Proceed very cautiously with meth is all I can say.
Thank you Atelier, I do intend to proceed with caution. I've already experienced at least some of the hell of addiction with weed and so have some experience with this complex thing called addiction, and with getting better control of the thing through time, but with weed I find it powerfully addictive and sort of doubt I'll ever be able to use it responsibly as in like once a week or less, so maybe I'll just be off and on with it my whole life, the negatives do become more tolerable each time I come back after abstinence it seems. Stuff destroys my ability to get quality sleep though, I wake up feeling like I didn't sleep and had instead stayed up the whole night because I drank too much caffeine. I'm sure you may know weed is well known to interfere with REM sleep and perhaps other sleep states so it's a real thing that you won't sleep well (or as well) if you smoke weed regularly.
I realize how with addiction it just creeps up on you and your mind becomes overtaken, I think really you are not in control, your mind controls your body and displaces your body towards the drug and causes your body to ingest the substance regardless of any chatter or thoughts internally you are having despite the damage it has caused and continues to cause.
Like I never used to be paranoid socially, I even recall sitting in class in high school recalling reading that cannabis can make you paranoid and just like blindly and stupidly assuming this wouldn't happen to me. Well, becoming a cannabis addict made me into a pathetic paranoid who walks around feeling he's being judged all the time. Yet despite this terrible feeling and weakness that weed has caused I still find myself back on it, off and on. You know of course there were underlying issues, but still seems the pot made them worse and I just would have been so much better off waiting till I was like 18 and taking psychedelics (or maybe 16 idk exactly, this is too ideal anyways). Yet still, for anyone new to psychedelics, please be careful and practice harm reduction. Addiction to psychedelics is so unlikely and not likely at all to pose a threat from psychedelics and they are actually in my experience somewhat the opposite, like you'll sit there for 2 hours thinking if you should trip and then put away the goods deciding with intuition perhaps that the day was simply not right.
And I started smoking weed again after maybe 8 months of only coffee and kratom, I blame this on my lack of access of a steady supply of psychedelics because I seem to find myself in this place when it happens and don't really crave weed or even use it at all if I have say a stash of mushrooms but, I started smoking again like maybe 10 weeks ago and have been off and on for maybe ten years since I first started when I was 16, smoking for prolonged periods and then quitting, 3.5 years as my longest streak off. It was honestly sadly probably a better tradeoff to start smoking pot again despite the negatives it causes me than the daily depression I was experiencing. However, I realize if I don't cut back drastically soon that I'm really gonna fry myself and it takes me like a solid 2-3 months of abstinence from weed to have proper motivation, clarity, energy to make myself useful. So I find the potential negatives of cannabis consumption being thinking the world hates you and that you need to get along with everyone. I started to realize this after reading an interview from the magazine VICE with Terrence Mckenna's son Finn Mckenna summarized, and helped me realize the psychological pitfalls of chronic cannabis consumption through this his words " "Can't we all just get along?" No, we can't."
I did also say I was going to try heroin other threads a couple days ago. Everyone says not to touch it I should probably just listen I don't understand the allure I have, besides the prospect of numbing myself and feeling content and I guess apathetic? But, I know this doesn't last, maybe I'm just thinking when I get down so low from an addiction to h I could just shoot myself up with enough to end the misery? Probably so many others thought they would do the same and just realized all the opportunities they laid to waste, their opportunities to lead a better life. Sorry, life has been kinda low, no direction really although probably I do just belong in school and should just stay there and probably shouldn't have set myself back by taking the last 2 semester off and now this summer semester.
I guess this just paints that I'm a bit reckless now, probably need to take more LSD (serious) and inspire myself deeply and start writing some new music.
I will not hesitate to reach out for help from you, Atelier or bluelight in general if I start to feel myself slipping and also for general harm reduction etc and I appreciate all the support you have given thus far.
But since we are on this topic, is shooting simply to be avoided if one wishes to avoid or minimize addiction? The meth very strangely took away a lot or most of my squeamishness towards needles and I suddenly started imaging what it might be like...Hopefully that isn't an indication I'm already too far gone here.
Edit: I am also seeing huge potential I think for oral therapuetic use (assuming I don't spiral into hell), I mean it's like taking the negatives of cannabis use and washing them away or like simpy giving the opposite effects, so then what underlying problems it is getting at in the first place I have no idea, but the question then is if meth were taken 2-3 times weekly, orally for a couple months and then you take say couple months abstinence maybe (3 monthes then or something who knows), or very sparse use, would there be any lasting positives? I mean do most people with stim prescriptions use daily, I thought so? I just think daily drug use is generally, not good, even with something light like coffee. Or maybe I should just ask how do you best use the stuff as a medicine and make the results stick?
I wished I could have shortened that up more I tried my best, hopefully its not too long and provides some use and doesn't take away from the thread.
EDIT: Wow how generic. I take meth my first time and write my longest post here so far on bluelight?
