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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Vent/Rant Thread vs 3 (Triggering Content)

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ad lib said:
Yet the question remains.. why do I still miss him?
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My guess is you miss who he used to be and the obsession over him now is to check if he's gone back to who he was (because if he has then you'd assume it was you that changed him). IMO it's a way for you to get closure that you never got. But it's not healthy for you, especially when you're showing interest in someone new. You have to let go of the past before you can grasp the future :)
 
Black Rabbit of Inlè said:
My guess is you miss who he used to be and the obsession over him now is to check if he's gone back to who he was (because if he has then you'd assume it was you that changed him). IMO it's a way for you to get closure that you never got. But it's not healthy for you, especially when you're showing interest in someone new. You have to let go of the past before you can grasp the future :)
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That's pretty dead on accurate <3 people usually don't change back to who they once were, so I do need to let it go so I can have a shot with this new guy. Thanks for that- sometimes when you see your thoughts in writing by another person it helps :)
 
What ever that prevent us from winning defense at the end of the game has to go.. I mean if we had a win for every time we got smoked at the end of the game because of that shit strategy.. Don.. you have to go.
 
This girl still has a hold over me. It sucks. We talk sorta on/off through email, there's no real convosation going though. And she takes hours to reply sometimes.. I can't help but feel like she does that to get at me or to keep the distance, either way I hate it and it gets to me a lot. She still has feelings for me but she had to "viscously cut herself off" so she wouldn't get hurt. She's not natural when she speaks anymore, not like she used to be. I understand where she's coming from, but she's acting fake. I don't know.. I do this to myself, not sure what I'm expecting out of this. Subconciously I probabaly want her eh.

'Don't love someone who dosent love you back' isn't that the term?
 
floatingaround said:
This girl still has a hold over me. It sucks. We talk sorta on/off through email, there's no real convosation going though. And she takes hours to reply sometimes.. I can't help but feel like she does that to get at me or to keep the distance, either way I hate it and it gets to me a lot. She still has feelings for me but she had to "viscously cut herself off" so she wouldn't get hurt. She's not natural when she speaks anymore, not like she used to be. I understand where she's coming from, but she's acting fake. I don't know.. I do this to myself, not sure what I'm expecting out of this. Subconciously I probabaly want her eh.

'Don't love someone who dosent love you back' isn't that the term?
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Aw :( *hugs*

I know the feeling. I wish people would just be clear and upfront about feelings. Easier said than done though I suppose.

That phrase. Everyone always says it, but I doubt anyone really follows it. It's so damn hard. You love her because you're a good person. Because you're a good person with a big heart, you'll end up inevitably getting hurt. It's the sad nature of how this cruel world is. Try to cut off communication with her and see what happens. Perhaps she needs some space or is really busy? Sometimes the more space you give a person the more intrigued they become.

<3
 
ad lib said:
Aw :( *hugs*

I know the feeling. I wish people would just be clear and upfront about feelings. Easier said than done though I suppose.

That phrase. Everyone always says it, but I doubt anyone really follows it. It's so damn hard. Try to cut off communication with her and see what happens.
<3
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Yep pretty much.

She dosent seem to get it. I tell her how much it hurts me and I explain it well enough and then I block her and that's that. No it's not, a week later she emails me basically guilt tripping me to want to speak. Fucking selfish bitch.
 
Alcohol has been my nemesis for years it wss more of a love and haye relationship. I hope you fight it out hun
 
I'm not one who expects much, if anything from people.... I give myself wholeheartedly, will always be there for anyone...

But it really fucking shits me when people will lean on you/cry on your shoulder/get in touch whenever they need you, but then the one moment in a million years you actually need someone, *everyone* just fucking disappears. Not even a peep. Plenty of big talk about what they would do for their friends. I'm not talking about people being genuinely unavailable, they've plenty of time to shoot the shit/party with the others, but no time to actually help someone.
 
Fucking over this. Starting to get caught in this painfull cycle one again. You are the worst drug. You can cut me off, you have the strength. It's time to stop being selfish and turn the life support off bundle.
 
Eveleivibe said:
What's the matter, Cartesia? We're here for you n we'll listen x
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Thankyou , it's OK now.. at least temporarily. Too high to be worried. Which is not a good thing, but it is what it is at this point.

Perhaps if my friends had been able to help I wouldn't be high... but they were not. Thankyou for your support though , bluelight is somewhere I know I can always turn , helping be a part of that by offering a hand like you just did makes a world of difference =D reward yourself for being a good person
 
2 weeks clean

And I want out

I'm so fucking tired of distraction, healthy coping skills- progress at the gym, no cigarettes, work, nothing to do, nowhere to go

Withdrawals were nothing, I was hypomanic, I could do anything

And now I'm crashing and I just want to stop feeling, just shove my pre-frontal cortex into a vise grip
I fucking hate depression, I'm just fog steamed into flesh, I can't work anymore, I can't write, I can't read, I'm alone, what's one more time? I barely speak with the love of my life these days. It's amazing how you can shift from a nanosecond's being too much separation, to not speaking for weeks on end. How 10,000 nights spent alone seem to only cover the cost of 1 night in a lovers arms.

I'm tired.
 
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