods with some bullshit herbal remedy and take all of your money without providing any real assistance.

When I had my problems, I went to a very nice clinic with extremely well trained medical professionals. They checked me out and said that while there is no physical damage to my brain, they could tell I was suffering mentally. My best bet was to find a way to manage my anxiety and sort the mess inside my head. I then went to a stanford med school trained psych. She has had plenty experience with all kinds of drug induced mental issues. She helped me work through it without any benzos or other meds.

The big pivot point in my recovery was acceptance and letting go. That meant I had to stop convincing myself that my Dr.s were lying to me because of bullshit I read on the internet. It meant that I had to stop spending hours each day online looking for a cure. It meant that yeah, I had pretty bad drug induced anxiety and there was no cure except for time. It meant that I might as well just try to figure out a way to live the best life I could with my new condition.

Once I let go of "I need to find the right Dr., or I need to find the best herbal supplements, or is my blurry vision caused by a brain tumor or MS, or I need to do drugs again to "rewire my brain", etc", I started to live my life. While the anxiety was uncomfortable (DR really is not fun), it stopped bothering me and I felt relieved. I figured that if I was stuck in a state of derealization the rest of my life, I might as well learn how to live with it. Once I let go, it started to go away. But every time I fought it, it would stay the same or get worse.

After 8 months, I realized I hadn't experienced any DR in a long time and I was fixed. I know if I stopped to think "is my DR here or am I anxious right now" every day of my comedown, I would still probably be dealing with it today.

The harder you try to fight it the longer it is going to stick around.

Sorry for the mess I am typing via siri on my iphone.

 

[Shambles]

Blimey. That's at least twice I've agreed with Folley this year!?! I must be wearing a big fukkin hat

Is right though. You've just drained yer brainchems for the month is all. You've barely even sniffed MDMA and you think that is what is not only the cause of your problems but the solution too?!? How does that work? I really do wonder.

If you had no problems before this last MDMA use, and have had no problems since, then you have no problems. If you had no problems beforehand, and do have since with no real change inbetweentimes, then the problem is with you. Neither of these possibilities includes MDMA being a problem though so am confused

It sounds more to me that it is something in your life that lacks. Set/setting and all that. If one or t'other ain't right then neither is right and nor will you be until you fix that. Drugs are never the problem unless they are the problem. In your case it definitely ain't a drug problem though. Forget about finding an MDMA therapist - they mostly only deal with severer PTSD, morbidity and relationship issues (particularly when they combine ). I see nothing in anything you've said that suggests this would be of any use to you.

Why do you think an MDMA therapist could help you? What, specifically, is the actual problem?

 

[pmz]

Pmz - I had ZERO anxiety issues prior to my experience.

The technology to go deep in your brain and mind to figure out what exactly is the source of the anxiety is just not there. The best that any doctor can do is provide palliative care. The more you look for MDMA specialists, the more likely you are to run into some quack that will sell you a bill of goods with some bullshit herbal remedy and take all of your money without providing any real assistance.

When I had my problems, I went to a very nice clinic with extremely well trained medical professionals. They checked me out and said that while there is no physical damage to my brain, they could tell I was suffering mentally. My best bet was to find a way to manage my anxiety and sort the mess inside my head. I then went to a stanford med school trained psych. She has had plenty experience with all kinds of drug induced mental issues. She helped me work through it without any benzos or other meds.

The big pivot point in my recovery was acceptance and letting go. That meant I had to stop convincing myself that my Dr.s were lying to me because of bullshit I read on the internet. It meant that I had to stop spending hours each day online looking for a cure. It meant that yeah, I had pretty bad drug induced anxiety and there was no cure except for time. It meant that I might as well just try to figure out a way to live the best life I could with my new condition.

Once I let go of "I need to find the right Dr., or I need to find the best herbal supplements, or is my blurry vision caused by a brain tumor or MS, or I need to do drugs again to "rewire my brain", etc", I started to live my life. While the anxiety was uncomfortable (DR really is not fun), it stopped bothering me and I felt relieved. I figured that if I was stuck in a state of derealization the rest of my life, I might as well learn how to live with it. Once I let go, it started to go away. But every time I fought it, it would stay the same or get worse.

After 8 months, I realized I hadn't experienced any DR in a long time and I was fixed. I know if I stopped to think "is my DR here or am I anxious right now" every day of my comedown, I would still probably be dealing with it today.

The harder you try to fight it the longer it is going to stick around.

Sorry for the mess I am typing via siri on my iphone.

I agree but dude, it isnt the DP that im stressing about. I just consistently feel like I cant think straight all the time. Its the feeling of trying to work out a math equation while stoned off ur ass. Thats I feel all day long when it comes to working anything out. Its like being stoned without the good feeling. My reading comprehension is fucked and I feel crazy dyslexic, Its not right. I wish It was just DP. How can I just accept, the fact of not being or organize thoughts as well as I used to?

 

[pmz]

It sounds more to me that it is something in your life that lacks. Set/setting and all that. If one or t'other ain't right then neither is right and nor will you be until you fix that. Drugs are never the problem unless they are the problem. In your case it definitely ain't a drug problem though. Forget about finding an MDMA therapist - they mostly only deal with severer PTSD, morbidity and relationship issues (particularly when they combine ). I see nothing in anything you've said that suggests this would be of any use to you.

Why do you think an MDMA therapist could help you? What, specifically, is the actual problem?

Naw dude, i had a great and very happy sober life before this one weekend happened. Friends, good job, good family, mentally stable, constantly keeping busy and happy.

After the last MDMA run in, my brain went through a blender.

 

[pmz]

what I have been noticing lately that when I read a sentence, Ill think back and go "wait that didnt make sense" then ill read it again and realized my brain replaced one word for another one that at the time sounded like it would make sense. For example. I just read a sentence that said "living the good life". But the first time I read it, my brain read "welcome to the good life" Ive been noticing I do this alot lately. and its freaking me out.

 

[Shambles]

Alternatively, you think differently as you get older. Same as everybody else. Why is it you think that only the US (and to an extent OZ) has young MDMA users in such quandaries whereas the rest of the world has more accurate HR info and none of these problems? Not saying y'all're bitches or owt but...

I keed, I keed

But really, all you've said so far is that your brain seems to be slightly more plastic than it previously was. I utterly fail to see how this is a Bad Thing? I really do wonder sometimes if it's the rest of us all that got it massively wrong or the US medical system is total wank.

Either way, answer is the same, look after yourself. Fuck therapists and the like. Totally unnecessary in your situation (at least as discussed so far). Just live is all. Live and this too shall pass. Simple as that, really

 

[Dawglaw]

pmz - I felt like I was stoned in a bad way. I felt like I had eaten an edible that lasted for 6 months. It was anxiety.

 

[F1n1shed]

PMZ the people who are saying it is just in your head, and it isn't the chemicals fault are foolish. IT IS the chemical, why would you bother your self with made up issues for no reason. If you feel something is wrong, then something is definitely wrong. I was the same way, and it WAS most definitely MDMA(few dirty pills as well) being the cause. Back when i was using it i didn't even use it much and i noticed word recall was a bitch, critical thinking was no longer there, short term memory was gone, motivation lost, depression, anxiety / panic attacks (Never had those before MDMA), Depersonalisation, derealization, brain fog, memory fog the list goes on.

Now going to a doctor will be pointless as many people have done it before. They will not be able to look in your brain and locate your serotonin neurons, so they will try to tell you nothing is wrong. The most they will do is write you script for an SSRI or Benzo.

How many times have you used MDMA, are you the guy that used it only once? Because although it isn't likely to run into many issues with one usage, it IS possible. Although my post sounds kind of unmotivating , i am keeping it real. The good news is , the best thing you can do is try your best ( i know its hell ) to ignore it and know that things will get better. Do not over think it, yes your brain is fucked at the moment. But i am proof that things get better, it does take a long time and for some people.... even a full year. But recovery will happen, try to stay busy, get some exercise.

Let me know if you have any other questions, I've been there and i hated when people belittled the problems i had and simply acted as if it isn't MDMA's fault.

 

[Shambles]

It is not - and can never be - a drug's fault. A drug is a chemical. It did not put itself in your body.

 

[Dawglaw]

Finished - I am not saying it was just in my head. I definitely believe that the substance I took created a intermediate term chemical imbalance that sorted itself out after many months of healthy living. I still do not believe I suffered any measurable physical damage to my brain from the drugs.

What I am saying is that you can get in your own head and make that chemical imbalance much much worse by over thinking things. Again, I had no anxiety issues before taking a drug that effects neurochemicals that have a direct role in mood and anxiety. My body had a strange reaction and I was left with anxiety issues for a long time. I am not a doctor, I don't know the exact mechanism of what triggered the imbalance.

Did my serotonin receptors fry and then take months to rebuild? I have no idea, neither did my doctors. What I do know is that living healthy, staying busy and keeping as positive of an outlook as possible - really made me feel better until I recovered.

 

[xxxyakinikuxxx]

PMZ the people who are saying it is just in your head, and it isn't the chemicals fault are foolish. IT IS the chemical, why would you bother your self with made up issues for no reason. If you feel something is wrong, then something is definitely wrong. I was the same way, and it WAS most definitely MDMA(few dirty pills as well) being the cause. Back when i was using it i didn't even use it much and i noticed word recall was a bitch, critical thinking was no longer there, short term memory was gone, motivation lost, depression, anxiety / panic attacks (Never had those before MDMA), Depersonalisation, derealization, brain fog, memory fog the list goes on.

Now going to a doctor will be pointless as many people have done it before. They will not be able to look in your brain and locate your serotonin neurons, so they will try to tell you nothing is wrong. The most they will do is write you script for an SSRI or Benzo.

How many times have you used MDMA, are you the guy that used it only once? Because although it isn't likely to run into many issues with one usage, it IS possible. Although my post sounds kind of unmotivating , i am keeping it real. The good news is , the best thing you can do is try your best ( i know its hell ) to ignore it and know that things will get better. Do not over think it, yes your brain is fucked at the moment. But i am proof that things get better, it does take a long time and for some people.... even a full year. But recovery will happen, try to stay busy, get some exercise.

Let me know if you have any other questions, I've been there and i hated when people belittled the problems i had and simply acted as if it isn't MDMA's fault.

F1n1shed, always enjoy your posts. They're straightforward and unequivocal and are a breath of fresh air to read when everyone else tiptoes around mdma like its some sacrosanct subject.

Shambles, of course everybody is ultimately responsible for what they put in their body. I don't think that's really the issue. And accepting responsibility ain't gonna change the effects pmz is suffering from. He's trying to get some help better to focus on that.

Pmz if it makes you feel any better I'm going through a horrible time as well. Definitely have noticed cognitive decline, especially in the past few months after the more acute symptoms of anxiety and severe depression lifted. The symptoms and their severity seem to be pretty idiosyncratic. So you gotta kindof figure out what's the biggest problem for you and notice how that changes.

That said F1n1ished I wanted to ask you if you suffered any emotional blunting after your use. How about any tiredness/general feeling of shittyness? My biggest issue right now is I don't really feel much of anything emotionally. Just don't get excited/happy or enjoy things like I used to. I saw you mention having that somewhere else pmz so I feel your pain. This shit sucks.

 

[pmz]

pmz - I felt like I was stoned in a bad way. I felt like I had eaten an edible that lasted for 6 months. It was anxiety.

Im preying its anxiety as well.

PMZ the people who are saying it is just in your head, and it isn't the chemicals fault are foolish. IT IS the chemical, why would you bother your self with made up issues for no reason. If you feel something is wrong, then something is definitely wrong. I was the same way, and it WAS most definitely MDMA(few dirty pills as well) being the cause. Back when i was using it i didn't even use it much and i noticed word recall was a bitch, critical thinking was no longer there, short term memory was gone, motivation lost, depression, anxiety / panic attacks (Never had those before MDMA), Depersonalisation, derealization, brain fog, memory fog the list goes on.

Now going to a doctor will be pointless as many people have done it before. They will not be able to look in your brain and locate your serotonin neurons, so they will try to tell you nothing is wrong. The most they will do is write you script for an SSRI or Benzo.

How many times have you used MDMA, are you the guy that used it only once? Because although it isn't likely to run into many issues with one usage, it IS possible. Although my post sounds kind of unmotivating , i am keeping it real. The good news is , the best thing you can do is try your best ( i know its hell ) to ignore it and know that things will get better. Do not over think it, yes your brain is fucked at the moment. But i am proof that things get better, it does take a long time and for some people.... even a full year. But recovery will happen, try to stay busy, get some exercise.

Let me know if you have any other questions, I've been there and i hated when people belittled the problems i had and simply acted as if it isn't MDMA's fault.

No Ive had a decent use of it. never more than .3-.5 in a night though. My issue was downing a gram over a course of 2 days. (i was an idiot I know. I wasnt the only one who did this much, just the only one who reacted this way)

It is not - and can never be - a drug's fault. A drug is a chemical. It did not put itself in your body.

Ur really not helping. Obviously it was my fault for what I did. Trying to rectify the problem here.

Finished - I am not saying it was just in my head. I definitely believe that the substance I took created a intermediate term chemical imbalance that sorted itself out after many months of healthy living. I still do not believe I suffered any measurable physical damage to my brain from the drugs.

What I am saying is that you can get in your own head and make that chemical imbalance much much worse by over thinking things. Again, I had no anxiety issues before taking a drug that effects neurochemicals that have a direct role in mood and anxiety. My body had a strange reaction and I was left with anxiety issues for a long time. I am not a doctor, I don't know the exact mechanism of what triggered the imbalance.

Did my serotonin receptors fry and then take months to rebuild? I have no idea, neither did my doctors. What I do know is that living healthy, staying busy and keeping as positive of an outlook as possible - really made me feel better until I recovered.

Im trying to stay active, by I legitimately have a fear of even leaving my house to see friends. And I was one who would never stay home on a weekend. its like Im scared to actually go out for no reason.

That said F1n1ished I wanted to ask you if you suffered any emotional blunting after your use. How about any tiredness/general feeling of shittyness? My biggest issue right now is I don't really feel much of anything emotionally. Just don't get excited/happy or enjoy things like I used to. I saw you mention having that somewhere else pmz so I feel your pain. This shit sucks.

I feel the exact same way. On top of everything else this is one of the craziest problems. How do I just go out and have fun?

 

[laugh]

high pressure job

i have a feeling this may also be a contributing factor. try to take your mind off the matter and give yourself more time to recuperate.

 

[pmz]

i have a feeling this may also be a contributing factor. try to take your mind off the matter and give yourself more time to recuperate.

I took a leave of absence. So no issue there.