TDS The Suicide Support Thread

[Lusk79]

First "Worst day if the year" for me starts today, Thanksgiving. I've lost both of my parents to cancer. The holidays turn into helladays for me. I used to love this time of year but now I dread it. Good to know theres people to talk to when things turn to shit for me.

 

[Imfucked]

it seems like all i have left is drinking, even if it most of the time it just makes depressed and sick. but its really all i have left. drinking alone everyday is pretty depressing. . but iv'e isolated myself so much i have no friends left. most days i feel like giving up, but part of me knows if i really tried to cut the drinking back and get healthier i could be alot better. but i keep on drinking

I just started drinking bc the pain and fear I feel is unbearable. It helps a little, but doesn't make me want to live. It probably will help you to cut down, but who am I to say

 

[Painful One]

I feel you guys.

The holidays are not a good time for a lot of us.
You are not alone.
Just another day. We will make it through.
Hugs

 

[Lusk79]

I feel you guys. ❤

The holidays are not a good time for a lot of us.
You are not alone.
Just another day. We will make it through.
Hugs

I try to take it one day at a time. I know my parents wouldn't like to see me down like I get or to know the thoughts that crossed my mind sometimes.

 

[Mafioso]

I try to take it one day at a time. I know my parents wouldn't like to see me down like I get or to know the thoughts that crossed my mind sometimes.

I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you. Maybe one day you'll be able to celebrate the holidays in honor of their memory, but for now it's ok to be sad. I'm guessing this all happened recently?

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I am okay..... But I'm not gonna be ok. I am so hopeless..... I am paralyzed and being rettraumatized ..... It is flat out neglect from my si called supportiv/manipulative parents. I finally asked him what was wrong.... My parents hadn't talked to me in weeks. They have been "Sick". I have been alone since Thanksgiving. And I am now delivered into the hands of my narcissistic parents..
... They have sabotaged every thing and they have made me become so low and sad that no one wants me now. I'm losing faith. My knees are buckling.... I am so tired from the abuse..... And trying to figure out why they hate me.... The thought of going to sleep forever from opiates sounds pleasant...... I feel like I'm at the jaws of life and death...... Usually there is still a reason so keep on..... I an hopeless and more willing to let go. I dont wanna die I just want the abuse to end. I dont even want this family any more. I'm fucking stupid. I end up back in the cycle because I keep coming back with the hope that they will change. But the truth is that no one gives a soul giving fuck about me... And I will never be worthy enough to treat like a human being. I will always be less and nothing... They starve me of love and everything nice... And then I'm like this again and still I'm "feeling sorry for myself ". I'm not gonna suicide myself regardless of how much I desire it. My own death is the only thing that will make it up for my worthlessness and inferiority. I am a good dude. I'm just tired. Honestly I tell you. My heart is broken. I can literally feel it... My body and back always hurts........ Ima die from a broken heart....

 

[Zonxx]

I am okay..... But I'm not gonna be ok. I am so hopeless..... I am paralyzed and being rettraumatized ..... It is flat out neglect from my si called supportiv/manipulative parents. I finally asked him what was wrong.... My parents hadn't talked to me in weeks. They have been "Sick". I have been alone since Thanksgiving. And I am now delivered into the hands of my narcissistic parents..
... They have sabotaged every thing and they have made me become so low and sad that no one wants me now. I'm losing faith. My knees are buckling.... I am so tired from the abuse..... And trying to figure out why they hate me.... The thought of going to sleep forever from opiates sounds pleasant...... I feel like I'm at the jaws of life and death...... Usually there is still a reason so keep on..... I an hopeless and more willing to let go. I dont wanna die I just want the abuse to end. I dont even want this family any more. I'm fucking stupid. I end up back in the cycle because I keep coming back with the hope that they will change. But the truth is that no one gives a soul giving fuck about me... And I will never be worthy enough to treat like a human being. I will always be less and nothing... They starve me of love and everything nice... And then I'm like this again and still I'm "feeling sorry for myself ". I'm not gonna suicide myself regardless of how much I desire it. My own death is the only thing that will make it up for my worthlessness and inferiority. I am a good dude. I'm just tired. Honestly I tell you. My heart is broken. I can literally feel it... My body and back always hurts........ Ima die from a broken heart....

hey dude, i care, hang in there mmk? somehow some way the universe pays us what we're due

 

[jose ribas da silva]

I am okay..... But I'm not gonna be ok. I am so hopeless..... I am paralyzed and being rettraumatized ..... It is flat out neglect from my si called supportiv/manipulative parents. I finally asked him what was wrong.... My parents hadn't talked to me in weeks. They have been "Sick". I have been alone since Thanksgiving. And I am now delivered into the hands of my narcissistic parents..
... They have sabotaged every thing and they have made me become so low and sad that no one wants me now. I'm losing faith. My knees are buckling.... I am so tired from the abuse..... And trying to figure out why they hate me.... The thought of going to sleep forever from opiates sounds pleasant...... I feel like I'm at the jaws of life and death...... Usually there is still a reason so keep on..... I an hopeless and more willing to let go. I dont wanna die I just want the abuse to end. I dont even want this family any more. I'm fucking stupid. I end up back in the cycle because I keep coming back with the hope that they will change. But the truth is that no one gives a soul giving fuck about me... And I will never be worthy enough to treat like a human being. I will always be less and nothing... They starve me of love and everything nice... And then I'm like this again and still I'm "feeling sorry for myself ". I'm not gonna suicide myself regardless of how much I desire it. My own death is the only thing that will make it up for my worthlessness and inferiority. I am a good dude. I'm just tired. Honestly I tell you. My heart is broken. I can literally feel it... My body and back always hurts........ Ima die from a broken heart....

Hey, let me say something... it will be difficult to do so, but, believe me, it works out.

you need to learn that your life will be like that, that is, without the support of your parents... day after day, you must work to be independent, no longer dependent on their care.. you can stay depending on money whatever, but you no longer clings on the necessity of their care

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

hey dude, i care, hang in there mmk? somehow some way the universe pays us what we're due

Exactly so. My affairs are almost at an end..... I am simply temporary..... I had unfinished affairs..... But soon I will be able to lay my head down and to close my eyes and breath my last..... Ya know we all just know kinda when our time is near..... For myself I've already begun to let go... I've began to eat, sleep, and drink less.... I. Barely go to the restroom..... But I'm at peace.... I no longer engage.... I'm pathetic there is so much I wanna share with my family and such about my life..... But every one is being cruel and objective...... I'm only 23. But I'm worn out with Grief. And I was on borrowed time......

 

[Painful One]

Exactly so. My affairs are almost at an end..... I am simply temporary..... I had unfinished affairs..... But soon I will be able to lay my head down and to close my eyes and breath my last..... Ya know we all just know kinda when our time is near..... For myself I've already begun to let go... I've began to eat, sleep, and drink less.... I. Barely go to the restroom..... But I'm at peace.... I no longer engage.... I'm pathetic there is so much I wanna share with my family and such about my life..... But every one is being cruel and objective...... I'm only 23. But I'm worn out with Grief. And I was on borrowed time......

Hey,

I am here. Let’s talk.
Tell me what you are feeling.

Come on now, don’t give up.
You are a fighter. You made it so far!
Come on FIGHT!!!

Talk to me!
I care and love you. Many people do!

 

[Hylight]

it's alright. be there for someone. be there for your family. at least be there for us too. ♡♡◇♡

okay ! it's good ! this all has happened already. none of this matters. this is all just for us to stay strong and it will matter alot with your strength.

thank you for letting us into your heart and for letting us stay. you are great and thanks for sharing your feelings ! honest. just feel strong because eternity is forever. your great ! really you are !!

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

One sammich later.... And 7 hours of sleeps. Psychosis sucks.

 

[Imfucked]

Sometimes suicide is the only solution. Ask someone who is in pain and agony everyday with something incurable. Who are any of you to say they don't have the right to take their own life? Have you been in their shoes? Do you know their pain? No, you don't.

I'm sure there are situations where each iof you would commit suicide. What if you were locked in a mental ward for life getting shots of drugs to make you zombie like? What if you got in an accident and lost all your limbs and people only talked to you out of pity? Everyone has a breaking point

 

[Painful One]

uhhh.. yes I do.
I have been in chronic pain with severe migraines stuck in my house for ten years now.
I have wanted to kill myself many times.

I just found a doctor who can get me from disabled to fully functioning.
I was diagnosed with narcolepsy.
it is a long road to recovery but at least there is a road to recovery.

I was to the point of looking for assisted suicide.
so...don’t tell me I don’t know this pain. I do.
my name is Painful One for fuck sakes!

 

[Ds]

feel like complete shit.
its happening all over again, lost job, lost place to stay and now back on the streets again. over 1 dumb decision to get high again.
i don't want to say i had a good reason to because everyone has their good reasons, but one thing that led up to it is just me where i am at mentally and physically.
i had alot of positive things going on i thought, i was supporting myself meaning i wasnt mooching off of my family, working everyday, and just being myself.
over this holiday i decided since i havnt spoke with my family in years, and just got really deppresed i decided to take some kratom.
some may not see it like the way i see it but heres where it led, led me to getting pissed tested, and i tested positive for it.
now my place where i live is tied into my job, so everyone knows. now i have nothing, the only thing i have is like alot of cloths and bags of shit, and here i go at it again.
on the streets. i am really afraid because i do not think i will make it around this time. i know there will be someone that will have something to help 'cheer me up', and
knowing me, i will more than likely do it. (i havnt done any heroin or opiates in almost 4 years).
i kind of half ass have a plan, i guess its back to sleeping in a tent drinking myself to death. i don't want it to end like this.

 

[Painful One]

feel like complete shit.
its happening all over again, lost job, lost place to stay and now back on the streets again. over 1 dumb decision to get high again.
i don't want to say i had a good reason to because everyone has their good reasons, but one thing that led up to it is just me where i am at mentally and physically.
i had alot of positive things going on i thought, i was supporting myself meaning i wasnt mooching off of my family, working everyday, and just being myself.
over this holiday i decided since i havnt spoke with my family in years, and just got really deppresed i decided to take some kratom.
some may not see it like the way i see it but heres where it led, led me to getting pissed tested, and i tested positive for it.
now my place where i live is tied into my job, so everyone knows. now i have nothing, the only thing i have is like alot of cloths and bags of shit, and here i go at it again.
on the streets. i am really afraid because i do not think i will make it around this time. i know there will be someone that will have something to help 'cheer me up', and
knowing me, i will more than likely do it. (i havnt done any heroin or opiates in almost 4 years).
i kind of half ass have a plan, i guess its back to sleeping in a tent drinking myself to death. i don't want it to end like this.

aww. This is terrible. Over some Kratom. How dumb. I mean, you are not dumb but it is just dumb that you would loose your job and place to live over that. I think this world is a little too uptight about certain things.

I am so sad to hear you are on the streets. That just makes me cry.

Please don't give up. Keep trying. It sounds like you came far.
Know that you are loved. More than you may know.
I am sending prayers out for you.
God bless you.

 

[Ds]

aww. This is terrible. Over some Kratom. How dumb. I mean, you are not dumb but it is just dumb that you would loose your job and place to live over that. I think this world is a little too uptight about certain things.

I am so sad to hear you are on the streets. That just makes me cry.

Please don't give up. Keep trying. It sounds like you came far.
Know that you are loved. More than you may know.
I am sending prayers out for you.
God bless you.

View attachment 19805

thank you for your encouraging words, it really means alot. I am kinda packing things i need and throwing the rest away. just really sucks
I have a somewhat of a plan, if worse comes to worse i will contact a buddy of mine, and see if he has any idea where i might be able to stay.
just need to get ready for the enividable. meaning getting what i can.

i just hope that it wont lead me to do anything rash, i am not really good with the 'fuck its' because when i am in that type of mood then bad things will happen.

 

[Painful One]

 

[Painful One]

Hang in there.

I am having hard times too.

We will get through them together and we will get by with a little help from our friends.

DO NOT loose hope.

Hang tough. This too shall pass.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Oh no, @D's I'm sorry! It's been quite a while since I've seen you here. Do you have a car? One of my friends still chooses to live in his car even though he has money and works.

At least make sure you call that buddy and ask for a place to stay. Don't give up just yet. Exhaust every option. You can get back on your feet! You've done it before so you know you're capable.

I just read kratom is not supposed to show up on a drug test, unless they are specifically looking for it and that's rare.

"Again, the only thing that can conclusively show Kratom consumption is a test developed to specifically find Mitragynine particles and its metabolites in urine and it is incredibly rare to encounter such test. The main reason why Kratom drug test isn’t relevant for the majority of users is that the use of this natural herbal medicine is completely legal in nearly every country. Only Burma, Malaysia, Thailand and Australia have banned Kratom use outright."

Anyway, I'm sorry that happened.