Prescription Medications: Vyvanse, 30mg Daily, Prozac 40mg
Daily Supplements: Phosphatidyl Choline
Prescription Medications: Vyvanse, 30mg Daily, Prozac 40mg
Relevant Previous Drug Experience:
DXM ~5x
LSD - 1x
Cannabis
MDMA - ~4x
Psilocybin - 1x
I thought that many of the trip reports didn't capture the difference between this drug and many other psychedelics that I have tried. I want to provide a summary of my reasoning when attempting
to convince my dearest friends to enlighten themselves through the use of this drug.
Two successive personal experiences with some of my closest friends lead to a profundity in our relationship that will change our lives forever and confirmed my original intuitions. I've decided to hypothesize as to what is happening, or what appears to be happening, while taking this chemical.
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It literally plants new neural pathways for all facets of experience, giving a person the ability to grow apart from entrenched neural pathways, as if all the lessons one has learned are seeds sowed from their own respective neural trees and branches.
Unlike every other drug I've had where I appeared to be having seemingly enlightening experiences, this drug felt more like taking Vyvanse, or something completely unobtrusive, complimentary, and clarifying. The "hallucinations" seemed more to be an ability to deconstruct your perceptions and thoughts and view them in their base parts, before reconstructing them in completely new ways, almost unconsciously. Thus, one arrives at sudden, successive insights when this new construction becomes ludicrously difficult to create using your pre-existing life experiences and, more importantly and physiologically, your established neural pathways. In almost every single infinitesimal moment of this trip, the user is deconstructing, reconstructing, and finding new insights and new perspectives that destroy previously-conceived constraints. I wouldn't hesitate to imagine that one is learning an incredible amount, and may actually be significantly increasing many varied intelligences.
In fact, the drug feels so clean that, if taken and ridden all the way out, it's hard to distinguish if you are still in fact "tripping" near the end. I say this because I felt aware that I had retained all my insights and abilities from the previous few hours, as well as mindful that I will have newly-formed lessons and pristine memories to reinforce them.
Always interested in humanity, I feel like I uncovered many insights in how relationships between people work and how to bridge the gaps that separates them. I believe I have improved my ability to perceive how other people are perceiving and my ability to cater my communication to their preferred channels - the ones they are most adept at, and find most interesting.
I have had two experiences with this chemical, one with a friend of mine that I didn't know very intimately thanks to an ocean of time, and the second with my dearest friend. The first time, I took 1mg and an hour later took a second hit, totaling 2mg. My closest friend, having no experiences with anything beyond marijuana, decided that he wanted to experiment with the chemical extremely carefully and took 250µg every 20 minutes, until he reached a total of 1750µg. I followed the same procedure and observed just how functional I could be while appreciating the enlightening
effect that made me see like a newborn child.
In trying to explain to my friends who are generally apprehensive about taking any hallucinogens, I told them that on regular hallucinogens, users have no choice in the matter as to how they are
"tripping." If the user is hallucinating visually, that individual cannot partake in activities that require ignoring warping and other similar effects. However, with this chemical, the "hallucinations" seem to result as users direct their perception and thought to a component or aspect of something, such as a specific part of an image of the universe, an assessment of human existence, or Rachmaninoff's emotional echoes. The user deconstructs these and sees them clearly, not run through the comparison machine that is the existing and prevalent neural choice. These so-called
"hallucinations" are directable; one minute, users can observe a flat image of the beach and see it in a way they could have never appreciated, and the next minute, they can understand the director of a good movie on a visceral level. Users analyze the characters’ relationships, sympathizing, empathizing, and drawing deep conclusions about these implications that would have taken up too much processing power in sobriety. The movie won't be warping or odd in any way, and afterward you can simply redirect your attention, and resume mentally bending images.
The pro-sexual, and really, "pro-love-and-empathy" nature of this drug seems to be based on the
ability to communicate more effectively with the people the user is with and the ever-improving ability to forgive their humanity. A metaphor that I used to explain it was that each person’s mind is like a pool of water. Fear clouds and causes disturbances in a person’s pool of water, making it hard for people to see each other’s true selves. When two people interface, they have to see each through two turbulent, cloudy bodies of water. This drug stills and cleans that water. During the trip, users are better able to understand how to both clean their own pool and see more clearly into the other person’s pool.
Because of my Prozac, I find that I am mentally exhausted most of the time, even after 10 hours of sleep, and often need 12 to function at my optimum ability. I only slept 5 hours after each time I
took this chemical and felt mentally acute and motivated the next day… not to mention smarter, more confident in my existence as a being, and more in tune with the universe and everything it has to offer us during our lifetimes … as well as amazed at even my own biological entity and how we as individuals can be and choose our paths.
For those who have ever taken psychedelics and remember noticing a novice tendency in yourself or friends to want to "force" the experience, one analogy that helped me explain how clean this drug was in comparison was to tell him that on this drug, you are simply unable to "force it." You are almost the most true to yourself, and your experience as you can be; you cannot help but grab life by the horns every moment, the way you most naturally would be inclined to.
There you are. This is my best attempt to describe, what to me, feels like one of the drugs that could be used to allow everyone to understand each other better and love one another. It is a drug unlike anything I've ever had because it allows you to form new connections independently from your previous life existence, bypassing systems of comparison and prejudice. It fosters learning and appreciation of every facet of existence.
