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⫸STICKY⫷ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

Cosmic Charlie

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Been throwing up blood the last couple of days and something is wrong. I'd drunk 48 oz's of Whiskey day before it started so obviously binge caused something to happen. But yeah I took full 8mgs Buprenorphine and smoked Weed havent puked since this morning but yesterday it was all day and night every twenty mins it was a fucking nightmare. Broke the screen on my phone and somehow managed not to loose my keys or Wallet. This is the first time I alcohol blackout this badly in awhile I still have like 16ozs left and I'm about your it down the drain. This is really out of hand and now all my loved ones are pissed and I'm vomiting blood, pretty sure that's when you gotta walk away. Maybe down the line I will introduce beer again but no time soon at all I have to let my body heal.
 

dreamflyer

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Been throwing up blood the last couple of days and something is wrong...
Oh man, I sincerely hope that you're okay and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I remember throwing up blood back in my 20's-30's when I would drink too much, especially on an empty stomach. It hasn't happened in a long time though. I'm still far from a poster boy for healthy living, but I do treat my body better than I did back then.

Peace, Love & Faith,
Dreamflyer
:sleep:
 

Cosmic Charlie

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I haven't vommited all day and I've been able to eat a small amount of food and drink a cup of black tea. My girl is really upset cuz that night I got lost when i was out that night and I had to keep calling for help. That's how you know when your fucked up you get lost in the area you lived your whole damn life. Ended up getting off wrong station and having to walk miles and miles and I twisted my ankle.

Im actually about to order 30lb kettlebell tommorow and start working out again. Just eat balanced died maybe get some protein powder or something. Gonna start eating more eggs and get some chicken and spinach. I have to order some more Black Seed Oil and some different medicinal mushrooms. This was a real wake-up call from a health standpoint and im going to get it together before it's too late. My esphogus is really soar but im in much better shape than yesterday. Thank you for your kind words.
 

TripSitterNZ

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Hope you recover soon charlie alcohol would fuck over me so bad after 30 its just multiple day hangovers. During my black out drinking the other month i was spewing so hard and endless it was just vile in the end but i had drunk so much coke and whiskey i was just spewing black.

Wish you the best hangovers like that level are nasty, But i aint going to lie i still fucking love alcohol but its never one drink aswell i wish its wasen't so damn toxic.
 

Xorkoth

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Charlie man, the alcohol is fucking your gut up. I know you have gut issues already and alcohol is really bad for your stomach/gut. Please take care of yourself. ♥

So I had the worst day. I buried my cat, my little girl. When my girl was visiting the cabin, the cat sitter said she found her outside, all dirty and wet. She had jumped off a low part of the roof, something she did a few days before that when my girl was there. When my girl got back, she said that my cat seemed sick, and/or her leg was hurt. I had a really bad feeling and asked if I should come home early, and if she thought she needed to go to the vet. She said she's just been sleeping a lot and only threw up once per day and she thought she saw her eat, and it was probably fine. I wanted to stick out the full 30 days so I stayed. I got back yesterday evening, and saw my cat, and immediately knew soimething was really wrong. She wouldn't move, she just purred when I pet her. Her purr and meow sounded really weird. And my girl was like, oh yeah, today she got worse and didn't eat. But she felt so bad (physically from her stomach issues) that she just ignored it. I called the vet and they said based on the symptoms, if they could get her in right then, they would, but they had an emergency and were totally full already.

So I called this morning... my cat was still alive, but was clearly even worse. I got in at 10am, and the vet was like... okay, so her temperature is too low to even read on a thermometer, and her heart rate is very low. Chances are there is nothing we can do. I had them draw blood to see if they could reverse poison or something, and said bye to her in case. Then I went to the store, because they said it would take 30 minutes. They called when I was on the way back and said that she was about to go. By the time I got there, she had died. She was still reflexively breathing and making a little meow noise, it was really weird and awful. I held her until she stopped moving. Then I took her home, and we sat with her, and had my other cat see, and then I found a spot in the yard she liked and dug a big hole. Then I held her stiff body and stared at her and cried a whole bunch and told her I was sorry I was gone for so long, and sorry I didn't follow my gut and come home. Maybe they could have done something before her kidneys failed. We wrapped her in a blanket, and I put one of my socks in there, she loved my socks. Then I buried her and put a stone on top. Then I had to work.

Now I am supposed to go to band practice. And my girl is devastated and feels like it's all her fault and that she failed me. And well... I am not going to tell her but it is a little. She was so preoccupied with her issues, she ignored her, because it was easier. So I just spent the last 30 minutes telling my girlfriend that I don't blame her even though I do, a little. But I don't want to. My cat was old, she was 16. She had a few health issues recently. It may have just been her time. I may have spent thousands of dollars to buy her 6 months, for all I know. My heart has a giant hole in it. It really hurts, a lot. I feel guilty that I had to be gone for the last month of her life. I know she missed me, my girlfriend was about sick of her because she's really needy with her food since my other cat can't eat her prescription food... I think the last month of her life was frustrating.

Rest in peace Magnolia, my baby girl. I will always love you, little princess. 💔
 

Cosmic Charlie

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Omg Xorky im so sorry to hear about your kitty that is the absolute worse thing ever. I love animals so much and become so bonded to them. Cat's are one of my favorite things in the world and I can relate to your pain I have lost a few of them throughout my life. And yeah man sometimes you spend thousands and it doesn't even keep them around and they it's just too late. That happened with our cat Wormy like two years ago now he died. Was such a sweet guy he got stomach cancer and we spent months going to vets but in the end he had to be put asleep it was so sad. Me and my girl were grieving for months during that period. Him and Magnolia are back at one with the universe, feel better man okay <3
 

JackARoe

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Jan 16, 2009
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Hang in there Xorkoth. That pain of a pet loss is one of the most aching pains. I am sure it was just her time. (The what if's will drive you nuts and are not valid) We ache because we Love. Feel it deep, but learn from it. I realized many years back when my brother died in a car accident that nothing is taken without some form of compensation. So I will tell you what I know and tell everyone. Keep your eyes and ears wide open, feel the pain it is through that pain we realize Love is eternal. Your girl (Magnolia) is here in a way and wants you to know that. And your other girl probably did what anyone would do if a pet is sick. Wait it out a bit. I know, the what if's are maddening. Try and put them out of you head. I bet Magnolia lived a full happy life and will give you some message to let you know that. Grieve, grieve grieve and then heal in peace. If we've learned anything from psychedelics it is there is way more the picture that meets the eye. But I wish we could take some of that grief for you. I don't like such pain for people. But I do know it helps us grow in ways we would not without the grief.

Charlie, alcohol kills everything it touches. In fact one of the industrial uses is to kill things it comes into contact with. I think you need to get some good routines in place and make then a habit. I can say this, your girl and her family get more distant and looking for other opportunites the more you stop taking care of yourself. It i almost like your girl can say why would I care about him if he doesn't? Caring for yourself is magnetic. That in and of itself will make things fall into place. I had a friend whose girlfriend left him, came back but he kept not taking care of himself and she finally found someone else that did. I warn you out of the same Love that the rest of the posters point you're way. Just want to see you better my brother.


edit: spelling not content
 
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TripSitterNZ

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Sorry to hear man. Losing a cat is so painful, Cry your heart out, Sending my prayers lost 4 pets over my life and every time i cried for weeks, Rest in the ocean of love and universal source consciousness brings solace to my heart knowing animals after their long life have moved into a peaceful realm.
 

Img_9999

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So sorry, Xorkoth. Must be hard. Cat's are such special, lovely creatures. Don't dwell on the 'what if's', that will only make it harder to digest. She was loved during her whole life, I'm sure. Don't beat yourself for a month of absence.
 

Xorkoth

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Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. Yesterday was awful, rough. I want to hang out and do band practice yesterday after work and that helped a lot. I think I spent half my waking hours crying yesterday. It feels better today. I miss her though.
 

dreamflyer

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Hey Xork, I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. My parents had to have my kitty Ralph put to sleep back in 1985 and I still can't look at a picture of him without getting choked up.

Much Love,
Dreamflyer
 

Pfafffed

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Damn, I'm really sorry to hear that, Xorkoth. I can't imagine how you're feeling. Big hugs
 

psy997

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I think I spent half my waking hours crying yesterday. It feels better today. I miss her though.
Xorkoth, if it helps at all, know that I am actually jealous of your crying half the day. As much as it may hurt, it is an incredibly beautiful occurrence to have emotion so explicitly present, and to be crying like a fountain.

I have had much more difficulty crying in the past year, and would love to have a good cry :/ Not to put that on you, but that's where I'm at.
 

Xorkoth

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Yeah, I was actually thinking that at the time, psy... how it hurt so much, but at the same time, it was beautiful to have loved so much. Also, I have a lot of trouble with grief in general, I tend to shut down and let it through in increments, and meanwhile it hurts me and fucks me up ho,ding it in... but I can't help it. Yesterday I grieved intensely for my baby girl, it was so painful. But I cried so much and today I already feel better. Nothing was held back. When my dad got sick and we faced his death for years, I cried a few times, but mostly felt really weird and bad that I couldn't. It was like the enormity of it was so much that my subconscious mind would not let me feel it except in small portions. Even at his wake I was mostly smiling, remembering the good times. Then at his funeral I cried so much, I sobbed. It felt cathartic though. I think in my dad's case I am still not all the way through it and I'm still subconsciously holding the full hurt at bay. I think it's part of my issues lately with drugs. I need to figure that out. But it was immediate and raw and gloriously painful and full-on with my cat yesterday. I think that was healthy.

She was an amazing kitty, so unique and wonderful. I will miss her, and I will always love her. I miss her already.
 

HeadphonesandLSD

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Oct 10, 2011
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Lately the idea of doing MDMA makes me want to puke. I smelled something the other day that reminded me of the smell from good MDMA and it turned my stomach. I've done it more in the last couple of years than I did in the 10 years before. Been on a long break lately but I wonder if that's a sign that I've been doing it to much. Anyone else have this happen? It's the same type of reaction I get from the smell of Rum. I once drank too much Rum and was never able to stomach it again.

Drugs like MDMA and LSD take such a toll on my body now that I don't enjoy doing them at all. As much as I love LSD it just ravages my body now. If I have a mild trip I'm doubled over in pain for days afterwards. It just makes everything hurt. I'm considering not using LSD anymore and switching to mushrooms for my purposes. Mushrooms don't give me the body pains and actually improve my pain for a few days after using them.

Excuse my rambling I've become a bit of a pot head in the last couple of months.
 
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The Axe

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May 30, 2019
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Dude, its the girlfriend's fault I've already been divorced twice (second one not actually filed yet) and I know what I'm talking about. No way, I wouldn't stand for it chief, no way.

Besides that my wife always complains there's money in the checking account, and I'm like, What?, that's your money!
 
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