I think sex workers perform an important service and should be treated with respect like any other worker. A lot of the problems in the industry would be alleviated by decriminalization of sex work and applying basic harm reduction ideals. Sex might not be a necessity in the same sense as food or water, but it is for many people a deep animal desire that goes beyond being simply a 'want'. Sex can be incredibly cathartic and mentally cleansing, and it serves a very important function in human psychology, beyond just procreation.
There are absolutely John's that are scumbags. And I think those that abuse sex workers should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. But this can't happen with the climate of prohibition, so a lot of the pitfalls and negative things about sex work are allowed to grow and get worse.
Personally, I'm at a point in my life where I can't imagine having any real affection or love for anyone. And believe me, I've tried. But you can't force yourself to love or care about someone. At the same time, I still have my needs for some form of intimacy and sex. It certainly shouldn't be a crime when I pay someone to help me fulfill those needs... given there is full consent and the person isn't being pressured by someone else to perform those services.
Exactly, though I'd discourage people from doing it even for personal reasons, maybe its just not for me but mixing sex and money is weird and awkward, and personally the sex I enjoy is more playful and not something you can pay for as it requires an emotional bond.
That said, even in countries where its legal but not regulated, in the few times I've ever done this, I've met women who when asked did say they felt uncomfortable with it, had to do it to survive, or one woman who told my estranged wife and I that her husband would take her kid away if she stopped, we wound up trying to call the cops, but apparently there was nothing illegal about the situation there, and also according to my partner she had been threatened by the cops, but I think she went into a psychosis because shortly after that she was freaking out about taxi driver, hospital workers, etc all being "in the cartel" and screaming in the street, she calmed down shortly after taking antipsychotic injection, and we had been doing a shitton of cocaine.
Thus, whenever I've done this I've been careful to more check in on their situation, and more than a couple times never even had sex with them. (But obviously still paid them for their time, and many were happy for the chance to get paid just to talk)
I don't think you can really have "enthusiastic" consent from a sex worker and im disgusted and ashamed in myself for even participating in such a thing in the careful way that I did, where I was sure everyone was consenting.. moreso because I feel sex is sacred and I swapped with a lot of weird energy, I can almost feel it in my body (hopefully thats psychosomatic and not hiv onset), and its led me to avoiding sexuality at all or even porn.
The only times I've ever been so sexualized to even consider something like that has been when twacked out of my mind on stimulants. Even in a long dry spell, I can go without sex for extended periods of time without much of an issue.
Anyway, I'm sure in say, some places in Europe its legal AND well regulated, so that would be a lot safer.
Also 60% of *my* sex drive is the pleasure of the other person and that also doesn't fit into the paradigm of sex work.
Its all a result of capitalism, which is why it sickens me so much.
