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Was pain your motivator to sober up?

The years SO suffered from my self centered-ness. Hurts to think about it / it always will... a sustainable incentive to go through the hell of self realization. The pain. All that I have caused has been rerurned. This ache is more irritating than any injury ever sustained. Constant reminder of my other selves.
My answer is pain.
 
Absolutely it was.

I was suffering from so many directions. Daily withdrawal. The disgust and trauma from my experiences selling my body to fund my habit. Working sooooo hard all day every day to support it. My boyfriend screwing things up for us with his benzo issues. Being homeless. Fear that at any time we might not have enough heroin and end up too sick to work effectively to get more.

Having been arrested, having lost or distanced myself from almost everyone I cared about. The guilt from hurting people, lying to them, manipulating loved ones.

Eventually I had just had enough. So I got serious about a methadone program and moved.
 
My motivator is forward progress in life.... anytime that I start going a little to hard on any of that high tension shit I stop and think about how I will fuck up my plans if I let it keep going. I've fucked up enough of my life.... when you're in a hole the first thing you do is put down the damn shovel.
 
sonicwhite said:
Okay back in 06 I had been hurt so bad...In may of 05 i went thru a psychosis. I think it was do to coming down off meth and my ex breaking up with me that thru me over the edge. I had this psychosis for seven months. two of those month's I was locked in jail. Okay I get out and after getting on abilify I started to come back to normal but I had seen all the things I lost. Like my ex, day's in jail.....And just my pride because it was a humbling experience. So when 06 rolled around and IDK if I'm supposed or allowed to talk about this. But I needed something to get me out of the rut I was in. I turned to my faith.....I started to notice that when I would smoke weed, my head would go off to places and I would imagine the strangest stuff. During that period of august of 05 to june of 06 I was still using meth even tho I had become psychotic and was still out there. And I used E sometimes and I even tripped shrooms which I turned to my faith and I had no withdrawals. No burst's to be compulsive. Everything just seemed to make sense for me. It was the first time since I was thirteen that I wasn't on something like weed or screwing ppl over because I wanted my next fix. So my goal in life is to help others Thats my motivator. What's your's?
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pain is the opposite for me as it drives my addiction to seek better relief.
 
Prettyboy12 said:
pain is the opposite for me as it drives my addiction to seek better relief.
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Same. :(

When drugs are your primary coping mechanism for a huge portion of your life, it's really hard to unlearn that habit.
 
Prettyboy12 said:
I have only been an addict 2yrs but Heroin and Meth are the devil!
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Yeah.

I'm don't seem to be too prone to amphetamine abuse fortunately. I've never had an issue stopping it and I've never enjoyed IV meth like other people seem to.

But heroin? I love it, no matter how much destruction is has bring into my life, a part of me still loves it and desires it whenever bad shit happens. :(

Honestly 2 years isn't that long. I mean different people's addictions can progress at different speeds, but usually 2 years is still fairly early into a habit. Good luck man. You're right, addiction is evil. And like the worst evil it disguises itself as something good. Then it destroys everything you have. :(
 
Im not 100% sober but I have a muzzle on the addiction right now.. if it ever starts to get bad again I will not hesitate to hit that doctor for methadone or sub.. I looked around and was like fuck this..... I want to accomplish some shit in life. Aquire some land.... I want a harley.... a boat.... wife... 2.5 kids and a white picket fence.

I will never have that shit shooting dope. I still eat some pills here and there but nomore waking up pulling up shots. That shit is done.

What got me..... the pain of wasted time.
 
combination of bordeom, pain, and a knowledge that my life really could be better was what motivated me.

that and my parents changing the locks to my house so i had the option of either going to rehab or being homeless with the clothes on my back.

i intend to go back to complete abstinence and my motivation for that, when i actually do it, will be health and overall happiness. but that's a bit different cos my drnking is no way near as compulsive or destructive as my using was.
 
In present e new not past because unfortunately I have still not managed to sober up sometimes I doubt I ever will but Munson motivator to do so is pride not pain I don't wanna associate with scum anymore I'm not a scumbag inside but I have become one I just want to sober up put this behind me do a university computing course get a student loan meet a nice girl and settle down before I lose my good looks(and my looks are literally all I have left)
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Give it time love...
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have fessed up to my therapist so we can make a plan to stop. not prepared to go anywhere near rock bottom again so i gotta catch myself before i sink. easier said than done though.
 
chinup said:
have fessed up to my therapist so we can make a plan to stop. not prepared to go anywhere near rock bottom again so i gotta catch myself before i sink. easier said than done though.
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Thought you were sober ☹️☹️☹️
my plug has been away so i been clean for like 2 infernal weeks but a part of me likes it... the conscious part hates it and im hoping that tomorrow she will be back and all the time i spent sober will go to waste as always!
 
strangeaeon said:
Thought you were sober ☹️☹️☹️
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i was mostly completely abstinent from all drugs for 2 years. then after my second lapse on dark and light last year and facing the prospect of autumn and winter in lockdown i was like 'fuck it i'll drnk, at least its not crack and heroin!'
strangeaeon said:
my plug has been away so i been clean for like 2 infernal weeks but a part of me likes it... the conscious part hates it and im hoping that tomorrow she will be back and all the time i spent sober will go to waste as always!
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i really hope you can get to a place where you can use a period like that to put some of the psychological groundwork in to be able to keep you clean once the dealer is back. honestly the first 2 weeks off any drug will always be infernal, it takes tme, but eventually not using becomes way better than using.
 
chinup said:
i was mostly completely abstinent from all drugs for 2 years. then after my second lapse on dark and light last year and facing the prospect of autumn and winter in lockdown i was like 'fuck it i'll drnk, at least its not crack and heroin!'

i really hope you can get to a place where you can use a period like that to put some of the psychological groundwork in to be able to keep you clean once the dealer is back. honestly the first 2 weeks off any drug will always be infernal, it takes tme, but eventually not using becomes way better than using.
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Been planning a trip outside of the city for a while but i am afraid and i am way too unstable as in i have so much cravings even if im basically not taking any meds except for cbd
and Pls dont let the drinking escalate to anywhere
honestly i would never compare heroin to any other drug. To me h is a whole other level of addictive like damn
i am thinking of just cutting myself like i used to when i was an emo kid, now im an emo "adult"
 
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