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Why are men typically older in relationships?

C

cowardescent

Bluelighter
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Jun 29, 2017
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Why are men almost always older in relationships? How does this happen? Excuse me as I'm not well versed in the art of dating but this is something that puzzles me.

It's known that women tend to prefer older men but how do most relationships end up like that? Age isn't visible. With height, a woman when picking someone to date can instantly see that a man is shorter than her and refuse him, same with facial appearance and hygiene. All obvious on a person.

But you have to get to know someone a while before knowing their age so do women go in with great hopes for a good looking guy then turn him down after the third date when she learns that he's 17 and she's 21?
 
My first sexual encounter was with a 22yo girl when i was 17. She fell in love with me but i didn't want to date at the Time. It was weird though, these days i tend to date girls the same age as me or -2 years.
 
A girl 3 years older took my virginity.

I lile older women and younger so i don't have your answer.

The only thing i can think of is the protector phenomenon that Braggen mentioned.
 
My explanation is that there are more females than males on Earth, so statistically those females will be younger than their male counterpart

EDIT: I didn't want to give the wrong information, sorry. There are more single women than single men. However I don't know how younger people (under 18, I guess) weigh into this statistic
 
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I'm guessing you're quite young? At your age, these slight differences in age are noticeable. For example, a 17-year-old guy is obviously younger than a 21-year-old woman. That's hard to hide.

When you get older, it's not as rare for the woman to be a few years older than the man. Larger age differences are noticeable and responsive to social norms. Nothing mysterious is required.
 
I tend to like women older than me, and my own mother is older than my father. It's not uncommon but when you're talking about decades older men than women or vice versa, it is
 
I lost my virginity to a girl 10 years older than me, and my second affair was 12 years older or so (both looked much younger, as I do now with T+12y and .. chronic single :().. in retrospective, I dunno. I've learnt much from the first girl but people in their 30's become strangely conservative ...

But yeah at the same time, with 17-20, many girls of my age told me I was too young for them. Age is relative.
 
Male/Female relationship. It's proven that men, on average, idealize youth scientifically even on some instinctual levels regarding peak reproductive age. Flipside, for whatever reason men in their mid 30a are considered the most attractive. Its not so cut and dry but if you look into it I promise this can be verified. Just being lazy.
 
Alex_1991 said:
Male/Female relationship. It's proven that men, on average, idealize youth scientifically even on some instinctual levels regarding peak reproductive age. Flipside, for whatever reason men in their mid 30a are considered the most attractive. Its not so cut and dry but if you look into it I promise this can be verified. Just being lazy.
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The Axe said:
Older men have more status and money and more ability to provide security for a woman and her offspring. Younger women have more reproductive potential.
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I say y'all summed it up pretty well.
 
Relationships are weird. Personally I never liked them. If anything though I think I prefer a female leader

We're not saying dominant and submissive but one who leads the dynamic. I tend to respect them more
 
My last long term relationship was with a woman 5 years older than me but since then I’ve dated a few women more than 20 years younger than me. The younger they are the more they complain about porn-educated boys/men of their own generation and praise the virtues of an experienced older gentleman. There may be more to the attraction than security and money.
 
With the exception of my last relationship, all the people i've been in a relationship with have been 4+ years older than me. My last relationship (12 or so years long) was with a man who was 2.5 years younger. Almost all, except for my current relationship (with a man who is 4 years older) have been with men 7+ years older. I look younger than I am (not ridiculously) but people have also said that I seem older than i am, personality-wise. it's possibly why there has been a mutual attraction with older men? I've never really thought too hard about that aspect of it, except that i don't have a 'daddy' thing. Ewwww

The 2 women I've been in something more than casual relationships with have been the same age as me.
 
Alex_1991 said:
Male/Female relationship. It's proven that men, on average, idealize youth scientifically even on some instinctual levels regarding peak reproductive age. Flipside, for whatever reason men in their mid 30a are considered the most attractive. Its not so cut and dry but if you look into it I promise this can be verified. Just being lazy.
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I think that’s accurate, I feel I’m just now coming into my peak in my 30’s. Compared to the attention I got at 18 there’s no comparison, the only problem is I’m not single and often they’re 18-25 which is a bit young for me. If only I had gotten half this attention when I was younger :(

I think for me it’s the fact I’m kind of considered an old timer amongst the music/psychedelic scene (if you don’t burn out in 5yrs your an old timer lol) in my area yet I’ve aged well, there’s this (as someone told me) “seasoned” look and aura that you’ve been places and seen things which appeals to younger women who’ve just began experiencing the world around them.

That and for some reason being in a relationship seems to make men 5x more attractive than single guys, the horrible irony of it all..

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
I think that’s accurate, I feel I’m just now coming into my peak in my 30’s. Compared to the attention I got at 18 there’s no comparison, the only problem is I’m not single and often they’re 18-25 which is a bit young for me. If only I had gotten half this attention when I was younger :(

I think for me it’s the fact I’m kind of considered an old timer amongst the music/psychedelic scene (if you don’t burn out in 5yrs your an old timer lol) in my area yet I’ve aged well, there’s this (as someone told me) “seasoned” look and aura that you’ve been places and seen things which appeals to younger women who’ve just began experiencing the world around them.

That and for some reason being in a relationship seems to make men 5x more attractive than single guys, the horrible irony of it all..

-GC
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I feel like I came into my own in my 30s too - I know i looked good in my 20s now, but was so insecure (mostly due to an incredibly abusive relationship I was in at the time), i had no idea. I mean, i had never thought of myself as particularly attractive up until i was about 30 (incidentally, right around the time i left aforementioned relationship). It was actually more about thinking of myself as a good person to begin with, someone worth loving, being loyal to, being thought of as a priority rather than an afterthought. Once I started seeing the inner coolness, i started looking at myself with different eyes in the mirror <3

As for guys in a relationship vs single guys - from a female perspective, I don't find that at all. If a guy is in a relationship, it's like there is an switch in my brain that turns off the attraction part when it comes to that person. I mean, i can think they are attractive on an academic level, but i simply don't allow myself to think seriously about them in that way - also, if they were to show interest in *me*, then they have shown themselves to be of a character that i find gross. Self-mastery when it comes to such things is an incredibly important quality to me - it's natural for people to be attracted to someone other than their partner (no thought policing here) but more than that is a deal breaker for me - so that person would become extremely ugly to me. (if the relationship was monogamous - but boundaries in mono/poly relationships is a whooooole different thread hehe)
 
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Because young men are immature. When I was 20 I’d never have even considered dating someone’s my age because men/boys at 20 still act like they are 15. Boys take much longer to mature in relation to girls. Sorry but that’s what I’ve always found to be the case. I have never dated a guy younger than me ever.
 
No one gonna say it? Okay I'll say it. Younger men don't want to settle down (typically). I like that late 20s - 30s where men start to get less and less action, their hair line is receding, they care less about hitting the gym and more about work, and start to panic and want to settle down (muahaha). That sweet spot where it's less about going out on Friday night and more about cuddling on the lounge with a good movie.

I avoid dating guys younger than me for the above reason but also due to sheer life experience. (I do keep an open mind in case they happen to be younger with more life experience but it's... not happened so far)... And that icky feeling of cradle robbing *shudder*
 
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