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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

Painful One

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Jan 18, 2017
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That is right Ice!
“If you don’t got this, you DON’T GET IT”!!
so remain silent!

yeah, I backed off the tapering And adding Gabapentin.
slow and steady wins the race.
I am turtle-ing up and I have a hard shell! I am a Cancer, don’t fuck with me or you are gonna find some sharp claws!😃

The Ambien is really weird for me. I’m already off it actually because when I get it, I take it like crazy and just sleep for days.
It is the one prescription I abuse the hell out of. Then I crash from it but it’s like some mild depression and anxiety for two days.
No big deal for me! I have been through so much I hardly flinch at things others would probably need to go to rehab for.

My doctor said the Ambien is horrible and causes - all kinds of bad shit! He spouted off a horrific list of things it causes.
Im just not going to refill it. Honestly, I am relieved to be off it and not have it anymore because of what I said above, the tendency to take way too many. For me, I get desperate for sleep at times.

You know I imagine Michael Jackson had the same thing as me, narcolepsy. That is why he went to the extent of knocking himself out with propofol because he HAD TO perform! We narcolepsy people cannot function if we don’t get sleep. At all! Like you would think we are high as a kite on some bad shit if you saw us when it gets to that point. We go to great lengths to keep it together in public. We will adapt, improvise, and overcome In any situation!

On a good note, I just looked in the mirror and damn! This Botox is making me look like I am in my 20’s again!
Fucking HOT STUFF!!
 

Iceman1216

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@Painful One "
On a good note, I just looked in the mirror and damn! This Botox is making me look like I am in my 20’s again!
Fucking HOT STUFF!! "
You go girl !! Now get a Hot Holiday, ( don't:love: forget the shoes ) and strut your stuff) I hope that this procedure works for your pain, and if the side effect is one Hot Moma , well finally a drug with good side effects
 

Painful One

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Jan 18, 2017
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@Painful One "
On a good note, I just looked in the mirror and damn! This Botox is making me look like I am in my 20’s again!
Fucking HOT STUFF!! "
You go girl !! Now get a Hot Holiday, ( don't:love: forget the shoes ) and strut your stuff) I hope that this procedure works for your pain, and if the side effect is one Hot Moma , well finally a drug with good side effects
Haha! Yes indeed!!
Finally a drug with good side effects! I think it has some bad ones too but even those are kinda good for me. It has a speed like effect.
Has given me more energy! Wow it has been painful though. I am feeling the injections in the jaw now. Ouch!
good thing I am tough! 😃 The doctor told me it takes two weeks to fully kick in so it is just getting better and better.

My pain is breaking up some. The Gabapentin is helping over all. It has been an adjustment and still continues to be one.
I managed to kick off the Ambien. YAY! That was the one prescription I abused like crazy!

Yeah, I am going to strut my stuff!! Thanks Ice! Love you brother! ❤👍😘
 

Squeaky

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I made it last almost 2 weeks this time. I’m down to my last 4 pills today.
I guess it’s getting better. Im focusing less on enjoying my pills. Kratom is interfering with the functionality of my oxycodone, so I don’t get much fun from them. The oxy must be getting washed out of my blood without ever having a chance because the Kratom is taking up all of the opiate receptors. I have been averaging 180 mg per day and I can tell that this time the withdrawals will be much less. I haven’t been as constipated either, which is a sure sign to me that I have been getting very little overall effect from my script.
I saw a TedTalks about a stop-drinking pill that removes any pleasurable. ‘Naltrexone’ I think. It takes away the pleasure you feel when you get drunk. That seems to be what Kratom has done for me. I’m taking 6 pills per day but it feels like 1 or 2. Hopefully that means Ill be withdrawing from 30 or 60 mg every day.
 

Painful One

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I made it last almost 2 weeks this time. I’m down to my last 4 pills today.
I guess it’s getting better. Im focusing less on enjoying my pills. Kratom is interfering with the functionality of my oxycodone, so I don’t get much fun from them. The oxy must be getting washed out of my blood without ever having a chance because the Kratom is taking up all of the opiate receptors. I have been averaging 180 mg per day and I can tell that this time the withdrawals will be much less. I haven’t been as constipated either, which is a sure sign to me that I have been getting very little overall effect from my script.
I saw a TedTalks about a stop-drinking pill that removes any pleasurable. ‘Naltrexone’ I think. It takes away the pleasure you feel when you get drunk. That seems to be what Kratom has done for me. I’m taking 6 pills per day but it feels like 1 or 2. Hopefully that means Ill be withdrawing from 30 or 60 mg every day.
Well, good job! That is progress!! Slowly but surely. You did much better with your prescription this month.
I am proud of you! 👍

I am actually really glad to hear that you have less constipation. Geez! You saying you only go once a week is worrisome.
That is not good for your body at all. Especially your Liver.

I hope the withdrawals are much less for you. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Gabapentin really helps opiate withdrawal. I keep going past the time that I should be taking my morphine and would normally be in major withdrawal. I am forgetting to take it!

Keep up the good work my friend! You are doing great!

It is such a relief when you can just make it the entire month on your prescription and be okay. So much better that way.
❤
 

Squeaky

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Wds suck. In a week I’ll feel better and I’ll just be missing my pills. Right now I can’t sleep and I can’t get comfortable. I have to go to work tomorrow and Christmas is 3 days away. I had two weeks of feeling pretty good but today I feel pretty stupid for going through this again.
 

Painful One

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Wds suck. In a week I’ll feel better and I’ll just be missing my pills. Right now I can’t sleep and I can’t get comfortable. I have to go to work tomorrow and Christmas is 3 days away. I had two weeks of feeling pretty good but today I feel pretty stupid for going through this again.
Wd’s do suck! I am sorry you are enduring them again. Try as hard as you can to stick it out because it is dropping your tolerance and then you can get back to the point where your prescription is working again.

Without the Kratom. Try not to use that. Use a very small amount of lope. just enough to keep you barely okay.

You did much better making your prescription last this month. Just keep taking small steps.
 

Painful One

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Don’t get overwhelmed with it being Christmas and everything.

Just think of how good the New Year will be once you make it through.
Then you never have to go through that again!
If you stick to your prescription and you will feel good on your prescription.

Good luck my friend and try to enjoy the holidays as much as you can.
You have a beautiful family and that is a lot to be grateful for.
 

Squeaky

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Don’t get overwhelmed with it being Christmas and everything.

Just think of how good the New Year will be once you make it through.
Then you never have to go through that again!
If you stick to your prescription and you will feel good on your prescription.

Good luck my friend and try to enjoy the holidays as much as you can.
You have a beautiful family and that is a lot to be grateful for.
Maybe this will be the month I ask for help.
I say all of this because I am certain someone out there is going through this also. Maybe if I make it out alive, my tale can help someone else.
It’s really hard to stay positive when I feel so depressed. It’s amazing how impossible the near future sounds. TWO WEEKS till my next script!?! Last month it was almost 3 weeks and when it finally came it seemed like nothing. But the beginning is like preparing to climb Mt Everest.
 

Painful One

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Maybe this will be the month I ask for help.
I say all of this because I am certain someone out there is going through this also. Maybe if I make it out alive, my tale can help someone else.
It’s really hard to stay positive when I feel so depressed. It’s amazing how impossible the near future sounds. TWO WEEKS till my next script!?! Last month it was almost 3 weeks and when it finally came it seemed like nothing. But the beginning is like preparing to climb Mt Everest.
Remember when we had other random people come into this thread and thank us for our stories here?
They named all of us by name and said they feel like they know us personally.
This thread gets mega views!
Others are watching and listening and we ARE helping others as well as ourselves and supporting each other!
Keep that in mind.

We may have lost ShroomySatori but you and I are still alive and fighting this!!

We have to be proud of ourselves for that and it takes a lot of courage to even talk about this anywhere!
We have learned a lot of lessons that will and have helped others. Inspired others!

That is major! Good job @Squeaky

I know it seems like Mt. Everest but you can do this! Come on! Fight!!
Kick this things ass once and for ALL!!!!
 

Painful One

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If I can make it 40 years with undiagnosed narcolepsy then you can do this @Squeaky
The doctor told me he did not know how I made it. Most would be dead!

Come on my dear friend, don’t give up! Never give up!
If we are going down, we are going down fighting!
you hear me?!
 

Squeaky

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Thanks PO
It’s been 6 days without oxy this time. The depression is gone. Kratom is keeping me from suffering at this point. I have to take it every few hours to keep my back pain down, and close to bedtime or I wake up in Kratom wd’s in the middle of the night. Then I can’t really take more because the first thing it does is wake me up. So I have to get the timing at night perfect.
I had a Christmas miracle though. I was feeling pretty crappy and when I went looking for Ativan on Christmas morning and I found 1 oxy. Just enough to get me through Christmas morning without withdrawals. In a pill case I go into every day, somehow it stayed hidden until that morning.
Totally saved my bacon.
I’ll get there. Maybe not this month. Maybe not next month. But every month I get a little closer to being conscious of the cycle I’m in and knowing it’s going badly. I know that for the rest of my life I’ll always dream about the days when they increased my prescription and I could just take a pill and relax. I guess that’s the very definition of being an addict..... even if I’m using then for legit reason.
 

Squeaky

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Oh yeah..... and day 6 now and I’m still having trouble crapping. It’s slowly getting better, and I didn’t start off as bad this time. A couple of months ago I was up to 300+ mg/day oxy and it was murder for about 2 weeks. I hadn’t gone in about 10 days that time.
 

Painful One

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Thanks PO
It’s been 6 days without oxy this time. The depression is gone. Kratom is keeping me from suffering at this point. I have to take it every few hours to keep my back pain down, and close to bedtime or I wake up in Kratom wd’s in the middle of the night. Then I can’t really take more because the first thing it does is wake me up. So I have to get the timing at night perfect.
I had a Christmas miracle though. I was feeling pretty crappy and when I went looking for Ativan on Christmas morning and I found 1 oxy. Just enough to get me through Christmas morning without withdrawals. In a pill case I go into every day, somehow it stayed hidden until that morning.
Totally saved my bacon.
I’ll get there. Maybe not this month. Maybe not next month. But every month I get a little closer to being conscious of the cycle I’m in and knowing it’s going badly. I know that for the rest of my life I’ll always dream about the days when they increased my prescription and I could just take a pill and relax. I guess that’s the very definition of being an addict..... even if I’m using then for legit reason.
No problem my friend.
I am SO glad you found that one Oxy pill for Christmas.
I actually prayed for a Christmas miracle for you so that is amazing for me to hear.
I was thinking about you.

That is right, you will get there. Just keep moving forward little by little.
You are making good progress.

I am glad to hear you are going to the bathroom a little better. Still not good but it is getting better.
You will feel a lot better when you get your body working better. Toxins need to get out!
Hang in there. Things are turning around.
 

Squeaky

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About 2 or 3 months ago I ran through my script in 8 days. I wound up with nothing for 3 weeks. Around day 18, I started to feel normal. I still had back problems but the nasty side effects from the pills and the wds were gone except for my dependance on Kratom. I had a couple of days feeling like it was time to stop filling my prescription and get on with my life after pills. 5 days later I was burning through my next script just as quickly as previous months, unable to quit, and wondering how in the world everything could be so different in so few days.
I blame the medical community in the US. I have had a crazy tolerance since the first pill several years ago(back before the bullshit ‘opioid crisis’). I have moved up the ladder to now where I need 90 mg of oxy to get any relief. Once before, I did quit cold turkey. I told my doctor and she was happy. When my pain was off the chart a month later she said “It would be irresponsible to just throw me back into the prescription I had before”. So I suffered for 6 months until I had another surgery. After that she upped my dose and got me to a pain mgmt Dr and I have been scripted 90 mg/day since then.
I am certain that if I come clean to my Dr, or stop picking up the pills at the pharmacy, someone will say “it would be irresponsible” to start me back on the dose I’m at now. When the news first really started reporting on the ’opioid crisis’ my Dr tried to push me down into a lower dose but I pushed back. And I have been scared they will cut me down since then. So I get them filled, tell myself I won’t use them, plan to squirrel them away, and fail every time. All because I don’t want to be in that situation again.
It totally sucks to live in this political climate where even the doctors are being influenced by the ‘fake news’ to the point that they are refusing to provide effective care based on public opinion. Ironically, if I knew I could easily get more from my Dr I would probably have quit a year ago.

Bitter, party of one
......Bitter...... party of one.
 

Squeaky

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I fucked myself, starting back at the beginning now. Habit in full force, mind is mush.
Don’t get mad at yourself. The shame of screwing up always makes me try to hide the truth instead of looking for a solution.
Just because you fell off the wagon doesn’t mean you can’t get back on.
You got clean before. You will get cleaned up this go round also. Don’t be hard on yourself. Anybody who says they never fucked up is full of shit!

And you’re not at the beginning. At the beginning you had no idea how got where you were. You had nothing but fear of quitting and withdrawals. It probably sounded better to give up and die rather than trying to get off the drugs. The beginning really sucks because of the unknown.
You’re maybe not at the end of the race but probably a little closer to the finish line than you realize.
Give yourself some credit. You know what it takes to quit. You know it will be hard, but doable. Maybe not today, but soon you will decide you have had enough and you will get through it one day at a time until you’re cleaned up again.
 
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