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Why are men typically older in relationships?

I had an affair with a woman in her early 40s when I was 23. I still knock one out thinking of her sometimes. I swear if i was not married to a women I love I would have married her. When you young a woman who has experience in life and knows what she wants in bed is something every young man should have. Glad i not marry her now because that 21 yeaars ago and she be a granny . Give me a women in her mid 30s to early 40s then a young girl in her early 20s any day of the week . Older women are much better in bed .
 
cowardescent said:
Why are men almost always older in relationships? How does this happen? Excuse me as I'm not well versed in the art of dating but this is something that puzzles me.

It's known that women tend to prefer older men but how do most relationships end up like that? Age isn't visible. With height, a woman when picking someone to date can instantly see that a man is shorter than her and refuse him, same with facial appearance and hygiene. All obvious on a person.

But you have to get to know someone a while before knowing their age so do women go in with great hopes for a good looking guy then turn him down after the third date when she learns that he's 17 and she's 21?
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The older men are the more wealth and status they have. Also the older you are the more confidence in yourself you have, generally speaking, and women love confidence.
 
I spend nearly 7 years in a relationship with a woman9 years and 11 months older than me


At first I was pretty okay with it but over time (aside from the emotional abuse I suffered) I became less and less attracted to her.
She started gaining weight and became very stagnant in her life.

I felt like a child taking care of a mother who was ill equipped to take care of herself let alone me.

Im much more attracted to females around my age or a bit younger.
Not to say the occasional older woman hasn't caught my attention these days though.

A lot of that has to do still with physical attraction. The one woman Ive been seeing a bit is slightly younger than my ex but magnitudes cuter and much more emotionally intelligent.
That being said; I dont think I could see myself getting into a long term monogamous relationship with someone significantly older than I.
It just.. Doesn't feel right? Idk..!

There might also be something about the inherent "dominance" factor that comes from someone older.
 
I have always dated younger , just a couple years. My fwb is 16 years younger though
 
Emotional IQ should be the same in a relationship. Generally speaking, a guy that is 3 years older than a girl has the same emotional IQ. Anything else will cause friction and static or it could be too loose of a fit. So I'm saying that women are emotionally smarter than men.
 
ions said:
Emotional IQ should be the same in a relationship. Generally speaking, a guy that is 3 years older than a girl has the same emotional IQ. Anything else will cause friction and static or it could be too loose of a fit. So I'm saying that women are emotionally smarter than men.
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I’m not going to get into this with you but this is incorrect.
 
My impression is because women tend to want more maturity than is normally afforded by men in their age group

Off topic anecdote.
I had my first girlfriend at 16. She was 23 and I thought I was the hot shit at the time for having an "older woman".
When I turned 23 suddenly I realized that was a little weird coming from the other perspective.... There was no way in hell I would be dating a 16 year old.
Now I'm in my 30s and I honestly don't know if that was statutory rape. I was whole heartedly into it myself, but when I got older
and had that changed perspective I realized I can't really understand where her mind was to think openly dating a 16 year old was ok.
 
I'm not sure if somebody already said this, but a big part of it is biological. Men are typically interested in sex more when they're older and men are (typically) fertile longer than women. Charlie Chaplin had a kid when he was 73.
 
I was a virgin until a woman 7 years older than me took my virginity. There were no feelings involved. My first wife was 17 years older than me at 21..... boy was that ever a mistake ! 9 years later, hurt, confused, rejected, and lonely I moved in to a house next to a bar. I started living my 20's in my 30's, and I was at my Prime. I constantly brought a parade of women, and guys home so as not to risk people getting a DUI in one of the counties in metro Atlanta.

A good friend was the bartender, and she was dating my roommate.
At 21, I became immediately 40 helping raise two young boys. I also traveled Internationally, had a really good job, and was doing Coke to beat the band.

Well traveled =lots of stories, good sense of humor, and essentially I bounced at the bar. I'm 6'4", and was 220 with a long ponytail past my belt, and a mountain man biker beard. Confidence, compassion, respect, and extremely loving sensuality I think women can feel, and notice that make an experienced man attractive.

Like others have said. Men mature slower, and so don't ever mature.
 
I have some bias here because no one in my family has ever had a divorce:

My grandfather was 10 years younger than my grandmother when they married.

My aunt on the other hand is at least 20 years younger than my uncle and they've been divorced.

I'm pretty sure the answer has everything to do with the fact that typical marriages in my country look like 'supposedly' tough men with major psychological problems tend to be overbearing on younger women whom probably haven't met too many boys their age while they were in high school who were like, strangely into them.

My girlfriend was kind of like that. She was all over me at first. Narcissists tend to do that, though. They shower you with affection outright at first, ensaring you, so to speak. I can't imagine being a girl in that position. Men who are like that have a tendency to rape women after all.

ions said:
Emotional IQ should be the same in a relationship. Generally speaking, a guy that is 3 years older than a girl has the same emotional IQ. Anything else will cause friction and static or it could be too loose of a fit. So I'm saying that women are emotionally smarter than men.
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Actually, I think you're misrepresenting facts here. Women tend to be more emotionally mature than men.
 
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I once read that the longevity or the lasting of a relationship of a couple that is 8 years age gap or over is lower than those of similar age gaps. Now that doesnt apply to everyone because some couples prove that age is literally a number and they get on amazingly and some couples who are the same age will argue and bicker till the end of time (or their relationship)

As others have pointed out though here that as men get older and dont always have the same energy they once had for hitting the gym like clockwork and start to realise they should probably try to settle down if what they want is the whole Wife, Kids, House, Holidays , Grandkids experience.
 
I'm not sure, but now that I'm in 50's I'm glad because I prefer women who are 10-20 years younger... so maybe there's still hope for me yet!
 
birdup.snaildown said:
I'm not sure if somebody already said this, but a big part of it is biological. Men are typically interested in sex more when they're older and men are (typically) fertile longer than women. Charlie Chaplin had a kid when he was 73.
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Probably but I think fertility has little to do with sex drive. I have been dating this 83 year old woman who loves sex and is looking for that D. She's a rare one for sure but I still think for women as long as they keep having sex they never really "lose" it. For men it's a given that we are seeking out sex so of course it's never really lost for us.
 
i usually go to old folks places to xray them, and i have seen a couple decent looking older women - very rare gems - but they do exist
 
Mr. Krinkle said:
i usually go to old folks places to xray them, and i have seen a couple decent looking older women - very rare gems - but they do exist
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That's the thing with aging old dogs like you and I, all of the older good looking guys and girls are getting fewer and fewer as we age.

Good luck out there, I know the dating scene is rough.
 
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