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Was pain your motivator to sober up?

6am-64-14m

Moderator: NMI, CD
Staff member
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Mar 18, 2018
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5,728
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Onda Cona
The years SO suffered from my self centered-ness. Hurts to think about it / it always will... a sustainable incentive to go through the hell of self realization. The pain. All that I have caused has been rerurned. This ache is more irritating than any injury ever sustained. Constant reminder of my other selves.
My answer is pain.
 

JessFR

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 22, 2012
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14,268
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the end of the line.
Absolutely it was.

I was suffering from so many directions. Daily withdrawal. The disgust and trauma from my experiences selling my body to fund my habit. Working sooooo hard all day every day to support it. My boyfriend screwing things up for us with his benzo issues. Being homeless. Fear that at any time we might not have enough heroin and end up too sick to work effectively to get more.

Having been arrested, having lost or distanced myself from almost everyone I cared about. The guilt from hurting people, lying to them, manipulating loved ones.

Eventually I had just had enough. So I got serious about a methadone program and moved.
 

SteeleyJ

Bluelighter
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
2,412
Location
We use our palm as a map.
My motivator is forward progress in life.... anytime that I start going a little to hard on any of that high tension shit I stop and think about how I will fuck up my plans if I let it keep going. I've fucked up enough of my life.... when you're in a hole the first thing you do is put down the damn shovel.
 
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