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Heroin Snorted 5mg Morphine.

I think I found a really good source for morphine pills. I just don't have the money right now. And maybe I can't trust myself with a big bottle of them, but I'm desperate at this point. Tired of mental pain.
 
Yes that can happen. It seems like you're more looking for a 'high' rather than actual pain relief, but hey it's the same at the end of the day. Some people will expect a big effect but that's not how opiates are (if not IV'd or smoked in some cases). At low doses they are subtle, and you are expecting it to slap you in the face. Once you get accustomed to the feeling, you will notice the subtle effects. But before that, you don't know what to look for, hence your current situation. I was the same way when I started, I NEEDED to snort 40mg of oxy to feel anything.

And C2C, just start drinking or smoke weed every day if you're that desperate. After a week you'll get tired of it and stop. Using opiates though... you'll never get tired of them until your life is totally fucked.
 
I've been drinking heavily these past few works and I worry about how it will effect my health. Weed is a definite no-no for me. Shit makes me paranoid and is prone to put me in a state of psychosis. It makes me too self-reflective and I just think of EVERYTHING I hate about myself the entire time making me more suicidal than usual.
 
By reading comments I am glad I have only a pain in my left ball that do no leave, because I never get addict to anything other than life's fractal that we can observe only when physically unconscious, by that I mean having psychedelic experiances. I know I will never stop using psychedelics of my life, now that I found it I do not leave it. Well Its a wiered addiction since I do not have cravings, I just know I will never stop, it is too enlightening. But Its better to be addict to psychedelics once a year than H every 2 hours.

About my pain, only cannabis and Lyrica helped, so I think my analgesia is Ca++ related since they both block some of their cannals. Thing is not alot of meds are Ca++ related so, Im stuck with Mixing Illegal and legal. which is wierd.
I also used RC like Miprocin or Acetylpsilocin or Methocin etc. Those were the best, I am sad that now they ask for a proof of scientific background. Can't have anymore. :( So I am looking for shrooms at the moment. It's been like 4 months since my last trip which was 4-AcO-DET like 70mg. ended the bag with acid water that I drank after 5-10 mins to let it dissolve. It was a good trip ! I hope to get something out of 4g of shrooms when I find some.
 
you only really have to take psychedelics once in order to feel "enlightened" imo.

if you only do them once a year then thats one thing but it sounds like you would do them more often if you had the proper availability

and do you mean left testicle when you say "ball"? or is my mind just in the gutter
 
Enlightment is not something we gain, its something we have that we increase so theres no roof.But enlightment is only one of the MANY things those drugs can do. They are essentially rewireing the brain, but I found it to be controled by the conscious mind, so basically if you know what you want and how to get it you will be able to to more than normal to achieve a state of mind that can stay for long. Until kicked off by normal life once you are back in the world sober, because if they are healers than some parts of life are killers.

I find it also alot of fun to use them, so I think the frequency is more adapted to what I want than what I need, but ultimately I can use them once a year without really thinking about it. But when I have problems or pain I do. I also use them more frequently when I have a batch at home and an empty schedule.

Pain, left epididymis to be more precise. Seems like a case of the untreatable Chronic epididymitis, yay not even 19 yet and I have chronic pain in my freaking epididymis. Plus my last doc tried his hardest to make me believe that it is a psychologically sourced pain, but I have gotten through 4 professionals that say I do not have problems with dealing with life's normal problems so no psychological reason for pain (I think that the doc tried to protect himself from the fact that he found no reason for my pain). So after 2 years of hesitation I now know it's still there and not event related.

Can you believe that I edure this without any fucking pain killers because after the doc sent me to psych side of medicine. So what I get from them is 1-2 trials of antidepressant for every new psychiatrist because none of them believe me when I tell them I react badly to them and them nothing because thats all they want to give. Now I have benzo for insomnia, lyrica for the day (worthless unless I space the doses and increase it) and weed which because of my 1st psychiatrist caused me to lose the ability to gain my driving licenses (HE FUCKING TOLD THEM THAT I TOKED, I would not vape and drive but still I get nothing).

I guess the only thing making me keep going is cannabis but now my wallet is getting thinner and thinner, and my tolerance is increasing non stop. So i know one day I will lose this tool. That day will be the worst of my life. I know it's coming but there is nothing I can do about it. (some will say earn more money but school is my priority)
 
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