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Opioids oxycodone w/ds suck ?

Sasha88

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 24, 2014
Messages
117
Hi all,
im on day 3 of oxycodone w/d. I ran out of my pills early as usual and don't have a connection to get more... so here I sit.... miserable. Depressed. I guess in some ways Im lucky kinda. I have clonazapam, and muscle relaxers and weed and a few embeda (man those suck but maybe they help w/d a little)..., and a few Kraton drinks. I just feel so down. So sad. My running out of my script is nothing new. I should be use to it. I know it's just the w/d... but still. I guess im not ready to break my dumb cycle yet. So i'll wait 1.5 weeks til I get my script again. I do enjoy the sobriety but I need several more days to get that feeling. I'm still in the thick of it. Anyway I just wanted to post... feel less lonely maybe.
thanks for reading
 
Kratom and embeda should be enough to relieve withdrawal symptoms. Embeda is morphine and naltrexone, with the latter being absorbed very poorly orally. Eating a few embeda and some kratom should have u feeling normal
 
I am really struggling with this too. It led to heroin several times, and going back to oxy was rough. In in severe withdrawal at the moment, another sleepless night. At least I have some speed to distract myself and maybe watch a movie, listen to music... I'm just waiting for my next fix. Percocet isn't good enough anymore. I can't feel the stuff if I take 3 of them and I don't want to mess with my liver.

I'm worried about going back to heroin and hitting the needle for once. It's gotten that bad after so many years, I am 28 now and my chronic pain began at 22... fresh out of university, ready to ruin my engineering career with a random fucking back injury.

I bet you don't know what to say to your doctor either... everything alright? There's way too much hysteria and stigma, your running out early has to be kept secret. Which is fucked in my opinion, they cut people off the meds without a second thought.

I see my doc for around 2 minutes every 3 months and this agony in my spine is ruining my life.

Never heard of embeda. I'm lucky enough (I guess) to have absurd amounts of benzos and took 6mg clonazepam earlier and 10mg xanax. I only really abuse those when I run out of painkillers or get low on them. I have muscle relaxers too but don't really use them anymore. I'm a trainwreck.
 
Hi Ontario Guy! Yeah it's helping a bit. I only have to 30mg embedas left. I'll prob take one tomorrow and save one. Taking two does nothing as far as feeling anything. Embeda is such a tease! These good drugs in there but you can't get at them! :)

thanks for writing. I appreciate it
 
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I am really struggling with this too. It led to heroin several times, and going back to oxy was rough. In in severe withdrawal at the moment, another sleepless night. At least I have some speed to distract myself and maybe watch a movie, listen to music... I'm just waiting for my next fix. Percocet isn't good enough anymore. I can't feel the stuff if I take 3 of them and I don't want to mess with my liver.

I'm worried about going back to heroin and hitting the needle for once. It's gotten that bad after so many years, I am 28 now and my chronic pain began at 22... fresh out of university, ready to ruin my engineering career with a random fucking back injury.

I bet you don't know what to say to your doctor either... everything alright? There's way too much hysteria and stigma, your running out early has to be kept secret. Which is fucked in my opinion, they cut people off the meds without a second thought.

I see my doc for around 2 minutes every 3 months and this agony in my spine is ruining my life.

Never heard of embeda. I'm lucky enough (I guess) to have absurd amounts of benzos and took 6mg clonazepam earlier and 10mg xanax. I only really abuse those when I run out of painkillers or get low on them. I have muscle relaxers too but don't really use them anymore. I'm a trainwreck.

hi there Shroomy,
yeah im the same- I take around 110-160mg oxy a day. And I always run out. and I have no connections. Ever since the crackdown on pills my doc has lowered my script. Slowly from 180 20mg a month and 12 4mg dialauded to 120 15 mg. It's healthy don't get me wrong, I was getting a crazy amount... but I can't make what she gives me last a month and sometimes it's cause I need them, not just abuse... but I can't say anything. The DEA has everyone by the balls. I mean my script was NOT lowered cause im
better. Im not in less pain. In fact I wasn't asked. That didn't factor in.

Anyway I have similar drugs like you have to help with withdrawls. They'll help a lot. Those muscle relaxers will be a good thing to take. Take a lot of Imodium too.
Try to avoid the needle.
Maybe see a different back doctor (not for pills) but for another opinion. Someone may have a solution where you can get your life back. Keep trying, ok? I have chronic pain too. I get it. But we can't give up. :) I hope your night gets easier.
 
Thanks so much for the advice! A lot of it is spot on. It sounds like your higher prescribed dose was similar to my heroin habit.

Chronic pain is shit, especially when you are young. I got it at 22-23. Spinal torture but when withdrawal gets this bad, I have to do something about it.

Yeah when I started PM my doc was so chill... he seems hysteric now and even demeaning. I think the DEA affects Canada a lot too. Anyways, I'm taking a vacation to the beach for a few weeks to make sure I keep on track. Right after the acute withdrawal should be coming to an end, I will be at a cool spring break place having fun. Even if I just lay on the beach for a few weeks, I am content with that. The ocean breeze and sun will be so damn good for my health after going through this.

Good luck to you as well. That's a high dose and I always found that I fiended dillies compared to oxy's. I didn't end up sleeping last night and it's 830 now, but I took a little oral meth so I've been jamming out to some old school rap music all night. Watched a movie. Not that I recommend that drug for withdrawal, but it's keeping me sane. I won't sleep for a few more days and then I'll crash. The real healing will be my beach retreat : )

Doctors are just fucking drug dealers. My opinion is that my doc was really caught up in the money back then, and once the news started coming out of people dying and blaming the doctors, he became very arrogant. I'm on a starter dose, the lowest dose pills, after several years of use without any tolerance adjustment at all. So I am not justifying it, but it was just so much easier to resort to heroin.

My doc never even really asks what my pain level is like anymore. Appointments are 2 min. I wrote a 4 page note with questions like what / if anything to tell employers about my disability and he wouldn't fucking read it. They don't give a flying fuck, at least no doc I've ever met has. Some say fuck the police... I say fuck the doctors.
 
So true Shroomy. Yeah it's like, my doc doesn't care that my pain condition isn't better but is controlled to a degree by the meds. They just want me lower cause the government says so. Now, I don't take them as directed so I can only get so mad, but if I did take them as directed I'd be pissed cause no other meds help me and they're letting the government dictate my health care. I know people are dying and it's a huge issue, but there's gotta be a middle road for chronic pain peeps who actually do benefit from these meds.
I hear ya with the chronic pain frustration.... i not only have DDD in my back but migraines...and I tore both vetebral arteries in my neck several years back resulting in chronic neck pain. With my migraines, I don't really respond to the common vasoconstrictor meds and it's not great for me to take due to those artery tears (they are healed but still...).... but as my doc tries to lower my meds, it makes me mad cause what then? I'm suppose to take vasoconstrictors that affect my arteries that already tore once? Sigh... all they care about is making $ and not getting into trouble. There are good ones out there I'm sure that are balancing this DEA stuff along with their patients needs ... but not a lot. Most of them are just shook.

yeah I've used coke before to help w pill w/d. That worked alright. I use to have tons of connections back east for these kind of things to help my w/d but since I moved several years ago out west, I lost all connections. Probably better that way. And definitely better on my bank account! But when I'm in w/ds it sucks big time and makes me wish for my old connections.

Being at the beach sounds great and healthy! So you're coming off H but have a low dose of pain meds? That should help you right? Up north you guys can get OTC codeine meds still, right? Sometimes when I go to Canada I grab them and do a CWE on them to try and get rid of the Tylenol... it can help with withdrawl too. Not sure if you've tried that.

Enjoy that vacation!! :)
Good luck to you man!
 
Pretty common story around here. I myself also run out early month after month. I usually run out after 10 days then the balancing act begins. I find that the brain gets pretty pissed off about it when you go from 120ish mg of oxy a day down to zero. Sometimes I'm able to find something and the rest of the time I cope by taking kratom. What a wonderful life we live!

Btw even after several years of this roller coaster I still can't walk away from them. Wtf!
 
So true Shroomy. Yeah it's like, my doc doesn't care that my pain condition isn't better but is controlled to a degree by the meds. They just want me lower cause the government says so. Now, I don't take them as directed so I can only get so mad, but if I did take them as directed I'd be pissed cause no other meds help me and they're letting the government dictate my health care. I know people are dying and it's a huge issue, but there's gotta be a middle road for chronic pain peeps who actually do benefit from these meds.
I hear ya with the chronic pain frustration.... i not only have DDD in my back but migraines...and I tore both vetebral arteries in my neck several years back resulting in chronic neck pain. With my migraines, I don't really respond to the common vasoconstrictor meds and it's not great for me to take due to those artery tears (they are healed but still...).... but as my doc tries to lower my meds, it makes me mad cause what then? I'm suppose to take vasoconstrictors that affect my arteries that already tore once? Sigh... all they care about is making $ and not getting into trouble. There are good ones out there I'm sure that are balancing this DEA stuff along with their patients needs ... but not a lot. Most of them are just shook.

yeah I've used coke before to help w pill w/d. That worked alright. I use to have tons of connections back east for these kind of things to help my w/d but since I moved several years ago out west, I lost all connections. Probably better that way. And definitely better on my bank account! But when I'm in w/ds it sucks big time and makes me wish for my old connections.

Being at the beach sounds great and healthy! So you're coming off H but have a low dose of pain meds? That should help you right? Up north you guys can get OTC codeine meds still, right? Sometimes when I go to Canada I grab them and do a CWE on them to try and get rid of the Tylenol... it can help with withdrawl too. Not sure if you've tried that.

Enjoy that vacation!! :)
Good luck to you man!

Yeah, I'm coming off H and it's shit. I used for 2 months straight this time and had no pain whatsoever during that time, and eventually kind of forgot about my problems, started taking more and taking it for granted and ran out cold. I haven't been right for a month after I ran out of it now, I'm still not anywhere close to right in my body or mind, and my low dose pain meds are not working anymore like they used to. They are starter doses ER and percocet. It totally sucks... I should have more after so many years but the hysteria. I always have extra percs but I honestly just can't figure out the CWE on percs, I have always wasted the pills and I am an engineer you'd think I could figure it out. I hate how there is APAP in my meds like why the fuck? I mean that's cool if you have a temporary toothache but for chronic pain? Why don't I have the IR 20's we have up here? It's been so many years... that's where my tolerance is at.

It just sucks. I went to a hardcore music concert tonight. My back was in agony before I left for it, because I got my haircut today. I took a half pill of speed just to get out of the depression funk, and I ended up taking like 100mg oxy today. So 2 days of meds just to enjoy a show. I'm pissed because I need those to get through my vacation but I wasn't about to miss out on a fun night out because of my pain. I'm obviously underprescribed, and honestly they just shouldn't prescribe me at all if they are not going to ever adjust for tolerance. I don't even need that much... 80mg a day would be fine! That's not too dangerous consider my extreme pain level. I guess they think it's okay for me to spend the last of my 20's bedridden half the time on a heating pad? Like, there comes a point when I just have to accept I need something to function. Nothing else works. The pain has made me depressed and also a panic disorder came out down the road.

These bastards. I end up spending a fortune on extras and it's fucking me over, and now I can't quit. The withdrawals are hell. Yeah... like the percocet helps a bit but tbh I was taking so much more than scripted I can't even really feel them anymore. I should figure out CWE I guess because it's annoying when I want to take more but the APAP prevents me from doing so. But I always fuck those up and there's so much misinformation on those. And yeah I think there are are OTC codeine meds here, but with the caffeine and my anxiety I wouldn't bother. I have enough percs I don't really want to use.

The beach does sound great and healthy, but I'm just going to be in withdrawal the whole time. I'm really anxious about my vacation because I don't have enough pain meds to get by. I can barely handle it at home alone... I hope I'm okay. I really hope I have a decent time. I'm such a mess right now and I leave in a few days so it's really disconcerting for me.

You are right - all they care about is making money and not getting in trouble. I feel like my doctor doesn't listen to me and I hate the dictation. Like, it's my body and my pain how the hell does he know how I'm feeling about it. This is ALL about the fucking bootleg fentanyl in my opinion. When I started on these meds 5 years ago, my doc was way more chill than now.

It's driving me insane, I just want to quit because it's not really worth it anymore. But, I am really struggling with that. Even just going back to my low dose meds is an enormous struggle. I'm upset that I took a lot of shit tonight, but I made it to the show and had fun. I mean... I shouldn't have to stay in on Saturday night and miss one of my favourite bands play because I was unfortunate to end up with a fucked up thoracic spine...

Thanks for the encouragement. Good luck to you too. I am really suffering and I don't know if I will make it. Sometimes I think the only way out of this is to die. Maybe the beach won't be so bad? I'm just so fucking anxious about it... it's not right. Like I'm calculating how much I can take per day while I'm gone and I just want to be okay. With my panic attacks and benzos too I just want to make it through. I've never been nervous about a tropical vacation in all my life. The beach, ocean breeze, sun, cute girls... what is there to worry about? These fucking pills and how I'm still depressed from the Heroin abuse over this winter which I NEVER should have resorted to. I'll never use it again, I'm at least sticking to pills if I need extras. That shit really fucks my head up, way worse than any pharmaceutical. I used it 3 days in a row recently and I feel like it reset that month of progress. I'm so sick of this... I just want to be normal like I used to be before my injury : (
 
I have been very fortunate enough to never get to the physical part of the withdrawals, but I have definitely been where you are right now with the mental portion of it, Sasha. It seems like such a dead and meaningless period in your life between highs. I discovered that after about 3 or 4 days, I can usually pull myself out of the Bog of Opiate Depression and get my life back on track and just be okay. However, there's always that voice, that DEMON in the back of my skull...watching, waiting...reading every text with fervor, eyeing every possible person who might have those blesses little pills sitting in their pocket...oh, just another Perc 10, then I'm good! Yes, but for how long? Two hours? An hour? It's very hard and I commend you for reaching out whereas most would sit and rot in their room, watching the clock tick closer to that ever-impending refill date.
 
My plan now is to go cold turkey for the next few days until I leave. Tapering is too slow a process for me. I need to fucking suffering, I am up into the 100's of mg's of oxycodone but I think I can handle it. My plan is to knock myself out with benzos for the following 3 days, then start packing. Like, seriously knock myself out, but still eat healthy, practice guitar and do some yoga. Force myself to do those things other than lay in bed suffering.

But yeah... oxy wd's SUCK. I can't take it anymore. If they are not going to raise my dose, I'm going to have to tell them to fuck off. When I was first put on ER meds, it was when I wrote a 4 page note to my doctor explaining just how bad the pain is and how it impacts every aspect of my life. He immediately put my on a starter dose of ER, and told me "but we can increase that."

Over a year later, it hasn't been increased. That was when the "fentanyl crisis" started making the headlines. That fentanyl crisis is a result of the lack of proper pain management, and the inaccessibility of much safer opiates. So long as people suffer, they will use these types of drugs. There is no stopping it. It should be legalized with an emphasis on treatments options for when the person ever wants that.

I'm pretty unhappy with the way they have treated my back pain. Drug dealers just take advantage of it, knowing people are desperate, and selling things that costs pennies for exorbitant amounts of money. I just need to quit this bullshit and find some other way to treat my pain. At least stop using chronically and take the odd percocet, if I can manage it. Perl have never been addictive to me the same way as a more serious opiate. Too hard to get high (or eventually well) off without messing up my liver.

Sometimes I wonder if the whole thing is a conspiracy, with the government and other agencies and corporations involved, to get people seriously addicted on this shit as well as heroin for profit. There is just so much money in it and I guarantee that chronic pain treatment is there. If we can blast particles are particle accelerators and send spaceships into orbit, we can fix a fucking back ache you would think. But, there would be no money in that because I wouldn't have to go back to the doctor.
 
My plan now is to go cold turkey for the next few days until I leave. Tapering is too slow a process for me. I need to fucking suffering, I am up into the 100's of mg's of oxycodone but I think I can handle it. My plan is to knock myself out with benzos for the following 3 days, then start packing. Like, seriously knock myself out, but still eat healthy, practice guitar and do some yoga. Force myself to do those things other than lay in bed suffering.

But yeah... oxy wd's SUCK. I can't take it anymore. If they are not going to raise my dose, I'm going to have to tell them to fuck off. When I was first put on ER meds, it was when I wrote a 4 page note to my doctor explaining just how bad the pain is and how it impacts every aspect of my life. He immediately put my on a starter dose of ER, and told me "but we can increase that."

Over a year later, it hasn't been increased. That was when the "fentanyl crisis" started making the headlines. That fentanyl crisis is a result of the lack of proper pain management, and the inaccessibility of much safer opiates. So long as people suffer, they will use these types of drugs. There is no stopping it. It should be legalized with an emphasis on treatments options for when the person ever wants that.

I'm pretty unhappy with the way they have treated my back pain. Drug dealers just take advantage of it, knowing people are desperate, and selling things that costs pennies for exorbitant amounts of money. I just need to quit this bullshit and find some other way to treat my pain. At least stop using chronically and take the odd percocet, if I can manage it. Perl have never been addictive to me the same way as a more serious opiate. Too hard to get high (or eventually well) off without messing up my liver.

Sometimes I wonder if the whole thing is a conspiracy, with the government and other agencies and corporations involved, to get people seriously addicted on this shit as well as heroin for profit. There is just so much money in it and I guarantee that chronic pain treatment is there. If we can blast particles are particle accelerators and send spaceships into orbit, we can fix a fucking back ache you would think. But, there would be no money in that because I wouldn't have to go back to the doctor.
It might be a bit of an issue to fit all of that in such a short period of time. I think you can do it, though. Just don't pick up anymore! If you can put yourself under the pain of it and then, moving forward, handle whatever business you have to take care of, then go for it. Don't look at it as an abstinence vs full use scenario, although that may be what it is, it's better to justify in the short term, and give yourself short term breaks like this, rather than to extend/prolong that high dose. Your pain issues aside, btw - that may be something you will have to consult your doctor once you've tapered down your dose, sad to say.
 
The stars have aligned to fuck me over again. Yet again. To try and show me how much misery I am creating for myself. That's how I see it anyway. I always run out at the worst possible times, and never learn my lesson.

I have pills for my trip... my low dose oxy's. So, I'll just be in mild withdrawal. I was doing a lot of heroin so it won't help much, but it's way better than nothing. There isn't much expected of me... lay on the beach... lay on the beach some more... eat healthy food. I'm over-reacting from anxiety but it's definitely too late to enjoy myself fully while I'm there. I'll try my best. It will be such a relief to be home and I'll probably start using again. That's how it seems to go, but I REALLY want off this time so I'll see.

If I can't get my shit together soon well I am approaching my 30's and I'm going to look into getting subs and off all this shit. Totally sucks but what do ya do when you can't quit nor function at all.

Even to taper, I will need to consult a sub doctor. I'm taking at least 4 times what I'm prescribed most days. Tapering is unaffordable. Today I am trying to get through the day without an opiate pill.
 
The stars have aligned to fuck me over again. Yet again. To try and show me how much misery I am creating for myself. That's how I see it anyway. I always run out at the worst possible times, and never learn my lesson.

I have pills for my trip... my low dose oxy's. So, I'll just be in mild withdrawal. I was doing a lot of heroin so it won't help much, but it's way better than nothing. There isn't much expected of me... lay on the beach... lay on the beach some more... eat healthy food. I'm over-reacting from anxiety but it's definitely too late to enjoy myself fully while I'm there. I'll try my best. It will be such a relief to be home and I'll probably start using again. That's how it seems to go, but I REALLY want off this time so I'll see.

If I can't get my shit together soon well I am approaching my 30's and I'm going to look into getting subs and off all this shit. Totally sucks but what do ya do when you can't quit nor function at all.

Even to taper, I will need to consult a sub doctor. I'm taking at least 4 times what I'm prescribed most days. Tapering is unaffordable. Today I am trying to get through the day without an opiate pill.

I think with the right cocktail we can still help you enjoy your trip. Did I read correctly that you would still have some oxy? When is the trip? If you have the money I would recommend purchasing some kratom and loperamide. Spend a few days before the trip experimenting with dosage of both and you should not only be well but you may even feel pretty damn good.
 
Thanks for your help. I have some loperamide that I just found in the house now, that are 2mg sublingual tabets. Imodium right? Not sure how many I should try? I will try them today, but I thought I would need much more than 2mg tablets. I found them around the house. I've never tried it.

My trip is in just a couple days and I am going for a couple weeks. I will still have oxy, I will have 10mg ER and 5mg percocet. It will be 40mg a day max which still gives me nasty withdrawal including insomnia (and which I spent months tapering down to last year, very uncomfortably). I am no stranger to cold turkey and it's really not much better considering the dose I was on and how frequently I was dosing and nodding. Lately, I've been taking 10mg a day just to sleep at night, and I think it's messing my head up with anxiety. I'm trying to lower my tolerance before I leave. I think when the day comes and I raise my dose to 40mg, I'll be pretty excited to enjoy myself. The back pain has been horrific lately, I can barely walk out of bed for more than a few minutes, so I do need these meds in a way. There is a big difference between taking tamper-proof oxy's and sniffing heroin to no avail, sniffing however much I can afford until I'm broke. And it's only been a few days since I last did any dope. I'm beginning to realize that I've been at it for a long time and that this could lead me to much darker places. I just want to for the most part, stop before I wind up on the streets.

Bear in mind that I'm trying to quit and my doses are going to be low as possible. 40mg oxy a day would be a huge improvement compared to the amounts of heroin, morphine, dilaudid... other drugs I was abusing much more heavily and sniffing. I'm still in withdrawal even at 80mg but I just have to man up. It's not like I'm leaving emptyhanded.

Even if I could get home without fiending for an 8mg dilly pack or a gram of dope I'd be happy with myself. I took it upon myself to seize the opportunity to start the process, and that's pretty much the focus of the trip.

Are there any vitamins that could help? Magnesium? I will be able to get any of those no problem. My worst symptom is the full body muscle ache especially in my upper arms. I don't mean to take over the thread haha but it is regarding oxy wd's and I'm having major issues with that right now. The lethargy is so bad I feel that I don't have the strength to pack my bag. I haven't travelled since I got hooked, as in years, and I have a panic disorder which is really tripping me out about this. I think I'll be able to have a good time; my anxiety is tripping me out. I've already made some progress but I have a benzo problem too. I'm going to have less of those to get by on.
 
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Try taking 8mg of lope this morning then you can dose again at bedtime. You will be shocked at how much relief you will get from them for physical withdrawals. Can you get kratom?
 
I can get kratom for sure, but it makes me nauseated (probably a bad source, sandy shit). I can't bring it with me though... and I have lots of percocet which is still tapering off for me at this point. I don't really feel oxy anymore unless it's over 30 or 40 mg IR. I think I'll find some kratom once I'm home. Good idea.

Thanks so much for the support. I am going through a rough time. I am pretty much suicidal. I just smashed broken bottles all around my place over an argument over nothing with someone. I'm bedridden, it started with chronic pain and was wonderful for the first 18 months or so... before I realized I had a habit - and even then, it wasn't so bad. Just a comfy week in bed watching movies. I can't even do that anymore. I just suffer, suffer, suffer... it never ends now. I am in way too deep. The withdrawal is either progressive, or I'm just losing my ability to cope, but I can't handle this shit like I used to. The financial strain is insane when I could just get 40's or 80's from my doc, yet even though they are tamper proof and pretty much useless for getting high, it's out of the question. So I do heroin.

I am going to try the loperamide now, might as well take the whole blister pack. I often feel alone in this. My only real connection to it is the news, and my 5 minute doctor appointments every 3 months. My stoner friends who I never see anymore talk shit about fentanyl, it's repulsive. I don't use fentanyl but opiates should just be legal. Everyone seems to keep it a secret and it's tough to find others who suffer. This fentanyl crisis bullshit... if it wasn't for that, I'd at least be able to get the right amount of drugs prescribed so I wouldn't have to resort to expensive street shit on top of them. After half a decade or longer, 10mg oxy and percs don't fucking cut it anymore when I have this much pain. I get on heroin and I feel perfectly normal, happy, sociable, optimistic... that's why it's so tough.

Thanks, I think I'll have a good time on the beach. I'm eating healthy but doing a little coke and speed because that's just what I do when I can't get a real hit. Helps keep me sane. I worry that I will die young. I have a lot to lose. I wish I had quit like... the tenth try? It's too much for me now. Well, I will take the loperamide now and then clean up the broken glass.

I have a yoga bolster as well I just got... I think it's time for some yin or restorative yoga. Just, very very light exercise / meditation. On heroin I can do whatever but I have to be really careful in this state. So I will try that too, to calm down my mind. I am furious and I see no way out.
 
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Haha yeah it's freezing up here too. So fucking cold recently, I went to a hardcore concert and it was hard to get there. You'd think I'd be excited for the sun... I suppose that I am. There are just some complications. I have legit pain too and a legal script but it has never been increased in all these years, I just built up a tolerance and had a habit at that point and needed more, surprisingly, couldn't get it legally. My doc at first said we could increase it, like the first appointment I was put on ER meds, but that was before this fentanyl thing. Why put me on the meds to begin with if they will never adjust tolerance. The pain is unbearable and it's keeping me out of the workplace at this point, destroying my engineering career. It is so cold up here too though, thanks for reminding me. It's damn warm where I'm going but not too too hot.
The loperamide helped. I took a whole blister pack of the minty sublingual 2mg ones and it is undeniable. My body is chill, my mind is a lot more relaxed too. No euphoria or pain relief but I feel a lot more normal. What a surprise. It's not the yoga because yoga doesn't relax me like this. I could probably do a 5min downward dog right now... I think I will, and more leg stretches. So yeah, glad I found that one out.
Yep this trip is mainly an attempt to lift my spirits out of depression and get me trying to find work again. Walks help for sure! Even around the block ones. But, it's just so damn cold out, and my muscles are weak. The lethargy is awful which is why I sometimes turn to coke or speed. Not a good choice but it gets me out of bed at least, I hate stimulants though. At least I will be getting away from that shit when I travel.
My chronic pain is normally not this bad, it's exacerbated by the withdrawal. I know that much, that it would get better over time. The loperamide has made me a bit sleepy too. I could use some more of that stuff.
I'm going to try magnesium for the muscle aches. Anyways, I feel a lot better. And thanks for the help. I kinda built myself an online support system... that's what I've done... I want to keep this a secret. And made myself videos to document where I'm at with stuff. I find playing guitar helps a lot, having a fun hobby. It's becoming tougher and tougher to keep it a secret with all the problems.
The sexual / testosterone related side effects for guys are pretty crummy too. What a miserable drug to get hooked on, and for so long, it eventually seems hopeless. If I "get clean" I have that agonizing pain in my spine to deal with, the pain that left my pretty much staring at a wall for two years before I got on these drugs. Eventually causing a panic disorder, a least in my opinion, that was attributed to untreated long term pain.
 
If you've never tried Loperamide let me say from my own experience with a tolerance similar to yours built over 7yrs that it works. For me, I have to take at least 20mgs (yes 40 2mg pills) for it to work.

That's 80mg there Einstein lol. ; ]

But yes 20mg of loperamide seems to be the minimum effective dose to relieve withdrawal symptoms, in users with light to moderate habits.

I found its best to dose the lope before WD occurs. It doesn't seem as effective if you take it in the midsts of WD. Plus it takes several hours to take effect..
 
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