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Stimulants Self Medicating ADHD With Meth

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
4,062
As it would turn out I got a bad batch laced with N-ISO. I'm done with street drugs! that was scary! I was delusional!!!

Checking myself into rehab tomorrow, that was one of the scariest experiences I've ever had in my life! I was loosing it, absolutely loosing it...
Sorry to hear of your misfortune and glad to hear you have resources to help you get through it. I was re-reading your original 2018 posts at the beginning of the this thread and it seems like your early experiences with meth were pretty awful as well. It’s such a deceptive drug even when you are not over-amped or strung-out. The joy never lasts no matter what dose you are on. I’m trying to kick smoking it starting Jan 1. I can’t go to rehab unfortunately. But good luck as let us know you are feeling at the end of your rehab and how it went.
 

denovo

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Messages
18
Sorry to hear of your misfortune and glad to hear you have resources to help you get through it. I was re-reading your original 2018 posts at the beginning of the this thread and it seems like your early experiences with meth were pretty awful as well. It’s such a deceptive drug even when you are not over-amped or strung-out. The joy never lasts no matter what dose you are on. I’m trying to kick smoking it starting Jan 1. I can’t go to rehab unfortunately. But good luck as let us know you are feeling at the end of your rehab and how it went.

That is the absolute truth. It is not sustainable. It essentially allows the user to live a different life, in a different mindset for a short time. The real cost of meth is not currency, it is who you were before. The cost is the self. Meth is dangerous because it fills, but never satisfies a real need within the user. Thus is all addiction. It appears to you as an angel of light, when it is really the devil.

I am with you. Smoking has always been my main ROA. I’ve been on a streak that has lasted over a month and a half of continual use. I am ready to come back to me, to take what I have learned from this experience and make who I am outside of it stronger.
I wish you well.
 

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
4,062
That is the absolute truth. It is not sustainable. It essentially allows the user to live a different life, in a different mindset for a short time. The real cost of meth is not currency, it is who you were before. The cost is the self. Meth is dangerous because it fills, but never satisfies a real need within the user. Thus is all addiction. It appears to you as an angel of light, when it is really the devil.

I am with you. Smoking has always been my main ROA. I’ve been on a streak that has lasted over a month and a half of continual use. I am ready to come back to me, to take what I have learned from this experience and make who I am outside of it stronger.
I wish you well.
In my experience, going through a serious addiction and then getting properly well is character building and can make people better than they were before. So it’s possible even something as horrible as losing months to meth has an upside in the long run if you escape it. Good luck.
 

denovo

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Messages
18
In my experience, going through a serious addiction and then getting properly well is character building and can make people better than they were before. So it’s possible even something as horrible as losing months to meth has an upside in the long run if you escape it. Good luck.
This is the truth. I would not be who I am today had I not had this addiction. It has taught me how to be resilient, it has made me to be strong. It was hard to understand, but now I know that it was necessary for me to be where I am and for me to be who I am.
 

tweakerguy

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
941
Location
southwest USA
That is the absolute truth. It is not sustainable. It essentially allows the user to live a different life, in a different mindset for a short time. The real cost of meth is not currency, it is who you were before. The cost is the self. Meth is dangerous because it fills, but never satisfies a real need within the user. Thus is all addiction. It appears to you as an angel of light, when it is really the devil.

I am with you. Smoking has always been my main ROA. I’ve been on a streak that has lasted over a month and a half of continual use. I am ready to come back to me, to take what I have learned from this experience and make who I am outside of it stronger.
I wish you well.
Good points here. Years ago during one of my first stints of recovery, I became convinced the drug had brought about a change in my personality that i wouldn't have reached had i never tried it. Forcing me to sort of "grow up" in different ways.

However, in hindsight that may not have been anything beneficial to me now, almost 20 years later. What i mistook as positive changes in reality may have simply been an erosion of immature optimism that i had more of than was probably healthy for me. While it allowed me to approach and trudge through many of my immediate problems back then, those positives for 2003 would incubate and resurface as massive mid-life crisis type hurdles that i don't see myself ever overcoming. Plus, the trade off for "coming out better at the other end" is purely subjective to the point of almost not being worth the risks. Either way, you're ultimately condemned to a lifetime knowing that freewill says you can make yourself feel that way "whenever you want"*... But the asterisk that everyone misses points to a disclaimer in some very small print.
 

denovo

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Messages
18
Good points here. Years ago during one of my first stints of recovery, I became convinced the drug had brought about a change in my personality that i wouldn't have reached had i never tried it. Forcing me to sort of "grow up" in different ways.

However, in hindsight that may not have been anything beneficial to me now, almost 20 years later. What i mistook as positive changes in reality may have simply been an erosion of immature optimism that i had more of than was probably healthy for me. While it allowed me to approach and trudge through many of my immediate problems back then, those positives for 2003 would incubate and resurface as massive mid-life crisis type hurdles that i don't see myself ever overcoming. Plus, the trade off for "coming out better at the other end" is purely subjective to the point of almost not being worth the risks. Either way, you're ultimately condemned to a lifetime knowing that freewill says you can make yourself feel that way "whenever you want"*... But the asterisk that everyone misses points to a disclaimer in some very small print.
We cannot take back what we now know. That’s a two edged sword, good because we know the danger and we know the spiritual desolation that comes as a result of continuing to walk in the darkness, evil because our flesh remembers the pleasure and the drug gives us the illusion of being whole, without ever doing those things which actually cause us to be whole . I use to say that I wish I had just stuck with adderall and never known what CM felt like.
I believe in the Word of God and I have seen the manifestation of those Truths in my life, both good and evil. The Word says that “all things work for good for those who love God”. I walked before addiction and was led back through the Spirit during addiction. I was given the revelations and spiritual blessing I received in the beginning even though it was known what I would do. Life is not chaos, having studied and understood our design as defined by science, everything was made perfect and all things serve a purpose. The only variable is our free will.
What are we if we do not have hope? We must not let the nothingness destroy Fantasia. Our hearts were made to hope and our minds to manifest that hope in our reality.
 

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
4,062
Good points here. Years ago during one of my first stints of recovery, I became convinced the drug had brought about a change in my personality that i wouldn't have reached had i never tried it. Forcing me to sort of "grow up" in different ways.

However, in hindsight that may not have been anything beneficial to me now, almost 20 years later. What i mistook as positive changes in reality may have simply been an erosion of immature optimism that i had more of than was probably healthy for me. While it allowed me to approach and trudge through many of my immediate problems back then, those positives for 2003 would incubate and resurface as massive mid-life crisis type hurdles that i don't see myself ever overcoming. Plus, the trade off for "coming out better at the other end" is purely subjective to the point of almost not being worth the risks. Either way, you're ultimately condemned to a lifetime knowing that freewill says you can make yourself feel that way "whenever you want"*... But the asterisk that everyone misses points to a disclaimer in some very small print.
It’s true. The great majority of people mature naturally at an appropriate pace without the need for rock bottoms and lost years. I know a lot of shit that they don’t, but none of it is particularly useful in getting along as a functioning member of society. Drugs themselves never gave me any particular insights and my main learning from using them was about aspects of my personality and character that I’d rather not have. The only positive things I really got from surviving then was a possibly false sense of my own indestructibility and resilience.
 

titans7x

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 31, 2018
Messages
46
know a guy who does this, takes around 30-50mg orally on a daily basis and has been doing so for many many years and is very functional/not a tweaker. However just keep in mind methamphetamine is extremely neurotoxic and is going to have much worse longterm sife effects when used therapeutically than say dextroamphetamine, which we know to be safe to use for extended periods of time.

Wouldn't it be something if one of the worst drugs known to mankind actually turned out to be the future of mankind itself?

That would be something, wouldn't it? That would be wild....

The difference between a poison and a cure is the dose,

"The difference between a poison and a cure is the dose...."

 

titans7x

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 31, 2018
Messages
46
It’s true. The great majority of people mature naturally at an appropriate pace without the need for rock bottoms and lost years. I know a lot of shit that they don’t, but none of it is particularly useful in getting along as a functioning member of society. Drugs themselves never gave me any particular insights and my main learning from using them was about aspects of my personality and character that I’d rather not have. The only positive things I really got from surviving then was a possibly false sense of my own indestructibility and resilience.
Without Meth this email does not get sent, Nationwide policy does not get changed overnight, lives do not get saved. I can promise you that.

 
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titans7x

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 31, 2018
Messages
46
I have a Dr's appointment later on tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll get an answer as to what my CT Scans showed. I'll report back.
 
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denovo

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Messages
18
Yes, I have looked into the therapeutic benefits of M, and perhaps for people who have never abused it, it could be a tool. However, for myself, it’s just not something I can safely partake in. As far as neuroprotective-properties when administered post stroke..... it is novel, yes, but the risks far outweigh the benefit IMO&E.
And considering that the cut you received sent you into psychosis, I would hope that there is some part of you that has realized that this may not be what you need to do..
Here’s the thing: if you’re going to use CM; own it. Get high AF, jerk your meat til it’s puffy and red, clean the F out of your house, or just lay around bouncing from idea to idea in your head while picking your nose obsessively.

This is a harm reduction haven and information database... if you truly have a need; find a pcp who is willing to listen and find safer alternatives for you to be able to function how you think you ought to. Unless your CM comes in a white pill from a bottle labeled Desoxyn, any “therapeutic” use you may think you are achieving is an illusion. A lie straight from aunt Tina herself.
 

Gormur

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
2,806
Location
Pasadena
My sleep is better on meth but I have ADD. I use all my energy to focus and pay attention to stimuli which makes me tired. A friend of mine who also has ADD, has co-morbid narcolepsy and he introduced me to meth in 08'. My experience may be different because I take very good care of myself. I know meth is toxic and I can't imagine what I'd feel like if I didn't take supplements to combat that/cleanse my system everyday. If I felt like shit I wouldn't be able to function
 

titans7x

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 31, 2018
Messages
46
I think the key is being able to function with as little need of outside help as possible. It’s very easy to justify using something that makes everything better, it is harder to determine if we have a real need for it.
I’m currently dabbling with M as a therapeutic tool to help me mentally process, in a safe place, the current reality we live in. Previously I had only used it to amplify sexual pleasure, so this is a novel way to use for me.

I found this article which mentions specifics of therapeutic dosing.

“To avoid toxicity, current FDA guidelines consider acceptable dosing (for both adults and children) at 25 mg within a 24-hour period.”

The article primarily looks at M as a protective agent in patients post stroke. For those patients, they determined the therapeutic dose to be 17.9mg (total for 24hours) for a 70kg (150lb) person. I believe it is safe to assume that anything above these above mentioned levels would begin to cause neurotoxicity.

I acquired a scale that weighs in mg and veg capsules in order to weigh out an oral dose. The study puts oral bioavailability at 70%.

1.) https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pnpbp.2015.02.013

That study is a GOOD READ!

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pnpbp.2015.02.013

 

DeathIndustrial88

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Joined
Jan 23, 2020
Messages
287
Location
The Land Of Nod
I disagree with those who think all addiction is as dangerous or equivalent to a meth addiction.

I'm an opioid addict and have been for over 12 years. Opioids in fact tend to keep me sober and disinterested in any other drugs (besides maybe cannabis or the rare trip here or there). And with consistent access to an opioid, I can get on with my life daily & am still the same person I always have been (minus the natural ways we mature and change). I find that opioids (including heroin) while not without some side effects, actually help with my depression, mood control, insomnia and the general unwellness and feelings of aching in the body that come with severe depression. This allows me to be more productive than I would be completely sober or on another drug. Opioids generally do not cause brain & organ damage in the same degree that other drugs like alcohol or high dose stimulants would.

However with a meth addiction, in high doses, you are literally giving yourself brain damage. It causes loss of dopamine transporters. This will start to change a person at their core and change their personality. And even makes the potential for Parkinson's a real possibility And it's putting a lot of stress on your cardiovascular & central nervous systems, along with your organs. From my experience, meth will make people very hypersexual as well, which puts even more stress on the body in the end.

Low dose CLEAN meth absolutely does have therapeutic value though, as long as the person doesn't abuse it. Some one with a history of enjoying drug use regularly may find this pretty difficult to do though.
 
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tweakerguy

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Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
941
Location
southwest USA
I disagree with those who think all addiction is as dangerous or equivalent to a meth addiction.

I'm an opioid addict and have been for over 12 years. Opioids in fact tend to keep me sober and disinterested in any other drugs (besides maybe cannabis or the rare trip here or there). And with consistent access to an opioid, I can get on with my life daily & am still the same person I always have been (minus the natural ways we mature and change). I find that opioids (including heroin) while not without some side effects, actually help with my depression, mood control, insomnia and the general unwellness and feelings of aching in the body that come with severe depression. This allows me to be more productive than I would be completely sober or on another drug. Opioids generally do not cause brain & organ damage in the same degree that other drugs like alcohol or high dose stimulants would.

However with a meth addiction, in high doses, you are literally giving yourself brain damage. It causes loss of dopamine transporters. This will start to change a person at their core and change their personality. And even makes the potential for Parkinson's a real possibility And it's putting a lot of stress on your cardiovascular & central nervous systems, along with your organs. From my experience, meth will make people very hypersexual as well, which puts even more stress on the body in the end.

Low dose CLEAN meth absolutely does have therapeutic value though, as long as the person doesn't abuse it. Some one with a history of enjoying drug use regularly may find this pretty difficult to do though.
Every advantage you gave to your opioid use, mirrors my meth use. Particularly the disinterest of indulging in other substances.
So really its still very subjective.
I've not heard of a single heroin addict keeping their doses at levels considered therapeutic lol
 

DeathIndustrial88

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Joined
Jan 23, 2020
Messages
287
Location
The Land Of Nod
Every advantage you gave to your opioid use, mirrors my meth use. Particularly the disinterest of indulging in other substances.
So really its still very subjective.
I've not heard of a single heroin addict keeping their doses at levels considered therapeutic lol


Yes, much of drug use and drug liking is subjective. However, one can indulge in opiates their entire life without the same risks of parkinsons, psychosis or organ damage that they would with a life time of meth use.

I've always been pretty responsible with my dosage, however my heroin dealer went to prison for murder, so I've had to switch and stick with buprenorphine (which is shitty). Of course tolerance to opioids goes up. But it's no different than a chronic pain patient who needs higher dosages for better pain relief. But it's still therapeutic for them. Higher doses of opiates are not neurotoxic compared to meth either. And contrary to popular belief, it is not that easy to overdose on them if you have a tolerance and use reasonable doses and very limited doses of other CNS depressants if you absolutely need them.

Although I think when dealing with opioid use for a high/mental benefits, it's best for a person to do dosage reduction and raises, so that they have their tolerance hover around one area where the dose is not too high but it still retains it's positive benefits. This would require some discipline and some patience. Of course there will be addicts who just keep going & there'll even be stupid people who don't know any better and will mix it with too many of the wrong drugs.

In Switzerland, they have a diacetylmorphine maintenance program and they allow addicts to have up to 2 hits of heroin a day. And many get by on this. I don't think I could, because I would need atleast 3 a day I think. lol but it does show that it can be done and that heroin can be regulated and allowed for long term use without much danger to physical and mental health.

I did meth off and on for 15 years and had a love/hate relationship with it. It was a great drug to combat my loss of libido induced by constant opioid use. lol Great drug for fucking and partying. But it was also a very destructive drug for me. Turned me into some one else. Opioids would make me desperate in withdrawal, but I was still the same person while I was high on them (if not just more lovey-dovey and sleepy) where as on meth, after enough time up I would hear voices, was narcissistic and EXTREMELY horny all the time. lol My partner also use to use meth and I think he is permanently schizophrenic/different now because of it.

Everyone's different though and I believe everyone should have the right to live their lives the way they want to, so I'm not judging. Just giving my experience and the conclusions I've come to through research and reading about phamacology and drug toxicity.

In general, opioids are pretty benign on the body (minus the addiction part). Most people aren't aware of this though. Hell, even long term alcohol use is technically worse for you than long term use of SOME opiates (not all, some are pretty dangerous).
 
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