Speedball Addiction - When Will It End?!

[Jodorowsky71]

Hi all. I'm a regular visitor and reader of the forum, however have only posted a handful of times. The thread I'm currently writing is one of anxiety and my end of the road.

I've used heroin (+ other opiates) for 5yrs now, developing, of course, a heavy addiction in that time. Along the way, I also picked up a reliance for crack cocaine. The former started out with just smoking (I'm a UK user, so was No.3), however turned into injection about 3yrs into the habit. Most worryingly to me, is that I'm still injecting crack along with it; I'm deep into a speedball habit. I'm not at all bothered or hooked by smoking crack cocaine, but rather only IV.

For about a year n a bit now, my opiate habit has been stabilized by a weekly prescription of Subutex, which works wonders in the event of not obtaining any heroin. In fact, in the above five year addiction period, I did actually stop using for about a year, thanks to the Subbies. I stopped both the H and the cocaine. A one-off unfortunate event, led me into using again, and since then have found it SO DIFFICULT to stop again.

The worry is, is I don't think stopping the opiates is too much of a problem, but rather its mix with crack as an IV'd speedball is what has me in its grip. It's dominating my life and I want to shake it off so much now. Before the pandemic, I was due to finally start some in-clinic therapy, however the global shit-show of COVID put a stop to all that.

I'm not sure what replies I'm seeking here; I guess any hopeful accounts of folk who've lived with a raging crack habit (IV more so) and managed to overcome it, along with how difficult it actually ended up being. I feel like I'm never going to shake it, no matter how much I want to! It's pathetic

 

[nznity]

Oh Man, what can i say. Speedball is the most euphoric Rush u can feel from drugs. There's nothing like it, feels like winning the lottery. Prolly even better buttt.....it's the worst thing ya can do to ur body. It's so detrimental for Ur heart, kidneys AND Ur vascular system overall. Ur killing urself slowly Man, i kno how u feel. 5 years ago i was in the same spot as you, banging pure morphine AND high quality cocaine powder like theere was no Tomorrow. I serioysly was gonna die if my family didint intervene AND send me to rehab involuntarily (they lit kidnappd me but i had dropped 40 pounds AND had so Many fukng trackmarks at the young age of 19) i wanted to die deep down, i didn't care about shit. I stayed 9 months in rehab, relapsed on morphine after 3 days out of rehab. I promised myself i wouldnt bang anymore cocaine because it was so damaging to my body until one day i came across some blow.... That was 3 months after leavimg rehab. I was like fuck it just one More Time... AND that one More Time turned into Weekends, ever y 3 days AND tjen i was full blown addixted again. 6 months after rehab o was doing speed balls for breakfast again....so i woke up one day with a slap AND saw a Brother from the rehab Center, i was like for fucks sake not again.... 9 months again in that shitjole. Got out AND i was still mentally Hooked on morphine but fucking cocaine was still hiding deep inside my addixted to the core brain...
This Time i tried to control it(hahaha yeah control it) doing it here AND there until i Started getting psychosis everytime i shot coke. One day i tried to kill myself, had a psychotic induced episode after doing a 0.25g cola shot AND had a maddd 4 min seizure. I jumped out of a 2 Story window.Almost killed myself, collapsed a lung, had an internal bleedikg AND had to pass through the operation room or i was gonna die. Spent 15 days at the hospital AND thought i was going back home after that WRONG. They transfered me to a psych ward 45 days with crazy as fk Ppl. They were giving me zyprexa AND carbamazepine. Lost the love of my lielfe, a good job, my family s confidence,my friends thought i was crazy, etc. Since then I've shot up coke a few times but eventually stopped. Haven't shot coke since december when i had another seizure. That was rock Bottom for me. My family gave me an ultimátum, they hsve spent so much money trying to rehabilitate me tjst they didn't even hsve money or the desire to send me to rehab. They just straight up told me either u stop hsrming urself with that Poison or Ur out of the house. If u Wanna kill urself, do it but do it somewhere else. I haven't shot coke ever since but i took up the Pipe... But thsts another story.man plssss iknow that shit feels good as fuck but really u gotta stop, Ur literally putting acid through Ur veins.what worries me even More Is tjst that Ur shooting crack AND not puré powder, that's even worse. Ur gonna blow out all of Ur veins if u hscent already AND Ur shooting on Ur hands feet, neck or groin.... There's something bothering you Man, you Needa find the reason y Ur doing this to urself. Drugs arent the problem, it's the Solution. U have to confront urself AND do what u gotta do. Ur body Is a temple Man, u have to take care of it. Ur not just harming urself like fk, Ur hurting Ur loved ones so bad. Please ID recommend u to go to rehab, speed bsll addiction is at the top of the pyrsmid when it comes to drrug addiction. Love yourself Man, learn to love you. You Needa stop Asap because that shit Is Ginna kill u eventually. I'm actually Alive idk how, it's a miracle or idk, maybe it's not my Time Yet. But the damage Is already done, my relationship with my family isn't the same anymore, my brothr doesn't talk to me, my neighbourd are scared of me, Ppl think ima. Junkie scumbag but idc man.its Taken me so long but I'm learning to love myself. I take care of my body now. U Needa drop the needles. Srsly Man consider going to be rehab, if u can't cover the expenses for one, go to NA oe something but ur life Is at risk atm. U shud be concerned, i can just tell you that if u dont stop soon Ur gonna be found un a batjroom stall one of these days with the rig still on. U can do it Man,if i was able to quit that Poison u can too. Good luck AND i send u a big hug Bro.
Sincerely, Nico(NZN)

 

[nznity]

Hi all. I'm a regular visitor and reader of the forum, however have only posted a handful of times. The thread I'm currently writing is one of anxiety and my end of the road.

I've used heroin (+ other opiates) for 5yrs now, developing, of course, a heavy addiction in that time. Along the way, I also picked up a reliance for crack cocaine. The former started out with just smoking (I'm a UK user, so was No.3), however turned into injection about 3yrs into the habit. Most worryingly to me, is that I'm still injecting crack along with it; I'm deep into a speedball habit. I'm not at all bothered or hooked by smoking crack cocaine, but rather only IV.

For about a year n a bit now, my opiate habit has been stabilized by a weekly prescription of Subutex, which works wonders in the event of not obtaining any heroin. In fact, in the above five year addiction period, I did actually stop using for about a year, thanks to the Subbies. I stopped both the H and the cocaine. A one-off unfortunate event, led me into using again, and since then have found it SO DIFFICULT to stop again.

The worry is, is I don't think stopping the opiates is too much of a problem, but rather its mix with crack as an IV'd speedball is what has me in its grip. It's dominating my life and I want to shake it off so much now. Before the pandemic, I was due to finally start some in-clinic therapy, however the global shit-show of COVID put a stop to all that.

I'm not sure what replies I'm seeking here; I guess any hopeful accounts of folk who've lived with a raging crack habit (IV more so) and managed to overcome it, along with how difficult it actually ended up being. I feel like I'm never going to shake it, no matter how much I want to! It's pathetic

I thought i was nevr Ginna able to stop that shit, i loved it to the core aswell like you, the taste in the back of the throat AND all that shit. But it's not worth it Man. Ur life Is worth so much More than a 2min bellringer AND a 20 min high. I send u another hug brother AND seek help plzzzz. If i was able to srop, you can do it too.

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Speedballing is my drug of choice. I remember thinking heroin by itself was the ultimate high...

I spent years in rehabs, jails, therapy.... I wasn't able to get sober however I was able to stop speedballing.

It's just way too good to be true... literally and we both know it will kill you.

To be honest I kept thinking about Layne Staley. He's one of my favorite rock singers, and died from a speedball.

Have you been to rehab yet? Therapy? That's what helped me, or at least helped me control my drug use.

Still never got sober - but at least I'm still alive. While I have overdosed a few times since rehab... I'm 100% sure I'd already be dead if I continued speedballing.

You are playing a dangerous game of digging to rock bottom while any moment a spark from your shovel could cause a gas explosion... if you get my metaphor.

No judgement from me brother, I know how amazing it is. But you need to stop. We both know it.

I would suggest starting by not using them at the same time. Do the coke/crack first then the H, or vice versa.

 

[deficiT]

Hi all. I'm a regular visitor and reader of the forum, however have only posted a handful of times. The thread I'm currently writing is one of anxiety and my end of the road.

I've used heroin (+ other opiates) for 5yrs now, developing, of course, a heavy addiction in that time. Along the way, I also picked up a reliance for crack cocaine. The former started out with just smoking (I'm a UK user, so was No.3), however turned into injection about 3yrs into the habit. Most worryingly to me, is that I'm still injecting crack along with it; I'm deep into a speedball habit. I'm not at all bothered or hooked by smoking crack cocaine, but rather only IV.

For about a year n a bit now, my opiate habit has been stabilized by a weekly prescription of Subutex, which works wonders in the event of not obtaining any heroin. In fact, in the above five year addiction period, I did actually stop using for about a year, thanks to the Subbies. I stopped both the H and the cocaine. A one-off unfortunate event, led me into using again, and since then have found it SO DIFFICULT to stop again.

The worry is, is I don't think stopping the opiates is too much of a problem, but rather its mix with crack as an IV'd speedball is what has me in its grip. It's dominating my life and I want to shake it off so much now. Before the pandemic, I was due to finally start some in-clinic therapy, however the global shit-show of COVID put a stop to all that.

I'm not sure what replies I'm seeking here; I guess any hopeful accounts of folk who've lived with a raging crack habit (IV more so) and managed to overcome it, along with how difficult it actually ended up being. I feel like I'm never going to shake it, no matter how much I want to! It's pathetic

Hey buddy, I too was at one point a little too fond of speedballs and uppers/downer combos whatever it was. Imo dude in the interest of harm reduction you gotta just put the needle down. That would be a start. Whether youre doing drugs or not. slamming them is the most dangerous/destructive ROA and it will take you out if you're not very careful. And if you're slamming any kind of stimulant, my best guess is, you're not being super careful lol.

I don't mean to preach though. Suboxone has really helped me get off opiates. It kinda sucks they don't have anything as a "replacement" for coke/amps, aside from maybe Naltrexone some people take. For me, what has worked best to get my brain back into normal functioning from long term stimulant abuse, was taking Escitalopram (Serotonin reuptake inhibitor) and Bupropion (norepinephrine and dopamine reuptake inhibitor). Which, in my case, seems to be the best combo to get away from bad stimulant use as it basically works along the same pathways as coke or amphetamine.

Plus all the typical eat right, exercise, mediation, etc. etc. that stuff really does help. There are many supplements you can take as well that are important for dopamine production such as L-tyrosine and L-Phenylalynine.

 

[hideout]

is this thread still updated?

cause i have exactly the same problem i cant work without getting a speedball in the morning... its really bad slowly ... cause i have been in substitution since 2013 and it really started when i found the groin and i have very good veins there and always hit without shooting a second time! Anyway, I've been speedball dependent since 2018

you got on a better way sir @Jodorowsky71 and where u from is it hard to get h and k. fastly?

cheers from berlin