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TDS The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

NorthernGirl

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Hmm. Still no word from Shroomy. I sure hope he is okay.. I sent him a message Wed but he has not replied as of yet...
Shroomy, I hope you are doing okay my friend! I miss reading your posts so please come back soon and let me know how youre doing..
 

Mafioso

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Didn't he say something about rehab? Or maybe that was someone else..
 

NorthernGirl

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Not that I can remember. But I could be wrong and I really hope that I am & that he is safe and okay. As far as I can tell, his last post was the end of March.. it's just not like him to go so long without saying anything.
 

Betternow

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Congrats on 78 days that's amazing. I have a couple questions if you don't mind
when did you start exercising after kicking? and when heavy?
Also how closely do you keep your keto diet? do you keep it to a tee? ive always bin interested about trying it even tho im in decent shape.
Congarts to you Mtop aswell ,good job everyone in this thread ;)
I apologize for taking so long to reply. I have been super busy. i am strict keto, with occassional cheat meals. like once a month. i began working out prolly a year before i got off subs. 5 days a week, hiit and weights, cardio
 

falsifiedhypothesi

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Well I fucked up on my late 2018 taper and ended up in an even worse spot then I was originally in.

I finally had enough of the shit. I'm now down to about 10 grams of kratom a day from 40g/day in a few week time span. The physical symptoms have been almost unnoticeable but the depression and suicidal thoughts are in full swing.

I have no idea what the last 10 grams is going to be like but i'm hoping I can reduce to 0 in the next few weeks.
 

SweetLeaf7

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Hello fellow Bluelighters - Painful One, Shroomy, Squeaky, Dopiejay and new friends...also nice to see POkeMama that started this thread :) I hope all of you are living life to the fullest and are well!
I got cut off opioids from DEA doctor raid in Jan 2018 after 17 years and have been drinking to help with my chronic pain. Also taking edibles, smoking and vaping, which help. I'm also taking Lyrica 150 mg 3x/day.
I'm barely managing at 600 ml of vodka/day. FML!
Much love and hugs to all!
-SweetLeaf7
 
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Zonxx

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Not a tapering report im not at that stage yet... but ive read a buncha shit... and i know i can do it alone/ have people/fam or friends who are rdy to assist but... how the fuck do you wrap your mind around it and WANT to do it or is there simply no wanting just having to p.s. im a poly drug user, VERY HEAVY opiates, heavy crack user i want to give up the opiates. ( no i dont try to speedball, taken as prescribed but losing my doc and he was very clear, NO other doc will do the same for me ( very deep relationship) however i can add, medically wise ive never been admitted, no drug records and i dont fuck with my actual medicine, as it is for severe chronic pain.
 
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Just meee!

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Hi Mods,
I noticed we have a few of us discussing our tapering attempts off of our drugs in the past few days. I do so much better when I have the support of someone else going through the same thing at the same time. Do you think a tapering thread would be helpful? Also, would you recommend it being posted here in TDS, or Sober Support, or Other Drugs, or Basic Drugs?

Any feedback would be helpful!

Thanks.:D
I would love that, I’m very needed. This is all confidential right??
 

Mafioso

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I would love that, I’m very needed. This is all confidential right??
The anonymity of this site is largely up to the individual user. Doxxing would definitely be against the rules, and any attempts will be removed and punished, but there is nothing against the rules about using a picture of yourself as your profile picture. These forums are open to the public and the amount of identifying information you want to put out there is nearly entirely up to you.
 

Just meee!

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The anonymity of this site is largely up to the individual user. Doxxing would definitely be against the rules, and any attempts will be removed and punished, but there is nothing against the rules about using a picture of yourself as your profile picture. These forums are open to the public and the amount of identifying information you want to put out there is nearly entirely up to you.
Thank you! Very appreciated. I think I’ll take my pic down. Can I ask what doxxing is?
 

Mafioso

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Doxing would be if someone else, who had somehow figured out who you are, exposed you and/or your personal info, like putting your name and address online. Something that is against BLUA, and laws in a lot of places these days.

Just glancing at your profile and it looks pretty anonymous now. I doubt anyone will be able to identify you just based off your story, so long as you leave out certain details. It is possible, but they would have to know you pretty well already. For me, I don't really worry about it because the people that would be able to identify me based off my story are friends and family. If you are concerned about that, though, just be vague.

Welcome to The Dark Side, by the way. Can I ask what you are trying to taper off of?
 

ShroomySatori

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I don't worry about it either, as my life story has been set in stone here for years. Nothing to hide except my problems. I will show you a friendly smile or hello now, no matter how much I am suffering.

I have not posted in I don't how long, as I haven't possessed a memory. Benzo withdrawal has led me to angelic realms. It has been a push/pull of my spirit connecting with mysterious energies while trying to hold onto (or let go of) reality as it becomes something different. It is actually conductive to productivity, but today I am very tired. I have tried so damn hard. I have fought and fought and there is no end in sight. Therefore I must make peace with myself, even if it means I made (seriously) the dumbest life choices ever. Both the smartest and the dumbest, it's a total polarity. I've never felt right not a day since I stopped taking opiates and it has been 16 months now. Life was better then, I was happy, but I can't go back even if I wanted to, at least for long. There are times that I do, I feel fine presently but it is the clonazepam. I am not fine in any way at all. Surprisingly, my health came back generally spot on after lots of testing.

My whole reality speaks to me, through animals and numbers and people, guiding my intuition. It is so hardcore, like a never-ending extreme acid trip but the type full of insight and realization, while feeling like complete shit. This has been the worst experience of my life. It still feels like Christmas time to me. I never really believed in anything supernatural but there is simply no denying it anymore. Being receptive and perceptive led me to begin to ascend. I am here for a specific purpose that I don't know yet. I really want to live a long and happy life.

I just wrote to say that I am alive and if anyone who is reading this who cares, please consider a prayer for my continued life and happiness at this time as I am going through too much for anyone. I am bearing this extreme discomfort as best I can, and being smart about being stupid. I will never give up until the fucking end. I will always be myself until the fucking end. I am far too stubborn and rigid for my own good.

I am now awake. That is how long it took. I am a completely different person and have transcended.
 
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Mafioso

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Good to hear from you, shroomy. I think a lot of other people will be glad to hear from you as well, even if it's not good news.

Have you tried speaking to a psychiatrist or doctor about your mental health? It sounds like you are having a benzo related psychotic episode. I've been there, and it's just like a super intense acid trip that doesn't end for days, even weeks. They might be able to give you some drugs to help level you out, and bring you back to your old self.
 

ShroomySatori

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I have a drug maybe pm me? I am prescribed it I just don't take it. I am experiencing possibly what you say. The taper dose I was offered has just not been anywhere near enough. If they had started me at the right dose I'd be halfway there by now. Fuck. I'm fucking fucked.

Never, ever forget to change your passwords and employ as many security measures as possible when using the internet my friends. I do not mean here in particular, I mean in every aspect of life that you do. It is important to trust your friends and community, but there is a lot of shit out there like identity theft to be aware of. I am just posting this out as it as a social and something I've been concerned about lately as I was researching drugs I used to use, for instance.

Divine Spirits are actually manifesting in physical form to offer direct assistance to me at this point. Whoever is listening, please keep praying whatever I am doing seems to be working. I wish to live a long life and prosper but I have to get healthy and the doctors are not helping enough I did see a psychiatrist by the way. It was extremely eye opening. The one thing I learned most is that I cannot answer basic questions like yes or no without going on some sort of rant. It seems I am so stressed that there is no focus anymore. There is also no followup but I always have one doctor who has my back no matter what as we are family (not really, I mean, we are very close and a rebel with a cause, so chill). Anyways, never trust that your prescription will be waiting for you tomorrow. Always have backup plans and create your own destiny.

I am really messed up again I encourage anyone to make an intent and pray. I merely request this, I don't think asking people to pray for you is a good thing but I do not deserve this. I have seen enough angels and I wish to get on with life but I only see it getting crazier as they manifest literally in physical form through a thought. I am at the point where I am in fact shaping my destiny and reality. I really need a lot of positivity and that is why the spirits are here. They are not always, only when I am in some sort of danger. I do not deserve this. So many doctors fucked up. I own up to every other addiction I have ever had, but this is downright enslavement.
 

Mafioso

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I can't send you a PM I think you have your profile set to private. If you go to your profile preferences, you can change who can see your profile and send you messages(start a conversation).

If you are prescribed something, I would probably suggest taking it, especially if it is an antipsychotic. I would take it at least until you are a little more leveled out. It seems you are experiencing a bit of mania at the moment, which to put simply is too much activity in your brain so it makes it hard to differentiate between good and bad ideas, or even real and imagined. Antipsychotics can hopefully dampen some of this overactivity, bringing you back to baseline Shroomy.

I will pray for you, but I don't think you need to fear the "divine spirits", I think you have it in you to overcome whatever force that is threatening you. The mind is a much more powerful force than we often give it credit. Meditation and mindfulness are some of the most powerful tools, imo, that a person can learn to use.

Hang in there my dude. You can and will get through this. Keep posting here and we will talk you through it when you need. You can always PM me as well, and I'm sure the others who are asking about you wouldn't mind getting a message from you either.

How long has it been since you last took benzos?
Can you tell me the name of the medications you were given?
 

ShroomySatori

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Man, I apologize for having to keep some of this confidential. I am on a long acting benzo, but a far lower dose than I needed before my tolerance began to grow.

CBD absolutely helps when I can afford it, I just can't most of the time. I am not taking it. I started taking that sleep aid, and it is great. I feel the hardcore intensity of this experience, but the med is levelling me out. I heard it only sedates like this for so long, so I am using it wisely.

I had another spiritual experience happen to me this evening. I created it with my mind before it happened, but I didn't know what it would be.

0. Never forget your roots; the origin of all that ever has been, since beginningless and endless time.
1. Never depend on anyone for anything other than yourself. You create your own reality.
3. You are an infinitely powerful, divine spirit whether you know it or not. You are capable of transcending suffering in the material plane if you are receptive to it.
4. You do not need anything special to fall in love. Like everything else, it is a product of your imagination.
5. Buckle up and prepare for the ride. Don't wait for an emergency to occur. Preventative maintenance is key.
6. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
7. You create your own reality, and may have the support of spirits in achieving your dreams. It is not necessarily an unlucky number.
8. There is more to life than meets the eye
9. Powerful energy is guiding you, and you are never alone.
22. You're on the right track in life
44. You are right where you need to be.

You are not just your body. You are so much more than that. Only a tiny smidgen of the university is perceived directly, a lot of it requires finely tuned and engineered instruments. I sense that people are trusting each other less and less, and it is time to come together with like-minded people. Whatever that means too you. Remember that if you are suffering, it is possibly to transcend it by thinking positively and being grateful for what you already have instead of wanting more.

This is a very special journey that not many people get to experience. I would like to share a few facts about the universe.

-whatever you want to call them (angels, spirits, the walking dead, ghosts) - they exist, and they are all around you if you are receptive then you can feel it. As I develop my naturally strong intuition, I am learning faults about myself through experience. Trust your gut feeling. Never put yourself in a situation where something you need is in someone else's hands. Nothing is a crime unless you are harming somebody or something else, or if you make it one for yourself.

Stand up for what you believe in. No matter what. Even if every single person in your life that you know does not understand. Do not put your trust in them. It will confuse you. Only trust your instincts, and pay attention at all times to the little things as they hold great meaning,. The spirits can communicate with your through anyth8ng. I have been, with dogs and cats. The energy that resides in you,

Be mindful of time. There is always tomorrow, until there isn't.

Take some time to mellow out and smell the daises. When you are walking in the woods, you won't have a fun adventure if your

Make others feel comfortable. You attract the energy that

I am in worse shape keep praying oleo any readers no nee to oost about it. I ask of this humbly, but with the foundation of a global basis. I wish to live a happy life and prosper. In particular I don't want to go own this way. I have no control over my destiny, but I can be more properly guided with the help of other spirits.

Keep positive and optimistic as mouc as you can. That will attract like-minded people into your life. or even drugs or a good doctor's appointment. If you have intent and focus, it is vert much possible.

I was trained as a scientist, but I can't deny personal paranormal experiences that I am learning from. and yeah dude I just put everything on in privacy setting.

Well my eyes are getting too buurrry to see the screen,
 
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Mafioso

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That's awesome that you are able to take away positive things from this experience. I will send positive energy your way.
 

ShroomySatori

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In return, I shall send positive vibes your way bro. Thanks for keeping an eye on me. I know that you do, even if we don't talk much and I know you have been through a lot. This is a shit storm man, but I have no complaints.

I now have faith in God (or whatever name you want to call Divine Forces that control everything. My entire philosophy on life has changed. I definitely think there is some predestination involved, but what really matters is the character and quality of your thoughts and energy or frequency or vibration at the present moment. If you tune in, you will begin to sense spirits around you. They are not in material form usually, but lately my intuition has increased to an extent that they have. I can make a thought in my mind, an intention, clear my mind of it, walk out the door and make it a reality. I never knew such power existed, and it means that my spirituality is finally proceeding in due course.

I suffered so much, at the hands of evil people. People who do not speak the truth, or stand up to their word. I lost all my plugs for a while. By that I mean my doctor is even fucking me over. She pretty much added klonopin to the mix all year at a high dose and now I am stuck with that shit. To be fair, Painful One being intuitive as well, saw this in advance.

Memorable experiences from my near-death week-long (or two, or three? What month is it even, I seriously don't know the day half the time):
-I made it through, and bought myself more time. I learned a lot, like how to keep my mouth shut when I need to, and how to ration when I need to as well.
-My spirituality developed 10-fold.

I lost a lot of weight, about to eat my second dinner. I probably hurt my mind too in the sense that I have become aware of things that I didn't know existed before. I never thought I'd say the, but I am considering starting to go to church. There is simply no explanation how I have made it this far into an opiate/benzo severe addiction without ending up in the hospital or having a seizure or dying etc. I honestly owe it to the Saints, that is just my believe, and I am a man of science and logic. I can't deny what I observe.

I really was tortured. It wasn't fair. I had the money for the xanax. Everyone was in a stupid scare over nothing. It;'s so damn stupid, but at least I have them now. Please be careful with your security: especially as a woman always carry a flashlight at night, or something like that. There has to be an app for that or like an iPhone thing. You can never be too safe. I had no idea this was in store for me this week. I was supposed to apply for a job on the weekend, but ever since then my life has been a blur. I don't even know if I am intended to remember the messages that were being communicated to me, or if I should simply keep going full of courage, confidence, creativity, and initiative. It seems to be working well.

I'll pm you dude when I turn off the pm's I'm too stoned and in withdrawal (just because I have xan doesn't mean I use it foolishly), I have a strange pasta to have.


Eyes blurry, starting to lose my mind again. I will never stop fighing this monstrosity.rf
 

ShroomySatori

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I wrote that last night, and before clicking post, fell asleep.

I am doing much better. My Benzo dependency is finally beginning to show some signs of lower at least a little bit. It will take years.

It will be unfortunate if the doctors fuck me off again, I sense that they are going to. Then I would be left without a Benzo (fuck spell check that word deserves no capital) script and I need to be prepared for that. I need to be independent from these controlling entities that are supposed to be taking care of my health and are not only failing, but making things much worse for me. I feel that I am being abused at this point. I feel like a slave, that is what I have become to them. I am desperately trying to quit, but safely so. It's really easy. I just need triple the dose and begin tapering NOW instead of torturing me since fucking I don't even remember how long. This is basic stuff here folks, most of us here know more than them. To think. Their lives are based on taking care of people and they treat them like garbage, at least me and a lot of you people too by the sounds of it.

Fuck em all. I have a lawyer involved at this point I know there is no legal discussion allowed I am just pointing out that I have been utterly fucked with literally to the point of enslavement. There is no Suboxone or methadone it isn't a choice. I will be fine. I can take care of myself.

I went against one of the things in life I hold dearest to my heart. Never trust a doctor. Oh well. She wants to fuck me anyway. If she fucks me, I fuck her. haha. It's totally a catch-22 due to complete doctor negligence.

It is such a shame. I could be in the workplace doing just fine and tapering really comfortably if they actually cared or knew basic math. There is just no trust. I may have fucked myself by being honest so please I ask continue to send positive energy my way! I'm fighting for my life and I will damn well win and not only that, get all that I ever wanted or expected and more because nobody can fuck with a young disabled dude like this it's fucking criminal!
 
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